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The Second Half of 2007 Reviewed |
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AMY WINEHOUSE |
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It was a mixed year for Amy Winehouse and the second half of 2007 was no less up and down. On the one hand she won multiple awards, her album 'Back to Black' was the best selling album in the UK but on the other hand her husband Blake Civil Partnership (my name for him) is behind bars and she is what can only be described as F*CKED! I read earlier in the year that one of Amy's drug of choice is horse tranquillisers. I'm not a qualified medic but I wouldn't advise this, for example have you seen the size of a horse compared to the size of an average human. In fact have you seen the size of Amy Winehouse compared to the size of an average human. |
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THE RUGBY WORLD CUP |
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England somehow managed to get into the Rugby World Cup Final without being that good,only to lose to South Africa. Afterwards the nation brethed a collect sigh of relief as we didn't have to pretend to like the game or pretend to understand the rules, well not for another 4yrs. |
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Little did we know at the time that the rugby team's defeat would be the sporting highlight of the second half of the year, what with the football team failing to qualify for the European Championships. The pundits, the journalists and the ex-players all dissected the reasons we failed to qualify, and it would appear it was all to do with this bloody umbrella. |
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JIM DAVIDSON |
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Jim Davidson was briefly on our screens in Hell's Kitchen before being booted off the show for remarks directed towards
Brian Dowling. Jim Davidson claimed that he no longer has a place in this pc world and that no one in this country is protecting the rights of Anglo Saxon heterosexual males, before skulking back to his home in ....Dubai. What a COCK! |
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SUDAN |
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Sudan was in the news because a British teacher, Gillian Gibbons, went over there and unwittingly caused an international incident by inappropriately naming a teddy bear Muhammad in an Islamic country. She was subsequently put in jail and and faced being lashed (not getting drunk, that would be equally inappropriate). Obviously I can't say too much about this case as I quite like living, I'm old fashioned like that, however at the time I did say on my website that I would not be prepared to do gigs in Sudan due to Miss Gibbons' treatment. A week later she was back home and safe on Merseyside(as safe as you can be).
I'm not saying it was all down to me, but as my mate Marvin Cheeseman would say 'you do the math'.
Ps. if any schools in Sudan are reading this I am still available for workshops. |
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BLUE PETER |
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Blue Peter lied to little children this year by calling a cat Socks when the children had actually voted Cookie as their favourite name for the pet. I just think if we can't trust Blue Peter to honestly name a cat, then we should all pack up and start the world over from fresh. I've become so cynical these days due to all these TV scandals that when I watched this years Children in Need I even suspected Pudsey of having two perfectly functioning eyes. |
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HEATHER MILLS |
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She has had a bad second half of the year (and first), she recently said her treatment at the hands of the press was worse than that of paedophiles. Not one to take things on face value, especially if it's the words of a mad one-legged woman, I asked paedophiles who read my website to react to Heather's comments. I didn't receive one reply. In their defence they were probably too busy on some social networking site grooming kids, or what ever they do. |
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NORTHERN ROCK |
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They went tits up (that's a financial term). It all had something to do with the 'credit crunch' which to me sounds like a nice term for something that has potential for misery. Other such terms include 'Happy Slapping' and 'Mother-in- Law'.
What the whole Northern Rock situation did highlight is that banks lend money to each other, I'm no financial expert but isn't that a bit like Ronald McDonald eating at Burger King? |
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CANOE MAN |
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This was arguably the best story of 2007. Basically John Darwin a.k.a. 'The Canoe Man' decided to fake his own death in a canoeing accident. He was only caught out because a picture of him and his wife appeared on the internet after his 'death'. I like this story because after a few pints in the pub I often come up with ways of making money, often it does involve me faking my own death, but usually I wake up with a sore head, not thinking "where I can buy a canoe?" |
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THE FLOODS |
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Several places were hit by floods during our 'summer'. Northern cities such as Sheffield and Lincoln were hit first but it was only when southern cities and towns were affected that it became national news. I wonder why that was. Some people blamed Global Warming and Climate Change, some said it was an act of God, some said it was just freakish weather and others said it was because Rhianna was �Number One for four months with 'Umbrella' . I know who I believe. |
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AND FINALLY |
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Sad news as Pavarotti died in the second half of 07. I can't claim to be a fan of opera but he was one of those rare people who could bring the arts into the mainstream. A bit like me and the poetry. |
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All The Best for 2008! |
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Julian
www.juliandaniel.co.uk |
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Read the review of the first half of 2007 |
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Back to What4? Homepage |
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