jokes3

A sailor meets a pirate in a bar. The pirate has a peg leg, a hook,
and an eye patch. "How'd you end up with a peg leg?" asks the sailor.

"I was swept overboard in a storm," says the pirate. "A shark bit off
me whole leg."

"Wow!" said the sailor. "What about the hook?"

"We were boarding an enemy ship, battling the other seamen with swords.
One of them cut me hand clean off."

"Incredible!" remarked the sailor. "And the eye patch?"

"A seagull dropping fell in me eye," replied the pirate.

"You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?" the sailor asked
incredulously.

Said the pirate, "It was me first day with the hook."

A married couple was planning to go on vacation in Key West, Florida.
The man went down first, while the wife was finishing up a business
meeting in New York City. The husband arrived and decided to email
his wife to tell her he arrived in Key West.

After he typed his message, he accidentally typed in the wrong email
address. The email went to a woman who was grieving over her recently
deceased husband. The grieving woman checked her email, read the man?s
letter, then passed out cold. Her daughter came in and looked at the
computer screen. It read:

Honey,
This is your husband. I just wanted to tell you I got here OK, and I
have all your bags checked in and ready for you to get here tonight
so we can be together.

P.S. It sure is hot down here.