The Kid Stakes
1
FATTY FINN
played by
"POP" ORDELL
(They called him Fatty
because he was not fat.)
2
"What sort of a job have
I got to do this week
Mr. Nicholls?"
3
This is the age of
speed.
[dissolves to:]
4
In comparison with the past
we are born faster, live
faster, eat faster, make love
faster, get married faster,
get divorced faster and
die faster.
[dissolves to:]
5
Every modern child is a
potential speed demon.
[dissolves to:]
6
Fatty Finn the world's
greatest speed king.
7
Presented with a golden
cup while the crowd cheer-
ed and the band played.
8
"Gosh! What a bonzer
dream!"
9
Tiny King who is Fatty's
trusted lieutenant.
.... Charles Roberts.
10
"Gee! Tino, I just had
a beaut dream."
11
"--- and just as I smash-
ed the record I woke up."
12
"If you hadn't woke up
you mighter smashed your
wishbone."
13
"Aw, Gee! It's only Jimmy
Kelly. Betcha he wants
to borrow a few alleys
from you!
Jimmy Kelly.....Ray Salmon
14
"Bruiser Murphy is here
and he ses if you wanter
race Hector in the Kid
Stakes to-morrow, you've
gotter put your nomernat-
ion paper in today."
15
Bruiser Murphy, owner of
the champion goat,
Stonker, and Fatty's hated
rival.
..... Frank Boyd.
16
If self importance grew
like a pimple Bruiser
would be wearing a
carbuncle.
17
Bruiser's Secretary,
Shooey Shugg.
.... Edward Stevens.
18
The little fellow is nick-
named "'Seasy," because
to him nothing is hard
"it's easy."
Billy Ireland.
19
"The nomernation must be
in by six o'clock today."
20
Headlight Hogan's double-lens
glasses made him a
double stickey beak.
.... Stanley Funnelle.
21
Bruiser's sweetheart Betty
Briggs.
.... Gwenda Hemus.
22
"I orter push yer face
in now Finn but if that
paper ain't right, I'll
see yer after the race.
Yer can't bluff me."
23
"Comrades Hector is
sure to win. He's a
beaut galloper."
24
"I've locked him in the
stable and he's not to
have anything to eat till
after the race to-morrow."
25
The traitor.
26
"These fellows can't bat;
you go and give Hector
a rub down while I
show them how to hit
a sixer."
27
"Get Hector out about
six o'clock in the mornin'
and I'll give you a glassy
and six stinkies after
the race."
28
Constable Claffey who
keeps his eye on
things.
..... Leonard Durell.
29
Macartney.
30
Gregory.
31
Right on the
"silly point."
32
A lesson in bowling
by the arm of
the Law.
33
Mailey.
34
'Seasy stuck to the law
like a spare tyre
- in the rear.
35
"Gee! Fancy a girl having
a beaut idea like that
You should have been
a boy."
Kitty Kelly....Joyce Hazeldine
36
"Fatta da Finn hitta da
ball, smasha da win'."
37
Hector undergoes
his preparation.
38
"It was a stroke worthy
of Jack Gregory sir. He
pulled the ball nearly
two hundred yards."
39
"My boy did that? How
much would the window
cost?"
40
Night fell -- all of a
heap -- and owner,
trainer and supporters
tossed restlessly in their
beds while they dreamed
of Hector winning by a
street but at 6 a.m.--
41
Mrs. Fungus a friendly
neighbour had washed
her husband's only shirt.
42
Hector was stuck on what
the sticker stuck.
43
Beginning to feel peckish,
he does a little
thinking.
Question: Do goats think?
Answer: Ask yourself.
44
"What about a bit
of green stuff?"
45
Two of a kind.
The one with the four
legs is the goat by
right of birth. The other
just happened.
46
The one with the two
legs is Horatio John
Wart whose heart is in the
right place although his
face has slipped a bit.
..... Jimmy Taylor.
47
Madeline Twirt who
loves Horatio like a
cat loves fish.
..... Eileen Alexander.
48
"Oh Horatio my hero,
my splendid he man."
49
"My rose, my bloom,
my beautiful flower!"
50
That's what Hector
thought.
51
Mr. Twirt's gout forced
him out of bed an
hour earlier than usual.
..... Tom Cannan.
52
"There's a Goat in the
garden. Capture him and
lock him in the garage.
I'll have the ugly brute
destroyed."
53
"My hero! My king! Wait
for me in the summer
house. I'll slip down
with my suit case."
54
"My Flower! My Fruit!
My Peanut!"
55
"Come on mister goat!"
56
The end of a
perfect meal.
57
--- and Hector went
through the card.
58
Hector decides to have a
sleep in the summer
house.
59
"Here I am. Kiss me
Horatio."
60
Bruiser had despatched
Stonker to the course
early and was now having
trouble with Betty who want-
ed to wear the trousers.
61
News of Hector's escape
had reached Fatty
and while others played
his heart was breaking.
62
Meanwhile an angel in
disguise was coming
among them.
63
Master Algie Snoops of
Potts Point who
longed to play with other
children.
....... David Lidstone.
64
Under that velvet jack-
et beats a hot and
restless heart.
65
The call of the wild.
66
"Sissyboy!"
67
"Mummy's darling 'ickle
baby, where is 'oo
Nursie Pet?"
68
"Don't dirty 'oo 'ickle
handies, Dear!"
69
"Mind 'oo safety pins
don't come undone ducky."
70
"Did 'oo nursie give 'oo
'oo bottle pet?"
Molly Kelly.....Evelyn Rawle.
71
"A feller ought to dot
your blinkin' eye."
72
Scrum!
73
"You ought to be ashamed
of yourself, Hubert Finn,
hitting that poor little
Potts Point boy."
74
"He'll do Fat. He can
join the gang. Shake
hands."
75
"Gee! That's good pepper."
76
"Gosh! Kitty it was'nt my
fault I wouldn't have hit
him if I'd known he could
fight."
77
"Decent boys don't fight."
78 [animated title; each line
revealed consecutively in
circular pattern]
PRETTY JOEY!!!
"YUM YUM"
Sheik!
WOW
"Oh kiss me Fatty!"
"You're the one"
"SHEIK!!"
79
"Aw gee! The fellers are
a lot of cock-eyed fish."
80
"The fellers needn't think
I want to kiss girls."
81
"I'm not scared of any
copper - if he comes near
me again I'll knock he's
blooming -"
82
"Gee! It's Hector!"
83
"I know Mr. Twirt's place
and can lead you to
the garage."
84
"Gee Fellers, we're going to
rescue Hector or die. Algie
will be the guide."
85
"What did Napolean do?"
86
"We'll sign our names in
our own blood so that
we won't tell on each
other. C'mon."
87
"You nick home, you'll only
get us into trouble."
88
"Gosh, look at the
bonzer swimming pool."
89
"Were you the only goat
in there mister?"
90
"Hey Miss, let him
come up for air."
91
"Somebody's got Fatty's goat."
92
"You get Hector while
we have a swim."
93
"No savee."
94
Meanwhile the candidates
were arriving on the
course for the first heats
of The Kid Stakes.
95
Fatty decides to put the
lovers through the "torture
test" before making them
members of the gang.
96
"Look it's twenty to four
and the race starts at four."
97
"I'll fly Hector over
in my aeroplane."
98
The Big Parade.
99
Horatio in his wild enthu-
siasm looped the loop.
100
So did Hector.
101
"Step on it Mister and
I'll give you the right
oil for the big race."
102
Stonker was favourite for
the 5th heat but Bruiser
Murphy, his owner, had a
few words with a bookmaker.
103
"20 to 1 Stonker!"
104
But ---
105
--- Stonker won by two
goat lengths.
106
"Spare me days, there are
only two goats on the
course - Stonker and me!"
107
Hector got there just in
time to win the 6th heat
and qualify for the final.
108
The Wireless Man worked
overtime while a whole
Continent "listened in" with
breathless excitement.
109
"2 F.C. speaking ---- Listen
folks! The greatest race of
the year is about to start."
110
"They are now at the
barrier. One of the goats
has just eaten the start-
er's straw hat causing
a slight delay."
111
"They got away to a good
start and Hector has
gone to the front."
112
"Stonker has taken the
lead from Hector."
113
"Windbag is making a great
run Hector has fallen back
beaten."
114
"Poo and Stonkey have turn-
ed into the straight together."
115
"Poo!"
116
"Poo, Windbag and Stonker
are fighting it out."
117
Stonker!
118
"Poo!"
119
"Hector is coming again on
the rails."
120
Hector!
121
"Hector and Poo are racing
neck and neck."
122 [animated title; each line
revealed consecutively]
"Hector!
Hector!
Hector!
Hector!
123
"Stonker is beaten."
124
"Poo! Poo! No, Hector!"
125
Hector!
126 [animated title; each word
revealed consecutively]
"Hector! Hector! Hector!
127
"Hector has won by a
short beard."
128
There was joy in
Hector's camp.
129
"You aint going to turn
me down are you Betty?"
130
"You! You and Stonker couldn't
beat a starved cockroach
with sea boots on - you mutt!"
THE END
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