1 The S. S. Belganic from France was nearing New York. 2 In olden days it took the flip of a whale's tail to upset a ship ... but now a pretty girl's smile can do it. 3 Did any of you ladies ever divorce your husband and then suddenly discover you had made a terrible mistake? SO DID MRS. GARRY AINSWORTH. ... MARIE PREVOST 4 "Garry, dearest ... I thought you were so naughty but I've found you are so nice." 5 "If I can find my husband in New York, I'm going to get a credit slip for our divorce." 6 "You don't mean to say you're going to scramble the same egg again?" 7 "I caught him in a ladies' shop buying something. He wouldn't explain so I started to get a divorce!" 8 "Sounds just like a movie." 9 "This is what he bought. Heaven only knows why I didn't open it until after the divorce." 10 "-- and to think he never got to see me wear it." 11 LEONARD MASON of London, Paris, Berlin ... and other points "wet". ... Paul Nicholson 12 HENRIETTA, his sister. ... Maud Truax 13 "Sis, the way you love candy, you should have married the Chocolate Soldier." 14 "You're getting as heavy as the Rock of Gibraltar." 15 "Wait til you see what we saw! Stick around and I'll give you an introduction." 16 "Why, Mr. Mason! When did you leave Paris?" 17 "Sister ... this is Miss ... er - er ..." 18 "... Er--er was my maiden name. I'm Mrs. Essington now ... divorced." 19 "Here's that wireless you've been expecting from Garry Ainsworth." 20 "No, thank you! One must keep one's figure." 21 "Well ... it's my nature to be a little robust!" 22 "My darling Harry! If only his whiskers were on top of his head ... he'd be perfect." 23 "Your sister said that your wire was from Garry Ainsworth. Very familiar name - who is he?" 24 "He's just a dub architect. Forget him ... let's talk about us." 25 Among new friends Garry Ainsworth was posing as a bachelor. He figured his secret marriage in Paris was like a vaccination .... it hadn't taken. ... HARRISON FORD 26 Across the hall - the office of Jimmie Larchmont - a new friend of Ainsworth's. ... Harry Myers 27 ALICIA, Jimmy's wife ... his Stop-and-Go signal. ... Sylvia Breamer 28 PHYLLIS WELLS, Unmarried .... but not unwilling. ... PHYLLIS HAVER 29 ARTHUR WALKERS was so crazy about Phyllis that he'd sit for hours reading an apple and eating a book. ... Carl Gerard 30 "We're a man shy for your party tonight. Let's ask that nice new friend of yours, Garry Ainsworth." 31 "I need advice, Ainsworth. I'm in love with Phyllis and I haven't the nerve to propose." 32 "Go on ... laugh! You don't know how a girl can wreck a fellow's life!" 33 "You win ... by a tongue!" 34 "Not this map." 35 "This one!" 36 "We're celebrating our wedding anniversary. You simply must join my party." 37 "Anniversary? I thought you said you were married only six months ago." 38 "We're not taking any chances. Lots of people that wait a year never get to celebrate!" 39 "I know they don't!" 40 "We'll see you at the party tonight." 41 "Too bad you never married, Ainsworth. You're the kind of fellow that women understand." 42 "A lady calling. Says her name is Mabel." 43 "Tell her you found me dead and sent me to the morgue." 44 "Aren't you going to kiss me, Garry?" 45 "We can't do that any more, Mabel. It - - wouldn't be proper now that we're not married." 46 "Come on, Garry ... just one little kiss from Papa to his Mama." 47 "Well, if you won't kiss me, I'll kiss you!" 48 "You're not my wife any more! You're only my widow!" 49 "Don't worry! We're going to be married again, Garry." 50 "Garry Ainsworth ... you are going to kiss me!" 51 "We are NOT going to be married! The same woman will never divorce me twice!" 52 "Now ... my reputation's ruined. Everybody will think I'm a swivel-chair sheik!" 53 "The only way we can save your reputation is to be married again .... right away." 54 "Mrs. Larchmont says to tell you the party will be at the El Rey Night Club." 55 "Just because you got a divorce you lose all respect for me and go running around like a single man!" 56 "I am a single man! I didn't marry twins, did I?" 57 "You won't be single much longer." 58 The El Rey Night Club was one of those places where twenty dollars wouldn't buy enough food to widen a worm's waistline. 59 "My uncle is bringing a snappy number with him ... and I think she's just what the doctor ordered for you." 60 "You don't know how thrilled I am to meet you, Mr. Ainsworth." 61 [in small type] "I fixed it, didn't I? Now do your stuff." 62 "Nice and cool here, isn't it?" 63 "Not where I'm sitting, it isn't!" 64 "We're supposed to be dancing ... not wrestling!" 65 "If I ever take you to a dance again ... I'll make you wear a bridle and blinkers." 66 "The only thing that will ever stop me from re-marrying you is for some other girl to beat me to it!" 67 "Phyllis has refused to become engaged to me ... because she is crazy about you." 68 "She says she likes you because you're pure and innocent .... and never had a love-affair." 69 "Mabel's a peach, isn't she? And imagine ... she was married to a terrible cluck!" 70 "He beat her ... stole her money ... deserted her in Paris ... AND RAN OFF WITH ANOTHER WOMAN!" 71 "If I find that alley cat I'll force him to re-marry Mabel .... unless he's married to someone else!" 72 "Give me that engage- ment ring ... I've got a job for it!" 73 "Another good man gone wrong! Garry's engaged ... the poor sap!" 74 "Perhaps I'll be there when you're married!" 75 "I've the cutest piece of lingerie, especially embroidered, that I'll send you for an engagement present." 76 "What a beautiful ring! It's so much larger than the one my husband gave me!" 77 "Marriage is such a gamble! My husband was a devil! Wine, women and song ... but he didn't sing much!" 78 "Let's give Garry and Phyllis a surprise engagement party at your house over the week-end." 79 "Splendid idea!" 80 By the time Garry reached home he was so hot a waffle would have cooked under his collar. 81 "Hawkins, I'm going to Mr. Mason's for the week-end. Thank Heaven, Mabel won't be there!" Hawkins ... William Orlamond 82 "You can't stay here, Mabel! I'm an engaged man!" 83 "Well, you'll soon be disengaged!" 84 "Please go ... I think there's going to be a terrible storm!" 85 "I overheard Phyllis say her apartment is just across the hall from here and that maybe she'd come over to say good night .... SO I'M HERE FIRST." 86 "You'd better go! We have burglars here every night about this time!" 87 "I just came in to say good night to you, Garry, dear." 88 "I adore you, Garry. You're so innocent ... and pure." 89 "That's my valet's kimona. He loves girlish things!" 90 "Oh, those? They're little novelties that my sister sent me! Ash trays!" 91 "You'd better go, Phyllis ... before the janitor drops in to see what's coming off in here." 92 "Oh, Ga-a-a-ary!" 93 "Garry, come here!" 94 "I adore you, Garry. You're so pure." 95 At the Mason home the week-end party was starting strong. 96 "I'm so miserable! There's something between my Garry and that vamp, Mabel." 97 "Thank goodness, you've arrived, Hawkins! I'm in an awful jam!" 98 "My ex-wife is here ... and she's here for no good!" 99 "Beg pardon? Your ... ex-what!" 100 "My ex-wife - MABEL!" 101 "I once gave my wife a present of a er--er ... doo-dad!" 102 "A doo which, sir?" 103 "A doo-dad! A feminine doo-dad! An article of intimate apparel!" 104 "- - and on it was embroidered MABEL FROM GARRY!" 105 "What a place to advertise, sir!" 106 "She's threatening to show it to Phyllis ... just to break our engagement! But, we'll fool her! I'm going to her room and steal it." 107 "If Phyllis catches you crawling from my room you'll have to be a better explainer than you are an architect!" 108 "You've been hanging on her door all day! You're a regular door- knob!" 109 "You've got to go to Mabel's room and find that er--er .... what- you-may-call-it!" 110 "This is a fine engage- ment party! Phyllis hanging around Arthur's neck, and Garry hanging around Mabel's door!" 111 "You're right, dear. But maybe they're going to form a quartette!" 112 "Well .... don't let me catch you trying to do any singing!" 113 "We're having lovely weather up and down the halls, aren't we?" 114 "Oh, er - - er, Mrs. Larchmont .... could you forgive the man you love if he did something wrong?" 115 "If something had happened .... a little foolish - er - -" 116 "You mean ... some kind of a little slip?" 117 "It's not exactly a slip, it's a - -" 118 "I've got the gadjett, sir!" 119 "This isn't the one! It hasn't my name on it!" 120 "She has fainted! Carry her up to my room!" 121 "Somebody's shedding! Who lost this?" 122 "It doesn't fit me, sir." 123 "Your brother is up in Mabel's room." 124 "Your husband is up in Mabel's room." 125 "Now, Baby ... don't get me wrong! I was just going around gathering up the laundry!" 126 "Now I understand what Garry meant about the man I love taking a little slip!" 127 "Garry knew you had this thing. He spoke of it a minute ago!" 128 "Take it back to your other wife .... you - big Turk!" 129 "Honest, Baby! That thing must have been on the hook when I put my coat on!" 130 "And I thought my Garry so pure!" 131 "Did you get it? Did you get it?" 132 "A burglar's climbing up in Mabel's room!" 133 "I've found the doo-funny, sir!" 134 "Take it out and burn it!" 135 "BURGLARS!" 136 "Burn it - hang it - shoot it - anything! Get rid of it!" 137 "I dropped it, sir .... as I was shot in the window!" 138 "I got him, but he crawled back into the room to die." 139 "I'll bet I know who the 'burglar' is." 140 "Brother!" 141 "BROTHER!!" 142 "You're the only one who can afford to be caught!" 143 "Just as I thought." 144 "You needn't tell me you feel like a father to Mabel. Fathers don't hide under their daughter's bed!" 145 "I suppose you're here to beat the rugs!" 146 "Garry has taken it!" 147 "We've got to hustle and find that doo-jigger!" 148 "I'm going to Garry's room and make him explain." 149 "Darling, please give it back to me. It's all I have to remember you since you love that other woman." 150 "I thought it was Garry!" 151 "I'll not let you blacken Garry's character to save that bigamist!" 152 "Listen, Baby .... I can explain everything so even you can understand it!" 153 "You can't explain anything to anybody!" 154 "It's too bad we didn't find the - er - feminine fiddle-sticks, sir. You could wear it while your clothes are drying." 155 "I suppose it's Arthur's turn to be caught in Mabel's room." 156 "Mabel's not in her room." 157 "Then I'll make sure she's not in Arthur's." 158 "I've got to find Garry! I've got something on him!" 159 "You're hiding something from me! Mabel's probably in your room right now." 160 "Mabel, COME OUT!" 161 "I've got it on." 162 "What does she mean she's got it on? What's IT ... and where's ON?" 163 "I guess she means the - er - er - indescribable!" 164 "Well, it looks like you've joined my club." 165 "Did you see what I saw?" 166 "The last time I saw Garry he was up in -" 167 "Go on and say it - - 'UP IN MABEL'S ROOM'!" 168 "I'm not going to be engaged to any man who spends the evening under another woman's bed!" 169 "It's MY ring. I only lent it to Garry because I thought Phyllis loved him." 170 "You can climb up to Mabel's room, sir, and then steal down the hall to your own room." 171 "Mr. Ainsworth is up in Mabel's room." 172 "A telegram for the lady." 173 "Oh, Garry! We're still married! The divorce didn't take!" 174 "We've got to explain to them! Where is that er--er--er - nom- de-plume?" 175 "Keep cool! Read this!" 176 "Jumpin' ukuleles! They've been married all the time!" The EndHome