His Picture in the Papers

[reconstructed titles]

1
   Publicity at any price has be-
come the predominant passion of 
the American people. May we beg 
leave to introduce to you as a shin-
ing disciple of this modern art of 
"three-sheeting", Proteus Prindle,
producer of Prindle's 27 Vegetar-
ian Varieties.

2
    Proteus Prindle, who not only
manufactures but eats the 27 varieties.

  PRINDLE ... ... CLARENCE HANDYHIDES

3
Pearl and Pansy Prindle,
known as "28" and "29",
give a pink tea to push
the other 27 varieties.

4
Young Pete Prindle is the nonconformist
 member of his father's famous family

   PETE ... ... DOUGLAS FAIRBANKS

5
Late again

6
  But Pete prefers pugilism 
to pushing Prindle's Products.

7
      Cassius Cadwalader, the great
   railroad magnate, who adores Prindle
and lives on his products, lunches daily at
     McFadden's Vegetarian Restaurant.

CADWALADER ... ... CHARLES BUTLER
CHRISTINE, HIS DAUGHTER ... ... LORETTA BLAKE

8
    Father Cadwalader has picked 
another vegetarian nut for a son-in-law

    MELVILLE ... ... HOMER HUNT

9
Now it is only natural that this great 
magnate should have incurred the enmity
 of the notorious gangsters known as
   the Weazels, and they spot him
        for their next victim.

10
That very evening the Prindles invite
  the Cadwaladers to a sumptuous
  banquet of pre-digested prunes.

11
"My daughter and her fianc�.
  They were both raised
  on Prindle's Products!"

12
       Having banqueted at home, 
Pete sneaks off to get something to eat.

13
     Melville says good-night.
With a sanitary kiss. Note the kiss.

14
     And Christine, too,
proves a traitor to the cause.

15
Contrary to all rules of romance,
      love had no effect.

16
Wherein it is shown that beefsteak 
  produces a different style of
    love-making from prunes.

17
        Next day at noon,
Pete is keeping his regular hours.

18
              Lunch time.
Cadwalader braces himself for the trial.

19
  One of the Waezels
presents a demand note.

20
 "Shall a man nourished on
Prindle's Products cringe to
  a gang of cut-throats?"

21
"Never!"

22
             Meanwhile,
 "28" and "29" land an illustrated
interview in the Vegetarian Gazette.

23
Christine sends Melville
   back to his fodder.

24
    "You'll never find 
a sweeter boy than Melville."

25
"If he is sweet, me for a lemon!"

26
   Next day Pete is
punctually late as usual.

27
 "The pay-roll clerk is sick.
See if, for once in your life,
    you can do some work."

28
Pearl and Pansy justify all the feed
 father has fed them, by breaking
        into a front page.

29
But not even a vegetarian pay-roll
  can stifle young love's dream.

30
     And flying to Christine's side,
he asks her to join him for life on a good,
           strong meat diet.

31


 "You're no true son of Prindle.
 Get a half interest in your father's
  business and then I'll consent.
Meantime, stay away from my house."

32
"What have you ever done
 for Prindle's Products?
 Look how your sisters
  are boosting them!"

33
"Huh! The Vegetarian Gazette!!
 Why, if I wanted to cut loose,
I could get my picture in every 
 regular paper in New-York!"

34
      "Well, go and do it.
And don't come near me or my house
     till you've made good."

35
  "It's easy! All I've got to do
is to get my picture in the papers."

36
 But father Cadwalader has not
forgotten the blackmailing letter
of the Weazels. That night a trap
          is sprung!

37
At the top of a cliff.

38
 A kindly boob falls for Pete's plan, 
and rushes him to the Harlem Hospital.

39
Pete hardly thought "putting it over"
         would be so easy.

40
     "I am Peter Prindle,
    son of Proteus Prindle.
I was raised on Prindle's Products
   and here's my photograph."

41
Pete hastens to tell Christine,
 "It'll be a cinch this time."

42
 But a dollar and one cent never
yet bought a ticket to Bridgeport.

43
Lentils.

44
 "See here, young fella,
  this ticket calls for
a fat man with whiskers!"

45
"Whiskers!"

46
"Mr. Terry McGovern, referee!"

47
Battling Burke, champion.

48
The Harlem Kid.

49
        "The first bout,
Battling Burke and the Harlem Kid,
   both members of this Club."

50
    "Next contestant to go
against Battling Burke, champion,
 will be the Australian Wombat,
 - also a member of this Club!"

51
Burke still champion ----

52
  "Next contestant, Pete Prindle,
who was raised on Prindle's Products,
  - also a member of this Club."

53
At last.

54
To save the precious pictures.

55
  Christine, convincing father
that preparedness makes for peace, 
 takes him to a detective agency.

56
"Pop goes the Weazel!"

57
"Serves you right! Before I'm through
     I'll get your whole gang!"

58
   Cadwalader enlists Prindle
in his campaign against the Weazels.

59
 "Idiot! Out of my sight! How could
anyone raised on Prindle's Products
 be an invalid from birth! Get out!"

60
       On the way home,
Pete is struck with another idea.

61
  Oh joy! He will consult
    the famous female,
 perhaps she can give him
a tip on this picture business;
  but he hasn't the price,
 so he drops in at the club
     to make a touch.

62
     "Lend me a dollar!
I'm going to see Vera Carewes!"

63
"See Vera Cruz! On a dollar?"

64
"Hurry up! We've got to get him 
  on the boat for Vera Cruz!"

65
On the way to the steamer.

66
       The steamer sails
with Pete safely asleep on board.

67
Off the coast at Atlantic City.

68
         "Aw, let him go!
His empty head will keep him afloat!"

69
     Pete's propitious
appearance in Atlantic City.

70
"I refuse to be arrested! These are
  perfectly respectable pajamas!"

71
     "I'm Pete Prindle, 
 raised on Prindle's Products
and I've just beat up two cops.
   Please take my picture 
     for your paper.

72
 "Why weren't my goods
delivered, that I shipped to
 Philadelphia last week?"

73
     "The train was wrecked.
   Your car's on a siding near
Atlantic City. I'll go down tomorrow
    and see about it myself."

74
More water ...

75
... and a suit of clothes.

76
     One of the Weazels hears
     from Cadwalader's guards
of his proposed trip to Atlantic City.

77
The Weazels pick a favorable spot
  for their diabolical design.

78
   "We'll close this switch
    and Cadwalader's train
will be wrecked against that car."

79
  Next morning, the police,
having learned Pete's identity,
dismiss him, with a reprimand.

80
Off for Atlantic City.

81
"He'll try to flag the train
  from the top of the car."

82
"At last a use for a Prindle Product!"

83
"Ain't he the REEL hero?"

84
His picture in the papers.

THE END