Leap Year

1   
The opening scene of the
  trouble is a long shot of
Piper Hall, with a doctor
approaching the house.

2
Cutting inside, we find the
  patient - gouty, grouchy
and a girl-hater.

3
Jeremiah Piper, a crabbed
  bachelor with one leg
that works and one nephew
that doesn't.

		Lucien Littlefield.

4
  "I'm going to close up
the house and try the
hot springs again."

5
Phyllis Brown, the nurse -
   with a sanitary hair-cut.

		Mary Thurman.

6
  "I'm sending my fool nephew
Stanley on a fishing trip - to
keep him away from women."

7
  "He falls in love with every
girl he meets!"

8
The "fool nephew" stutters
  when he's excited and
is relieved only by a drink.
(Water.)

9
A close-up of
   ROSCOE ARBUCKLE
          as
  Stanley Piper, heir to his
      uncle's millions.

10
"W-w-w-water!"

11
   "My next nurse will have a
real hair-cut - and a shave!
It'll be a man!"

12
We almost forgot to introduce
   Stanley's valet, Mumford.

		John McKinnon.

13
"Where's Miss B-Brown?"

14
"Fired!"

15
  "Your Uncle says you fall in
love with every girl you meet."

16
When Stanley's stutter is
  going good, he's speechless.

17
  "'Tis a base falsehood
- and I can prove it!"

18
  "Then prove it! And
if you do - perhaps -"

19
The next location is picturesque
  Catalina Island - a fishing
ground devoid of women.

20
  "There's old Piper's heir -
practicing his drive. He's a
wonderful catch."

21
Scott Travis, of the Fraternal 
  Order of Tired Married Men.

	Clarence Geldart.

22
  "Where's the strife -
I mean wife?"

23
  "She couldn't get away -
some bathing suit censorship
movement."

24
Loris Keene, of the Broadway
  Bathing Beauties, in her
street clothes.

     Harriet Hammond.

(We'll see more of her later.)

25
"Oh, Daddy -"

26
"I'm just like a father to her."

27
  "She's needs a rest, poor girl
- all run down from overwork."

28
"She does look bad."

29
  "Bad luck? Maybe you'll be
getting m-m-married!"

30
A traffic jam on
    the third green.

31
"Fore!"

32
 Tommy Blaine, just
  bursting into lovely
manhood.

		Allen Durnell.

33
Molly Morris, sweet
  but - scrappy.

	Gertrude Short.

34
"I'm a golfer - not a referee!"

35
  "Molly, what you need is a
husband - one that will rule
as well as protect you."

36
  "Oh, Stanley! You mean it?
You really feel that way about
me?"

37
  "I have always yearned
to be loved by a man -
like you!"

38
  "You'll have to amuse Loris
this afternoon. My bitter half
is coming."

39
  "I'll amuse nobody! I'm 
leaving at once - forever!"

40
  "My wife wouldn't understand
- but I'm like a father to Loris.
And Loris is such a clever girl!"

41
  "I'm in trouble - maybe she
could advise me!"

42
Johnny-on-the-dock -
  hoping he misses the missus.

43
 Mrs. Travis, who thinks
  matrimony should be
taken seriously.

	Winifred Greenwood.

44
  "I always knew Mr. Piper was
a fast young man! I hope you
don't associate with him."

45
 Hoping that a wise girl's
   advice will help him
escape Molly.

46
  "I haven't known you very
long, but you will understand
- I'm in love -"

47
  "- an hour ago I met a girl -
you probably won't believe this
- but - er -"

48
  "I felt the same way - an
hour ago! Isn't it wonderful
- Stannie, dear?"

49
  "Fate has thrown us together
- we met - we loved - we can
be married right here!"

50
 We now come to a full
  shot of the Rutherford
yacht at anchor.

51
 Irene Rutherford - who has
  for many years been 
unhappily unmarried.

   Maude Wayne.

52
"Hullo!"

53
"Good afternoon."

54
"Where are you going?"

55
"Japan."

56
  "Irene, there's something I 
want to tell you - all my
happiness depends on it."

57
  "We've known each other 
for so long and - I'm in love -"

58
  "Dear, foolish boy! I know
what you're trying to say!"

59
  "Irene - for goodness sake,
don't you misunderstand me -"

60
  "I won't, dear. Don't say
any more - it's 'yes'."

61
  "Isn't it wonderful? He
swam over on purpose
to propose to me!"

62
After a time lapse to the
  next day, we're back
in Piper Hall -

63
  "I came to congratulate you
- Molly tells me you are en-
gaged to her."

64
"Oh, that's just a joke!"

65
  "No man can trifle with 
Mary's affections! If you
fail to marry her now -"

66
  "Don't let anyone in -
say - say I'm sick!"

67
  "I should have been called
instantly! I'm his fianc�e!"

68
  "In sickness or in health -
my place is by your side."

69
  "Oh, it may be contagious!
I'd better put 'ittle Nero in the
kitchen!"

70
  "It's all right - I'm to
be his wife."

71
"W-w-water!"

72
  "Why wasn't I notified?
We're engaged!"

73
  "The m-m-medicine closet!
Uncle's p-p-pills!"

74
  "Someone is coming! Stay 
here and keep still!"

75
  "Someone is coming! Go 
in there and keep quiet!"

76
  "Just dropped in to thank you
for helping me out yesterday.
Loris is a great girl, isn't she?"

77
  "If any man should trifle with
her, I'd kill him!"

78
  "Don't be silly, Scott!
We're engaged!"

79
  "Scott, do you want to see 
me arrested for b-b-bigamy
or t-t-t--"

80
"- trigamy?"

81
  "I'll fix it so they'll break
the engagements!"

82
  "Have you told her of your 
awful affliction?"

83
  "Is it possible she has never
seen you in one of your fits?"

84
  "I couldn't expect you to 
marry me now, dear -"

85
  "Dearest, do you think I would
leave you now - just when you
need me most?"

86
  "I'll rush home for my vanity-
box and be right back!"

87
  "Are you related to 
the remains?"

88
"I was to have been his wife."

89
  "It is my duty to be near 
him in his trouble."

90
  "That's noble of you, Irene,
but I couldn't ask you to 
marry me now."

91
  "I'll pack my bag and come 
back. I'll never leave him 
again!"

92
  "- and all the Pipers have
fits at the age of twenty-six."

93
"How romantic!"

94
  "I'll come back and roll him
around in a cute little wheel-
chair."

95
"Let's figure this thing out."

96
  "When they come back you'll
have a contagious disease and 
a nurse to prove it. That'll keep 
'em out!"

97
  "Get me a nurse - quick!
Trained or wild - only hurry!"

98
Putting on the make-up
 for a sick man's part.

99
  "It's Phyllis! Don't let
her see me!"

100
  "What is this contagious
disease?"

101
"Fits."

102
"I love you."

103
  "His heart is beating four
times faster than normal!"

104
  "How many pills did 
you take?"

105
"Three b-b-boxes!"

106
  "- at the nearest drug-
store - and hurry!"

107
"Please hurry!"

108
"I shall be his nurse."

109
  "I'm going to take care 
of him!"

110
  "I will have lunch in
an hour."

111
  "Mr. Stanley is - is
- ill, sir."

112
"Not - not seriously, sir."

113
  "Your uncle has returned -
and the three young ladies are
upstairs, sir."

114
  "What are all these women 
doing in my house?"

115
  "What! Didn't Mumford tell 
you? How careless!"

116
  "I've let my doctor treat some
home-brew patients here - just
harmless nuts."

117
  "Are all his home-brew
victims - women?"

118
  "Traitor! You lied to me!
She is here."

119
  "This is our saddest case,
Uncle - the result of too
many raisins."

120
  "Doctor, I just took a trouble-
some patient of yours upstairs."

121
  "Dr. Travis, this is my uncle
- he's interested in your home-
brew bugs."

122
  "Are home-brewers crazy
before they make it or after?"

123
  "Even if I must be married 
and divorced three times -
you'll wait for me, won't you,
dearest?"

124
  "I'm going for a license and 
a magistrate! You'll marry 
her - or die!"

125
  "Say, is it as easy to make 
as all that?"

126
  "You can save me - let's
sneak out and get married!"

127
  "And you said you weren't
a trifler!"

128
Desperate and 
  determined to escape.

129
  "I've got to duck these Janes!
Send my mail to Timbuctoo!"

130
  "I must decline to serve
this luncheon."

131
  "You know all about this.
How many raisins do I put in?"

132
  "Miss Rutherford, allow me
to present Lord Mumford."

133
  "Lord Mumford has been 
incognito for - er - reasons
of state."

134
  "The marriage must take place 
at once! Where's Molly?"

135
  "If Irene remains here, she 
must be married - so I brought
a license and a magistrate."

136
  "S-s-h! Big secret! I'm
Loris Keene's press agent."

137
  "Millionaire suitor - deathbed
marriage - great publicity! I have
a license and a magistrate."

138
  "That's the last of 'em. Now
is your chance to sneak!"

139
"So this is your sick friend!"

140
"Break it gently to young Piper."

141
  "Scott, come here a 
moment, please."

142
"You deceitful wretch!"

143
  "She has consented to 
become Lady Mumford."

144
  "I'll forgive you - but break
the engagement with the
scoundrel at once."

145
"The patient is in there!"

146
"Oh, Stanley! You must listen!"

147
  "Didn't you bring a license 
and a magistrate?"

148
  "Forgive me for wrecking 
your life. I'm going to marry 
Tommy."

149
  "Try to be brave! I'm going 
to be Lady Mumford!"

150
  "Be a good sport, Stanley -
I'm going to marry your uncle."

151
"Will you marry me?"

152
  "Thanks! Let's have a fade-out
without the usual clinch!"