EMOO
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web: http://www.geocities.com/Colosseum/Track/5209 |
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EMOO
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web: http://www.geocities.com/Colosseum/Track/5209 |
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9/2/98 DATELINE: Beanie Baby Bomb
The N.W.O. has been busy again. The Suns have been the focus of the N.W.O.. The Suns
recent beanie baby giveaway, Ollie the Alaskan Otter, was sabatoged by N.W.O. memebers
Stevie Ray and Vincent. Prior to the giveaway, the supply of beanie babies were drenched
in exxon's finest grade oil. The fans fourteen and under, were crushed by the news that
the beanies were not going to be passed out . Even more devastated were the overweight
soccer moms and their local beanie baby task force.
NWO
4
Life
8/26/98 DATELINE: N.W.O. ACQUIRES KITTYHAWK FLYERS
Scott Hall of the New World Order, in a brief statement today announced the acquisition of
the KittyHawk Flyers by the New World Order. The agreement between Wright and the NWO
includes clauses to keep the Flyers in KittyHawk, and the construction of a new baseball
facility. The leader of the N.W.O., Hollywood Hulk Hogan, could not be reached at this
time due to the production schedule of his new movie. Scott Hall's response to the NWO
acquisition of the Flyers, "NWO and the KittyHawk Flyers are just too
sweet!!!!!".
NWO 4 LIFE
8/25/98 DATELINE: DISASTER IN KITTYHAWK
Hurricane Bonnie has added insult to injury to the fans of the KittyHawk Flyers. After the
KittyHawk Flyer's threw in the towel for the 1998 season, the North Carolina National
Guard was called out to put down local riots. Now Bonnie has struck KittyHawk. Although no
one was killed the collateral damage to the city was extensive. At ground zero of the
damage was the Wright Brother's Baseball, NASCAR and Wrestling facility, it was literally
washed into the ocean. When W.O. Wright was asked about the ecological effect of the
facility being washed into the ocean, W.O. Wright responded: "THE ENVIRONMENT!!!!
THE ENVIRONMENT CAN BITE MY $^@&#!!!!! I am ruined ya little puke.!!!!".
8/23/98 Kittyhawk North Carolina: Diamond Dallas
Page Attacked.
Professional wrestler Diamond Dallas Page was assaulted Sunday night as he prepared to
throw out the ceremonial first pitch of the Express and Flyers game. Hollywood Hogan,
Scott Hall, Kurt Henning and Rick Rude charged the mound as Page prepared to pitch. The
NWO's assault was quick and brutal, leaving Diamond Dallas Page a quivering mass on the
mound. To add further insult to injury, Hollywood Hogan performed the honors of throwing
the first pitch.
8/13/98 N.W.O. Press Release
"Hey YO! This memo is from the desk of Scott Hall, Press Secretary of the N.W.O..
I've got a message to all you teams that are in this so called pennant race. First of all,
I want to address the lead dog, the Scottnel Suns. Back in the Sixties NASA put monkeys on
the moon, that doesn't make the monkeys astronauts. You haven't won this race yet"
"Now the Mudhens. I dunno what to say about this team. I'm speechless."
"I've got a special message for the Ruxpins. It ain't gonna happen Take your little
T. Bear up to the Smokies and start your long winter nap. Wait till next year cause it
ain't gonna happen in 1998. Maybe you and Jessica Palehorse can draw some cave paintings.
I dunno. "
"Hey Yo, Mooners. Two Words. How?. Your like a nasty case of the flu. I dunno how you
keep hanging around the big dance? But you do. Your like a lost puppy tailing the lead
pack. Well, it's time to punt the puppy."
"Hey Yo, SmartAlexs. Now I like this team. This team has got the big guns. They can
knock the ball outa any park. They are bottled lightning at the plate. But they have one
big problem, THIS ISN'T A TEE-BALL LEAGUE. Nuff Said."
"My predictions on who will win the ball of wax. There is gonna be alot of crying at
the awards banquet. Hey Yo. Good Night." And remember the N.W.O. is just tooooo
sweeeeet !!!"
This message has been paid for by New World Order. 
8/13/98 Scottnell, Alaska
General Manager Scott Nelson of the Scottnel Suns made the following
statement this morning concerning last night's defamation of the Sun's Wall of Fame:
"It is this organization's policy to not react or become flustered when this sort of
situation arises in and around our ballpark. In this instance, thanks to ESPN, the
vandalism has come to the forefront of national attention, and I am expected to make a
comment concerning the situation. I will try to be succinct and to the point, so that
Peter Gammons can use this as a soundbite leading into today's diamond notes, or whatever
it is that he does. Myself and nobody at Exxon, nor the Suns are aware of who or what the
N.W.O is. I'm sure this is just another case of an ignorant, jealous fan reacting in the
only way that they can, and that is showing their stupidity and low-class by ruining a
thing of beauty. Luckily the damage to the wall is not irreversible and Jessica Palehorse
has already begun restoration on her work, receiving a large bonus to her paycheck for the
extra time she will have to put in. Experts have been consulted and we believe that the
N.W.O is probably either an acronym for the Natural Wildlife Organization or the Nation of
Women Obstetricians, both of whom would use the cryptic phrase 4 Life. If the playing of
baseball offends either one of these groups Exxon Oil and the Scottnel Suns are sincerely
apologetic. In fact, donations in the amount of $10,000 have been made in the names of
John Olerud and Jessica Palehorse to both the Alaskan Wildlife Fund and the Scottnel Right
to Life Campaign in the hopes of patching up any ill will that might be felt between the
Suns and the N.W.O. That is all."
After the press conference several players were interviewed regarding Mr. Nelson's
comments on the break in of Valdez Park. Pitcher Kent Mercker seemed to have a different
take on the vandalism, he said, "I don't care what the managerial stance on this
situation is. The players have their own ideas on who spit on us, and what should be done
about it." When asked if that meant he might be doing a bit of headhunting against
certain teams when he was on the mound, Mercker's only comment was, "let's just say
it will be taken care of on the field and not on Sportscenter."
General Manager Scott Nelson was tied up in a meeting and was unable to react to his fifth
starter's comments
ESPN SportsCenter 8/12/98:
DateLine Scottnel Alaska: SUNS WALL OF FAME VANDALIZED!!
Valdez Park (home of the Scottnell Suns) was broken into last night and their Wall of Fame
was vandalized. Across the various pictures of the Suns, were four simple words.
"N.W.O. 4 Life". Suns' officials have not yet been reached for comment.
8/11/98 Suns Press Release
Despite some of the bad press that the Suns Wall of Fame has gotten lately, Jessical Palehorse has continued on undeterred. The league and the players are kidding each other that to get painted on the wall spells your trading papers out of Scottnel. But this isn't the case, instead, Palehorse is capturing the integrity of today's players on that wall (YOU WANT HER ON THAT WALL!! YOU NEED HER ON THAT WALL!!).
All of her subjects are bonafide superstars, perhaps not for what they do on the field, but what they represent on the field. It is the pride and the integrity that is evident in the Scottnel organization. It pained us to trade away the players that were represented on our wall (contrary to popular opinion, Andruw Jones did not appear, and was never scheduled for a painting, nor are we particularly upset to no longer be of Mr. Jones' service), but they were traded nonetheless in the sincerest effort to bring the EMOO title to the proud and deserving citizens of Alaska. The players that helped bring the title to Scottnel will be remembered always on the Wall of Fame, and although Scott Rolen and Masato Yoshii no longer wear the bright Alaskan Sun on their caps, they do hold a place in our hearts and will always be on our minds every time a fan steps down that walkway. And it is in keeping with the proud Suns' tradition that the latest player to grace the Wall of Fame is the embodiment of charity and grace and courage, first baseman John Olerud.
Honolulu Hawaii 7/27/98
The Laze and Suns have agreed to an exchange of players for the betterment
of both teams. It is with great sadness that the Laze trade Vinny Castilla. Vinny has been
a valuable member of Laze teams for four plus years, so parting ways was difficult
for both parties. We wish Vinny well and continued success.
Laze trade OF Dante Bichette, P Rick Reed, 3B Vinny Castilla, and 2B Delino DeShields
to the Suns for 2B Tony Womack, 3B Scott Rolen, P Masato Yoshii, and P Corey Lidle.
Thanks
Laze Management
Flying High: The official newsletter of the Kittyhawk Flyers
7/17/98
In response to fan outrage, the Flyers will try to win them back with a series of
innovative promotions:
Where is Eric Rudolph?
Hidden in Wright Field is a double of Eric Rudolph. The first fan to catch Eric will win
season tickets for the Flyers in 1999.
Nashville 7/6/98
One day after the 12 player deal with Kittyhawk rumors are flying. Unidentified sources within the Ruxpins' organization have confirmed that the 12 player deal was carried out by Ruxpin owner Theodore Ruxpin without consulting anyone in the front office including General Manager Jim Birkel. Sources also added that this may signal an even more hands on approach from the teams' owner and that he may clean house in the front office after the 98 season. In Gnome Alaska the local paper reported that Xpress ownership has asked permission to speak with Ruxpin GM Jim Birkel about their GM position.
Another story surfacing is the possibility the deal was made due to the failing health of Ruxpins' owner Theodore Ruxpin. Once again unidentified sources within the Ruxpins' front offices have confirmed that Theodore Ruxpin's health is poor and that he made the deal with Kittyhawk to see a winner in Nashvile before he "goes to the big front office in the sky". That would explain the win now at all costs attitude the organization has taken on in recent weeks. Others in the EMOO League are questioning whether this is simply a ruse by the Ruxpins' owner to further motivate his team.
When reached Ruxpin officials refused to comment.
Flying High: The official newsletter of the Kittyhawk Flyers
7/6/98
The governor of North Carolina has called out the National Guard to suppress riots in
KittyHawk after the trade for Floyd, Lopez, Benes and Hermanson. Flyers owner, W.O.
Wright, has gone into hiding after death threats were made against him and his family.
Local militia groups have denied hiring local bounty hunter, Bubba, to hunt down W.O.
Wright.
Local riots have been suppressed in KittyHawk after free admission to the War on the Shore
II (wrasslin and baseball) was announced. Fan note: War on the Shore II will be held
during the upcoming Express and Flyers three game weekend series.
Kittyhawk North Carolina 6/29/98
The Kittyhawk Flyers orginization issued the following statement today:
Attention: The Flyers' Fire Sale begins
With a heavy heart the Flyers have decided to move some of their higher priced players. We
have found ourselves unable to compete with other teams in their disposal of young talent.
This matched with the loss of Jermaine Allensworth, was the final nail in the coffin. With
the loss of a fifth starter with nothing in return, and the lack of a closer, it is the
Flyers' position that were we to compete to win, everything may be deemed a loss.
We are looking for offense and quality pitching. We prefer Braves.
Suns' Press Release 6/29/98
The newest Palehorse painting on the Sun's Wall of Fame is fan favorite, Masaoto Yoshii. Fan's are taking to the Japanese import like they did in '95 when Hideo Nomo wore the Sun's colors. Can you say Yoshiimania?
6/23/98 Kingston Jamaica
Kingston, Jamaica (AP)--The Smart Alecs acquired OF Barry Bonds for the
stretch run in their quest of the 1998 EMOO pennant late Monday night. Co-GMs Sly Dunbar
& Robbie Shakespeare announced this morning the completion of the trade between the
Smart Alecs and the Scruffy Lookin' Nerz Herders.
The Smart Alecs traded pitchers Dave Mlicki and Scott Elarton along with highly touted
outfielder Mark Kotsay in a move that mortgaged a piece of the Smart Alecs' 1999 season.
In return, they received pitchers Doug Jones and Stan Belinda in addition to Bonds.
Belinda is currently on the DL.
Co-GM Sly Dunbar said talks began late last week after he received a call from Nerz Herders owner Paul Nerz stating his willingness to part with Bonds in the right deal, one that would begin solidifying his own 1999 team. The Herders were prepared to trim payroll and acquire youngsters. The basis for a trade was quickly established before both teams recessed for the weekend to consider it. The initial version included Chris Stynes instead of Kotsay.
Nerz scouted Dave Mlicki's Thursday night outing and was impressed as he
also was with Mlicki's inexpensive contract. Elarton had been discussed and, as fate would
have it, was promoted for a Saturday performance against the the AAA Cincinnati Reds.
After picking discussions back up late Monday night after Mlicki had been designated for
assignment, Nerz countered with Kotsay instead of Stynes. While initially wavering, the
Smart Alecs felt that Bonds was worth the sacrifice of Kotsay. "We really hated to
trade a young player da caliber of Mark, you know," said Shakespeare. "We had
major plans fer him down da road but when opportunity knocks in a player such as Barry
Bonds, you haf to take advantage of da situation. With Dave, it was simply a case of him
not taking advantage of his chances. The team did not haf confidence in him when he took
da mound. As fer Scott, we know he will be a bona fide big league pitcher someday but not
in'98. Getting Doug and Stan allows us some flexibility in the bullpen that we have not
had this season."
The Nerz Herders, too, appeared pleased with the trade. They acquired a young building
block in Kotsay who's entering his option year, a pitcher in Mlicki who's in the first
year of his contract and who could have a strong second half as well as a top minor league
thrower in Elarton who they can activate or keep on the farm for further grooming
depending upon his progress in the short term.
6/22/98 Kingston Jamaica
Kingston, Jamaica (AP)--The Smart Alecs announced late Monday night that
they have designated the contract of Dave Mlicki for assignment. By league rules this
means Mlicki must be traded, released or optioned to the minor leagues within 10 days. In
Mlicki's case, he is already currently toiling for the Smart Alecs' AAA club, the Montego
Bay Rastafarians, after faltering in two early season stints with the parent club.
In a prepared statement, Smart Alecs' co-GMs Sly Dunbar & Robbie Shakespeare said that
Mlicki "just didn't provide the consistency this organization was looking for on the
mound and, while it's all too common for teams to fire the manager when things aren't
going well, we believe that our on-field coaching staff has gone above and beyond the call
of duty in working with Dave. The buck stops with him, don't you know."
Mlicki took the news in stride. "Although I'll miss the warm island breezes, I
realize there are eleven other teams in the league who could use my services. Pitching for
any one of them means I'll be back throughout the season."
Nashville 6/12/98
Plans were unveiled today to celebrate the tenth anniversary of the Tennessee Ruxpins first EMOO Championship in 1988. Team officials announced the Ruxpins would wear a commemorative patch throughout the 98 season celebrating the 88 team. Also unveiled was a ceremony before the Ruxpins/Mooners game on July 9th at Ruxpins' Stadium. On that date most members of the 88 team will be in attendance (including present Mooner 1B Andres Gallaraga) for a pre game ceremony honoring the 88 Ruxpins. Some of the key players who will be in attendance include OF Kal Daniels, P Jim Gott, P Pasquel Perez, and P Nolan Ryan.
88 
98
Suns Press Release May 13, 1998:
Jessica Palehorse's newest painting completed for the Sun's Wall of Fame. The subject this
month is the NL player of the month for the month of April, Sun's catcher Mike Piazza.
Nome AK May 7, 1998
Last nights game against the hated Scottnel Suns was perhaps the greatest
pitching performance in Xpress History. Young Xpress pitcher Kerry Wood threw a one hitter
walking none and striking out 20 Suns. The vaunghted Suns offense looked totoally helpless
against Wood. Throwing 120 pitches Wood's fastball was never clocked below 95 MPH and he
broke the 100 MPH barrier on several occasions.Pitching coach Mr. Spock was insightful in
saying "Kerry has taken to my teachings with great enthusiasm and we feel he will be
a dominant pitcher for years to come. In fact we have just started work on possibly his
most devestating pitch the 100MPH Vulcan Death Pitch. This pitch will enhance both his
fastball and curveball making Kerry totally unhittalbe, as the Suns found out today."
Xpress owner
and GM Craig Gill had this to say about Wood's performance "The good guys do win once
in a while. This just goes to show that Suns home grown talent would rather play for a
decent and caring team then for a corporate entity. We got Wood!!!"
Wood's outing compares favorable to former XPress pitcher Dennis Martinez's perfect game 4
years ago and seeing as Wood is but 20 years old may go down as the first of many great
outings in young Kerry Wood's career. The Xpress got Wood!!!!
PRESS RELEASE: SUNS HOMEOFFICE APRIL 15,1998
Jessica Palehorse, a Scottnel resident and former student of LeRoy Nieman, has been
commissioned by the Exxon Oil Corporation to provide a series of paintings of favorite
Sun's players along the walkway leading from the Prince William Sound Harbor to the
entrance of Valdez Park. In tonight's home game against the Mudhens Ms. Palehorse will
unveil the first two paintings in her 1998 series, 1997 Rookie of the Year third basemen
Scott Rolen, and 4 time Cy Young Award winner, Greg Maddux. They are included here as a
sneak preview. Ms. Palehorse will also throw out the first pitch in this evenings matchup.
from the Scottnel Gazzette
April 9, 1998
Sports Page
Page 1, Column 3
Season Dedication
General manager Scott Nelson, of the Scottnel Suns, announced yesterday that the Suns
would dedicate the 1998 season in memory of Brandon Nieves. Brandon was the eight month
old son of outfielder Melvin Nieves who died Tuesday night after a lifetime of fighting
hypoplastic left heart syndrome, a condition that caused the infant to fail to properly
pump blood to the body.
On Easter Sunday, the first game back from the Suns recent road trip, there will be a
moment of silence for the Nieve's child. Starting that same game, and continuing for the
rest of the season, the Suns will wear a special patch on their jerseys sporting the
little boy's initials in memory of Brandon.
Melvin Nieves will not be at the game on Sunday, instead he is with his family in this
time of grief. Nelson granted Nieves a leave of absence until he is ready to return. In a
prepared statement the general manager said, "I want Melvin to know that there are
things in life that are more important than baseball. He doesn't need to worry about money
or losing his job, whenever Melvin is ready to return to the Suns we will have his spot on
the roster waiting for him. The Suns and the citizens of Scottnel share in his loss."
Nieves has been on the disabled list since the start of the season recovering from a
hernia operation, no date has been set for his return.
Smart Alecs Press Release 4/1/98
Kingston, Jamaica (AP)-- In front office news today, the Smart Alecs have
announced the signings of P Shawn Estes and 3B Willie Greene to long term contracts. Estes
penned a deal through the year 2000 for 15 cents while Greene's deal was through 1999 at
13 cents. The signings were the first for new co-G.M.s Sly Dunbar & Robbie Shakespeare
and come with the blessing of owner Alex Wassem. They were also the last of the off-season
contract negotiations to be completed for the ballclub. "In this league, you have to
spend money if you expect to compete," stated Wassem. "The Smart Alecs have
never been afraid to sign players to long term deals if we feel they are quality
individuals on the field as well as quality people off it." Dunbar said that,
"Estes allows us to minimize the anticipated loss of
Denny Neagle and Matt Morris after the 1999 season while Willie, we feel, still has not
yet maxed out his abilities. We would have liked to offer Willie an extra year but
caponomics precluded us from doing so. These two youngsters epitomize what it means to be
Smart Alecs and we are happy to have retained their services beyond '98."
The Smart Alecs also announced that rookie IF Paul Konerko has made the opening day roster
out of spring camp. He has been slotted as a utilityman.
Smart Alecs Press Release 3/30/98
The Smart Alecs announced today the promotion of Assistant General Managers Sly Dunbar and Robbie Shakespeare to co-General Managers, allowing current owner and GM Alex Wassem to focus on the global aspects of team ownership and league business. "With the league in the midst of negotiating a new T.V. contract, I wanted to be able to devote my full energies to seeing that process through. Sly & Robbie have come up through the organization and have proven themselves in contract negotiations and in the overall area of player personnel. Morevover, they are both native Jamaicans and have come to be identified with both the area and the franchise. We are comfortable that the transition will be a seamless one." Dunbar and Shakespeare were originally hired in 1996 after Wassem bought the team and relocated them to Kingston. Each spent a full season in the player development department before being promoted in early 1997 to their current position of assistant GMs.
3/26/98 Smart Alecs' Press Release
After an offseason of difficult negotiations, the Smart Alecs announced
today that they are at an impasse with the agents for outfielders Devon White and Henry
Rodriguez. Not wanting the deadlock to carry over into the regular season, the front
office has decided to terminate negotiations with each of the two outfielders, effectively
allowing each to play out his option with the team after the 1998 season. "It is with
a heavy heart that I inform the faithful fans of Kingston that Henry and
Devo will, in all likelihood, no longer be a part of the Smart Alec family after the '98
season," owner and GM Alex Wassem said. "They have contributed greatly to this
organization over the past two seasons as we'll strived to make the Smart Alecs an EMOO
contender. While others such as Raul Mondesi, Jeff Bagwell and Larry Walker have gotten
the majority of the ink, these two have been an intregal part of our organization and will
be sadly missed. However, in the meantime, it is
our sincerest hope that this, in no way, proves to be a distraction to either them or the
team as a whole and that they come ready to play each and every day that they continue to
wear the Smart Alec uniform."
3/18/98 HoHo Chan Park
Hunchbacks have been recorded as far back as the time of the Greek physician Hippocrates, and have have usually been regarded with a mixture of suspicion and fear, as illustrated by the character Quasimodo in the novel Notre-Dame de Paris. Other hunchbacks, however, have achieved success and renown. A notable example was the German-American electrical engineer Charles Proteus Steinmetz. But as they broke from their spring training facility HoHo Chan Park, some Hunchbacks were conspicuous by there absence. The following players did not make the trip back to Rouen: Jason Isringhausen, Pat Cline, Brian McRae, Barry Larkin and fan favorite Scarborough Greene. To them we bid a fond adieu....Jason Isringhausen, Pat Cline, Brian McRae, Barry Larkin and fan favorite Scarborough Greene. To them we bid a fond adieu....
Old-Timer
(Age 22)
At Third
By George F. Will
Washington Post Writers Group
3/17/98 Xpress press release
Curt Shilling 20 '99
Ramon Martinez 20 '99
Todd Stottlmyre 20 '99
Bob Abreu 15 '99
These players were signed by the Xpress with the intent to make a push for the 1999 league
championship. These players will be anchors for the Xpress for the next 2 years. Owner
Craig Gill stated "Alaska needs a winner and the Xpress are positioning themselves to
be the team to beat for the next 2 years. These signings will lead the Xpress to the
pennant Alaska so desperately wants and will put the Xpress back into the upper echelon of
the EMOO League." Also announced at the press conference was the release of Kevin
Jordan.
3/14/98 Smart Alecs' press release
Kingston, Jamaica (AP)-- The Smart Alecs today announced the signings of Neifi Perez
and Ugueth Urbina to long term contracts. Perez and Urbina, both of whom were selected in
the Smart Alecs' initial Ultra draft in 1996, are two of only five remaining members of
the original Smart Alecs 1996 opening day 40 man roster, the others being Jeff Bagwell,
Henry Rodriguez and Devon White. Perez and Urbina each were rewarded for their past
season's performances with 3 yr. contracts through 2000. Urbina will earn $15 per season
while Perez will earn $12 each year. In a statement released by the club, GM Alex Wassem
said that "We feel
Neifi is one of the top young shortstops in the National League and that he is capable of
taking full advantage of our spacious outfield dimensions while Ugueth gives us an up and
coming closer capable of slamming the door on the opposition. The Alecs are dedicated to
rewarding our top players for their efforts on the field as a part of our goal to continue
maintaining a viable entertainment option for our dedicated fanbase and giving them a
winning product on the field. Toward that end, we also anticipate concluding negotiations
with a couple other players in the near future." Wassem was asked what effect, if
any, playing in Kingston had on luring
potential free agents to sign with the ballclub. "I'd be lying if I said it wasn't an
advantage. The warm temperatures and beaches speak for themselves. After playing in Alaska
for a few years with the Midnite Xpress or Scottnel Suns, many players' bodies are ready
to escape to warmer climates. While we're not sure where either of the new expansion teams
will eventually locate, we feel confident that Kingston and nearby Trenchtown compare
favorably with other cities in the league." Neither Perez nor Urbina were present at
the signing to take questions. They were attending the annual Kingston surfboarding
championships.
3/12/98 Strangers' press release
During an early evening session of backgammon between the Wayfarin' Strangers and Smart Alecs, a trade was born. The Smart Alecs with their eye on the EMOO championship in 1998, re-acquired hometown favorite and all around ROTO stud Jeff Bagwell. In acquiring Bags from the Strangers, the Alecs had to part with a little piece of their future, Derrick Lee & Jeremi Gonzalez. The Strangers meanwhile seem to be playing for the future. The Alecs concerned about finding a quality 1st sacker in the draft decided to re-acquire Bags. Although the pitching staff looks a little thin right now, Alecs President Alex Wassem said.. "Please, there are plenty of quality penny pitchers out there, my track record speaks for itself!!" In addition to the trade, Stangers President & Chairman of the Board, Eric WIdtfeldt announced that they have re-signed Derrick Lee for an additional 2 years.
3/1/98 Hunchbacks press release?
They say it couldn't be done.
They say it shouldn't be done.
They say they change e-mail addresses more than players.
They say when they heard, women fell to there knees and wept openly.
They say they had a dream. A vision. A premonition.
They say it would happen when pigs could fly.
They say it would happen when hell freezes over, or when Gill wins in this
league.
They say Chewbacca should have been a Hunchback.
They say they would have gotten away with it, if not for those meddling kids.
They say "Are you Jimmy Ray?"
They say "If not now, when?"
They say "If they prick us, do we not bleed?"
They say Chewbacca would have hit .340 in Hunchback stadium.
2/19/98 Bob Gibson a Hunchback??
Hall of Fame pitcher Bob Gibson was rumored to have met today with Dainty Hunchbacks owner Scott Collins. Speculation is that Collins is attempting to hire Gibson as the Hunchbacks pitching coach. When reached for comment neither Gibson or Collins would confirm or deny the rumor.
from the SCOTTNEL GAZZETTE
Sports Section, page 1, column 3
February 9, 1998
Native Sun Returns
All-Star Pitcher and Cy-Young award winner Greg Maddux will once again wear a Scottnel
Suns uniform. It began in a day that saw Tony Womack being sent to the dreaded Mooners for
Pitcher John Smoltz, and then Smoltz and Pitcher Francisco Cordova packaged together and
sent to the Flyers for Maddux and third baseman Edgardo Alfonzo. It seems Maddux and the
Suns are made for one another. In 1996, Maddux pitched through his contract year and
entered the EMOO draft as a potential free agent, only to see his contract bought right
back up again by General Manager Scott Nelson, for well over his original salary. Many in
Scottnel cheered as Maddux once again doffed the Sun emblazoned cap and went about buying
a house for his wife and family in nearby Anchorage. Those same fans wept out loud as they
saw Maddux traded away last year in the Suns rebuilding efforts, although the golden arm
of Maddux did net in Chipper Jones and starting center fielder Andruw Jones. And in what
may be the most shining movement of all is the return of the favored Sun to that very
team. It seems that the best pitcher of the modern age and general manager Scott Nelson
are to be forever linked in trying to bring winning ball to the citizen's of Alaska.
Maddux may continue building that dream-house in Anchorage. In an interview with this
reporter last night Maddux said he would like to end his career in Scottnel. He understood
the reason for the trade last year, and he is happy he can return to the team that he in
more ways than one helped put on the map.
2/5/98
Today the Smart Alecs announced they will have two different cap logos for the 98 season. Team owner/GM Alex Wassem announced they will wear one cap at home and one on the road. "I'm into capitalizing on the merchandising sales. It helps to defray from the high cost of player salaries. And I have to tell ya, our accounting staff anticipates they're going to sell like hotcakes in '98. It helps to have a winning product on the field--which the entire organization fully expects to be the case," stated Wassem.
(Home)
(Road)
DateLine: February 1st, 1998. Rouen, France.
In an effort to accumulate French players, the Dainty Hunchbacks traded Eric Karros, Chris Gomez, and Desi Relaford to KittyHawk for Moises Alou. It is said that Alou is not French, but the Hunchback office has photos of him strolling the streets of Montreal wearing a beret and eating french fries.......Upon being traded Alou asked "Is that whine country?"
Flying High The Official KittyHawk Flyers Newsletter 1/13/98
First Base and Third Base Coaches Signed:
The Flyers are pleased to announce that contracts have been tendered to First
Base Coach - Rick "The Nature Boy" Flair and Third Base Coach - Randy "The
Macho Man" Savage.
Flyers official statement on the unorthadox hirings:
"The 1997 Flyers lacked confidence and mental toughness. We believe the
addition of Savage and Flair, will bring this to our team. Whooo!!!!"
Modifications to Wright Field:
While the Flyers were playing the remainder of the 1997 season at the KittyHawk
Municipal Softball complex, drastic remodeling took place at
Wright Field. Modifications include :
- The Contruction of a two mile NASCAR track that will
be added to the Winston Cup Series; - The Outfield wall will be replaced with turnbuckles
and ropes. - A three foot trench has been dug behind the ropes. This trench has been paved
over with concrete. Located in this trench will be the announcer tables and folding
chairs. Hope to see you there!!!!!!
From The Xpress Press 1/7/98 Nome Ak
In an effort to improve marketing prospects for the Xpress owner Craig Gill announced
today a new logo for the team, and a new spelling of the team name. The team will now be
called Midnite Xpress. "This move is being made to increase our market appeal to the
great citizens of Alaska. It is felt that the new logo and spelling will complement the
new attitude of the team and project well into the next millennium. We would like to thank
all those who submitted logo designs. The new design was produced by Lori Courtney and
emphasizes the teams push to the next century."
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