The Tough Guide to Harry Potter by Rugi & Gwena. PG-13
Fandom: Harry Potter
Written after the style of Diana Wynne Jones's Tough Guide to FantasyLand, this is a hilarious satire of all that is overdone, silly, steriotypical, or just plain weird about the world of Harry Potter fanfiction. Why is Hermione paired with every male character in the series, regardless of age? Why does the portrayal of Draco Malfoy and Ron Weasley differ so much from fic to fic? Why does Hogwarts appear to have only two bathrooms? These and many other questions are asked, and some of them are even answered.
If you have a taste for satire and have been around the HP fandom for any length of time, this is a must read. If nothing else, read it for the descriptions of Good, Bad, and Sort of Good Draco. The only drawback to this wonderful glossary-style fic is the fact that its authors are far more into het fiction than there are slash, so the foibles of slash fics don't get as much attention.
The Tough Guide can be found at www.Riddikulus.org/AuthorLinks/Rugi_And_Gwena/
The Slytherin Study Group Cycle by rabbit and ~v~Jinx~v~. G
Fandom: Harry Potter
A series of silly and pun-ridden stories featuring the Slytherin students of James Potter's generation. Watch as Lucius "I'm Richer Than You Are" Malfoy, Severus "I Drink My Own Experiments" Snape, Narcissa "The Evil Bimbo" Beauregard, and Crabbe & Goyle Sr. struggle through the much hatred Transfiguration class, and face the consequences of their extremely complicated and ill-conceived attempts to cheat on exams.
Though the storyline involves a great deal of slap-stick humour, it's the subtle things, such as Lucius's violent indignation at having his expensive silk pajamas eaten by a sheep (it's a very long story), or the bland and tasteless porridge served at the early morning "Breakfast of the Damned," held specifically for students assigned early-morning detentions, that make these stories great. And then there are the sheep.
The Slytherin Study Group Cycle can be found at www.Riddikulus.org/AuthorLinks/Rabbit_And_V_Jinx_V/
Draco Malfoy the Amazing, Bouncing� Rat? by Maya.
Fandom: Harry Potter
A freak accident in potions class transforms Draco into a white rat, and the undeniable cute "Fluffy" is soon adopted by Ron Weasley and well on his way to becoming the Gryffindor house mascot. Step aside, Pinky & the Brain, this rat is going to take over the world--as soon as he finds a way to change back into Draco, get a cup of coffee, and kill whoever is responsible for this humiliation in the slowest and most painful way possible.
Yes, this is a Draco/Hermione fic (probably the only one I'm going to recommend), but it's so well written and entertaining that even the most hardcore Ron/Hermione shipper ought to be able to stifle their doubts and enjoy it. Draco's blinding indignation at his transformation, his exasperation at those stupid Gryffindors who can't figure out the he's NOT SUPPOSED TO BE A RAT, his shameless enjoyment of the pampering "Fluffy" receives, and his slowly developing, sneaking liking for Hermione, Ron, Harry & co. after being forced to hang around and listen to their conversations constantly, are all brilliantly done--even when reluctantly being nice, he never feels out of character.
"Draco Malfoy the Amazing, Bouncing� rat?" can be found at http://www.schnoogle.com/authorLinks/Maya/
The Substitute, by Anna. Not Rated, but PG-ish so far.
Fandom: Harry Potter
Hagrid has retired from his position as Care of Magical Creatures professor in order to marry Madame Maxime, and Dumbledore has found a replacement�Steve Irwin, A.K.A. �The Crocodile Hunter.� Minerva McGonagall just knows no good can come of this.
Crikey but this fic is brilliant! Dumbledore, Snape, and Minerva are all beautifully characterized (somehow, both Dumbledore�s whimsicalness and occasional sternness are conveyed) and by telling the story through Minerva�s POV, the author manages to include enough dry humour to keep the fic from turning into a farce (which, considering the �guest star,� would be far too easy to do). Unfortunately, the fic is still a WIP, so only three chapters of Snape-ish sarcasm and guest professors who talk to snakes (without the benefit of being parcelmouths) are available.
�The Substitute� can be found at http://www.witchfics.org/anna/substitute/index.html
Frippery, by d_r_o_n_e. Rated G/PG. New
Fandom: Pirates of the Caribbean
Pintel and Ragetti relate the tale of their valiant foray against the British Navy. "So the brave and �andsome pirate in the yeller dress rowed as �ard as �e could, and his good mate, the pirate in the red gown pulled the dinghy along the starboard side...�
One of the first pieces of fic I've seen featuring everybody's favourite crossdressing pirates, and also one of the best. There's no narration, only dialogue, but it's so well done that it's easy to follow anyway.
"Frippery" can be found at http://www.livejournal.com/community/pirates500/11184.html
No Place Like Home, by J. Brooks. Not Rated, but PG-ish. New
Fandom: Magificent Seven (Old West)
Ezra & JD are to Topeka to track down a bank robber, and mayhem and mass destruction ensue.
This one is epistolary fanfic in the finest comic tradition. The story is told via telegrams to the Four Corners from Ezra, telegrams to Chris from the Topeka police department, the itemized requests for re-imbursement for damages Ezra sends to Judge Travis, and letters from JD. The complete narrative is never given, but then, the mental picture the reader begins to build up after reading some of these communiques is probably better than anything the author could have come up with.
"No Place Like Home" can be found at http://blackraptor.hispeed.com/m7fic-19/noplace.htm
How Harry Potter Got His Groove Back by Durendal. PG-13. Slash (H/D).
Fandom: Harry Potter
When Harry Potter asks Draco Malfoy out on a date, Draco immediately draws the only possible conclusion: He has entered an alternate reality. And since no one else in this parallel Hogwarts is real, he might as well go out with the alternate version of Potter.
Admittedly, the premise is farfetched. Still, Durendal makes it all seem plausible, like an old I Love Lucy episode, where the viewer accepts all of the silliness without question. And the way Draco continually refers to the people around him as "Fake Professer Snape," "Fake Harry Potter," and so on, is hilarious.
How Harry Potter Got His Groove Back can be found at http://fix.dejabu.org/ under "fanfiction."
That Potter Slash by Minerva McTabby. PG-13
Fandom: Harry Potter
Basically, it's a parody of "Green Eggs and Ham," written about, obviously, Harry Potter slash fanfiction. And the entire thing both scans and rhymes. I'm not certain if Dr. Seuss would be proud or traumatized.
When I read this, I laughed so hard that I snorted Diet Coke out my nose. Literally.
That Potter Slash can be found at http://www.ircd.com.br/~breckin/glitterjungle/pink/seuss-potter.html
Copy of Report on Surprise Inspection of Case #14568 by Treemonisha. R. Slash (R/S).
Fandom: Harry Potter
Mr Mountfinch, long-suffering employee of the Office for Werewolf Support Services, is stuck with the unenviable job of training a new partner. In a fit of over-enthusiasm, she decides that the time is ripe for a surprise inspection of case number 14568, otherwise known as Remus J. Lupin. The two show up at their subject's house to be greeted by a somewhat disheveled Lupin wearing nothing but a buttondown shirt and one blue sock. And it's all downhill from there. Moral: Before visiting werewolves, call to make sure that they don't have guests.
This is, quite simply, the funniest piece of fanfiction I have ever read, and all Remus/Sirius shippers should go and read it right now. The piece is written exactly like a rather dry beaurocratic report, just as the name suggests, and the stuffy and humourless narrative voice of Mr. Mountfinch simply makes it that much more entertaining. He is the ultimate comedic straight man.
"Copy of Report" can be found at http://www.voldeobum.net/thehowlkingdom/archive/treemonisha/copyreport.shtml
Keyholes by Princess of Pain. Probably R. Slash? Or just Millie's twisted imagination?
Fandom: Trigun
Millie is trying desperately to get a certain pair of gunmen together, Vash and Wolfwood are trying desperately to pretend that they aren't attracted to each other, and a desperate Meryl is trying to ignore them all. What's going on behind that door? Not what the insurance agent listening at the keyhole thinks!
It's silly, full of dirty jokes, and makes fun of Meryl. What more could one want? It occasionally breaks the fourth wall (i.e. a character or the narrator will draw the reader's attention to the fact that this is a fanfic), and some of the plot developments are a bit random, but Vash and Wolfwood are so entertainingly goofy and cute that that doesn't matter. And Kuroneko-sama makes a random appearance in every chapter, just as he does in the series, until Wolfwood banishes him by performing an exorcism (we fans always knew that that cat was a demon). How can you turn down a fic with chapter titles like "The Gunman Wore Red� And the Priest Didn't Wear a Damn Thing" and "Enter the Hentai Fary"?
"Keyholes" can be found at http://www.immortallywounded.com/k/dm/trifics.htm
'Cause Sirius is Camp by Mieko Bell. PG. Slash.(S/R)
Fandom: Harry Potter
A filk of Frank Sinatra's "The Lady is a Tramp," protesting the overabundance of Sirius/Mary Sue fics out there.
It's funnier if you have read Mieko's "Fairy Boys" series, as there are several Glitter-verse in-jokes involved here, but any hard-core Puppyshipper will instantly glimpse its appeal. And the rhyme scheme works, too.
The Glitter-verse Anthem can be found at http://www.snitchfiction.net/cgi-bin/stories/story.cgi?id=158
Schwartz & Weiss People by Shoori. Slash.(SchwartzxWeiss)
Fandom: Weiss Kreuz
The best part of being an amoral telepath is, beyond a doubt, the ability to play around with your teamates'--and opponents'--dreams. Or so Schuldig decides after a night of matchmaking fun featuring the Lord's foliage, guilt-ridden flashbacks about Asuka, a lot of whining by Ken, Omi the Love-Master, and the Shiniest Glasses in the World.
This fic is a prime example of the truth that not all songfics suck. Crawford and Farfarello's dreams in particular made me laugh hysterically (shiny glasses!), and everyone's nighttime fantasies are actually, despite the ridiculousness of many of them, pretty close to in character. The pairings aren't my personal favorites (each assassin is matched up with his counterpart on the opposing team, so no Aya/Yohji or Crawford/Schuldig) and there's a small plothole near the end, but overall it's well worth a read.
"Schwartz & Weiss People" can be found at http://trowaluvsduo.net/weissweb/wkfics.htm
Wolfwood's Sin List by Chibi Jaime. Slash. (WxV)
Fandom: Trigun
Exactly what it sounds like. What would Wolfwood say in that little confessional of his? ("Kissed Vash--he was crying!" "Smoked two cigarettes� okay, four", ect.)
I am seriously contemplating printing this one out and posting it by my dormroom door. It's both amusing and adorable, and the author manages to resist the angst inherent in the concept and keep the whole thing charmingly light-hearted.
"Wolfwood's Sin List" can be found at http://www.immortallywounded.com/k/dm/trifics.htm
Phoney Baloney by Draqonelle. Slash (GatteauxOC, Gatteau+Marron)
Fandom: Sorcerer Hunters
The Sorcerer Hunters enter the town of Barrie looking for rest and relaxation, only to stumble onto an evil sorcerer's prostitution ring. A prostitution ring with an interesting twist--the victims aren't people (or at least, didn't start out that way). Meanwhile, Chocora has adopted an adorable stray puppy, Gatteau is desperately trying to get Marron to notice him, and Marron himself is acting awfully strangely.
This is definitely in the spirit of Sorcerer Hunters--full of bawdy, slapstick humour, touches of angst in just the right places, dastardly magical villains, and a lot of people named after food. Barroni himself is one of the cutest OCs I've come across, and Carrot is, for once, not portrayed as a hormone-driven idiot (at least, not completely�). The author does make the some grammatical mistakes and occasionally forgets to attribute dialogue, but what's being said is usually so clever and entertaining that I'm willing to forgive her that. Now she just needs to finish the bloody thing.
"Phoney Baloney" can be found at http://www.fanfiction.net/read.php?storyid=527628
SUBLIMATION AND THE SNITCH: QUIDDITCH IN HUMAN SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS, by Remus J. Lupin (discovered by Sam Starbuck). Rated R. New
Fandom: Harry Potter
A discussion of sexual mores in the wizarding world, followed by an analysis of Quidditch using Freudian principles ("and that, professor, is what brooms represent, ect.").
Presented as a paper written by Remus for his seventh year History of Magic class, this little essay will permenantly change the way you look at Quidditch. What with all of the balls, the "Golden Snitch," and riding on broomsticks, a pyschosexual analysis of the game had to come along eventually. It Remus's snarky little footntes and asides to his professor, though, that really make this fun.
"Sublimation and the Snitch" can be found at http://www.u.arizona.edu/~foora/sam/remusessay.htm
