| " Through the Eyes of a child" By Spanky Part Two Rated R Content Warning: Mentioned Child abuse towards Johnny Previously: Roy and Johnny meets Chris's friend Becka Author notes None Knocking softly, Chris hoped that Becka was feeling better. He had been worried when Mrs. Johnson had said she was sick and had offered to take her her school work so he could check on her. " What do you want?" Buck Williams snarled at the sight of the young boy on his porch. " I'm a friend of Becka's and since she wasn't in school today, I brought her her work, and wanted to see how she was , and to aske if she could come to my birthday party and...." Chris DeSoto was spitting out nervously. " She's fine, she'll be back in school Monday. I'll take her school work and I doubt if she can come to your damn party, now leave." Mr. Williams growled slamming the door in Chris's face. " Who was that daddy?" Becka asked once her father had closed the door. " Some boy from your class, he brought your school work and wanted to know if you would come to his birthday party." Becka's father snapped while slamming the hard books into her enough to cause her pain. " Can I go?" She asked fearfully. Buck Williams didn't know what to do. He knew that if he kept refusing to let Becka do things, and kept her home from school to often some busy body would start asking questions just like in the last town." You can go, but if you say one word about what really happened to your face you'll be sorry."Mr. Williams threatened menacingly. " I won't , I promise daddy." Becka said running up the stairs to pick out an outfit for the party .......... Becka had dressed carefully for the party wanting Chris to think she looked nice. With a nervous smile she walked into the DeSoto's back yard. Fearfully she looked around at all the people there." Becka you came." Chris shouted with joy running over to her. " Hi Chris, I didn't know there was going to be all these people." Becka whispered nervously "They're just the guys my dad works with." Chris said " Hey Beck, what happened to your face?" Johnny asked as he reached Chris and Becka. He had noticed Becka's face the minute she had walked in "It's nothing, I'm really clumsy and I fell." Becka said nervously. " Are you sure that's what happened?" Johnny asked reaching out to check Becka's face. Moving back from Johnny Becka looked around fearfully. " Chris this wasn't such a good idea, I have to go." Becka said moving towards the gate. Her father would be mad if someone found out. She had to get out of there before Mr. Gage asked her anymore questions. " Becka wait please." Johnny called going after Becka. He didn't know how he knew but he knew she didn't fall. Once Johnny reached the front of the house he stopped short as he saw a very large man grab Becka's arm and force her into a car. " Back off buddy and let the girl go." Johnny spit with anger seeing the fear in Becka's eyes " It's okay Mr. Gage, this is my father." Becka said as she tried to stop her tears. " Well if your're her father , you'd better take her to a doctor, she's going to need exrays on her face." Johnny told Willams authoritatively. " Just who do you think you are to give me orders and what did she tell you about her face?" Williams growled glaring first at Johnny and then at Becka. " She claims she fell, but I don't think that's what happened. I'm a paramedic and I"m trained to notice these things." Johnny said feeling his anger and fear building. " Well Mr. Paramedic, I think if you know what's good for you you'll start minding your own business." Williams snarled as he took a step towards Johnny raising his fist in a threating manner. Johnny toook an involuntary step backwards and panic filled his eyes. He could feel the cold sweat running down his back and his stomach was rising into his throat. Normally he would never be afraid , but he was and he didn't know why. with a laugh, Buck Williams stopped and studied the young man in front of him. He would have never suspected to see that look in someone his age's eyes but it had been there. Panic had filled every ounce of the guys eyes as he had advanced on him and he had seen that look that he often seen on his daughters face cross the young man's face. That look was fear." Something tells me you got some secrets hiding way down deep boy. If you don't want me to help you relive that fear again mind your own business." Williams sneered at Johnny then turned and got into his car. " Johnny what was that all about, what secrets do you have?" Roy asked Johnny quietly. He had seen the entire confrontation between Johnny and Williams. Turning, Johnny stared mutely at Roy for a moment before rushing to the curb to vomit. " No more please." Johnny whispered collapsing to his knees. " Johnny?" Roy called stepping towards his friend. He had been startled to see the look of fear plain on Johnny's face when he had turned and looked at him. He stopped when Johnny's back stiffened and he pulled forward. ...Two Weeks Later....... " Good morning." Roy called out stopping short in order to study his partner and friend who stood in fron of the counter holding a cup of coffee. Johnny was beyond exhausted it showed in every line of his face. He was pale and his eyes were so rimmed with dark circles they looked blackened. His eye's were closed and Roy realized that it was with great effort that Johnny was standing on his feet. With a sigh Roy quietly approached Johnny and layed his hand on his partner's back " You okay Johnny?" He asked with concern. Startled Johnny flew back away from Roy's touch . With a gasp his eye's came open and darted around the kitchen nervously. " What's with him? He's been acting like that since he came in here this morning. " Chet asked Roy in a whisper. Glancing at Johnny he noticed that his eyes had closed again and that his coffee cup was now tilted downwards far enough to spill " Hey Gage, you going to wear that coffee or drink it?" Chet asked reaching over and pushing the bottom of Johnny's cup upwards. With a panicked gasp. Johnny dropped his coffee cup and backed away from Chet. In his mind he was no longer in the kitchen at station 51, but rather in the kitchen of a small ranch in Montana. Once again he was eight years old and facing a very enraged Morris Gage. " Why you good for nothing son of a bitch, how would you like to be wearing that coffee." He heard his Uncle screaming at him just before he shoved the mug of steaming liquid into young Johnny's bare chest. " Oh God no please don't , dont come near me." Johnny screamed as he pushed past Roy and Chet and fled from the room. Hank Stanley stood in the doorway in shock as Johnny ran by." What the hell happened in here?" He demanded to know. " I'm not sure Capt , I'll go make sure he's okay." Roy said shaken by his partners actions. Entering the locker room, Roy found Johnny sitting inside his locker, his knees drawn up to his chest. He had his arms wrapped around them tightly and his face was buried in his arms. His body shook uncontrolably. " Hey Johnny." Roy called softley not wanting to startle his very frightened partner. when he received no responce he took a step towards Johnny's locker With a gasp, Johnny drew his knees tighter to his chest and whimpered in fear. " No don't , just stay away." Johnny's voice was so small and frightened that it was barely audiable. " Easy buddy, I just wnat to make sure your okay." Roy said soothingly. " I'm fine." Johnny gasped stopping to swallow back his tears. " Please leave me alone." Johnny beggedAs he heard the locker room door close Johnny gave inot the sobs that were controlling him. the memory had been so real that it was tearing him apart. " Oh God why am I so afraid." He whimpered. Roy stopped just outside the door and listened as Johnny gave into tears. With tears of his own he went back into the kitchen .....Two Hours Later.... Two hours later Johnny came back into the dayroom, his head was down and his shoulders stooped. " Chet , Roy I'm sorry for screaming at you like that." Johnny whispered not raising his head " Hey that's okay man, no harm done." Chet said reaching out and slapping Johnny on the back. With a terrified gasp, Johnny shot into the corner throwing his hands up over his head he began to shake all over again " Real smooth Chet." Roy snarled stepping in front of Johnny he spoke as soothingly as possible. " Johnny come on buddy relax, no one is going to hurt you. " It took several minutes but Johnny's shaking finally slowed and then stopped. Dropping his arms he closed his eye's in embarrassament. " I'm sorry.... I.....don't .... know... what's wrong... with... me.... I guess.. I'm just..... tired." Johnny stuttered out. " You don't have to be sorry pal, Why don't you go lay down in the dorm for a while." Captain Stanley said compassionatly. Very slowly Johnny made his way to the dorm. He had just cleared the room when all eyes turned toward Roy. " Roy , do you know what's going on here Pal?" Captain Stanley asked not even trying to hide his worry. Roy sank into a chair at the table and sighed." Capt. I'm not sure really, what I am sure of is that Johnny is afraid of someone or something. He only stutters when he's upset or scared, and from the way he reacted to my touch and Chet's , I'd say he was scared. Earlier this morning after the coffe cup incident I went into the locker room to talk to him and I found him curled up inside his locker. He was....." Roy never got the chance to finish as Johnny's screams of terror rang out. ...... Johnny was locked in another nightmare and didn't know how to make it stop. In this one, Morris Gage was going to teach him a lesson for accidentaly ruining a pack of cigars. " I'll teach you to be so clumsy you worthless half breed." Morris growled as he grabbed Johnny and began to drag him towards the bathroom. " No, no.. no ....please I'll be more careful." Young Johnny begged knowing what would happen in the bathroom. He pulled frantically at his Uncle's arm trying to escape. Pushing Johnny into the bathroom, Morris Gage gave the boy a sick smile and then laid his lit cigar against Johnny's bare leg. "NOOOOOOO........" Johnny screamed in agony bolting upwards on his bunk. Roy rushed to his side and grabbed his flailing arms before he could hurt himself. With a whimper, Johnny pulled away from Roy and curled into the corner of his bunk." No....no.....no.....no....please don't hurt me anymore." Johnny sobbed still caught in his nightmare. " Johnny come on buddy your okay. No one will hurt you, I promise." Roy said soothingly reaching his hand out tentatively towards Johnny's back. On contact Johnny screamed and drew further into the corner of the bunk. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to do it." He cried. " Shhhhh.... I know you didn't and everything will be alright." Roy kept saying over and over until he could tell that his words were sinking into Johnny's terror filled mind. Very gently Roy laid Johnny down onto his side and began to rub his back. Just as Johnny was slipping into deep slumber Roy heard him mumble. " No more please. I can't take anymore." ...... Several hours later........ Johnny woke up and made his way to the rec room, he was nervous and agitated and didn't know why. " Feel better Johnny?" Mike asked " Yeah, yeah. " Johnny said as he paced around the room letting his eyes dart nervously. " Hey John, we saved you some dinner, Why don't you sit down and I'll get it for you." Marco offered hoping to get Johnny dropped into a chair. within seconds his leg started to bounce up and down in agitation and he moved around in his chair nervouly. Scowling at Johnnym Marco growled. " Jesus Gage sit still. What's the matther with you? it's bad enough that we've only had one run today, and that this rain is keeping us cooped up inside, without haveing you bouncing all over the room." Without answering, Johnny resumed his nervous pacing. He made one more trip around the rec room and then would drop back down into his chair and bounce his leg up and down. By the thrid trip around the room he had added drumming his fingers, keeping in perfect tempo with his bouncing leg. Glancing at Marco, Johnny frowned and got back up out of his chair to make another pass around the room. " I said give it a break." Marco growled again ready to explode if Johnny made one more noise." That's it, I'm going to tie you into that chair if it's the only way to keep you down." Marco snapped grabbing a dish towel he advanced on Johnny Johnny swung towards Marco as if realizing for the first time that he was in the room. His face paled and he took several steps backwards. In front of Johnny no longer stood his friend Marco Lopez with a dish towel in his hands. but instead he saw Morris Gage with a rope in his hand. The memories of the day his Uncle had tied him to a chair and then beat him until he couldn't move flooded Johnny's mind " Don't touch me." Johnny whispered moving back more from Marco, With a glare Marco took another step towards Johnny. " I mean it , touch me again and I'll kill ya." Johnny spat as fire and fear fought for dominance in his eyes. With a final look at Marco he stormed out of the day room pushing Roy and Captain Stanley in the process. All eyes followed Johnny's retreating foot steps with a mix of shock and anger. " I never touched him." Marco said with obvious anger over being threatened by Johnny. " Marco please let me talk to him, something's wrong, very wrong. I'm sure he didn't mean what he said and will apologize when he calms down. " Roy half promised as he left the room once again in search of his partner. Roy's first stop was the locker room, not finding Johnny there he headed for the dorm. As he pushed the door open he could hear Johnny sobbing. Going fully into the room Roy stopped and his heart broke for Johnny. He was curled up on his right side in the fetal position with his face buried into his pillow as he wept. " Johnny , you alright?" Roy asked once again that day. It was several minutes before Johnny's voice barely audible ansered " No." " Please Johnny what is it." Roy asked Sitting up, Johnny forced a smile and turned towards Roy." Nothing's wrong Roy, I'm just great, I feel fine." Johnny lied as he jumped up off his bunk and pushed his way past Roy. Reaching out Roy grabbed Johnny's arm. " Don't." Johnny cried pulling from Roy' grasp and backing away. " Johnny, I thought we were better friends then that. I thought you could trust me enough to talk to me." Roy said softly. " There's nothing to talk about really Roy." Johnny said rushing for the dorm door. " John if your sick maybe you should go see Dr. Brackett, I'll go with you." Roy suggested " There's nothing Brackett can do for me. Johnny said becoming panicked. " He's a very good doctor you know that Johnny maybe he can help." Roy said coaxingly. " No one can help me Roy." Johnny whispered as he walked out of the dorm. Now for the first time in the last three weeks Roy replayed Chris's words over in his head. Uncle Johnny won't tell you the truth about being sick and hi's afraid of you. Was Johnny afraid of him.? TBC |