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Dropping an old fear … just like that. by Tonya L. Tyler

Know what? I’ve decided to stop being afraid of snakes.

Yep, just like that, I’ve decided to drop my 40-plus-year-old habit of herpephobia. That doesn’t mean I’m going to go out and buy a boa constrictor or start hanging out at the reptile house at the local zoo, but I will now be able to watch The Crocodile Hunter all the way through without cringing, covering my eyes or changing the channel when Steve goes after a big monster snake.

Is it possible to drop an old fear … just like that? Yes, it is! What prompted my decision? I was at my family reunion a couple of weeks ago, and I brought along my little terrier, Spotty, because he’s part of my family, too. I was astonished and, frankly, annoyed, at the number of people — both adults and children — who spotted Spotty and promptly shied away from him. They were afraid of dogs and that was that. There was no convincing them that there was nothing to fear from Spotty.

One little girl, who went into near hysterics if Spotty just happened to look at her, was particularly irritating. She wouldn’t even take the chance to approach Spotty. She would have found him affectionate, adorable and soft, but she preferred to run screaming at the very sight of this one little dog who just wanted to have fun at the picnic, too. I judged her harshly until I turned around and looked at myself.

I acted just as silly as she did when it came to snakes. I know snakes can be dangerous and they’re creepy, but really, what has a snake ever done to me? Has one ever bitten me? No. Have I ever even touched one? No. But long ago, I made an assumption that snakes were to be feared, and so I feared them. I wonder if I looked as asinine in my unfounded fear of snakes as my family did in their fear of Spotty. I don’t want to look asinine. And so I simply — just like that — decided to stop being afraid of snakes.

I called my fear a habit. And that’s basically what fear is — a habit you’ve talked yourself into. When you tell yourself over the years that you’re afraid of something, you eventually come to believe it deep down in your soul. And you convince yourself there is nothing you can do to get rid of your fear. You resign yourself to live with it, even if it makes you look asinine.

But, as I’ve learned, if you can talk yourself into a habit — or a fear — you can talk yourself out of it. Stepping back, looking at it objectively — facing it — refusing to let yourself be defined by a phobia: These are the steps to conquering fear. It won’t always be an instant alteration, of course; sometimes these things take time. That makes sense because it took time for you to build up your fear.

To defuse your fear, you can tell yourself that you will no longer let fear rule your thoughts or your life. Paul wrote in II Timothy, “God has not given us the spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” Fear doesn’t come from God. Giving in to fear, in a way, denies God the privilege of taking care of us. It means we don’t trust God enough. “Perfect love casts out fear.” And God is perfect love. If you are a child of God, you have no reason — or right! — to be afraid of anything.

I’m sorry it took me so long to figure this out. Sometimes the curtain of fear blinds us to other possibilities. It’s a power thing: Fear wants to control us, and it lets go of us only reluctantly. But you can break fear’s power, just as I did. Just like that.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got to go. The Crocodile Hunter is about to come on, and it’s a monster snake marathon.

Tonya L. Tyler [email protected] 8/6/03

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