Date: Fri, 8 Sep 1995 09:21:21 +1000 (EST)
To: Paul Ewing
Subject: Re: THE ALL-NEW ADVENTURES OF STANLEY THE STEAK KNIFE
I really don't think that Stanley should be stting the example of starting a relationship with secrets to hide!!!!! What will this teach the complete children that read this stuff?!!???!?!?!?!?
Concerned parent-to-be!
Date: Fri, 15 Sep 1995 02:14:45 -0400
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: THE ALL-NEW ADVENTURES OF...
>THE ALL-NEW ADVENTURES OF STANLEY THE STEAK KNIFE does > not have to implement affirmative action policies because our goal is to > represent as many kitchen utensils as possible. Of course we still won't > mention the potato peelers - because frankly you wouldn't touch 'em.
I quite agree. And besides, ever since Peter the Potato Peeler has gotten his bow-tie, he's become quite the high brow. He won't let anyone touch him. He refuses to look in the eye of any spuds either. I believe I've created a monster. I tried to snatch the bow-tie back but the little *&%$# shaved a quarter of an inch of my fingernail off. It was ghastly. I don't believe Peter is made of stainless so he has no business being so snobbish. And beside, ever since that human accidently dropped him in the garbage disposer, which subsequently was turned on, he has that ugly scar. Stanley is quite right, who would touch a potato peeler?
From [email protected] Oct 8 23:22:07 1995 Date: Wed, 27 Sep 1995 14:06:32 -0400
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: RE: YOUR INCLUSION IN MIRSKY'S WORST OF THE WEB
HE WAS RIGHT! YOUR WEB PAGE IS THE WORST I'VE EVER SEEN! (AND I SAW ONE TODAY ABOUT A GUY WHOSE DOG ATE VASELINE, AND THE GRAPHIC DESCRIPTION OF IT'S PASSING!)
YOUR PAGE MAKES ME LONG FOR THE DAYS OF THE ATARI 2600 WHEN BLOCKY PAC-MEN WAS THE WORST THING WE SAW ON THE SCREEN.
KILL STANLEY! PUT HIS STUPID SELF IN A TRASH COMPACTOR.
Date: Tue, 26 Sep 95 09:43:58 -0700
To: [email protected]
Subject: Your web page
Haven't had time to see your "Stanley the Steak Knife" yet. I was just browsing around this AM looking for ANYTHING to give me a giggle.
I am a graduate student at Florida State University in Criminology. Since that subject is so demanding at times I branch out to look for levity in my life.
Hope to see your story some day.
Date: Thu, 28 Sep 1995 15:03:32 EDT
To: [email protected]
Subject: Where have you gone, Stanley
Where, o where are you, Stanley? Please say you're all right--my kitchen tools seem bent on maiming me if I fail to read them the latest adventure pretty soon.
Fearing for your knife, R
Date: Sun, 01 Oct 1995 16:20:45 -0700
To: [email protected]
Subject: (no subject)
I like those stories. Keep up the good work. Continue to write them, please. YOu deserve the honor of being on Mirsky's list, where the interesting sights are separated from the boring. When you write a new story, mail me to tell me that you have writen another story, or mail the story to me. Enough about that, I have a question:What will happen to Stan next? Evil twin?-Steve
Date: Wed, 04 Oct 95 11:49:43 0000
To: [email protected]
Subject: (no subject)
you are twisted. wanna be friends? subscribe me.....
Date: Fri, 06 Oct 1995 01:56:55 +0400
To: [email protected]
Subject: (no subject)
This is so odd, I must subscribe...
All Stories by Paul Ewing 1995
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