upto and incl June 30th, 2008
Boris Johnson
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| The First Half of 08 Reviewed upto and incl June 30th, 2008 |
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| Terminal 5 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Terminal 5 at Heathrow opened in typical British style, i.e, chaos. There were delays a-plenty and people's luggage went missing. It was enough to turn the usually meek and mild into raving lunatics, see here. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Boris Johnson | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| People are always trying to work out the differences between the North and South. Nothing sums up the difference more in my opinion than Boris Johnson becoming London Mayor. There's not one northern city that would have this bumbling idiot representing them. I happened to mention this to one touchy southerner, who mentioned that Hartlepool once elected a mayor who was a man in a monkey suit. He may have a point but if I'm being totally honest I'd happily take an actual monkey ahead of Boris Johnson |
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| Austria | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| The big news in Austria was all to do with Josef Fritzl. He was the man who locked up his daughter Elisabeth for 24 years, raped her, had 7 children by her, one of which died, and he promptly incinerated the body. This story was only uncovered because one of the dungeon children, Kerstin, managed to escape to a hospital to be treated for kidney failure. At one point it was thought she wouldn't make it, but thankfully she pulled through. And when she eventually came out of her coma, one of her wishes was to see Robbie Williams in concert (see here), which begs the question has the poor girl not suffered enough??? | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Diana | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| The inquest into the death of Diana ended by laying the blame on the chauffeur, Henry Paul. Mohammed Al Fayed said he would accept the decision and drop his case from this point forward. Call me old-fashioned but it was always going to be difficult to prove Prince Phillip (the husband of the Queen), was behind the murder of Princess Diana. However I did notice that after Al Fayed announced he wasn't going to proceed with legal action, (Fulham the football club he owns) made a miraculous escape from relegation from the Premiership. All I have to say is one word.....CONSPIRACY!!! | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| John Prescott | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| John Prescott revealed in his book that he suffered with bulimia for a number of years whilst he was in the cabinet. Bulimia is obviously a serious subject; from my understanding it's where you gorge yourself on food and then throw it back up, resulting in dramatic weight loss. Looking at Mr Prescott, I can't help thinking that he was only 'half bulimic'. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Barack and Hillary | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| The race between Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton� to see who was going to represent the Democrats at the US Elections seemed to take forever to conclude. Experts would come on the radio and TV and give their predictions but I don't even think they knew what was going on because it was a clearly made up system. For example, Barack would win 10 States in a row and then Hillary would win 1 and the experts would say 'it's neck and neck'. What mucked up system is that? They need a more straight forward system, maybe like the one in Zimbabwe, where no matter who wins the election, Robert Mugabe wins. Now that's democracy! | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Heather Mills | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| The big divorce settlement took place between Heather and Paul McCartney. After the case ended with Heather �24m better off she went on to have a proper rant about the fact that their 4 year old daughter will only receive �34 000 a year and will be forced to travel round the world in B Class. But for me, the real low point was that all these divorce lawyers came out of the woodwork, claiming that if Heather had used their services instead of representing herself she would have secured more money. Nothing annoys me more than people trying to profiteer from the end of a relationship, see here. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Jeremy Beadle | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Jeremy Beadle passed away earlier this year. I have to admit I was a bit of a fan of Beadle. 'Beadle's About' was genuinely funny and got millions of viewers, and 'You've been Framed' was the pre-cursor to YouTube. Despite this, in recent years all his achievements seem to have been overshadowed by people concentrating on his small hand. I just hope that after my ultimate demise people don't keep banging on about my abnormally large penis. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Football | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| THe end of the footbal season saw a mighty Eoropean clash between 160 000 (drunk) Glasgow Rangers fans and the Greater Manchester police (I know who I was supporting). The main trouble started when the big screen, that was supposed to show the match in Manchester City Centre broke down. Apparently it was due to technical problems, see here. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| The Credit Crunch and Knife Crime | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| The two big talking points of the first half of 08 have been the credit crunch and knife crime. I've cleverly avoided the credit crunch affecting me by not having any money. For example, before the credit crunch, I couldn't afford a mortgage and now the credit crunch has hit, I still can't afford a mortgage. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| I've also cleverly managed to avoid being stabbed, mainly by not being a teenager. Some people keep asking what are the government going to do about knife crime? To be honest I don't see what it's got to do with government. When I were a lad I didn't look to "Thatcher the Snatcher" for my moral guidance, which was probably for the best, or I might currently be stealing children's milk, closing down pits, crushing unions and starting fights with Argentinians. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Here's to the next glorious 6 Months. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Written by Julian Daniel. | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Read the reveiew of the 2nd half of 07 | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| For more of his insights | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Back to the What4? Homepage | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
| Check out www.juliandaniel.co.uk | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
