Miss Lulu Bett

1
The greatest tragedy in 
  the world, because 
it is the most frequent,
is that of a human 
soul caught in the toils 
of the commonplace.

2
This happens in many
   a home where
family ties, which could
be bonds of love, have
become iron fetters 
of dependence.

3
If you want to
 know what kind
of family lives in
a house look at
the dining room.

4
The youngest member
   of the family,
Monona Deacon --

   MAY GIRACI.

5
The master of the
  house, Dentist and
Justice of the Peace
-- Dwight Deacon --

 THEODORE ROBERTS.

6
The wife -- Ina --

 MABEL VAN BUREN.

7
  "Oh, Dwightie, have I
kept you waiting?"

8
   "After twenty years of
being married to you,
my darling, I ought to be
used to waiting."

9
The elder daughter, who
 feels that "there is 
no place like home" --
to get away from.
    Diana Deacon --

   HELEN FERGUSON.

10
Because he is outside
 the family circle,
there is a glamour
about Bobby Larkin -

  TAYLOR GRAVES.

11
   "Oh, Bobby, sometimes
I just long to get away
from it all!"

12
The mother-in-law, who
  is allowed to
"make her home" with
Dwight Deacon.
   "Ma" Bett -

  ETHEL WALES.

13
 "Has the Queen of our
Household such pressing
business that she can't
be on time for supper?"

14
 "Another tantrim! Oh,
Dwightie, I wish you
weren't such a joker!"

15
  The family beast of
   burden, whose timid 
 soul has failed to break
  the bonds of family 
       servitude.
Ina's sister - Miss Lulu Bett

      LOIS WILSON.

16
 "I won't eat another bite 
in that man's house!"

17
 "There's the factory whistle
- I knew that clock was fast."

18
 "It's a trick to get more 
time out of their workmen."

19
 "What's this? Progeny
won't eat?"

20
 "Lulu, can't we fix up 
something dainty for her!"

21
"Milk toast?"

22
 "Hurry, Lulu - we're
going to the movies."

23
Thus Lulu's supper
   grows cold.

24
"Suitors?"

25
 "It was only a quarter -
and it looked so pretty."

26
 "Yet I give you a home because
you have no money to spend 
even for the necessities."

27
 "I know I'm not a charmer -
that I've got no suitors, but
I'm sick of Dwight's rubbing it
in all the time!"

28
 "Well, you got a home
here, ain't you?"

29
One day's work
  ends with
preparation for
the next.

30
The school teacher,
 Neil Cornish -

 MILTON SILLS.

31
"The folks ain't home."

32
 "I didn't come to see the 
folks - I came to see you."

33
 "The school board wants
you to cook for the festival.
Will you?"

34
 "Don't do it, Miss Lulu.
You've too much to do as 
it is."

35
One whom family
 ties could not
bind:
  Ninian Deacon --

CLARENCE BURTON.

36
"I'm Dwight's brother."

37
 "Just blew in from South
America. Folks haven't
seen me for twenty years -
thought I'd give 'em a chance
to look me over."

38
 "I tell you after twenty
years all over the globe,
there ain't no place like 
home!"

39
"I'm Lulu Bett, Ina's sister."

40
 "Is it Miss Lulu Bett,
or Mrs.?"

41
"Miss."

42
"From choice."

43
 "What kind of a Mister
are you - a Miss Mister,
or a Mrs. Mister?"

44
 "That's right -- a man's
name don't tell you if
he's married, does it?"

45
 "Say, your foot could 
never fill that!"

46
The traveller is
 proudly exhibited
to the neighbors, and
shows them curios
from many lands.

47
 "Yes, sir, I've been all over
the world and I tell you
there ain't no education like
travellin'."

48
 "But where's Miss Lulu
all this time?"

49
"Cooking?"

50
 "They make a regular slave
of you. Why don't you sit in
with the rest of the family?"

51
 "You're the first person ever
noticed I wasn't there."

52
 "Don't you ever go 
anywhere?"

53
 "I tell you what - I'll give
a swell dinner in the city
and you're goin' to be there!"

54
 "It's years since I ate a 
thing I didn't cook myself."

55
 "Well, well; so it's our
irresistible Lulu who's
been detaining the guest 
of honor!"

56
 "I got this off a lion I 
fought in South America."

57
A family dinner
 remains a family
dinner, even though
it be a "swell one
in the city".

58
 "We're a lot of dead ones.
Come on, somebody, liven up
or they'll read the funeral 
service over us!"

59
 "Why not the wedding 
service? Here's a ring!"

60
 "I, Ninian, take thee,
Lulu, to be my wedded 
wife."

61
 "Lulu hasn't the nerve to 
say it -- that's why she's
refused all her numerous 
suitors!"

62
 "I, Lulu, take thee, Ninian, 
to be my wedded husband."

63
"You will?"

64
 "Say, we forgot I'm a
Justice of the Peace!"

65
 "That was a regular civil
wedding -- and it's binding 
in this State."

66
 "It can't be legal if we 
didn't mean it."

67
 "I know a man here in town
who'll tell me if there's any 
way out. I'll get him on the 
wire."

68
 "I'm a good sport - why
can't we let it stand?"

69
"You really mean it?"

70
 "It's legal, all right. You're
Lulu's husband as tight as 
though she really caught you."

71
 "She has caught me --
and we're going to let the 
marriage stand, ain't we, 
Lulu?"

72
For a whole week
 Lulu knows the
joy of having some-
one treat her kindly -
someone of her very 
own.

73
"Packing?"

74
 "You're so good to me
- I know I'll learn to love 
you."

75
 "You know just what a 
woman likes, Ninian. It's 
funny you never married 
before."

76
 "I was married - fifteen
years ago."

77
"When did she die?"

78
"I - don't - know."

79
 "She ran away two years 
after our marriage - maybe 
she's dead."

80
 "Then maybe - we're not 
married - after all?"

81
 "But maybe we are. Won't
you take the chance and
go on?"

82
 "Then what will you do?
Where will you go?"

83
"Home."

84
"Enough for your ticket."

85
If you want to know 
 what happens to 
a home when the 
housekeeper is away,
look at the kitchen.

86
"I certainly do miss Lulu."

87
 "Instead of missing Lulu
why don't you get some of
the work done?"

88
 "I guess you're forgettin'
I'm a guest in this house,
and have been for fifteen
years."

89
 "Keep your hands off
that piano."

90
 "I am keeping my hands 
off the piano."

91
 "Don't ask this pale little 
flower to help wash the 
dishes. She'll get her powder
wet."

92
 "She's got red routch
on, too!"

93
 "Why can't you stop picking 
on me? I hate it! I hate the 
whole family!"

94
"I should think she would."

95
 "I can't stand their teasing 
and scolding much longer. If 
you really love me, Bobby,
you'll take me away from it 
all."

96
 "This is a surprise! Is your
husband with you?"

97
 "No, my husband is -
isn't with me."

98
 "Don't tell me anything 
you don't want to - but I'd
like you to feel I'm your 
friend."

99
 "I can't stand it! You'll
have to get a servant to 
help me with the work."

100
 "I should think the two 
of you could do what poor 
little Lulu did alone!"

101
 "Ninian's gone north -
so I came back home."

102
 "I had to leave him -- he
had another wife - and he's 
not sure she's dead."

103
 "You mean to say
my brother's committed
bigamy!"

104
"Maybe."

105
 "Then - you've been living 
with a man that maybe you're 
not married to!"

106
 "That was the editor of the 
paper asking about Lulu. I 
said she was home on a visit."

107
 "But why didn't you tell
the truth? They'll have to
know sooner or later."

108
 "Tell them my brother's a 
bigamist? Why it would ruin 
the family!"

109
 "Yes, Lulu's husband went 
on a long trip and sent her 
home."

110
 "I won't let them think 
my husband didn't want
me."

111
 "You've got to keep quiet,
and protect my name from 
scandal!"

112
 "The only thing I've got 
left is my pride, and you've
got to let me keep that!"

113
 "You'd tell the truth and
disgrace all of us - Ina and
me and Di?"

114
 "The disgrace would ruin
Di's chances! Won't you
promise to keep quiet, Lulu?"

115
 "Thank goodness we'll get 
a decent cup of coffee again."

116
 Sunday -- and the
   text has been:
"Charity of heart is
 the greatest gift of
 God."

117
 "Her husband got tired of 
her and sent her home."

118
 "Courage, my sister, and 
strength will be given you
to bear your troubles."

119
 "If a feller leaves his bride
after one week, it don't say 
much for the bride."

120
 "Ain't it funny how men'll
always run after a woman 
who ain't regular?"

121
 "Bobby, wouldn't it be 
fun to elope?"

122
 "You're so wonderful, Bobby,
you'll be a great man -- and
I'll be such a help."

123
 "I just want you to know 
how sorry I am for the way
you've been treated."

124
 "He didn't leave me -
I left him - he wanted me
to stay."

125
 "Don't you want to tell 
me about it?"

126
 "Ma and Pa are going 
out to supper. Tonight's 
our chance."

127
 "I don't seem to mind so
much his having another
wife - it's just not being sure."

128
 "Why, she's lettin' him
make love to her - and us
waitin' for our dinner."

129
 "Lulu certainly has changed.
She's not the innocent girl she
used to be."

130
 "It's past our dinner time
- so you'd better stay and 
take pot luck with us."

131
 "I'm sorry I can't stay now
- but may I call tonight, Miss
Lulu?"

132
Washing dishes
 isn't so bad
-- sometimes.

133
 "How on earth do you
dry the inside of a glass?"

134
 "Were you really in love
with him?"

135
 "He was kind to me - and
I just couldn't stand living
here any longer."

136
 "And you don't know whether 
you're married or not?"

137
 "It's hard to see a way 
out, isn't it?"

138
 "Di's took your nice new
bag and gone off toward the
station!"

139
 "Two tickets! Whatcha 
doin', Bobby, elopin'?"

140
 "Bobby, you don't act a
bit as though you wanted 
to elope with me."

141
"Why, if it ain't Miss Lulu!"

142
"You can't do this, Di."

143
"Do you really love Bobby?"

144
 "I'd love anyone who'd take
me away from the family! You
ought to know."

145
 "Are you going to let
her stop us like this?"

146
 "I don't see how we 
can help it."

147
 "If that's the kind of a
coward you are, I don't
want to marry you!"

148
 "Well, you've got nothin'
on me!"

149
"Some lover!"

150
 "It don't pay to marry just
to get away - I know."

151
 "I can't go home and face 
the family. Papa will joke
about this - he'll never stop
joking about it!"

152
"He don't need to know."

153
"You won't tell, promise?"

154
"You won't tell on them?"

155
 "What's the matter, Bobby
- didn't it take?"

156
 "Don't tell anyone Di has
been out. Promise, Ma."

157
 "You'd better not stay -
I must talk to Di."

158
 "You've been awful 
kind to me."

159
 "It's easy to be kind 
- to you."

160
"If you were only free -"

161
"They're eloping!"

162
 "Haven't you disgraced 
the family enough?"

163
 "Where were you going 
with that man?"

164
 "Lulu wasn't goin'
any place."

165
 "You keep out of this!
I'm going to get the truth!"

166
 "Will you tell me what 
you were doing with that 
bag?"

167
 "I've given you the best 
of everything in my home!
I've overlooked your past -
and this is the thanks I get 
- you - !"

168
 "You're not fit to be under 
the same roof with my 
innocent children!"

169
"All right, I'll go."

170
 "But, Dwightie, if Lulu 
goes, who'll do the work?"

171
 "Oh, papa, let Aunt Lulu 
stay! She cooks lots better 
than mama."

172
 "Well, I suppose we'll have
to forgive her."

173
 "I can't turn my wife's 
sister out into the streets,
Lulu, so I've decided to
forgive you."

174
 "You can live with us 
- same as before."

175
 "Yes - I know why you'll
forgive me. Because of
this -"

176
"My work's paid for these."

177
"Now do your own dishes!"

178
"You can't forgive me!"

179
 "I hate you! I hate your 
house! I wouldn't stay in it
- I'm through!"

180
 Follows a month during
    which her new
job in the village bakery
assures Lulu of Life
and Liberty - and now
she timidly ventures forth
in Pursuit of Happiness.

181
"This came this morning."

THE END