CONFERENCE
My Take on things: (notes by) Deanna
HALIBURTON (DAY2) NOVEMBER 28th 2004
Levels during trauma:
Level One � To Physically Survive
Challenge: To escape the danger and receive physical support
Goal for helper: Provide physical needs.
Level Two � Safety
Need for Victim: To feel safe.
Challenge: To feel that ones life is no longer threatened. To regain control over their environment.
Goal for helper: To provide a safe environment and empower victims. To prevent re-victimization. To start emotional connection. Keep victims informed. (The ole �face your fears and get back on that horse response isn�t at all responsible.)
Level Three � Affiliation
Need for victim: To feel connected with others.
Challenge for victim: To experience connection with others in short and long term relationships.
Goal for helper: Assist victim to connect with the person of their choice.
Level Four � Self Esteem
Need for the victim: Feels validated.
Challenge for victim: To come to terms with what has happened by obtaining any information one needs. To feel worthy of survival. To feel that ones losses are honoured.
Goal for helper: Confirm the self worth of the victim by validating them and by showing respect for the victim�s losses.
Level Five � Transcendence
Need for the victim: To transcend trauma.
Challenge for the victim: Make a commitment to become conscious of ones life and its impact on the universe.
Goal for helper: Validate what is true for the victim.
The job of the helper in a traumatic situation is to support the victim with:
1) Physical survival
2) Safety for everyone
3) Connection
4) Validation
5) Growth
David Crombie became active in the anti-violence movement in his late teens and was one of the founders for the �walk home� programs on post-secondary campuses across Canada. From 1988-2000 David was a busy crisis worker, coach, and advocate for survivors of interpersonal violence in London. As a crime prevention speaker, he was involved in public policy debates at the local and national level. David currently is the Director of Professional Development for the Kawartha Lakes Association for Volunteer Administrators and the Coordinator of Leadership Development Services for the United Way for the City of Kawartha Lakes. In his spare time, David volunteers with the mental health community and supports organizations such as Victoria-Haliburton Victim Services.
In 1985 one week before David was to turn 16 he was brutally raped by a male. David does not see himself as a victim but rather as a survivor. David kept his rape to himself. He told one friend only the night it happened. David has no idea to this day who the perpetrator was. He has 5 suspects who he tries to keep tabs on just in case. After David�s assault David turned to self-destructive behaviour. He experienced increased aggression and lost the love of music he had for many years. David you see was raped while away on a high school band trip. By 17 yrs of age David was a very angry young man, he moved out and by 22 yrs of age was pulling away from relationships. Other feelings that David experienced were self blame, self loathing, second guessing his sexuality (thinking that maybe he was gay � he was not) David felt that he was paying a price for the sexual orientation of gay men as some attacks are actually a form of �gay bashing�. He felt numb, couldn�t cry, and then questioned himself as to whether it actually happened or not. He was worried about what others might think if he told and felt very dirty.
David gives the following advice when talking to victims of crime.
� Remain calm
� Assure the survivor they did the best they could
� Say things like �I can�t imagine how difficult this must be for you.
� Be a good listener.
� BELIEVE the survivor � it is for the courts to determine if the account is not to be believed.
� Ask the survivor what they would like you to call them. The attacker may have called them �David� and the survivor�s friends really call him �Dave�. Calling him �David� may just reinforce the attack in their minds causing them to re-live it.
� Minimise physical contact
� Apologize for doing your job. �Sometimes I hate my job, I�m so sorry but I really have to ask you a few questions.�
� If the survivor expresses guilt � tell them again they did the best that they could under the circumstances. (Especially helpful if dealing with acquaintance rape)
� Fear paralyses but so does panic.
� Reassure the survivor that what ever they tell you will remain private.
� Avoid �why� questions. They sound accusing.
� Don�t tell the survivor what you would have done in their position.
� Try not to show the survivor discomfort with the topic at hand.