Elvert Xavier Barnes Photography . Writings . Ads
xElvert Barnes
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And though, by all accounts, it was my understanding and one that was often expressed by they and I, alike, that not only was it our intent to establish some sort of an ongoing relationship that, in the process, would spawn new holiday traditions and or rituals that were unique to our scenario and that as time would pass we each could reflect on as fufilling, rewarding, satisfying and joyous and, but in the process, would be important to our personal, spiritual and professional growth.
And while the holiday season is more often thought of as from Thanksgiiving through a few days past the New Year especially within the gay community and as store merchants began to stock shelfs with Halloween gear just after and sometimes over Labor Day weekend to many who buy into the process or who work in the industries that support the madness such as retail and catering or those who live in 'communities' that participate in the festivities our Holiday Season begins a few weeks before Halloween. And may last until the end of January. Especially for some in the gay community who, historically, have participated in annual circuit parties, S&M Leather Retreats and/or Motorcycle Runs that will spand the course of a holiday weekend.
Years ago and shortly after Thanksgiving I'd start wearing my red Santa's hat that had a long tail that hung almost down to the back my knees. In a similar as just a few weeks before I'd adorn myself in some sort of last minute Halloween custome that required little or no constructiuon and that made a personal, social and/or political statementt. And though various partners and I would always do the 'tree thing' in the homes that we shared in the privacy of my room or when I've lived alone I'd gather up or purchase a group of tall leafless branches, put them in a vase that usually sat on the floor upon which I'd hang bulbs, lights, ice cycles and other Christmas paraphernalia.
No tree to be watered. No needles to clean up. No mess made. And little danger of a fire. Simple, yet, elegant. Understated but provocative. Empowering but not over-powering. And, like Greg, I always was one to send cards. Which for many years were store bought but in recent years and with the use of the computer I'd create my own cards from my photography that always were unique and that had a very personal yet 'reflective' touch that depicted imagea of an historic moment in time. And as a direct action against the 'madness of the season' yet wanting to wish some a better and more propsperous new year... it is now my practice to send out cards after the New Year.
And while my closet white friends have exponded on their traditions year after year ... as a black man ... I've had to constantly adjust my position and shift my traditions. Because, over the years, these same white friends, associates as well as partners, literally, conspired with each other as well as with my black family to secretly dismantle and negatively reinforce me. If you can kill a man's soul or break his spirit you effectively can manipulate his mind, body and soul for lifetimes or generations to come. Such 'a right to kill' is an acceptable form of 'gentrification.'. And while such 'negationships' may not be the case with other integrated relationships such as that of Mark and Ken most others that I've been witness to and long before the black man will realize or be able to verbalize and/or allowed to express it but as time will tell ... it has almost always proven to be the unspoken truth.