Emerging Courageous Online Magazine

Emerging Courageous Online Magazine - Poetry

PAIN by Marilyn Dixon Pfanstiel

Although the body can be crippled with searing pain it is not always outwardly apparent.
The pain can be minimal and tolerable or exacerbated until it becomes unbearable.
Sometimes it is just a nudge, a nagging irritant that reminds you it is there.
Other times it is an aggrevating discomfort that arouses your attention you try to ignore.
Then there are the times it is impossible to ignore and it captures your full attention.
These are the times you wonder if you can handle the pain anymore.
As you suffer the discomfort, you may cry out in pain, "God, why me?"
You may have a "pity party" feeling sorry for yourself at the moment.
You might feel discouraged or frustrated or even angry...at yourself or even God
questioning why He is making you suffer so. You plead with Him,"God, help me!"
"Why do I have to suffer so?" "Please take the pain away!" you cry out in despair.
At this point your feelings overwhelm you and tears well up as the pain increases.
Feelings of sadness, helplessness, despair override reason.
You want to curl up in a little ball crying, wanting to pull a cover over your head
making the painful world disappear, hoping when you awaken everything will be okay.
This is when you feel like the little child;
completely helpless with no one there to help you.
You go into another world trying to find a place of peace and tranquility.
In this place there is no pain or discomfort and you are okay.
You try to imagine this beautiful place and you see all the beauty around you.
Everything here is serene and lovely music surrounds your being.
Whether it be "your secret garden", the ocean or the stream at the farm
this peaceful scene begins to bring peace and calm to your mind.
You can finally fall asleep and enjoy the tranquil scene.
When you awaken, you notice the pain has dissipated, and is tolerable.
You come back to reality and go on with life realizing you have to put up with the pain.
"You'll just have to live with it (the pain)", is what you have been told.
So you put on a smile, straighten up your back, pretend everything is okay and go on...
(But it's not okay).

Marilyn Dixon Pfanstiel 2/24/2000
[email protected]
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