It
1
"IT" is that quality possessed by some
which draws all others with its
magnetic force. With "IT" you win
all men if you are a woman - and all
women if you are a man. "IT" can
be a quality of the mind as well as a
physical attraction.
Elinor Glyn [signature]
2
Leaving his department store
to his son, Cyrus P. Waltham
has gone to Herrin, Illinois, for
the shooting.
3
"A gentleman to see
you, sir."
4
"For a good boy - on
his first work day."
5
"If you ever go to work,
Monty, I'll do as much
for you."
6
"Old fruit, you've
got 'IT'!"
7
"What the devil are you
doing?"
8
"No - too bad - but you
haven't any 'IT'!"
9
"Run away, Monty, the
keepers are coming."
10
"I'm to look over the
store. Come along."
11
"Hot socks - the
new boss!"
12
"Sweet Santa Claus,
give me him!"
13
"Let's have a double
wedding - you and
him - and me and
the Prince of Wales!"
14
"Where do you figure?
The Prince is going to
be our best man!"
15
"I've inspected all the lady
employees - and not
one of them has 'IT'!"
16
"You went over big,
dearie!"
17
"Just you wait - I'll take
the snap out of your
garters yet!"
18
"Look! If I ever saw 'IT',
that's 'IT'!"
19
"Shall we gnaw a chop
at the club tonight?"
20
"Thanks, but I have an
engagement at the Ritz."
21
"Could I - is it asking
too much - would it be
possible for me to - to
drive you home?"
22
"I'd be very glad to go
with you - if you'd
ride in my car."
23
Betty lived in that
fashionable down-
town suburb - Gas-
house Gables -
24
"Would - could - do
you ever dine?"
25
"I'd love to -"
26
"- at the Ritz!"
27
"Shall we dress?"
28
"Of course - how
absurd!"
29
"Then I'll pop around
at eight?"
30
"Toodles is hungry."
31
"The doctor says I can't
go back to the store for
a month - and I can't
let you do any more
for me."
32
"Don't be sill, Molly! I
won't go back on a pal!"
33
"That pest of a landlady
and her friend just left.
The baby shouldn't do
this - and I shouldn't do
that -"
34
"If this was my baby,
I'd tell 'em where to
head in!"
35
"I'm dining out tonight
- at the Ritz!"
36
Every evening in America,
eighteen million blondes
prepare to dine with gentle-
men. One of the eighteen
million -
37
"Mother, would you
approve of my being
Mrs. Cyrus T. Waltham?"
38
"He hasn't proposed yet
- but he's going to!"
39
"Mademoiselle's car
is without."
40
"A nice, quiet table -
in the corner, Mr.
Montgomery?"
41
"I don't crave this table.
When I'm in the swim,
I want to be with the
goldfish!"
42
"I'll take the same!"
43
"Who is the girl with
Monty?"
44
"I don't know - but isn't
she attractive?"
45
"Who's the blonde with
Mr. Waltham?"
46
"Adela Van Norman -
they've been friends for
years. Some day they'll
marry and end it all."
47
"Of course you're reading
Elinor Glyn's latest story,
'IT'?"
48
"Monty was raving about
it today. What is 'IT'?"
49
"Here's Elinor Glyn herself!
Let's ask her to tell us
something about 'IT'."
50
"Madame Glyn, we've
been talking about your
latest story. Just what
is this 'IT'?"
51
"Self-confidence and indifference
as to whether you are pleasing
or not - and something in you
that gives the impression that
you are not at all cold. That's 'IT'!"
52
"If you have 'IT', you
will win the girl you
love."
53
"Cyrus, do you believe
in 'IT'?"
54
"I certainly do!"
55
"I'm going to get my
wish!"
56
"Oh, I must telephone!"
57
"Who is that charming
girl with you?"
58
"This is a great pleasure."
59
"I'll bet you won't even
recognize me, the next
time we meet."
60
"I'll take the bet -
and you can name
the stakes."
61
In a shopgirl's day,
the first thousand
customers are the
crabbiest.
62
"She always takes goods on
approval - wears them around
for six months - and then finds
she doesn't approve!"
63
"- and the girl insulted
me!"
64
"See that the garment is
replaced - and send the
salesgirl to my office."
65
"Young lady, in this store
the customer is always
right -"
66
"I'm the salesgirl! Go
on - bawl me out!"
67
"Well, anyway, I lose the
bet for not recognizing
you. What's the forfeit?"
68
"Oh, that wasn't a
real bet. I don't want
anything -"
69
"Thanks, Adela, I'll be
very happy to dine
with you tonight."
70
"If you insist on paying
your bet, you can take
me out tonight."
71
"All right! Where?"
72
"Let's go to the beach -
and do it up right!"
73
"Hold me tight, Mr.
Waltham."
74
"Happy?"
75
"So you're one of those
Minute Men - the minute
you know a girl you
think you can kiss her!"
76
Poverty is no disgrace
- - until meddling
neighbors hear of it.
77
"There's no use arguing!
We're going to take that
baby to the Home, until
you're well!"
78
"Get that story."
79
"If women like you would
stay home and have babies
of your own, we'd all be
better off!"
80
"We're doing our duty.
The mother is ill - and
she has no means of
support."
81
"This is my baby!"
82
"I don't believe it."
83
"I'm the baby's mother
- I'm not sick - and
I've got a job! Laugh
that off!"
84
"Haven't I a job, Monty -
at Waltham's? Tell 'em!"
85
"Is that the baby's
father?"
86
"Him? He couldn't
even give birth to
a suspicion!"
87
"Who is your husband?
Have you a husband?"
88
"None of your business!"
89
"I say, Betty, this isn't
really your child, is it?"
90
"Are you blind? Can't you
see the resemblance?"
91
"I have tashted the milk
of human kindnesh -
an' it's a lot of Fermillac!"
92
"B'lieve it or not - my
baby is its mother!"
93
"I'm the chappie - the
man about town - I'm
the ample means!"
94
"We are investigating the
case of a girl who says
she's employed here -"
95
"- she - she - there's
a baby."
96
"She gave the name
of Betty Lou Spence."
97
"Thank you. You see, we
had to verify her story."
98
"She's the one. She told
me it's her baby - told
me with her own lipsh!"
99
"Will you issue the
bonus checks now,
Mr. Waltham?"
100
"Are you mad at me
because I slapped you?"
101
"I'm sorry - but a girl
has to do that. You
know how those things
are!"
102
"Let's forget it. We've
got each other straight
now, haven't we?"
103
"Yes - we have!"
104
"It's a star sapphire."
105
"It's pretty - but I like
diamonds better."
106
"Would you like some
diamonds for yourself?"
107
"Betty, I'm crazy
about you -"
108
"I love you, too."
109
"I'll buy you diamonds -
clothes - everything
you want -"
110
"What are you trying
to do? Offer me
one of those left-hand
arrangements?"
111
"I'm crazy about you!
Isn't that enough?"
112
"I suppose that's what
you men call love!"
113
"Cancel my appointments,
please. I'm leaving town
for a week."
114
Betty was too poor to
quit her job - and too
proud to stay. So she
quit!
115
"I - I've come to
forgive you."
116
"You don't mean you
thought the baby was
really mine?"
117
"There's its mother!
Can't you see the
resemblance?"
118
"What a joke on Waltham
- I told him it was your
baby!"
119
"He thought it was mine?"
120
"And he wouldn't even
give me the benefit of
the doubt!"
121
"I'll make him propose to
me - and when he does,
I'll laugh in his face!
And you're going to help
me do it!"
122
"But - he's going on a
yachting cruise and -
and I'm going with him!"
123
"Fine! I'll yacht
with you."
124
"But, I say - what about
your clothes?"
125
"That's the joke on you
- you're going to buy
them for me."
126
"Give me your word
you won't tell him -
anything!"
127
"Is Mr. Waltham aboard?"
128
"Not yet, sir."
129
"The party's off. We
might as well go back."
130
"Oh no, sir! Mr. Waltham's
expecting you - he'll be
here any minute."
131
"Shall I show you to
your cabins?"
132
"Something I can get for
you, Mr. Montgomery?"
133
"No, thanks - I'm just
prowling about."
134
"Just going for some -
some - cigars."
135
"Everything ready,
Captain?"
136
"Let's get under way."
137
"I'm not feeling so well."
138
"Tea, sir?"
139
"Feeling better, Monty?"
140
"I feel so low, old chap,
that I could get on
stilts and walk under
a dachshund!"
141
"Shall I call Miss Van
Cortland, sir? She's
in her cabin."
142
"I say, I almost forgot
about Miss Van Cortland."
143
"Miss Van Cortland - the
- the girl I asked when
you asked me to ask
someone."
144
"Monty, who is Miss
Van Cortland?"
145
"You - you tell them,
old thing."
146
"She's a very nice girl. I
- I believe Monty met
her in Paris last summer."
147
"You idiot! Who is
this girl?"
148
"She's a ripping sort,
really! She's positively
topheavy with 'IT'."
149
"Oh, Monty, am I late for
tea? I'm so sorry."
150
"Mr. Waltham! It's been
years, hasn't it?"
151
"Won't you have
some tea?"
152
"Haven't I seen you
some place?"
153
"In Paris, perhaps. I'm
there so often."
154
"Desirez-vous du sucre?"
155
"What do you mean by
bringing her?"
156
"You know what sort
she is - with her father-
less child!"
157
"But, I say - it isn't
fatherless -"
158
"I won't have her on
board! We'll put back
to port."
159
"Do you think we'll have
as nice a day as this
all day, Captain?"
160
"That's the last time I'll
get you out of a scrape!"
161
"Miss Van Cortland seems
to be rather lacking in
reserve, doesn't she?"
162
"Personally, I think she
has plenty - in reserve!"
163
"Betty, I've something to
say to you."
164
"Won't it wait until
morning?"
165
"I've been thinking things
over, Betty. I want to
talk to you - seriously."
166
"Be serious - with you?
How silly!"
167
"I don't care what you've
been - I want you to
marry me!"
168
"I'd rather marry your
office boy!"
169
"He asked me - and I
laughed at him - and
now it doesn't seem so
darned funny, after all!"
170
"It was a ghastly joke,
old man - her baby's
just a moth - I mean
a myth!"
171
"It's her friend's baby!
And she's crying for
you - I mean Betty,
not the baby -"
172
"But you said yourself
it was her baby -"
173
"Take the wheel, Monty
- I'm going to find her."
174
"The ballast has shifted
to port, sir - but there's
no danger!"
175
"Silly of me, but I'm afraid I
overdid it - made a left-hand
turn and what not -"
176
"Take your girl friend.
I had to knock her
cold - but maybe it'll
do her good."
177
"Betty, where are
you going?"
178
"I'm going home!"
179
"Monty will get you."
180
"Monty, I wonder if there's
anything between them?"
181
"I'm afraid there is."
182
"We're just a couple of
It-less 'ITS'!"
THE END
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