The Red Mill
1
A summer on Holland's
canals leaves a
marked impression...but
a fall on its ice leaves
a scar.
2
Tina, drudge of the
Red Mill Tavern, had
been "in Dutch" since
birth.
... Marion Davies
3
WORK!
A trip over a door
sill would have been
a vacation for Tina.
4
"Come here, Ignatz!"
5
"You're my only friend,
Ignatz...don't ever get
married and leave me."
6
WILLEM, the Tavern
proprietor was a
kind man... the mean
kind.
... George Seigman
7
"Twice this month I've
caught you sitting down,
you lazy good-for-
nothing!"
8
"I won't have a mouse
eating up all my profits!"
9
"Please don't! I'll pay
his board out of my
wages!"
10
"Such nonsense comes
from not having enough
work!"
11
"I'm too good...always
helping you do more
work! Here's a new
ironing board!"
12
"They should have sent
a book of destructions!"
13
It wasn't the dams but
the damsels that had
attracted Dennis Wheat
to Holland.
... Owen Moore
14
Caesar Rinkle
-- His valet --
... Snitz Edwards
15
"You have nobody to
skate with...and so
have I."
16
"I'd be crazy to skate
with you...but I know
Caesar will be crazier."
17
"Come on! Up the canal
we'll skate together
down."
18
"Good! I'll skate up and
you skate down!"
19
"Careful! Don't tickle
me on the curves."
20
"I hope you're all going
in the skating race.
I'm to judge it....and
kiss the winner."
21
"Maybe from the Inn
I can bring you a
light out."
22
"What good is a light
out? I've got a lighter
out already."
23
"My name's Tina."
24
"Mine's Wheat! Wheat-
Tina! We ought to get
together for breakfast!"
25
"I'll bet you've skated
home from many an
ice boat ride."
26
"Don't let me keep
you up."
27
"Why didn't you tell me
you were going into a
tail spin?"
28
"The trouble with you
is .... you don't wear
your skates in the right
place."
29
"I've got to go! They're
starting the race!"
30
"You're certainly keeping
a stiff upper lip."
31
"I won! From you I get
a kiss ... no?"
32
"As soon as I get an
ice-pick I'll kiss you."
33
Tina had been kissed
but twice in her
life .... once on her
cheek and once on her
Sunday School picnic.
34
"From you isn't there
something coming
to me?"
35
Then Spring came ....
pushing the ice out
of the canals and up
into the ice-boxes.
36
And in Spring all
Holland's she-s lightly
turn to thoughts of
he-s.
37
"It would be better if
you had your tail on
the other end!"
38
"Who wants a drink
of milk?"
39
"He's taking Hans to
the Haunted Mill!"
40
"May the devil and
ghosts come and get
you...you Spitzboop!"
41
"Get Tina! She'll save
Hans!"
42
"Grab her by the
bucket!"
43
"Willem locked Hans in
the Haunted Mill! The
ghosts will eat him up!"
44
"Help! The devil's got
hold of my tail!"
45
"Help! Momma! Poppa!
Peter! Jacop! Herman!
Uncle LOOO-OO-O-IE!!!"
46
"Ghosts don't scare me...
otherwise I'd go!"
47
Two things brought
Dennis back to
Holland....a train and
a boat.
48
"You'll like Holland now.
In winter it's much
better in summer."
49
"So cute you look ...
just like my little
dachshund."
50
"So the Burgomaster's
daughter has the rooms
across the court? Is
she married?"
51
"She is ... but she ain't.
Her father is making her
marry the Governor,
and I am helping."
52
"That's Gretchen! The Burgo-
master is keeping her locked
up until comes her wedding
day .... the little trouble-
maker!"
53
"She's got a beautiful
chassis!"
54
"Never mind the chassis!
Wait till you see what
she's got under the
hood!"
55
The Burgomaster's
daughter loved Capt.
Jacop Van Goop .....
which proves love is
blind in Holland.
... Karl Dane
56
"Will you take this note
to Gretchen for me?"
57
"Jacop, I know just how
poor Gretchen feels.
Once I was in love, too."
58
"Dennis was crazy over
me. When we skated
together side-by-each
he got all upset."
59
"I'll never forget how
he begged me to
kiss him."
60
"It was so sad. The day
he left he cried all
over his departure."
61
"Dennis used to love me
just like Jacop loves
you ... only worse."
62
"Nobody could love
anybody so worse as
I love Jacop."
63
"We'll change clothes ...
then when I sneak out
to meet Jacop it will
be you!"
64
"Sure you can do it!
Anybody could do any-
thing that I could
think of!"
65
"What a nice pen-wiper
you'd make."
66
"If you stood on your
head you'd look like an
artichoke."
67
"It's easier to peel an
onion!"
68
"Maybe that will keep
you from sitting down
so much!"
69
"Jacop, I'm a lucky girl
to be loved by such a
handsome man as you."
70
"My little glow-worm!"
71
"It's my Dennis!"
72
"What was it...a piano?"
73
"Caesar....at last you've
used your head."
74
"May I come over?"
75
"If you won't come
closer to me ... then
I'll come closer to you."
76
"I'd like to shake the
hand of the mother
who raised a beautiful
thing like you."
77
"I must have been blind
when I was here last
winter....not to have
met you."
78
"You're like a beautiful
ray of sunshine stand-
ing there sunburning
me."
79
"I never believed in love
at first sight until I
took a second look at
you."
80
"I knew I could kiss ....
but not that good."
81
"Just as my Jacop was
beginning to commence
a mouse jumped in
my shoe!"
82
"Drink to the Burgomaster ...
and to the marriage of his
daughter, Gretchen!"
83
"The day Gretchen marries
she will get her Grand-
father's estate of a million
guilders!"
84
"I've just heard that the
Burgomaster's daughter
is worth a million!"
85
"Even if she had twenty
million, I'd still love her!"
86
"And she's the most
beautiful girl in the
world, too!"
87
"If she's the most
beautiful girl in the
world....it's a helluva
world!"
88
"My little Jacop....
I've dislocated him
somewhere."
89
"Maybe you're looking
where he ain't. I'll look
where he is."
90
"She has the sweetest
face I've ever seen!
My little Juliet!"
91
"She might have had a
sweet face once....but
it's all curdled now!"
92
"With a face like that
she needs a million!"
93
"Her lips are as sweet as
virgin cherries that follow
springtime blossoms!"
94
"The stars are dimmed
when my Gretchen's
eyes twinkle."
95
"How she could kiss!
I could tell her lips from
all others in the world!"
96
"BABY!"
97
"POPPA!"
98
"Take a look at your
Juliet now!"
99
"I'll ruin that Romeo!
Give me something to
knock him over with!"
100
"Always something
happens just when
my little Jacop begins
to commence."
101
"I'm through! There's
too much traffic on
your ladder!"
102
"Don't be mad, Dennis.
He's only a relative of
mine."
103
"It's you I love....only
you."
104
"Not now! Tomorrow
night!"
105
"Caesar, you'd better
learn to walk with
a bouquet. I think
you're going to be a
bridesmaid."
106
The next morning arrived ...
everybody was too busy
to stop it.
107
"Start the wedding break-
fast! The Burgomaster
orders Gretchen to marry
the Governor immediately!"
108
"There goes the last
chance for my boss."
109
"Well...he owes so many
bills, and Gretchen was
so rich."
110
"Do you mean he was going
to marry Gretchen only for
her money?"
111
"Say, when a girl's as homely
as Gretchen, Cupid can't
shoot arrows....he's got to
throw pocketbooks!"
112
"OOo! If only I could
call you in English
what I'm thinking in
Dutch!"
113
"You'll do as I say! In
half an hour you'll
be the wife of the
Governor!"
114
"Oh, Tina....please
save me!"
115
"Our instructions are
that you take the bride
in your boat...so you'd
better have this for her
protection."
116
"Say....her face is her
protection!"
117
"All right! Remember,
I'm to follow you in a
separate boat."
118
"Go on, Ignatz...act like
a mouse."
119
"Help! Police! Murder!
Fire...MICE!!"
120
"Wake up, Gretchen!
We'll get you to Jacop's
boat."
121
"The bride has been
stolen!"
122
"There's your little
Juliet!"
123
"You must be twins!
No one man could
be so dumb!"
124
"What a fine groom
you are!"
125
"We've lost all trace of
your daughter .... but
we're still on her trail!"
126
"Ten thousand guilders
for information that will
lead to her return."
127
"What have you done
with Gretchen?"
128
"I won't tell you!"
129
"Keep after Tina ... and
that Irisher!"
130
"I'm going to lock you
in the Haunted Mill!"
131
"I'll make you loosen
your tongue!"
132
"You go one way and
I'll go the other."
133
"I'm shot in the shoulder!"
134
"Your shoulder looks
all right to me."
135
"Maybe it was the other
shoulder."
136
"-- and I'm going to
take you back with me
and make you an Irish
Princess."
137
"Now .... probably by
next year I'll have to
be a nurse girl!"
The End
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