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| �Happy Halloween!�
Professor Dumbledore greeted the students gleefully as they entered the Great Hall that October night. The ceiling, which was bewitched to reflect the sky, was unusually bright and clear. The stars were twinkling down at the students happily and the moon was barely visible in its thumbnail shape. Shaia had pulled her long hair back into a large orange pumpkin clip. Lily had hers in two separate braids tied with black spider barrettes. Halloween was easily their favorite holiday of the year. They loved listing reasons as to why Halloween made such a difference. �No obligations.� �No presents.� �Witches.� �Wizards.� �Spiders.� �I hate spiders,� a new voice joined the conversation. �No one asked you, James.� �I was just stating a fact.� �Yeah! Lay off him!� �Oh, shut up, Black, you�re afraid of the dark.� The six were sitting clumped together at the Gryffindor table, sharing their usual stories and merciless teasing. James and Lily were nose to nose across the table from each other, touching hands and sneaking a kiss when they thought no one else was looking. Shaia sat next to Lily, her bright face red with laughter. Sirius was next to James, constantly shooting loving glances across the table at Shaia, who barely looked up. She was sitting next to Remus and they were laughing together as well. Peter occupied the space next to Sirius and argued vehemently with him quite regularly about the map. The food that materialized before them was eaten quickly. However, Shaia hardly noticed the food making its way into her mouth. She was engaged in too many conversations to see she�d dropped several crumbs of the flaky biscuits onto her robes. Sirius pointed it out only after he pulled himself out of a trance. The Halloween Feast was always fun, and during this time, the most amount of points were taken from Gryffindor for their antics. That year, it was Lily who had unknowingly started the six-person food fight. Leaning over to kiss James quickly, she didn�t realize that the sleeve of her robe was caught on her almost empty plate. This caused the spare mashed potatoes to fly at Sirius� chest. �Oh, Evans� you just dug your own grave!� he announced. He scooped up the cold potatoes from his robe and flung them back at her. They hit her in the cheek. �SIRIUS BLACK!� she screamed, shoving her fingertips into her neglected pumpkin juice and flicking it at his face in retaliation. Droplets of this attack managed to hit Peter as well. His mouth dropped open. �Why do the innocent always get attacked?� he whined, hurling a few carrots at the girls. Shaia screamed, backing up, and within seconds, Remus and James had entered the fun as well. Professor McGonagall sped over to them, barked at them to stop the madness, deducted twenty-five points from Gryffindor, and ordered they go to bed immediately. It wasn�t as if they minded not staying in the Hall. It was their seventh Halloween running and they were finished with their dinner. Laughing and stumbling over their loosened robes, they made their way back up to the Tower. They pushed their way into the empty common room and collapsed in the vacant chairs by the fire. The six talked for a good hour before students made their way back in, yawning and stretching tiredly from all the excitement. Most made their way straight up to the dorms to get some sleep. Peter and Remus argued playfully about their project close to the fire while James, Lily, Shaia, and Sirius sleepily occupied the couch. Staring at the burning embers of the flames, Shaia felt herself enter a deep slumber. Sirius awkwardly brushed hair out of her face and let his fingers get caught. Even though it relaxed her even further into sleep, she couldn�t help but imagine what it would have been like if it were Remus doing that same thing. And before the thought had time to make her jump out of her trance, Lily began to wriggle against her. �What�s going on?� Peter asked from the floor, staring at Lily with a puzzled expression on his face. �James fell asleep on my legs and I can�t move!� she screamed desperately, trying to pull herself out from under her boyfriend�s muscular build. �Someone kick him,� Sirius said calmly. �Hold on,� Remus muttered distractedly. He stood up, pulled out his wand, and pointed it at James. �Aquari!� he bellowed, and a splash of water hit James square in the face, splattering on the other occupants of the couch, causing all of them to leap forward. James sputtered, standing up. �I CAUGHT THE SNITCH!� Lily, Sirius, and Peter all laughed whole-heartedly at the sopping wet wizard in front of them. He was trying to figure out what happened as everyone around him laughed hysterically. However, two were not laughing. In her scurry to get off of the couch and out of the line of fire (or in this case, water), Shaia caught her foot on a rug. She tripped and fell into the first person available to fall onto, Remus. He�d felt her knock into him and on instinct, reached out to catch her. Physically holding her in his arms was enough to knock him out, but nothing could have prepared him for how he felt after looking into her eyes as he pulled her up. His knees had gone weak and he had almost been the one who needed catching. Neither of them noticed the laughter amidst them or the fact that James was crazily waving the water off of him, flicking beads of it onto them. Finally pulling her to her feet and removing his arms quickly, Remus turned toward the map again by the fire. Shaia stared exasperatedly at Remus, then back to the others. Sirius� smile faded slowly from his face. �Shaia, what�s wrong?� �Nothing, nothing,� she reassured, putting her hands up. She grabbed her gloves from the pocket of her robes and flipped her hair over her shoulders. �I need to get out of here for a couple of minutes.� �What?� Sirius took a step toward her and Remus raised his head to look at her slowly. She stopped and turned to face Sirius. She smiled sympathetically. �I�m sorry, Sirius. I just need to get some fresh air.� �Where are you going?� he asked, knotting his brow. �The courtyard. I�m just going to sit by myself and think. Don�t worry about me.� �You seem upset. What�s going on?� Casting a very sharp and quick sideways glance at Remus, she answered, �Nothing, really. Just stressed, you know.� �It�s no wonder,� he laughed. �You and those ruddy N.E.W.T. schedules, I don�t blame you. Go on, I won�t wait up.� �Thanks,� she said, patting his outstretched hand and quickly ducking out of the common room. Once outside, Shaia felt the cool night air whip around her in fast currents. She pulled out her wand, cast a Heating Charm on her robes, and settled on a bench. She stared at the night skies, lapping up the warmth staring at the stars gave her. Halloween was most definitely her favorite holiday. Lily was right in that it was great to have a holiday with no obligations. Thanksgiving required family relations, Christmas meant giving and cheerfulness, and it was commonly known that if you didn�t have a beau for Valentine�s Day, you were going to have the most miserable day of your life. Halloween was not only a great spiritual holiday, but it also led her to her most intuitive thoughts. She didn�t know how long she had been out there, but she knew that her back was starting to hurt. After casting a Cushioning Charm on the bench, she laid down and rested comfortably while staring at the sky. Shaia had no idea when she had fallen asleep, but the sudden thudding of footsteps on the ground behind her jolted her out of her senses. She sprang up, staring at the dark figure approaching. �Who-who�s there?� she called wearily. The figure never spoke until she whispered, �Lumos.� A dim light shot out of her wand and she saw the face of the person coming toward her shield their eyes. �Turn that out. It�s too bright for the darkness.� �What are you doing out here?� Shaia asked, putting her wand away. Remus walked slowly toward her and answered, �I thought you might want some company.� She sat back down on the warm bench. She sighed and looked back up at the heavens. �I don�t need or want any company. I�m perfectly fine by myself.� �What did I tell you?� he said, sitting next to her. �You can�t lie to me. You wanted me out here.� �I don�t want you, Remus, as much as that may shock you.� He sighed. �You may not want me, but don�t lie to me. You didn�t want to be by yourself.� �No, I didn�t,� she said reluctantly giving in. �Of course not. Who does?� �Well, I do sometimes.� �Let�s not argue.� �Who says we�re arguing?� �I do,� he said quietly. He looked at his hands and turned his wand over and over. �You�re lying to me and I don�t appreciate it.� �Well you�re hiding something from me and I don�t appreciate it either.� His eyes went momentarily wide and he felt his anxiety return. �What are you talking about?� He tried his hardest to sound nonchalant. �What happened last week?� His nerves got to him twice as bad. His hands trembled as the wand went in and out of his fingers continuously. �When last week?� �Was it� oh it was Wednesday,� she said much to his horror. �I looked for you after I finished my Divination homework. I thought we were going to meet in the Tower before my class started.� He only stared off into space absently. �But the weird thing was, when I went to ask Sirius where you were I couldn�t find him either. Or James. Or Peter. I asked Lily where you all were and she was kind of weird about it.� �Weird?� In and out, index finger and middle finger, pinkie and ring� �She told me you might have been in the library, but I told her I just came from the library and I was the only Gryffindor in there. Then she said maybe you were in the Great Hall, but that would have been impossible, dinner was over� I got the distinct impression that she was hiding something. Just like the feeling I�m getting from you.� �Why would I hide anything from you?� �I don�t know,� she whispered, and then remembered what Lily had said a month or so before. �I do remember saying something to her jokingly about you and she seemed� almost frightful.� �Well, what did you say?� In and out, in and out� �That you had an incurable terminal illness.� The wand fell with a loud clatter on the cold cement. Shaia�s head turned abruptly, and her long, soft hair whapped Remus right in the face. He bent over quickly to retrieve his wand. �Whoops,� was his only comment. �What is it?� �N-Nothing.� �You� you�re dying, aren�t you?� �No, Shaia! Why would you think that?� �Is that what you�ve been hiding from me?� �You�re crazy, I�m not dying,� he said. Not yet anyway. In a fit of frustration, Shaia picked herself up off the bench and walked away from him determinedly. After huffing and puffing for a few minutes, she turned on her heel and headed back toward Remus. �Well what then?� The hint of desperation in her voice called out to Remus in a way it�d never done before. �What am I supposed to think when you scold me on lying to you, but you sit there and do it to my face, Remus? You�re hiding something from me and I�m getting tired of your hypocrisy!� �Oh, Shaia,� he said softly, standing up. �No.� �Shaia, listen, I want to tell you� but it�s too dangerous,� he said gently, looking at his wand. �What is dangerous about this? It�s not like I�m anything remotely special to you. I�m not in any danger.� His head shot up and his normally docile brown eyes were lit with fire. �What did you just say? You�re nothing remotely special to me?� She said nothing and turned her head away from him. �No, Shaia Fletcher, you look at me,� he instructed and when she didn�t do so, he strode toward her briskly, grabbing her face and forcing her to look at him. Her eyes shimmered with tears, but it didn�t stop the ferocity of his tone. �How can you even insinuate that the past two months have been nothing to me? How can you stand there and say you are nothing special to me when all I think about is you? I sit through my boring classes each day just because I have the knowledge of visiting you every night.� Tears slid down her cheeks and hit his fingers. He didn�t seem to notice. His touch became gentler and he let his free hand slide onto her cheek as well. �Why are you being this way?� he asked her, his voice serene and soothing. �Why are you insisting that I�m a lousy git who wants nothing to do with you? Just because I have a secret doesn�t mean I don�t care about you.� Her sobs started to rise in volume and she covered her mouth suddenly with her fingertips. After a few seconds she whispered, �Look at us. We are awful, hateful people. I feel like such a prat being out here, alone with you, when Sirius�� she sighed, backing away from Remus� gentle touch remorsefully. �Sirius and I are dating, and I feel like a lecherous harlot looking at you the way I�ve been these past few weeks.� �You and Sirius are not married,� he whispered. �You don�t have to feel bound to him. We haven�t done anything wrong. It�s not like we�re snogging every night in that Tower.� They both knew that was a lie. They didn�t have to do anything to prove what they felt toward one another. Shaia only covered her mouth and shook her head. �I just� I love being with you, Remus. You make me think and you make me feel so comfortable with myself. I have Sirius, too. He makes me laugh. He makes me feel like I�m the most beautiful girl at Hogwarts.� Even though you do that too, in your own way. �I am being so unfair to him.� �That doesn�t mean you and I have to stop being friends.� �Who are we kidding?� Shaia asked through her tears. �We�re not just friends.� She turned and ran back toward the castle. Remus could only watch her run before attempting to get up. He called, �Shaia!� She stopped in her tracks, but didn�t turn around to face him. �What, Remus?� �Don�t leave me.� She felt the words tear at her heart and she had to step outside of herself. She couldn�t let that whole summer happen over again. She couldn�t let it get that far. �You never had me, Remus.� Tears may have clouded Remus Lupin�s vision for the next several hours, but he wasn�t blurry eyed enough to miss Shaia�s rapid retreat back into the castle. Throwing herself onto the empty common room couch, Shaia let herself cry for hours until she fell asleep amidst the weeping. The next morning when she awoke, she found her robe hanging over the back of the couch and a much larger robe draped over her that smelled distinctly like Remus Lupin. |