Spite Marriage

1
"May I present Miss
Trilby Drew .... my
   leading lady."

2
"Who is that man, Lionel?
I see him everywhere I go
        lately."

3
"Your suit is thoroughly 
  cleaned, Mr. Brown.
I had it in the air all 
      morning."

4
"That guy hasn't missed 
a performance for the 
  last four weeks."

5
"Your admirer is in the
front row again tonight,
Miss Drew .... with his
    white gloves."

6
"It's wonderful to sit here
and watch you act, Lionel."

7
"What's that blonde
hanging around you 
      for?"

8
"Can I help it if I'm 
    good-looking?"

9
"Places.... first act."

10
"Whoa!"

11
"He ain't hurt. I just
saw him outside when 
     I came in."

12
"Oh, Steffen, Steffen!
   You're wounded!"

13
"A scratch is nothing to
a Southern gentleman!"

14
"Hide, quick! Here 
comes the enemy!"

15
"There's a spy within 
these gates .... and
I won't take no for 
    an answer!"

16
"He gets shot in the
     third act."

17
"Search yon plantation
and leave not a cotton
   bulb untouched!"

18
"No woman can defy me
without a struggle!"

19
"Take him away ....
and shoot him in 
   the barn!"

20
"Remember, gal ... there's
  only one way to save 
      him! Ha! Ha!"

21
"Don't forget, dear, you're
  taking me out tonight."

22
"I'm sorry, my beloved,
  but I have another 
     engagement."

23
There are only two
cures for love ....
marriage and suicide.

24
"I'd give anything in 
  the world to play 
 your part, Mister."

25
"I want a guy workin'
here by the name of
      Murphy."

26
"Do you think you
could play my part
    tonight?"

27
"Sure! I know every part
in the show! I've seen it
   thirty-five times!"

28
"Why so distant,
    Trilby?"

29
"You and that society
blonde can't make a 
 fool out of me!"

30
"I have a millionaire who
gives me flowers! That's
more than you ever did!"

31
"You're lucky I even
 give you a smile!"

32
"How quiet and peaceful
the old plantation is."

33
"Get rid of that 
   epidemic!"

34
"Shoot him .... and the
audience will think it's
   part of the show!"

35
"Don't tempt me, stranger ...
never will I surrender to
      the North."

36
"Unhand that gal!"

37
"Corporal .... seize that
    Southern beauty!"

38
"Seize her, I said ....
or I'll report you
    to Grant!"

39
"Remember, gal ... there's
  only one way to save 
      him! Ha! Ha!"

40
"Did you see the guy
  I'm lookin' for?"

41
"I hope you don't take 
Lionel serious. He's
  an awful flirt."

42
"Well, there's going to be 
a lot of broken hearts.
We're announcing our 
engagement tonight."

43
"You like me, don't 
       you?"

44
"Will you marry me?"

45
"Yes, Ma'am."

46
"When?"

47
"Tonight!"

48
The Cafe La Boheme
catered to actors ....
and those who paid.

49
"Your girl friend doesn't
seem to be very happily
       married."

50
"Order some champagne."

51
"I'm going over and 
celebrate our marriage!"

52
Elmer soon learned that
supporting a woman in
a fit of jealousy is all
    in a wifetime.

53
"Don't you think you've 
had enough exercise, 
       dear?"

54
The dawn of a spite
     marriage.

55
"- don't you realize? If
the papers find out you
married a cheap little
 pants presser, your
 career is ruined!"

56
"- as I am your manager,
I'll handle this affair,
      gracefully."

57
"Your wife has left you."

58
"She wants you to go 
away so she can get a
divorce on the grounds
    of desertion."

59
"You see, my dear fellow,
it's me that your wife's 
in love with. She only
married you for spite."

60
"Pardon me. This 
taxi's too noisy!"

61
"Drive off the end of 
     the pier!"

62
"Fish that guy out of
  the water! He saw
    me do a job!"

63
"Looks like a revenue
  cutter! Douse the
      lights!"

64
"This is a private yacht.
I can't take you back 
      to port."

65
"Good!"

66
"Varnish that mast!"

67
"- you should have known
that woman meant nothing 
to me, dear. It's you I love."

68
"You've varnished every-
thing on the ship but 
     that mast!"

69
"Can't I work down-
stairs? The air makes 
    me sea-sick!"

70
Midnight .... on the
    high seas.

71
"Watch that indicator
  till I get back!"

72
"How dare you interrupt
an officers' meeting!"

73
"Sit down! Whatever 
you have to say can 
      wait!"

74
"Now, my good man,
what's on your mind?"

75
"Nothing, sir .... only the
engine room's on fire
and the boiler's liable
to blow up any second."

76
"Stand by to abandon
        ship!"

77
"Save me, dear!
   Save me!"

78
"What are you doing 
       here?"

79
A squall.

80
"Don't ask questions!
I've got to change the 
       sails!"

81
"Go away! We don't
    want any."

82
"What are you doin'
       here?"

83
"They all deserted but 
   me. Somebody had 
to stay and steer the
        ship."

84
"Load the stuff on 
    this boat!"

85
"I'll have it runnin' in
a moment ... if nothin'
       happens."

86
"Are you sure you've 
   got it fixed?"

87
"Oh, Elmer, Elmer!
 You're wounded!"

88
"A scratch is nothing to
a Southern gentleman!"

89
"Good-bye! I'm awful 
glad to have seen 
    you again."

90
  You're going to see 
an awful lot of me from 
        now on!

The End