A Lady of Chance
1
In a certain "ritzy" hotel
there was a young lady
of many connections.
2
"No, Madam -- the
pool room is not
for swimming."
3
"I can only handle two
plugs at once -- I'm
not an octopus."
4
"What number do you
want?"
5
"What numbers have
you got?"
6
"Here's 500,000 numbers
at ten cents each."
7
"Do you ever go out
with gentlemen?"
8
"I never met one."
9
T. Roger Hammond, a
gentleman with more
wealth than wisdom.
10
"My dear little girl,
what's the trouble?"
11
"A whole year's savings
stolen, Mr. Hammond --
and my little brother ill."
12
"Don't spoil those pretty
eyes with tears. Call
me tonight -- perhaps I
can help."
13
"That dame's making a
play for Hammond. Find
out what her racket is."
14
"Well, if it isn't the
same old Angel Face
at a brand new
racket!"
15
"Did you want a number,
Madam?"
16
"I've got your number --
that's all I need."
17
"Send the relief operator,
please."
18
"Laugh this one off, Brad --
it's Angel Face!"
19
"Hello, Angel Face. Nice
of you to drop in."
20
"So wise little Angel Face
fell for my phoney cops."
21
"Listen, Bradley, I'm working
my own racket -- and I
want to be let alone."
22
"How'd you like to go
back to Joliet?"
23
"You don't seem to realize
the seriousness of failing
to report to the Parole
Board."
24
"I think you could save
yourself a lot of trouble
by joining us in a little
business deal."
25
"Old man Hammond is a
cinch for ten thou' -- if
you help us with the
shake-down."
26
"You mean take money
from a poor old gentle-
man?"
27
"Oh, no -- a rich old
gentleman."
28
"Oh, I could never do
such a thing!"
29
"How about coming up
to see me tonight?"
30
"Oh, Mr. Hammond --
it would look much
more respectable for
you to call on me."
31
By morning, Mr. Hammond
had purchased ten thou-
sand dollars worth of
experience.
32
"She seemed so innocent --
and I felt so fatherly."
33
"-- and suddenly her
husband appeared --
a most unreasonable
person!"
34
"Of course, my intentions
were honorable -- but
my wife misunderstands
so easily."
35
"So you gave him ten
thousand to prevent
her misjudging you."
36
"Yes -- but I'm beginning
to suspect something --
er -- irregular."
37
"Dolly Morgan alias
'Angel Face'"
38
"A washout, Dolly. Hammond
stopped the check."
39
"Can you imagine Hammond
acting that way? It's cruel,
that's what it is."
40
"Men are that way --
seems like there's no
chance for a poor girl
to make an honest
living."
41
"There's no use crying --
I always take things as
I find them."
42
"Just to prove that all
men are not alike --
I'll stake you to twenty
bucks."
43
"Thanks, Brad -- you're
one white guy."
44
"What's the idea -- giving
another dame money?"
45
"You know how I am,
honey -- generous to
a fault."
46
"She's gone."
47
"The dough's gone!"
48
"I knew that dame was
dishonest!"
49
"That young lady just
made the biggest
mistake of her life."
50
"I won't take less than
one hundred thousand."
51
"The young lady paid
for it."
52
"Excuse me, Miss, but did
you pay for a telegram
signed 'Steve'?"
53
"Was that your telegram?"
54
"I thought you had
forgotten it -- and I
saw it was addressed
to a mother."
55
"That was mighty sweet
of you -- -- mothers are
most important, aren't
they?"
56
"I never had a mother."
57
"That's unusual -- er --
I mean unfortunate."
58
"I hope you don't
think I'm silly."
59
"On the contrary, I think
you're mighty nice."
60
For the balance of the
week, Dolly Morgan tried
out all her wiles and
every expression of her
"angel face".
61
"I never realized how
uninteresting cement
was until I met you."
62
"He reminds me of the
darkies singing down
home on the plantation."
63
"Are plantations very
expensive?"
64
"Some of them are
worth a million
dollars."
65
"I'm sure sorry I have to
leave tonight -- -- but
I've got to get back to
my factory."
66
"I think I've sprained
my ankle."
67
"It's really nothing --
sprains run in my
family."
68
"I had no idea a big
business man could
be so tender."
69
"It's easy to be tender
with you."
70
"Forgive me -- I just
couldn't help it."
71
"I could make you marry
me for that."
72
"Would you -- ?"
73
"Would you really --
marry me?"
74
"I know it's sudden, but
I can't help it --"
75
"-- I've loved you since
the first moment I
saw you."
76
"I just know I can make
you happy. Won't you
give me the chance?"
77
"Let's get married
tonight?"
78
"We'll catch the midnight
train for home."
79
"Love has put me on
my feet again!"
80
"I'll meet you in the
lobby -- as soon as
I pay my bill."
81
"I might as well get used
to it -- from now on I
do the paying."
82
"And how!"
83
"You wait downstairs --
this is going to require
intelligence."
84
"Going away?"
85
"Just unpacking."
86
"Where's my dough?"
87
"Oh, you mean our
dough -- that you
forgot to divide."
88
"A complete washout. I
must have lost it."
89
"Just to prove that all
women are not alike
-- -- I'll stake you to
twenty bucks."
90
"Oh, we'll forget the
small change -- now
that you've lined up
a new sucker."
91
"Never mind the phone --
I've got a few instructions
for you."
92
"I'm merely ordering
refreshments."
93
"Now, Brad -- it isn't
going to get you
anything to spoil my
game."
94
"I'm your pal, and I
wouldn't try to put
anything over on
you."
95
"I understand, and just
to help a pal I'm going
to let you include me
in your new deal."
96
"It will be a pleasure,
Brad -- and with your
help -- a cinch."
97
"Now that we understand
each other, I'll stick
around until this sucker
is landed."
98
"That's the spirit, Brad --
we'll work the old racket."
99
"That's him now --
do your stuff!"
100
"When I cough that's
your cue to walk in."
101
"I thought you would
never get here."
102
"I came as soon as
I could."
103
"Won't you have
a little drink?"
104
"Oh, darling, you
mustn't be so
rough."
105
"There's no one here
but my husband, and
he's asleep."
106
"A dame like that ought
to be in jail. She's a
menace to society."
107
"Dolly, this is Ma."
108
"Gee, Brother -- she'd
make getting married
a pleasure."
109
"I'll dust the seat off --
so you won't get that
pretty dress dirty."
110
"So this is Steve's car."
111
"Yes -- after four more
payments."
112
"Steve, we landed that
Jackson job."
113
"That'll pay forty dollars."
114
"Nothing like prosperity."
115
"So this is the plantation."
116
"Oh, no, the plantation
is next door."
117
"It's Colonel Winthrop's
plantation -- -- but we
enjoy looking over the
cotton fields."
118
"That's just like owning
it -- except that Colonel
Winthrop pays the
taxes."
119
"You haven't seen
anything yet."
120
"Enduro Cement -- takes
five minutes to settle and
lasts five hundred years."
121
"This is my most convincing
demonstration."
122
"That's the way I fool
'em all. That's ordinary
cement."
123
"This section is made
of Enduro."
124
"I must carry my bride
over the threshold the
first time -- that means
a lifetime of happiness."
125
"When I put my cement
deal through we'll have
a new house."
126
"You should put
it through, Big
Boy. You're some
salesman!"
127
"I suppose we'll get a much
better view of Colonel
Winthrop's estate from
upstairs."
128
"Steve always sleeps on
that side."
129
"Come and look at
Steve's factory."
130
"Looks just like
Pittsburgh!"
131
"There they are, honey
-- just like I said -- the
darkies singing on the
plantation."
132
"Yes, on Colonel Winthrop's
plantation."
133
"Did you think it was
my plantation?"
134
"Oh, no -- I thought it
belonged to the
Salvation Army."
135
"We can have a plantation,
honey -- when my cement
deal goes through."
136
"Certainly -- I'll only have
to wait five hundred
years for that cement
to prove itself."
137
"I reckon you must
be disappointed in
things."
138
"I didn't mean to
misrepresent any-
thing, honey."
139
"If I enthused too much,
it's only because I love
this old place --"
140
"-- and I was hoping
you'd love it, too."
141
"We love each other --
what else matters?"
142
"You do love me --
don't you?"
143
"But, Steve -- we can't
live on love."
144
"I guess you're right, Dolly
-- I can't expect a lady
like you to be happy in
these surroundings."
145
"Steve, you should have
married a girl who
could help you --"
146
"-- not a lady like me."
147
"What are you going
to do?"
148
"I'm leaving for New
York tonight."
149
"Good-bye, Dolly."
150
"I'll be thinking about
you -- always."
151
"It's better that you
forget -- everything."
152
"The old boy has to get
up early, now that he has
a missus to support."
153
"Isn't Dolly coming down
for breakfast?"
154
"Don't worry about him,
Ma. All married people
act goofy."
155
"Dolly, you've come
back to me!"
156
"That dame will soon learn
that she can't put anything
over on me -- -- and get
away with it."
157
"Mr. Steve Crandall's
residence."
158
"You've made me the
happiest man in the
world."
159
"Steve, I love you -- and
I don't want anything to
ruin your happiness."
160
"This can't be the
place."
161
"You can't tell -- --
some millionaires are
nuts about simplicity."
162
"We're Mrs. Crandall's
cousins from New York."
163
"My son is down in
the village -- I'll call
Dolly."
164
"Your cousins just
arrived."
165
"Mother, would you make
some coffee for them?"
166
"What do you think you're
going to gain by coming
here, Bradley?"
167
"We're merely trying to
find out why a gink
with a million bucks
lives in a shanty like
this."
168
"He isn't rich -- he
hasn't a dime."
169
"Of course, you wouldn't
understand, but I love
this guy."
170
"She slays me!"
171
"You're not going to give
me the run-a-round again
-- understand!"
172
"If I wanted to put anything
over on you -- it would be
a cinch!"
173
"But what about
my dough?"
174
"You're going to get
every cent of it!"
175
"This joint don't
look like ready
money to me."
176
"Maybe it's one of them
antique joints."
177
"We'll do one thing at a
time .... first we'll get our
dough -- then we'll get a
line on her boy friend."
178
"It's all yours, Bradley --
if you'll get out of here!"
179
"I assure you that
leaving this place
will be a pleasure."
180
"Are you sure you're on
the level about this
poverty gag?"
181
"Look around -- -- and
judge for yourself."
182
"Brad, why don't you
go? There's nothing
here for you."
183
"I've sold the formula
-- -- for a hundred
thousand!"
184
"Ma -- we're rich!"
185
"It's quite a relief to know
that my little cousin has
such a substantial
husband!"
186
"I told you I was
through with the
racket and I
meant it!!"
187
"Applesauce! You're just
tryin' to keep this sucker
for your private pickin'."
188
"Can't you understand?
I love this boy and I
want to be on the level
with him."
189
"I suppose you expect us
to tell him nothing -- --
and leave all this soft
dough for you!"
190
"Listen, Gwen -- I'm warning
you -- don't tell Steve any-
thing about me!"
191
"Now ain't you in a swell
position to threaten
somebody?"
192
"I'm not threatening!...
I'm telling you!!"
193
"Put that down --
you know we're
not anxious to
tell him."
194
"We're leaving for New
York tomorrow -- and
Cousin Brad has invited
us to stop at his place."
195
In New York -- ready
for the "racket".
196
"You didn't let Steve
get away with any of
his dough, did you?"
197
"I'm allowing him ten
percent -- as a sort
of amusement tax."
198
"Listen, Angel Face, if
you don't snap out of
the glooms -- -- you're
going to queer this
whole deal."
199
"You haven't told him
anything about me --
have you?"
200
"Certainly not -- and
I trust you won't make
it necessary for me to
enlighten him."
201
"Well, if it isn't
Santa Claus."
202
"It all seems too good
to be true."
203
"I know how you feel,
honey. I'm so happy
I could cry myself."
204
"Cocktails are ready."
205
"Steve -- do you think
it's okay to sign up
with Brad?"
206
"Brad is your cousin,
dear -- -- that's enough
recommendation for me."
207
"Make it snappy --
we've got an awful
thirst."
208
"I want to speak to Detective
Sergeant Matheson."
209
"Before you sign anything --
there are a few things you
ought to know."
210
"Bradley's been promising
to tell you -- maybe he
forgot."
211
"I think he forgot to
tell you that this
deal is crooked."
212
"He also forgot to tell
you -- -- that I'm a
crook -- -- "
213
"-- that I'm wanted by
the police -- --"
214
"I married you to
trim you --"
215
"So now you know,
Steve, the kind of
lady you married."
216
"You've crossed me for
the last time -- this is
the pay-off."
217
"Don't bother, Bradley.
I've already called the
cops."
218
"Who's there?"
219
"Sergeant Matheson!
Open up!"
220
"Well, Angel Face, this
is a surprise!"
221
"Yes, Matty, I thought
you might want to
know where I was."
222
"I'll change my clothes
and be with you in
five minutes."
223
"Dolly -- this mustn't
be the end for us!"
224
"Yes, Steve -- it's got
to be."
225
"But I can't let you go."
226
"It won't be as tough
as you think, Steve. You'll
find some nice girl --"
227
"I'm grateful for your
feelings, Steve -- but
you're going to be
better off without me."
228
"What does she think
she's dressing for --
the Ritz?"
229
"Matty is getting
impatient."
230
"All set, Matty."
231
"But, Dolly -- -- you're
coming back to me?"
232
"No, Steve, but thanks
-- for everything."
233
"So you were married
while you were out on
parole?"
234
"I would rather not talk
about that, Warden --
please."
235
"That's just what we're
here to talk about."
236
"Your husband has applied
for your parole in his
custody."
237
"That's just like Steve --
he would do that."
238
"No, I've burdened him
enough -- -- besides, he
isn't my husband any
more."
239
"Whether you like it or
not -- -- your parole is
granted."
THE END
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