1 New York, where every- body is in such a hurry that they take Saturday's bath on Friday so they can do Monday's washing on Sunday. 2 In an old-fashioned corner of the city -- a section that had never acquired the pace of the rest of New York. 3 "Ladies an' Gents: On your right is a vehicle that has defied the rush of civilizashun -- -- the last horse car in New York." 4 "The car is owned and driven by one of New York's and nature's noblemen -- Pop Dillon." 5 "Mr. Dillon, the officials of my railroad want to know if you've decided to accept their offer for your track." 6 "I told you what my price is -- -- an' I'm stickin' to it." 7 "If you don't take this offer, the chances are you'll get nothing!" 8 "Well, I ain't got nothin', so if I don't get nothin' -- I won't have nothin' less than I've got." 9 Jane Dillon, in love with life, her grand-daddy -- and somebody else. 10 "Well, Grand-daddy, they can't keep Speedy down -- -- he's got another new job." 11 "Speedy gets plenty of jobs -- but he'll never keep one while his mind is full of baseball." 12 "He'll keep this one. He said he'll own the place in six months." 13 Far away from the quiet of Pop Dillon's neighbor- hood, roaring fans were cheering the Yankees on in a crucial game. 14 The only thing Speedy required of his employers was that their store be within phoning distance of the Yankee Stadium. 15 "An orangeade, please." 16 "Have these delivered to my wife right away. I've got to square myself for being out all night." 17 "Get your hat and coat." 18 "Have these flowers at the boss's house in twenty minutes -- or don't come back." 19 "Well, Speedy -- how's the new job coming along?" 20 "Oh, I got out of that job all right. I didn't have any trouble." 21 "Big men don't keep jobs like that. You never heard of Lincoln jerking soda water." 22 "I wish I could get rid of my rheumatics like you do your jobs." 23 "Rub my neck, will you, Speedy?" 24 "Aw, Jane -- why worry about losing a job on Saturday, when we can go to Coney Island on Sunday?" 25 "Besides, you know I always get a job on Monday." 26 "Mr. Dillon, it seems my agent was unsuccessful in dealing with you -- so I've come for your rock-bottom price." 27 "Why, this price is ridiculous for an old contraption like yours!" 28 "That's the price I'm going to get -- an' it ain't a contraption -- it's a horse car." 29 "Dillon, if you won't sell out -- -- perhaps there are ways I can force you out!" 30 "He can't force you out, can he, Pop?" 31 "The folks at the City Hall said that as long as my car runs once every twenty-four hours, the car an' track is mine." 32 When a boy loses his job, buys a new suit and takes a girl to Coney Island, he's either insane or in love -- -- and there's not much difference. 33 "The next stop is Forty-second street, isn't it?" 34 "Say, what's the idea? I just bought this suit!" 35 "You thief! It's men like you that make women afraid to wear underwear." 36 "Hey, Jimmie!" 37 "Say, Jimmie, I'm broke. Will you give us a lift back to the city?" 38 "Say, I'll bet there's enough furniture here for a cozy little home." 39 "Come on, Jane, what do you say we get married -- and let Pop live with us?" 40 "Speedy, I couldn't think of getting married -- -- till grand-daddy's affairs are settled." 41 "Leave it to me, Jane -- I'll get a job in the morning and help you out till Pop gets what he wants." 42 "Stick right on the job -- and be courteous to the customers." 43 "Say, after a customer rides in my cab, he'll never ride in another." 44 The hours went by -- and so did Speedy's customers. 45 "Why don't you keep the door and get a new car?" 46 "Go on home before yuh see an elephant pushin' a baby carriage!" 47 "Pennsylvania Station -- and step on it!" 48 "Where's my fare?" 49 "I had to go fast -- -- I had detectives in back." 50 "If you try it again, you'll have stripes in front!" 51 "We missed our man! Drive us to the Municipal Ferry as fast as you can!" 52 "We'll fix that. While we're with you, there's no speed limit!" 53 "Say, you crazy nut -- -- where did you learn to drive?" 54 "I didn't. It's a gift." 55 "If you get tough with me, I'll run you in right now!" 56 "I can't be bothered -- tell the guys inside." 57 "Arrest this man! He almost killed me in the back seat!" 58 "One more ticket and you go to jail." 59 Babe Ruth, the idol of American boys -- little and big. 60 "Hey, taxi!" 61 "Drive me to the Yankee Stadium -- in a hurry!" 62 "Gee, Babe, you've done more for base- ball than cheese did for Switzerland." 63 "Gosh, Babe -- this is the proudest moment of my life!" 64 "If you don't look out, it'll be the last." 65 "Even when you strike out, you miss 'em close." 66 "I don't miss 'em half as close as you do." 67 "Step on it -- or you'll have me late!" 68 "If I ever want to commit suicide I'll call you." 69 "Want to see the game?" 70 "I'll be back as soon as I park my cab." 71 "Attaboy, Babe!" 72 "So this is the way you drive my cab!" 73 "Give me the hat, the money, and everything connected with the job." 74 "You said you wanted everything -- -- you got it." 75 "Carter, I've investigated Dillon's affairs -- and I've discovered a way to force him out." 76 "If the car doesn't run once in twenty-four hours, Dillon will lose his railroad." 77 "You send a gang down to start a fight on the car and get rid of the old man in the mix-up." 78 "Then drive the car away and get rid of it!" 79 "What's the matter, Speedy -- are you sick?" 80 "I'm all right, Pop -- but how about you?" 81 "Pop, you're a sick man -- you need a vacation." 82 "Why don't you take a rest for a few days -- and let me drive the car?" 83 At night, Pop's car was used as a clubhouse by the old tradesmen of the neighborhood. 84 "What's the trouble now?" 85 "There's something crooked. I got three aces an' he's got four." 86 "Speedy, now that you're drivin' the car, you must have it here on time for our games." 87 "I'm not so sure that you'll have the car to play in very long." 88 "I got a tip that there's a tough gang coming down to take Pop's car." 89 "Boys, if anybody tries to take this car, we ought to have somethin' to say about it!" 90 "Us boys fought in the Civil War an' our old password was -- -- it smells like rain." 91 "If you get in trouble, pass the word 'It smells like rain'; Jed'll blow his bugle -- an' we'll all be there." 92 "In twenty years, I ain't fought with nobody but my wife -- an' I'm right on edge!" 93 The next morning found Speedy driving the car -- conscious that at any moment he might be unconscious. 94 "Catch that man! He got away with our pay roll!" 95 "It smells like rain." 96 "It smells like rain." 97 "IT SMELLS LIKE RAIN!" 98 "It smells very much like rain!" 99 The casualties of the fight were eight broken noses, a splintered wooden leg, a cracked glass eye and a sprained wishbone. 100 The next morning the sun was almost afraid to come out -- because it could still see stars. 101 "Pop, the car's been stolen -- and it hasn't run in twenty-two hours!" 102 "We've got to find it and bring it back by ten o'clock -- or your railroad's gone!" 103 An hour later -- miles away on the other side of the city. 104 "Mad dog! Mad dog!" 105 "Is Speedy back, yet?" 106 "The kid's got the car an' he's drivin' across town! Have the gang stop him!" 107 "If he gets by me, you guys wreck him before he hits Dillon's track!" 108 "Here he comes! Stick right beside me and he'll have to stop!" 109 "We'll wreck him here! Tear up the planks!" 110 "Mr. Dillon, I thought things over -- and I've decided to meet your price." 111 "Did you hear what he said, Speedy?" 112 "Pop's slightly deaf and he can't hear a word you say -- -- till you get up to a hundred thousand. 113 "I'll bring you a check in the morning." 114 "Jane, what do you say we take the horse car -- -- and drive to Niagara Falls?" THE ENDHome