jokes2

A man had been feeling sick for quite some time and finally decided to
see a doctor. The doctor came out and told the patient that he has some
bad news to share. "You are going to die," he said.

"When will I die?" the patient asked.

"Ten," the doctor replied.

The patient, wondering, asked, "Ten what? Years, months, days ...? Tell
me doc, I gotta know."

"Nine," the doctor said.

A 55 year old man who was born on May 5,
has been married 5 years, has 5 children,
makes $55,555.55 a year, who's lucky number is 5
receives a phone call from a friend.

The friend informs the man that a horse named Lucky 5
will be running in the fifth race at the local track that evening.

Excitedly, the man withdraws 5,555.00 cash from his
bank account, goes to the races and bets on Lucky 5.

Sure enough the horse comes in fifth.

A man was at a bar one night and saw a beautiful redhead
sitting in the booth opposite him. After about 5 minutes,
he got up the guts to go talk to her. Just as he sat down,
she sneezed and her glass eye flew out from her socket.

On reflex, the guy shot out his arm and caught her eye and
gave it back to her. They started talking and the redhead
invited the man to go to a movie with her, then go back to
her place for a nightcap. In the morning, she cooked him a
big breakfast of bacon and eggs and the man said, "Why are
you being incredibly nice to me? Is this the way you treat
all men who start talking to you?"

The redhead replied, "No, you just happened to catch my eye!"