12/05/00 10:50AM - I'm doing everything I can to procrastinate and not think about finals. I don't think this is a good sign. My sister is already asking me about graduation. Ummm.. What if I don't graduate this year? Not a good thing. I am just not happy with school and what I'm going anymore. As Scarlett O'Hara would say: " I'll think about that later." I need to burn some of the songs I got off Napster onto a CD. These are song I've been searching for, for..ever... and now that I have them I can only listen to them form my desktop. *sigh*
I probably should head back to the library now and be a good student. Sometimes being so good is bad, and being bad is good. This is one of those moments. What I'd give just to be bad a bit longer. I just keep repeating to myself : "It's only till Thursday... It's only till Thursday..." I guess it was a bad sign that I'm already looking forward to summer, isn't it?
12/04/00 12:25PM - This weekend was not overly great or anything. I wasted my morings away sleeping in, and if I wasn't working, I was at school studying. As a matter of fact, I'm headed that way shorlty. *sigh* my life doesn't change much does it?
"Do you have a boyfriend yet?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because I haven't found anyone worthy of me yet."
"Don't tell me you have a girlfriend."
"Don't worry mom, I like boys..I just haven't found one yet."
Do you think my mom is trying to tell me something??? I've thought about getting into a relationship, I have thought about dating, I just haven't found anyone yet that is compatible with me. I refuse to settle. It's not so bad being single, really. It gets lonely sometimes when you just want to talk to someone late at night, or just have a cup of tea with a freind (when shedules are so incompatible), but I think I've made the right decision. I'm not settling. Look what happened last time. *smirk* It's been over 2 years... Perhaps it's time to look at the menu. I can just take my time ordering.
Emily and I went shopping for a little bit yesterday before we hit the library. I treated myself and bought two packets of those powdered facial tissue thingys, and a little tin of coconut scented massage oil. mmmm... yummy! I also got a lemonade. I've had cravings for food and bread lately. Weird.
I posted my new poems. They're ok..not great masterpieces or anything. They are a bit more on the mature side, but hey! I can't keep writing cheezy love sonnets forever. Perhaps I'll hone my writing skills over X-mas break. Suuuure I will....
I need to still buy things for my grandparents and my dad for X-mas! After finals... After finals...
12/02/00 1:43PM - I have been the crankiest person lately. I'm just tired... Really, really, tired. I can't wait for today to be over. When I get work out of the way, I can just study until my finals on Thurs (with the exception of my short shift on Wed). Fri night and last night I got a lot of sleep. I closed my eyes and slept for a bout 12 hours on Fri (1AM-1PM), and 9 hours last night (4AM-1PM). Ahhh... Refreshing? Not really. I'm kinda pissed off at myself because it's another day wasted and I could have totally done research this morning on for my paper. Oh well. Once Thurs comes around, I'll be free! Yippee!
Feeling very uncreative for the past few years, I've written a few poems. I'm trying to work on a sonnet, but it's not coming along very well. I'll post them up... eventually... Ha! I totally lag.
I finished one of my finals the other day for my Latin dance class. It was so much fun watching other groups perform. My group's performance (surprisingly) went off with out a hitch. I think we even got a perfect score. I bootlegged a copy of the tape from one of my friends. It would be cool if I could figure out how to put movies up on the web, but I'm not that tech saavy, so you'll just have to take my word for it.
There was so much more I wanted to write, but It's not coming to me now. I should jot the stuff down when I think of them, but we all know I'm too lazy to do that. You'll just all have to keep trying to figure out the way my mind works.
11/27/00 12:34AM - Sleepy... Tired... Cold... Not a good combination. Sometimes I find that I really want someone to talk to, but have nobody there to listen. How sad. Perhaps it's time for me to get a boyfriend. At least I don't have to have an excuse to wake his ass up. HAHAHA... ok.. I REALLY must be sleeping now.. I'm getting delerious!
11/26/00 11:49PM - As you can probably tell from my last entry, I have been listening to Dido's "Thank You" a lot lately. It's a wonderful song. I really should buy the CD. The song speaks to me somehow, it is both haunting and comforting at the same time. Is that really possible? I bought the Eminem's "Marshall Mathers" CD the other day. I keep listening to "Stan" over and over again. Dido's chorus is in that song..so I guess it's not surprising that I'm addicted to that song as well. It's a great song, and the lyrics and the music are well composed - It's apparent to me that Eminem has a lot of talent and a lot of things to express. I just hope that society will listen to what he has to say...and that he will allow for his voice to be heard in the future.
"I simply need more than good conversation.
I need something that's forever today.
I need a man who can show me the patience,
To be with me though it all - to stay....
I need more than physical satisfaction.
I need something that will always be mine.
I need you baby to show me the patience,
To be with me though it all - for all times..." - Pinay "Is it Real"
I'm torn between doing something new and exciting.. versus the old and comfortable. Am I really ready to turn another chapter in my book of life? I think it's mostly my priorities and obligations holding back. Perhaps it's time to re-arrange things? Perhaps I'll have to wait until school ends. Then again, I always seem to be waiting for something, aren't I?
I'm looking forward to NY. it is only a few weeks away. *GASP* The more I visit...the more I want to stay. Eventually I'll go and never come home. I have to call up a freind and see if he is going to be able to make it. Perhaps I should try e-mail? Maybe I should go do that now.... Oh yes! I must also buy wool socks. I don't want my poor toes to get cold.
A lot of things have been frustrating me lately. Mostly having to do with school and the certain people in my life. I don't enjoy being told what to do, especially in a setting where everything is supposedly "democratic." I think eventually there will always be leaders and followers.. every once in a while there will be someone with some backbone to stand up to an oppressor. Until then.... we're all sheep. baaaaaa.... I only have to put up with it for one more week anyway. How comforting.
I really need to stop procrastinating. Deadlines are getting closer and I'm getting nowhere with my papers. *sigh* If only I had no morals and could pay someone to write for me..or perhaps plagarize someone's work. Damn ethics! If not for them..life would be so much more easy and fun. Oh well. At least my parents can rest easy knowing they've raised their daughter well! =)