Seven Years Bad Luck
[reconstructed titles]
1
Max forever buries his
bachelor life.
2
"Whomever lives here has no taste
at all --- the window would be
better on this side ---"
3
"-- and the closet, there --"
4
"Amazing -- when I open the
window I smell mothballs --"
5
The morning after. The servants
start their usual routine.
6
"It's nothing, sir. Mary dropped
her napkin."
7
"Please come at once to replace a
large mirror at Max Linder's
home."
8
"Enough is enough, John. Please
bring my shaving things."
9
"John, do you see what I see?"
10
"Perfectly, sir. You're watching
yourself in the mirror, but you look
under the weather from last night."
11
"I wouldn't have recognized
myself."
13
"John, I need decent shaving
cream."
14
"Max dear, my school friends are
giving a party for us -- pick me up,
and we'll go together.
15
"I hope you don't see this as a sign
of seven years bad luck, Sir!"
16
"You'd better be careful getting
about today, Sir."
17
"I'll go by horseback. Call
for my horse."
18
"On second thought, I'll walk."
19
"You think you can just hop on
any eye-catching car?"
20
"Yes, I'll wait. Say, aren't
you a psychic?"
21
"Yes. If you wish, I can predict
your future."
22
"I see a dog threatening your
happiness."
23
"Why do you keep pursuing me?
You know I'm engaged to your
best friend Max!"
24
"My friends' reception will be
wonderful. Let's go have fun!"
25
"Where is my little Frizotto?"
26
"It's all over with Max. Frizotto
declares eternal enmity."
27
"You're right about seven years
bad luck. Pack my things!"
28
"Come on back, Max dear. My
daughter has calmed down."
29
"I'm not leaving after all. Unpack
my things."
30
"-- See if the dog's still there --"
31
"It was all a silly mistake, dear.
Console Max, mend his broken
heart."
32
"You've turned mother's house
into a dance hall. I'm returning
your ring!"
33
"I've had a fight with Betty. Can
you help smooth things over?"
34
"That mirror keeps bringing bad
luck. Repack my suitcase."
35
"Max told me to come see you --"
36
"-- He's leaving -- he said he'd be
happier marrying one of his old
girlfriends."
37
"Oh! The ingrate! How shall
I get even?"
38
"It would be so simple
-- marry me!"
39
"All right! That's that! Come back
tomorrow morning!"
40
"Out of a hundred million men,
I had to break the mirror!"
41
"I don't have any money. You'll
have to keep the tickets."
42
"And your ticket? You look
older than five!"
43
"I bet the station-master that I
could get in without a ticket
-- help me win!"
44
"A bird got on the train without
paying. Keep your eyes open!"
45
"I'm going to town. Fill in
while I'm away."
46
"Useless to hide in there! I've
seen you! Open up!"
47
"I'll wait all night if I have to!"
48
"Why are you screaming? Have
you seen a masked bandit?"
49
"Call the station master!"
50
"That's papa, but he's not here."
51
"He will lose his job for
leaving his post."
52
"Oh, so you are here!"
53
"So it seems."
54
"How nice you were to come back
so quickly! Hug me!"
55
"Don't say anything! Think of
your father's job!"
56
"Hello! I'm calling to tell you that
train 11 is fourteen minutes late."
57
"Why bother me? I can't make
it go any faster!"
58
"Please give me a ticket
to New Orleans."
59
"Take them all! Take your choice!"
60
"And it's free, honey child!"
61
"I'd also like to send this box
for the same price."
62
"What color label would you like?
Sky blue or canary yellow?"
63
"Where did you come from?!"
64
"Stop the impostor on train number
11. He's small, brown hair, with a
toothbrush moustache."
65
"Don't be afraid! I won't eat you!"
66
"You're very nice, but you're
becoming a little too familiar."
67
"Come on in. Make yourselves
at home!"
68
"I have an idea -- let me try it!"
69
A gentleman with a few
"guests" who won't leave.
70
"Scratch my back!"
71
And as he dreamed, Max scratched
and scratched --
72
Betty is ready to wed Max's rival.
73
"His Honor is in Court."
74
"We've come to get married."
75
Seven years later.
THE END
Seven Years Bad Luck
[titles from another version]
1
Max ... a playboy having
the time of his life.
2
And that's how it all began
3
"Isn't this peculiar ...
Someone has rearranged
my house. The window
ought to be over here ....
4
... and the closet over
there."
5
"Open the window of
this place and all you
smell are gasoline fumes.
The times are really out
of joint."
6
In the morning, Max's
household staff begins
its usual work routine.
7
"It's nothing, sir. .....
Eunice just dropped her ...
... er .... napkin holder."
8
"Please come over immed-
iately to replace a broken
mirror in Max Linder's
house!"
9
"You can't spend the en-
tire day polishing the mir-
ror! Please get done so I
can get shaved."
10
"James, do you see what
I see?"
11
"Certainly, sir, ...
You're looking at yourself,
but you have changed a
lot since last night!"
12
"Must have. I can hardly
recognize myself!"
13
"Just a little harder and
I'd have cracked the glass."
14
"More shaving cream, James.
I'm all out already."
15
"Max dear, some of my
school friends have planned
a little party in honor of
our engagement. I'd like to
go, if you'll come over to
pick me up."
16
"I'll be right there dear,
just as soon as I take care
of a quick little trifle."
17
"If you're superstitious,
sir, you ought to know that
this means the start of seven
years of bad luck!"
18
"It must mean that I'm go-
ing to be married for seven
years!"
19
"It's a bad sign, sir. I
think you ought to go to
the country until your
wedding."
20
Pressed and dressed, Max
leaves to pick up his fianc�.
21
"I'm going on horseback.
Call the stables and have
a horse sent over!"
22
"On second thought, I be-
lieve I'll walk."
23
"You have some nerve,
cluttering up the bumper
of my beautiful car!"
24
"I'm going on ahead. Tell
Max to go over when he
gets here."
25
"Would it be too much
trouble for you to bring
my horoscope?"
26
"Not at all, but I can
just read your palm instead,
if you wish."
27
"From your palm lines, I
can see that you weren't
killed in the war ..."
28
"... but you'd better stay
away from animals. You
will die from the bite of
a mad dog."
29
"What's the point in pur-
suing me? You know very
well that I'm engaged to
your best friend, Max."
30
"My friends are planning a
really marvelous time. We
are going to love it."
31
"Where's my little Fritzie?"
32
"Max and I are through.
He and Fritzie just can't
get along with each other."
33
"You were right about those
seven years of bad luck ...
they've already begun."
34
"Come back please, Max
dear. I've got my daughter
calmed down."
35
"I'm not worrying any
more .... bad luck be
hanged!"
36
"Mind if I just play a
song?"
37
"See if the dog is still
mad."
38
"Go console poor Max, my
dear. He must be awfully up-
set by this little squabble."
39
"Come on! Let's dance to
that!"
40
"You've turned my mother's
house into a cabaret. Take
back your ring!"
41
"You wearing some new style
of headdress?"
42
"I've had a fight with Betty.
It's all over between us now."
43
"That broken mirror is still
bringing me bad luck. Pack
my suitcase again!"
44
"Max asked me to come here
and see you."
45
"Things seem hopeless with
your marriage to one of my
oldest friends."
46
"Oh, that ingrate! What am
I going to do?"
47
"Very simple ... marry me!"
48
"I'll do it ... come back to-
morrow morning!"
49
"Thanks ... I feel much better
now."
50
"Out of a hundred million
men, I have to be the one
to break a mirror!"
51
"My money seems to be gone.
You'd better keep the ticket."
52
"And your ticket? You're
older than five ..!"
53
"I have a bet on with the
conductor that I can get
past him without a ticket.
Would you help me win?"
54
"There's a pigeon on this train
who hasn't paid his fare. Keep
your eyes peeled."
55
"If I find him, he'll become
pigeon pot pie!"
56
"I have to go to town.
Take over while I'm
gone."
57
"You can't hide from me in
there! I saw you! Open up!"
58
"Take as long as you
like I'll still be out
here waiting for you!"
59
"What inspired that? Have
you seen a masked bandit?"
60
"Call the station master."
61
"That's father.
But he's not here!"
62
"Very well ... I'll signal
ahead and he'll be fired for
leaving his post."
63
"Well, so you're here!"
64
"Apparently."
65
"You didn't tell anyone my
father was absent?"
66
"Of course not. He's there."
67
"Daddy, I'm so glad you got
back so quickly. Kiss me."
68
"Quiet .... say nothing and
I'll cover up for your father."
69
"Votre pere va
peut-etre pouvoir
me dire ou est
passe mon loustie!"
70
"Hello? Train number 11 is
running twenty minutes late."
71
"What do you want me to do
about it? Make it go faster?"
72
"Honey, give me a ticket for
New Orleans."
73
"There you are, you sweet
young thing. Take your
choice ... here's the whole
assortment."
74
"Honey, how about my
baggage for the same
price?"
75
"What color label would
you like? We have canary
yellow and sky blue."
76
"Eh, bien, dites donc,
ne vous genez pas!"
77
Max is a little too attached
to the station master's young
daughter.
78
"Ah, so. Where are you
going?"
79
"Arrest a man who is on
train number 11. He's
small and dark, with a
mustache and buck teeth."
80
"Don't be afraid. I won't
eat you!"
81
"We must keep our heads!"
82
"We must use strategy in
entering this cage."
83
"You're awfully nice, but
you're becoming a little
too familiar."
84
"Profitons de ce qu'il on
la dos tourne!"
85
"Please come in ... make
yourselves at home."
86
"I have an idea. Let me
go it alone."
87
His cellmates are having
some difficulties with some
of the local inhabitants.
88
"Scratch my back!"
89
And now, while Max
scratches on, we're carried
into the land of dreams.
90
Ready to reap the fruit of
his treachery, Max's rival
prepares for the ceremony.
91
"Sorry sir, the Justice is in
court."
92
"We wish to be married."
93
"This man has stolen my
fiance, my most precious
jewel."
94
Seven years later .....
95
The healing powers of Time
have patched the broken
pieces of mirror, which now
reflect an unending chain
of good luck.
FIN
Home