A Modern Musketeer

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DOUGLAS FAIRBANKS


      A
    MODERN
   MUSKETEER

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Photoplay by Allan Dwan


     Based upon
     D'ARTAGNAN 
     OF KANSAS
        by
   E. P. Lyle, Jr.

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Directed by Allan Dwan


    Photography
         by
    Hugh McClung
        and
    Harry Thorpe

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     Released through
Artcraft Pictures Corporation.

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   Do you remember D'Artagnan of 
France? Can you recall the thrills
you got from the adventures of that
famous swash-buckling gallant of
three centuries ago?

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The advent of a strange lady.

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"Your handkerchief, Madam."

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  Has D'Artagnan gone forever?--
Maybe not. Perhaps it is his spirit
that actuates Ned Thacker of Kansas.

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   A lady in distress was a fly in 
Ned's ointment--and his ointment
was usually full of flies.

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   "Listen son--you've got the
wrong idea. Women want equal 
rights. If you want their love, give
them equal lefts too."

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"Did that big brute hurt
  mama's little Spikie?"

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   There may be a scientific reason 
for Ned's chivalry. Let's go back
to shortly before his birth.

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Kansas must have had a 
 hunch he was coming.

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   Mrs. Thacker heeded not the
elements. She was praying that
the little soul to come might be 
a boy.

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   "If the house holds together,
you may have an heir to-
morrow."

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   "You've been reading this sort of
thing for six months--what do you
expect your child to be like?"

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   "If I am blessed with a 
son, I pray he may be like
D'Artagnan."

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         2 + 2 = 4
Cyclone + D'Artagnan = Speed!!!

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 Mrs. Thacker's wish came true. Ned
 grew up - like D'Artagnan - always
chivalrous - always misunderstood. He
 finished four years of college in 
      six months - by request.

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Once on a street car -

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"Would you mind giving your 
 seat to a couple of ladies?"

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   The stout party happened to be
the Chief of Police and this bit of
chivalry cost Ned four days in
"stoney lonesome".

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   On another day--in a
gentlemen's club, after a
fashionable wedding--

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   Elsie Dodge was a sweet,
unspoiled Park Avenue
flapper.

ELSIE - - - MARJORIE DAY

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   Mrs. Dodge, struggling under a 
mountain of unpaid bills and shattered
hopes, desperately looked upon Elsie
as the last chance to fulfill her 
extravagant ambitions.

MRS. DODGE - KATHLEEN KIRKHAM

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 It was the habit of Forrest
Vandeteer to purchase anything
   he desired - and now he 
         wanted Elsie.

FORREST VANDETEER - EUGENE ORMONDE

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"I don't want to see him.
   I don't like him."

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   "You must see him. We
can't continue this pretense
and sham forever."

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"I want you to join me on a
trans-continental auto tour."

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   "It is so generous of you 
to include us. Elsie will be
delighted."

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   Kansas was getting on Ned's 
nerves--and Ned was getting on 
Kansas' nerves. It was almost 
time for them to part.

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   One Sunday--when even
the wind had lost its usual
"pep".

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Mrs. Thacker was thrilling Ned
 with the often read tales of
         D'Artagnan.

MRS. THACKER - - EDYTHE CHAPMAN

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"I can't stand it. - I've got
    to get out of Kansas!"

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"Alright, you Cyclone! - But,
  get out before you wreck 
         the house."

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"You've done this to him--
  with that Tommy rot."

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"I'm glad. He will always be 
          a boy."

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"Holy cats! I've got 'em again!"

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   Like D'Artagnan of old--whose
father gave him a yellow steed on
his departure for adventure--

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"For soothe, 'tis a nobby steed."

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So Ned set forth with a yellow
"Steed" - the gift of his father.

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The Vandeteer party encounter
  an impassable wash-out on 
         the desert.

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"It is impossible to proceed,
         Monsieur."

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"Can I be of any service to
          you?"

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"Hardly--with that?"

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   "My good man--would
you care to sell a portion of 
your food?"

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"Hardly--to you."

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"I'm hungry."

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A man from the land of 
     D'Artagnan!

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   "With such wit, the 
Yankees will make short 
work of the Boche."

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   After Fording the desert,
they reach the vicinity of El 
Tovar.

	Note:--Please pardon the pun.

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"Are you married?"

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"No. Are you?"

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"Do you speak Mule?"

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"Hee-haw!"

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"I beg your pardon madam -
 would you mind moving?"

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At El Tovar Hotel -
  Grand Canyon.

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"I'll see you at the hotel?"

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"If you have eyes!"

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"I thank you."

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"I thank you."

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"Well Oscar--how did you 
  like the poison gas?"

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   "Ah, Monsieur, vous etes l'homme
le plus merveilleux que je connaisse
et, je ne puis resister le desir de vous
embrasser sur les joues!!!!"

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   "Your services are appreciated
my good fellow. Of course, this
does not give you the privilege
of further acquaintance with the 
ladies."

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"Do you know who he is?"

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"He's Forrest Vandeteer, the
  richest man in Yonkers."

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"Who's the girl?"

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   "His latest victim I guess.
He's got three wives hidden
away now."

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   In a tributary canyon, where
untold centuries ago a tribe of cliff
dwellers had made its home.

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   Chin-de-dah ruled supreme. The
place was his by right of heritage
and by right of might.

CHIN-DE-DAH - - FRANK CAMPEAU

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None of his motley, law-hunted
  court of outcasts dare
        oppose him.

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James Brown of New York
     - fugitive.

JAMES BROWN - TULLY MARSHALL

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"This place is lonely--I must 
      get me a woman."

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"You mean a squaw."

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"I mean a white woman."

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   "What kind of a white 
woman would come here 
with you?"

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 "The one I choose to bring -
pretty ones come to El Tovar."

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"Some white man 'll cut your
         heart out."

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"No man can harm Chin-de-
     dah--I am King."

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The guarded entrance to the
canyon where death awaits
      the intruder.

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After dinner at El Tovar.
    The Hopi Dance.

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"Please remember you are 
 Mr. Vandeteer's guest."

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"Golly--what a gully!"

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"It makes me feel so 
    unimportant."

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"You're in trouble--what 
        is it?"

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"With all this bigness, I guess
   my troubles don't matter."

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   "That is right. What was God's
purpose to so rend the earth under
this majestically fretted dome as to
horribly shake our dispositions with
thoughts far beyond the reach of our
souls?"

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"You have a nice speaking 
         voice."

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"That's the one I want!"

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"How!"

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"Scrambled."

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"If you want a special guide, 
      I will take you."

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"Oh, no you won't."

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Next morning Chin-de-dah is 
     hired by Barris.

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"I want to go away from the main road,
   where people don't usually go!"

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"Where are you going?"

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"Riding! And you?"

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"Riding!"

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A recognition.

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"This is my private party. You can find 
  the ordinary guide in the stable."

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"I'm not invited!"

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"Can I have a word, Madam!"

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"Will you really allow this monkey to
       marry your daughter?"

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"I beg your pardon!"

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"Sit down - and let me speak!"

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Ned's natural boyishness charms Mrs.
  Dodge - and brings back to her 
memories of her own sacrificed ideals.

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"Do you really want your only child to
sacrifice everything beautiful in life -
just to... Well, you know what I mean!"

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"You are a nice boy!"

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"Go after them, and bring her back!"

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"Who was the man with the young 
            lady?"

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"His name is Barris!"

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"I couldn't want a worse destiny for 
               him!"

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"What do you mean?"

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"Chin-de-dah will probably drop him in 
         the Colorado river!"

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"Chin-de-dah will not hurt the girl, he'll
   just marry her - Chin-de-dah style."

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"Don't go after them. Let Chin-de-dah
  rid the world of Forrest Barris!"

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"What kind of a man are you? A young
    woman in distress! Will you
   immediately help me save her!"

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 "You will not reach them before the
 canyon, and you cannot enter - even
with an entire regiment. The only way 
           is - from above."

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The look-out.

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"Chin-de-dah has gone to get a new
            woman!"

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"Do you remember what happened to 
         the last one?"

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Close to Chin-de-dah's camp...

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"Now we'll just take the elevator!"

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"We are having a party tonight,
    I am getting married!"

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"You're getting married? How amusing!
       May I see the bride?"

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"How dare you be so insolent?"

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"You buy what you want... me take
  what I want. And me want her!"

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"I'll have you arrested for this!"

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 "No-one arrest Chin-de-dah. Me put
you in Colorado river. Colorado river
don't say anything. Colorado river is
         very, very quiet...!"

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"Where you come from?"

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   "From Kansas, the home
of the really great cyclones!"

130
"Take the others out of here, while I 
       guard this scarecrow!"

131
"You can't hurt Chin-de-dah!"

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"I don't intend to hurt you, my friend.
 But this Browning might put a few 
           holes in you!"

133
"Aren't we cosy lying here!"

134
"Do you recognize me, Forrest Barris?"

135
"Don't you remember National City?
        I am James Brown!"

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"And now is the moment 
   when you pay up!"

137
  "You made the others think I was
behind that scam of yours. You took my
    wife and kids away from me!"

138
"Write what I tell you!"

139
"Now you're back in business!"

140
"I will get the guard away from the pass
       - you wait for the signal!"

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"I'll take this  - as a souvenir!"

142
"I will give you 100,000 Dollars if you
          can save my life!"

143
"Write it down, old man
 - so you don't forget!"

144
"If you try to cheat James Brown,
  I'll come and turn you into 
        powdered sugar!"

145
"I'll share the 100,000 Dollars
          with you!"

146
Ned learns that chivalry, like virtue,
       receives its reward.

THE END