The Mating Call
1
"I'm sorry, gentlemen -
please excuse me."
2
"Major Hatten seems
to be suffering from
shell shock."
3
"Worse than that! He's
in love - with his own
wife."
4
"You see, back home
before the war, he
was crazy about the
village belle -"
5
"Being a poor farmer, he
didn't have a chance -"
6
"But as a Captain, returning
on leave - - the village
hero - -"
7
"Yes, but we must keep
our marriage a secret."
8
"So he had a hug and
a couple of kisses -
and he's been living on
them for two years!"
9
"We dock tomorrow,
Major. I'll see my wife
for the first time in
three years."
10
"Tomorrow!"
11
"Somehow I thought
Rose would be here."
12
"My cable must have
gone astray - - so I'll
catch a train and give
her a surprise."
13
"Next stop - -
Evergreen!"
14
"Why didn't you let
us know you were
coming, Les?"
15
"This grown-up young
lady can't be your
little Jessie!"
16
"Marvin Swallow! Where's
your toothpick?"
17
"Where to, Major?"
18
"Straight to Rose's
house, of course!"
19
"Let's stop at your
place first."
20
"I see - a surprise, eh?"
21
"It looks pretty shabby
now - but wait till Rose
and I fix it up."
22
"Loosen up, Marvin! What's
on your mind?"
23
"I thought you'd rather
be alone, Les, when you
heard - about Rose."
24
"What - about Rose?"
25
"Her folks had your
marriage annulled -"
26
"She wasn't of age and you
married her without their
consent, so - -"
27
"She's of age now - -
and I'll marry her today,
without anybody's consent!"
28
"You can't, Les. She married
Lon Henderson and they've
gone abroad."
29
"Rose and Lon Henderson
got back yesterday."
30
"Hello - Rose."
31
"You look like Hell."
32
"I heard you were a hermit -
never called on anyone -
so I thought I'd break the
ice."
33
"Why didn't you bring
Lon with you?"
34
"Why should I - -
Three's a crowd."
35
"Besides, Lon annoys
me. He's too loyal -
to other women."
36
"So I'm going to do
exactly as I please!"
37
"I want you to leave
now, Rose - - and
never come back!"
38
"What's the matter - -
afraid of the Order?"
39
"Afraid of Lon?"
40
"Then you're afraid
of me!"
41
"I dare you to kiss me
and then tell me to go!"
42
"You great big strong
man!"
43
"I want my hat!"
44
"I'll not come back until
you send for me!"
45
"Think it over, Les.
You're going to be
awfully lonesome out
here."
46
"Don't phone me at
my home, Jessie!"
47
"Where have you been?"
48
"Out!"
49
"I ran into Leslie Hatten
today. He was so glad
to see me I could hardly
get away."
50
"If I ever catch you with
that dirty farmer -"
51
"I'll have him run
out of town!"
52
"Are you speaking as my
beloved husband - -
or as a member of the
Order?"
53
"Both! It is the duty of
our Organization to safe-
guard the honor of our
womenfolk!"
54
"Would the Order be as
quick to act - - if the
offender were a fellow
member?"
55
"Certainly! The Order
is no respecter of
persons!"
56
"Splendid!"
57
"Let me have my
handkerchief, dear."
58
"It's Jessie's fault we're
late. She just got
home."
59
"By the way, young
lady, where were you
all afternoon?"
60
"I went out to tea -
at Major Hatten's."
61
"Don't get frightened -
I just dropped in to
say goodbye. I'm leaving
Evergreen."
62
"Can't I smoke a last
cigarette with you?"
63
"Lon and I are through!
Too many women -
too many quarrels -
life's too short!"
64
"You need a woman to
take care of you!"
65
"It's no use, I'll have to
change. Get my grip
from the car."
66
"You've brought the wrong
bag, stupid. My dresses
are in the other."
67
"This is a personal matter,
gentlemen. I don't need
any assistance!"
68
"I've come after
my wife!"
69
"She's not here!"
70
"How do you like it -
when your wife borrows
your own morals?"
71
"I found your note - but
I didn't think you'd
really have the insolence
to come here."
72
"Don't get dramatic, Lon!
You're always talking
about a divorce - now
you can get one!"
73
"You want the divorce
so you can marry
Hatten!"
74
"Don't worry - - either
of you! I'm already
married!"
75
"I was married in France.
My wife's on her way
here now."
76
"If you ever speak to
my wife again, I'll kill
you!"
77
"I'll be back tomorrow
for my things."
78
"Hereafter, Mr. Hatten,
you'll please have no
more tea parties - -
with my Jessie."
79
"I haven't seen your Jessie -
and I don't want to."
80
"I saw you had visitors.
Need any help?"
81
"I'm all right, thanks.
But I've decided to
end this mess - once
and for all!"
82
"I'm going to get
a wife -"
83
"Not a baby-faced doll
from around here - "
84
"- but a real woman
who wants a home -
and is willing to work
for it!"
85
"And I know where
to find one."
86
Ellis Island.
87
"This is the family I
spoke of. They'll be
deported unless some-
one helps them."
88
"You will help us?
Yes?"
89
"I can get you
through."
90
"I need a woman. I'll take
you and your parents
with me - if you'll marry
me."
91
"This gentleman has a
farm and he needs a
wife to help him work
it. I think you're all
lucky, if you ask me."
92
"I accept the bargain."
93
"This is our room."
94
"This is your place!"
95
"I'm afraid I'll have to
change my clothes."
96
"You won't change
here!"
97
"This is just a friendly
call. I've met your
servant, but where's
the bride?"
98
"We're not receiving
callers yet."
99
"So I'm good enough to
be your woman - but
not good enough to
meet your friends!"
100
"You said you'd give
me back my letters.
Where are they?"
101
"I forgot them."
102
"Get this straight! I won't
marry you even if Rose
does divorce me."
103
"We don't want to be
seen here! Get in the
car!"
104
"Something's troubling
you, Jessie. Can't I
help you?"
105
"Will you marry me,
Jessie?"
106
"I've got to tell you
something first,
Marvin -"
107
"Let me think it over -
alone!"
108
"A young girl doesn't
commit suicide - -
without a good
reason - -"
109
"- and don't forget,
it happened on his
farm."
110
"I'll stay away from the
meeting tonight, so my
personal feelings won't
influence you."
111
"I'll be waiting here,
though - in case you
want me."
112
"You are a shiftless,
drunken reprobate,
idling your time
away -"
113
"While your old mother
hasn't enough to eat."
114
"You're dismissed - - but
improve your ways! We'll
be watching you!"
115
"You are accused of
beating your wife."
116
"Sure I did - and you
can't stop me!"
117
"Leslie Hatten is our
next case. Bring him
here!"
118
"Search the farm!"
119
"Maybe you'd better go
to town now and get
Lon - he knows all
about this."
120
"Pig that you are!
To spy on me so!"
121
"I'm not spying - -
I was afraid something
had happened to you."
122
"What do you want?"
123
"You are the cause of
Jessie Peebles suicide!"
124
"I didn't kill him!"
125
"You can explain that
later!"
126
"I'm sorry, Hatten -
but the evidence is
conclusive!"
127
"He's killed Henderson!"
128
"I didn't kill him -
but I was going to!"
129
"Lon Henderson drove
Jessie to suicide!"
130
"If you didn't kill him,
you should have!"
131
"We've got to fix it
so Marvin won't
be blamed."
THE END
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