1 Guinea pigs and rabbits are often sacrificed for scientific purposes. But here is a new one - 2 Before a clinic of mystery Dr. Ulrich Metz propounds a fantastic theory of evil design. 3 "I mean to take a human life in the cause of science, but this must remain a professional secret with us." 4 "Other scientists ex- periment with animals but I have selected a human being ---- as my work concerns the human mind." 5 "The power of suggestion can destroy both mind and body. But first I weaken the power of resistance in my subject by implanting psychic germs of fear, worry, supersti- ions and kindred annoyances." 6 "For three months I have directed my ex- periment upon a normal young man, but he is unaware of his fate." 7 It is midnight along New York's water front. It is also midnight in the Wall street district. However, this has nothing to do with our story, except it is like- wise midnight uptown where we first meet Daniel Boone Brown -- an average young man. Our tale proper opens with the eating of an onion -- 8 "Is this all right? You know it's midnight!" 9 "The stronger the food the stronger the man. It's good exercise for the stomach, sir." 10 The way of an onion with a stomach. 11 Lobster -- 12 Welsh Rarebit -- 13 Mince Pie -- 14 Living just across the hall Dr. Metz awaits word from one of his confederates. 15 "I gave him the food you directed. He will soon be in the throes of another horrible nightmare." 16 "Ghostly fingers now stirring in his troubled mind will make him an easy victim for my ex- periment." 17 The stuff that dreams are made of. 18 In his quiet way the janitor aids in the conspiracy. 19 "Quick! Get my dream book." 20 "Beg pardon, sir -- but you got out of bed on the wrong side." 21 "How do you feel this morning, sir?" 22 "Don't like to brag, but I feel great - immense!" 23 "You are two hours late for work, sir." 24 "'Tis bad luck to look in a glass - Which mirrors another, alas! alas!" 25 "Three times seven. Wow! Twenty-one years bad luck." 26 "Your uncle is on the phone. He is quite angry, sir." 27 "Now, get right down here -- you understand?" 28 "Are you ready to dress, sir?" 29 "Yes - you poor simp!" 30 "X!-!*?-!-!-!X-X!???" (Not chemically pure.) 31 "See a pin and pick it up - All the day you'll have good luck." 32 A very good habit Is the foot of a rabbit. 33 "It looks like rain, sir." 34 "Say - how is it you always pop out just as I come along?" 35 "It's mental telepathy, my boy. Our minds are attuned in perfect harmony." 36 "You must not smile. That is the mark and expression of the idiotic." 37 "Do not hurry! You must concen- trate - think - think! And take it easy --" 38 "That Damuel Bloomin' Brown has flooded and ruined my apartment!" 39 "I'm late - my uncle - I'll see her tonight." 40 One's surely in luck If a white horse goes by And a red-headed lady Next gladdens his eye. 41 "I'll give you ten dollars to lead me to a red-headed woman." 42 "I work for one. Slip me the ten smacks." 43 "When the door opens you'll see a red-headed woman all right." 44 "I should think you would be ashamed --" 45 "Is that young whipper-snapper here yet?" 46 "George!" 47 "Get me some cigars." 48 "I'll get him in good humor. Watch me!" 49 "Nephew or no nephew -- I'll not tolerate this!" 50 "Do you know how late you are?" 51 "Yes sir - seven years!" 52 "Nothing good can ever come of you!" 53 "No - not for twenty- eight years." 54 "You're laid off for a week - with- out pay! Get out of my office!" 55 "Remember - one week!" 56 "Get out of here - and stay out!" 57 "Get ---- my ---- hat." 58 "No wonder you got fired - wearing that opal ring." 59 "Don't throw it away in here." 60 Another shadow of Dr. Metz. 61 "Oh - lost his job, eh?" 62 The long arm of superstition. 63 "That's why you stumbled - wearing that opal ring." 64 "Oh - are you superstitious?" 65 "Terribly so ----" 66 HE SHE "Well, isn't that "Well, isn't that wonderful?" wonderful?" 67 "Needles!" 68 "Pins!" 69 "I think it's a good sign to meet such a nice girl on such a nice day in such a nice park." 70 "Bread and butter!" 71 Lucette Bancroft -- a wild flower from Oklahoma - transplanted by Art to a hothouse studio in the wilds of New York City's Greenwich Village. 72 "Does a certain party -- sort of - like me?" 73 "You ask Ouija the same thing." 74 "Is a certain party engaged?" 75 "This isn't an en- gagement ring - it's a promise ring." 76 "One ring - a promise. Two rings - engagement. Three rings ----" 77 "Three rings - hot water!" 78 "Don't touch it. 'What falls to the floor - Comes to the door'." 79 Mark Drake, a boll weevil mayor of a boom oil town in Oklahoma. 80 "Ouija - can two live as cheaply as one?" 81 "Please come and see what this says." 82 "Huh! Hair cut while you work, eh? That's a great idea!" 83 "It's the New York idea. Everything hustle and bustle - economy in space and time." 84 "There's a deal in oil that'll knock your eye out." 85 "Won't you remain for lunch?" 86 "I'm sorry, but I'm -- I'm a very busy man and ----" 87 "But you said you had nothing to do for a whole week." 88 A falling knife is a dead sure hunch That some young man will come to lunch. 89 "Then I'm going to take one guess and pick that man." 90 Bobby De Vere - a daylight Bohemian - whose chief contri- bution to art is her bobbed hair. 91 "Old man Bancroft and me own this land together - but he doesn't know there's oil on it." 92 "You buy us out cheap ---- understand! Then put money in to develop it - and I'm your silent partner." 93 "We'll finish our dis- cussion after lunch." 94 "Say -- this is a great idea! Eat while you work, eh?" 95 "I don't dare show my hand in the trans- action. But you send a man out west -- I'll hoodwink old Bancroft into selling. Get me?" 96 "I have just the man - my nephew. He's a dum-fuddle, but we can trust him." 97 "He's sort of taking a vacation. But I think I can induce him to call it off and go back west with you." 98 "He's in love - girl he met in the park." 99 "Good! That will be the foundation for more trouble - jealousy!" 100 Across Love's sunlit path an ominous shadow falls 101 "Oh, doctor - you don't know what has happened ----" 102 "You've lost your job." 103 "Yes ---- but some- thing else - something fine and big!" 104 "Oh, you mean the girl in the studio?" 105 "How - how did you know that?" 106 "Just another remarkable case of thought trans- mission." 107 "Daniel - come here!" 108 "You've caused me no end of trouble, but I'm going to give you one more chance. There's a business proposition out west -- --" 109 "Your uncle tells me you're the very boy to swing a little deal we have on tap." 110 "He should not have that job." 111 "Get ready to go back west with me. I'm leav- ing tomorrow night ---- Lackawanna ferry." 112 "I'm the happiest man in the world! Got a job -- got a girl -- and I'm going right down and pro- pose to her." 113 "Darn that black cat!" 114 "I'm off to see a little girl from the old home town. Great idea, eh?" 115 A secret deal in oil. 116 "Animal pictures, eh?" 117 "I'm going west to- morrow, but before I go I want to ask you to be my ----" 118 "Now that we are alone I want to ask you ----" 119 "There's a question I've wanted to ask you for a long, long time. Will you ----" 120 "Tell Lucy the Mayor is here." 121 "Bless your heart, Lucy - you're prettier than ever." 122 "And you still wear the promise ring!" 123 "Well, Lucy - I've come to ask you the big question." 124 "Please marry me. Look here ----" 125 "Please say you'll marry me." 126 "Say, whose hat is this?" 127 "Oh, the hat! It's - it's mine. I - I always wear it when I paint." 128 "Let's take a look at the house." 129 "Let's get him to the balcony - THE BALCONY!" 130 "If you don't promise to marry me I'll dash myself to death below." 131 "Come on, say 'yes' or - 'YES'." 132 "You know - wearing that hat means a forfeit." 133 "I'm the happiest man in the world!" 134 "I'm sorry, Mark, but there is some- one else - someone I really love." 135 "That's all right. I guess I'll survive it." 136 "So, the man she has jilted is the same one who gave Brown the job? I shall bring the three to- gether -- a love triangle." 137 S.O.S. for wedding guests. 138 "I'm getting the bunch together for one last large evening. Bring your sister - or anybody's sister." 139 "Why not invite your uncle -- and that gentleman from the west?" 140 "Dr. Metz, you always think of everything." 141 "Something old - something new, Something borrowed - something blue --" 142 "-- and a piece of silver to wear in my shoe." 143 The happiest man in the world all set for the happiest event of his life - - - the surprise wedding. 144 "What's the big idea of wearing your shirt inside out?" 145 "I got it on wrong - bad luck to change it." 146 "Everything is arranged for tonight." 147 "When I say 'one who has promised to be my wife' -- you come in." 148 The extra help. 149 "First of all I want to thank my benefactor who has made this happy event possible." 150 "Beg pardon, sir -- but there are thirteen chairs at the table." 151 "I'll just stand." 152 "The preacher is here, sir." 153 "Do you prefer wed- dings - or funerals?" 154 "And now I take great pleasure in pre- senting to you the one who has honored me and promised to be my wife." 155 "I now take extreme pleasure in presenting to you -----" 156 "As I was saying - I am proud to intro- duce to you -----" 157 "What's the big idea - you here?" 158 "Why, why nothing - except I'm going to be married." 159 "So, he forgot to tell you his uncle has oil interests there and is sending him west to double-cross your father!" 160 "You needn't worry, Lucy - he's not going. I came to New York just to put a stop to this conspiracy." 161 "He never intended to marry you. He's only using you in the plot to cheat your father." 162 "Try to forget him, dearie. Why not go back to that little town of yours where everybody loves you?" 163 "You've got to cut out this noise or I'll call the police." 164 "Our deal is off. That dunderhead nephew of yours is going to marry old man Bancroft's girl. He's told her everything." 165 "A pretty mess you've made of this. Why, you must be insane!" 166 "I'm through with you - for all time." 167 "You scoundrel! You blackguard! You've broken her heart." 168 "She's gone away with one who really loves her. She never wants to see you again." 169 Within Brown's head now rages a brain storm. 170 Reason totters on her throne - 171 - whilst Sense of Humor, blinded by the storm, cringes helpless at her feet. 178 From the black clouds spring Worry and Jealousy - arch conspirators against Reason. 179 "Lucette!" 180 "Where is everybody? Where's Lucette?" 181 "She's gone - gone with the man she is to marry." 182 The Lackawanna ferry - to the west-bound train. 183 "Reason must die! Quick, Worry ---- summon Despair." 184 "There he is now!" 185 "Wonder how he ever got over those gates!" 186 "Hello, Charlie." 187 "Hello, Tom." 188 "We're going to take you back home, Doc." 189 The ray of Truth re- vives Sense of Humor. 190 Out of this crisis comes unknown strength and Sense of Humor easily destroys his enemies. 191 "Did you ever hear the story of the old maid in the sleeping car?" 192 "I just got on to myself! From now on I'm going to buck life with a sense of humor." 193 "Look here -- you big, blustering bully - you've been bulldozing and browbeating me long enough!" 194 "Look! Get him - he's crazy, too." 195 "I'm going to get that girl - find out just what happened - and then kick the stuffing out of somebody." 196 "What will you charge to shoot me over to the Jersey side?" 197 "I'm not in that business." 198 "This isn't business - it's a girl." 199 "Oh ----- a girl!" 200 "I understand - I'll humor him." 201 "I'm going to camp here on your door- step till I learn what this is all about." 202 Love's tireless vigil - as the saying goes. 203 Out of a clouded sky - 204 "Dispatch from the Junction says the Mil- ford dam is ready to bust. Must get every- body off the train and make for the hills." 205 "Better get this train out of here - the dam is ready to bust any minute." 206 "Lucette! Lucette! You must open this door - there is danger." 207 "I'll not see you. It's just another one of your con- temptible tricks." 208 "I know of your scheme to rob my father - Mark Drake told me everything." 209 "LUCETTE!" 210 Rain clouds and brain clouds -- storms that grasp like living things - melt away under the beaming smile of the morning sun, but -- Our hero is still up a tree. 211 "Where's Lucette?" 212 "I don't know - and don't care. I'm busy looking after myself." 213 "Sic 'em!" 214 "Read this while I duck down in the kitchen and get you something to eat." 215 "Here comes a church - preacher and everything." 216 "Will you marry me?" 217 "You can use this opal ring - if you're not superstitious." 218 "Oh, look - there's a new moon. Make a wish - over your left shoulder." 219 "You know I don't really believe in this but I think it means good luck." 220 Never despair, folks, everything will be Jake --- 221 -- when the clouds roll by. THE END.Home