Once again, choose from a variety of options to make your very own awful adventure!
Stanley hated humans, because they were so hard to maim. were so hard to dissect. were so hard to dice and cook on a hot pan until golden brown before adding the garlic and onions to soften ...
One day, Stanley was scratching a sexy pair of Salad Tongs disembowling a kitten scraping teflon off a frypan cutting a corn off a finger poking around with Brenda the Buxom Blender in hot water with David the Dishmop ... singing in an all-girl choir called the "Silver Oysters" when a fat great big fat great big and enormously fat just bloody huge absolutely freakin' bloody huge quite large (all things being equal) ... person went up to him and shouted: "Steak knives don't do that sort of stuff with kitchen things as it is illegal!" do such shoddy work!" engage in activities that are more at home with Conservative politicians!" do disgusting things with seafood!" touch pussies like that!" surprise me at all with such rude and naughty naughty behavior!" ...
So Stanley, feeling deaf, and a little silly, and naughty, and cheeky, but really happy with himself, and exhausted, but raunchy, ... went home.
THE END
© Paul Ewing December 1996 Return to the home page