| The weekend had ended rather quickly. Before anyone knew it, Monday had rolled around again and it was time for the Gryffindor seventh year�s first class. Transfiguration.
Walking into Professor McGonagall�s class on an early Monday morning normally would have been enjoyable for James Potter and Remus Lupin. However, neither of them was awake enough for much enjoyment. Sitting down at his usual table, Remus felt the weight of his books slip out of his hands, onto the desk, and then clatter on the floor. He didn�t seem to notice as his head heavily drooped down. His eyes closed until the brisk shaking of his friend suddenly awakened him. �REMUS!� a harsh whisper sounded in his ear. �Enervate!� he yelled, sitting straight up. The entire class turned to look at him and McGonagall only straightened her glasses. �Mr. Lupin, if you cannot stay awake in my classroom, I suggest you find somewhere else you need to be. Five points will be taken from Gryffindor.� Muttering to themselves, the Gryffindors shifted in their seats. Remus was only grateful it was five and not fifty. James was stifling his laughter but wrote quickly on his piece of parchment, �Snivellus� I mean� Severus was staring right at you. He was about to say something.� Remus read the note and narrowed his eyes at the boy sitting two tables away from him. He was a seventh year Slytherin with long, dark, greasy hair, a foul disposition, and malice toward any Gryffindor that crossed his path. He was particularly rude to James, Remus, Peter, and Sirius. Severus Snape had discovered Remus� secret only years before and had been most eager to get Remus into any sort of trouble that was possible because of his vow of secrecy. Severus twisted his face into the foulest look manageable (if that was feasible after staring at his regular mug) and then turned back to the front of the room. Remus yawned and decided it was better to pay attention. He didn�t want to risk losing any more points for Gryffindor just because of his late night. Saturday had been nothing but a day of lounging in front of the fireplace in the common room. He, James, Peter, Sirius, Lily, and Shaia had spent the majority of the day together. Sirius sat as close as possible to Shaia, and Shaia in turn sat as close as possible to Remus. The three of them had a great conversation about Snape, the Slytherins, Quidditch, and everything in between. It had been a great day. Sunday evening had been somewhat of a hassle. There was no longer any time to lie around when they had N.E.W.T.S. to study for. Remus noticed that Shaia had woken up at almost six o�clock in the morning to get to the library and begin setting up study schedules. Remus had been roused by his biological clock only an hour later for some unknown reason. Not knowing why, he slipped on his dressing gown, slippers, and moved quietly into the common room. Just as he had predicted, it was empty. He kept walking, unaware of where he was going until he found himself in front of Shaia�s table in the library. �What are you doing up so early?� she asked him, not taking her eyes off of her books. �I could ask you the sa-sa-same thing,� he said, mid yawn. She finally looked up, finding his eyes and he watched in amazement as they twinkled. �I�m getting prepared for N.E.W.T.S.,� she answered easily. �Already? It�s only October!� he cried, pulling out a chair and making himself comfortable. She shrugged. �I figure the sooner I start, the better,� she said, flipping through a couple pages of the book. �But now I�m just setting up study schedules for myself.� �Oh, really?� �Yes, really,� she said, sliding the piece of parchment she had been scribbling on over to him. He frowned as he looked it over. �Now how did you manage this?� he asked, pointing at something on the paper. �Studying for Transfiguration at nine, then you�re going to try doing a report for Potions at ten, then Arithmancy at ten-thirty. You�re good, Shaia, but no one is that good.� She only smirked at him. �I�m a fast writer when I need to be.� He gazed at her, deeply impressed. �Well, all I can say is that I hope you�re my study partner when crunch time comes.� She blushed deeply, looking away. �Maybe I will be, if, if� obligations don�t arise.� Of course, Remus knew by obligations, she meant Sirius. �Don�t worry about those, they don�t get in the way,� he commented softly to her. �They might,� she muttered, glancing quickly into his eyes before looking back down at her schedule. He wanted to question what she meant by that, but finally decided to say nothing. He watched her work intently for a while and decided that all he wanted was to be in Shaia�s presence as long as possible. She never asked him to leave and glanced up to smile at him occasionally. Relishing in all he could, he sat still longer. A comfortable silence followed. It was only two hours later when students began to shuffle around and go down to breakfast. Remus helped Shaia pack up her things and carry them back to her dorm. He retreated to his own to get dressed and meet up with his friends for breakfast. Sirius asked Shaia if she had a good night�s rest. Remus couldn�t help but notice the short answers she offered Sirius as compared to the lengthy conversations she usually shared with him. It disheartened him. He didn�t want to be attracted to his friend�s girlfriend� if she really was that at all. Shaia was distraught in her own right. What am I doing? Sirius is a handsome, sweet young man that I am very attracted to. He got up the courage after two years to ask me out on a date. Why am I thinking about someone else? Thoughts raced through her head as she continued to gaze at the boy she sat next to. He was reeling off conversation as if his tongue was on fire and she listened admiringly. He was so precious, so adorable� so� Sirius Black. He had large, curious brown eyes, and a wide, mischievous smile that always made you think he was up to something. His unruly brown hair always got in his way when he talked and he made mad hand gestures to rid the strands from his line of vision. He was everything a girl could want. Just not this girl. Sneaking a glance at Remus Lupin every couple of seconds made her head whirl. He was beautiful� but not in the same way that Sirius was. Sirius had a childish naughtiness and curiosity about him that made her smile, but Remus was beautiful. To her, he was poetic, profound� passionate. Yet she wasn�t sure what was holding him back. He seemed trapped in some way. There was something inside of him that was ensnaring him. Shaia wanted to figure out what it was. Breakfast ended uneventfully. Shaia was still caught up in the whirlwind of Sirius� incessant babble and the cloud of Remus� mystique. She and Sirius followed their friends back up to the now crowded common room. James had gotten started early on Quidditch practice. Fixing his glasses with a Resilience Charm and taking his hand, Lily followed faithfully behind. Peter, Remus, and Sirius settled up in their dorms on Peter�s bed with the map. Meanwhile, Shaia took her books and went to the library to draw up more plans for N.E.W.T.S. On the bed in the dorm, one mind stayed occupied with the map, while two others wandered elsewhere. Remus sat in Transfiguration that Monday morning, remembering the conversation he had had with Shaia in the library after dinner. He had found her in there, her nose pressed deeply into her books, while others stacked up so high around her they blocked her from view. Entering the library quietly, he took a seat next to her at the table, not speaking for a few seconds. �Good evening,� he greeted. �Hi,� she greeted back, very hoarse. �Get your nose out of the books and go to bed,� he demanded softly, moving the books out of her face. She stubbornly picked them back up. �I can�t, I have to figure this out.� �Figure what out? It�s the second month of school, we barely have any homework!� he laughed at her. �No, it�s not homework,� she laughed, shaking her hair out of her face. Remus felt his heart thud crazily in his chest. �It�s a guide.� He raised his eyebrows. �A� guide?� �Kind of a self-help thing. It�s to help me get organized for N.E.W.T.S.� �Which are only months away,� Remus said, throwing his head back for dramatic effect. Shaia�s hands trembled nervously as she noticed Remus� shaggy light brown hair softly graze the back of his neck. With his head held back, Shaia could see the outline of a very rugged jaw, a sharp, masculine chin, and faint blond whiskers all up and down the length of his cheeks. �What?� he asked after she had been staring at him for a few seconds. She broke out of her trance. �Oh, uh, nothing, nothing, it�s just uh,� she sputtered, turning bright red. She slammed the book shut. �I guess I�m done with this.� Remus looked away. �I�m sorry, am I distracting you?� �No!� she yelled, looking up suddenly. She yelled it so loudly in fact, Remus jumped. �No,� she repeated calmly. �Don�t leave. I could use some company.� Her voice sounded lonely and a little hopeless, which made Remus� heart thud even harder. He always noticed how beautiful she was in body, but he was finally seeing how much more so she was in spirit. She seemed lost somehow, and he wanted to help her find her way. �Moony.� �Cratsio?� �Moony.� �Cartsio!� �MOONY!� Remus looked up at James and realized that he wasn�t in the library with Shaia. He was in Transfiguration with his best friend James, who was staring at him suspiciously. �What is it?� Remus whispered. �Did you just miss what McGonagall said?� �I-I might have,� he stuttered distractedly, scratching his quill down on his parchment. �We have an essay due next Monday, all right?� he said, giving his friend a half smile. �Right, right, essay, due next Monday. McGonagall. Cartsio.� �Who are you thinking about?� his friend asked, his wicked eyes alight with enthusiasm. Remus suddenly looked defensive. �Why should I be thinking about anyone? Who have I got to think about? I�m not in love with anyone; I�m not dating anyone! Why would I want to think about someone?� James blew his messy black hair out of his eyes and then laughed whole-heartedly. �You just gave yourself away, Moony, my friend.� �What? I did? I gave myself a� What?� �Why would you blow up at me like that unless you were thinking about someone you shouldn�t be thinking about?� �What?� �You�re thinking about Shaia.� �You�re mad,� Remus said, turning back to his scroll. �Sure, sure,� James rolled his eyes and turned back to his parchment not a moment to soon. As Remus opened his mouth to comment, a booming bell sounded, letting the students know that it was lunchtime. �We�ll talk later,� James commented, briskly walking out of the lunchroom. Remus stood in the middle of the classroom, perplexed. �What just happened here?� �When did you know, Lily?� �Hmm?� �When did you know� you were in love with James?� �When did I know?� Lily asked, a dreamy smile occupying her face. �Yeah,� Shaia said, tapping her wand a couple of times on the desk. �When?� She smiled simply and pushed through her notes. �I remember the exact moment. It was last year before summer vacation that I realized it. It hurt so bad that year to say goodbye for break. I remember crying and how stupid of me it was to cry.� Shaia smiled back at her friend as she recalled the memories. �And he almost cried too,� she sighed. �That was when I knew. When I saw the tears in his eyes, I knew I was in love with James Potter.� The girls looked at each other and Shaia laughed out loud at her friend. �What?� Lily demanded. �You asked.� �Yes I did, but I�m laughing at you, not the story,� she commented. �And that makes it that much better,� her friend said, rolling her eyes. �So,� she said, flipping through her Standard Book of Spells, Grade Seven. �Why do you want to know?� She shrugged. �Just curious.� �Whatever,� Lily said skeptically. �You don�t ask a question like that unless you have a motive.� Then, causing Shaia to jump, she gasped. �Are you in love with Sirius?� Out of all the responses she was expecting, this had been the last. �SIRIUS?� �Well, yeah,� Lily said, giving her a look. �Why? Who else are you seeing?� �No one! No one!� Lily didn�t miss the fact that Shaia had become suddenly defensive. �Shaia Fletcher. No one asks such a question unless they have a reason for asking it. So, what�s going on? If you�re not in love with Sirius, the guy you�ve been seeing, who do you secretly harbor feelings for?� Shaia only looked away guiltily. �Don�t tell me it�s Peter.� All Shaia could do was laugh at her friend�s guesses. �I don�t even know the kid!� Lily laughed as well. �I was JUST checking.� �Good.� The red haired girl stared studiously at her friend, peering into her inner thoughts. Then suddenly, it dawned on her. How could she have missed it before? It was so obvious. �Remus.� Shaia�s dark eyes went hazy as she instantly flashed back to the night before. Remus had come to visit her in the library, where she�d spent most of the night alone. Sirius had stopped by, of course, but he had had too much energy to simply sit in the library while she read. He had gone back to the common room within five minutes. Remus. Remus was different. He would sit at the table with her in silence. It was not an uneasy silence like what it had been with Sirius, but a relaxed and comforting stillness in time. It was as if he understood she needed peace, but stayed all the same. He�d helped her pack up, carried most of her books to her dorm as he had done that morning, and stayed with her in the common room all night. It had been so wonderful being with someone as easygoing as Remus. She had spent time with Sirius all weekend, talking and getting to know him, but she had not felt nearly as fulfilled as she could with Remus. However, Shaia Fletcher was to remain forever guarded about the mere fact that such a special man was paying close attention to her. She had felt the cold dagger of heartbreak and didn�t care to feel it again, no matter how beautiful Remus Lupin was. Flashing back to the summer after fourth year, she relived the horrors all over. �Shaia?� Remus� melodic voice awoke her from a tragic trance. �Yes?� �Are you okay?� They were now wandering the grounds freely, and had stopped only so Remus could shake her out of her daze. �Perfect,� she smiled at him unconvincingly. �You�re never going to be able to lie to me, let me just say that now,� he smirked at her. She shook her head and waved it off. �Never mind that. Let�s get out of here.� Remus looked at her funny and chuckled alongside her as she gingerly took his hand and led him quickly out of the courtyard. �Where are we going?� he asked finally after running a few minutes. She cocked an eyebrow. �Where do you think?� Looking all around him, Remus could only wait for her to continue. After a few more twists and turns, he finally knew where she was taking him. The Astronomy Tower. �I�ve never gone this way before,� he commented breathlessly. �You wouldn�t have,� she answered slyly, pulling down the ladder that led into the Tower. �I love Astronomy, it�s easily my best and favorite subject,� she answered, climbing up and waiting for him to follow suit. �I never realized how much I loved it until my first year. I somehow found myself coming up here during the weekends just to study. I received a fabulous telescope from my parents for Christmas second year, but it broke my sixth.� Remus remained silent, staring at her in complete fascination. �But every weekend I was up here. After the middle of my second year, the same route to the Tower got boring. I�ve varied my path a lot in five years. I have come up with as many as eighty-nine different ways to get up here. Some take five minutes, others three hours.� All Remus could do was survey the young woman in front of him. She was amazing in her lust for life and sheer determination. It made her even more beautiful than before� if that was possible. She peered into an uncovered telescope and played with the knobs before standing back. �Would you like to try?� Popping up, he mumbled a, �Sure,� and bent over in front of the telescope, gazing in. Remus� strong suit was not Astronomy and therefore the starry sky he was looking at was nothing more than just that. Walking over to him, Shaia bent forward to instruct him on what was what. But as she began describing about how the moon was in Pisces, he couldn�t help but notice how close her face was to his own. The soft, supple creaminess of her cheek was pressed only inches from his, and he could smell the lotion on her small agile hands. Her eyelashes fluttered magically up and down as she spoke. She had the tiniest hint of dimples pressed in her cheeks. All he could do was allow himself to be drawn in. �You see?� she asked excitedly, backing away. Remus jumped, shaking the fog from his head, and pressed his eye up to the lens. She sighed, stepping closer to the large window. �This is my sanctuary. It feels so weird not being here alone.� He pulled his head back up slowly, staring at her. She looked lonely in the light of the waxing moon. Thinking about this he felt lightheaded and wanted nothing more than to lie down. However, her presence in the room with him inspired his resolve. �I come up here when I�m feeling helpless and I gaze at the stars,� she whispered. �My fifth year, I was here all the time.� She gulped, glad Remus couldn�t see her face. Tears were threatening to spill out her eyes and stream down her cheeks. �All I could do was stare out the window, studying constellations and star formations until my head hurt. Anything to get my mind off� everything.� Remus had nothing to say. All he could do was sit and listen to her, his long legs held protectively underneath the uncomfortably small stool. She sniffled and wiped her eyes quickly. She was distinctly crying and even though his legs were screaming at him to run over to her, collect her in his arms and hold her, he stayed immobilized on his stool. �I�m so grateful for Astronomy,� she sighed. �Not only is it one of the most fascinating branches of magic in my opinion, but it�s also my escape from the world. When I felt suffocated, I couldn�t get up here quick enough.� She then turned to face Remus, chuckling. �Sorry, I don�t mean to pour out my heart to you.� He shook his head. �I�ve felt like there�s no one anywhere who gives a damn what I think.� Remus opened his mouth to speak, but was abruptly cut off by Shaia. �But that day� Hogsmeade� I don�t know what it was, call it a feeling� I knew you were just different. I�ve never felt that way about someone before. It�s not only scary and exciting, but comforting as well. It�s good to know someone is there for you.� Remus finally felt his legs unlock as he moved off the stool and toward Shaia. He didn�t know what to do, how to offer his sympathy to her. She turned to him and with large, wet eyes, she stared up at him. Remus knew his eyes were misting over as well. All he could do was stare at her, wanting her, needing her, desiring her. And before he knew it, his arms had extended out to her and she�d stepped into them, buried her against his chest, and sighed. �You know, Shaia, that I love you like a sister.� �Sure,� Shaia broke out of her flashback and faced Lily during Charms class. �And you know that all I care about is your happiness?� �But�� �Aren�t you seeing Sirius?� her bright green eyes looked at her cautiously. �We went on one date, we�re not getting married!� Shaia retorted exasperatedly, practicing the Sweeping Charm they had been taught that day. �I-I know, it�s just that,� Lily lowered her voice as Professor Flitwick looked over suspiciously. �Sirius has been in love with you for two years.� Shaia looked down sullenly at her paper, doodling absentmindedly. �Yeah,� was all she whispered. �It took him so long to get up the nerve to ask you out.� �I know.� �I just don�t want to see him hurt.� Shaia slammed her quill down. �Do you think my intentions were to hurt him?� Lily shook her head. �I didn�t expect to click like I did with Remus. It just happened.� �I like Remus.� �But?� �I don�t, um,� Lily gulped nervously. �I don�t want you to get involved with him.� Shaia frowned in confusion. �What?� �Just trust me, Shaia. I�m not trying to hurt you. I�m just looking out for you.� Shaia was angered into complete silence. Lily sighed, setting her wand down and turning to face her friend. �I love you like the sister I wish I always had. You know I�m just looking out for you,� she repeated. �Why should I not get involved with Remus?� The mere prospect of Lily�s proposition made Shaia feel complete fear into the depths of her heart. �Just� I� can�t� um�� Lily was suddenly red in the face and flustered. �It�s not like he�s a bad guy! He�s the best! I love him like a brother.� Shaia bit her lip in fury. �So what then? Does he have an incurable terminal illness?� The comment was sardonic in saying but nonetheless Lily�s face was paper white. �I� I� I�� �Never mind.� The bell had rung and not noticing her quill pen was hanging on the sliver very dangerously, she charged out of the classroom. Lily ran to catch up with her. �Shaia! You have to listen to me!� she pleaded. �Why should I? If you�re not going to be completely honest with me, then why should I listen?� �Because it�s not my place to tell you.� �Than whose is it?� �Remus�.� |
 |
 |
 |