| January 5, 2002
Classes started again today. I cannot believe the change in my mood� I really think it had something to do with getting a break from studies. I have been in a crabby mood since this weekend. Oliver and I are okay for once. We�re not really fighting� but then again, we�re not really talking at all. It�s really scared me. I�m not sure it�s me, because he hasn�t really been social with anyone. He won�t talk to Fred or George and I�m starting to get frustrated. Fred can�t tell me what�s wrong with him. He�s tried talking to him many times. Every time he comes to tell me, he says it gently so I won�t burst into tears. Who? Me? I must also mention that Fred and I have been really close ever since the break. After that night, we�ve been meeting every so often at midnight to sneak into the kitchen together. We usually make it out of there, laughing so hard we are crying. For some reason, I feel like that fun is gone. I think Fred feels it too. Anyway, I�m meeting Oliver soon. I have to leave. Michelle January 7, 2002 Well, the break just ended. I am glad to be back in school and see all my friends. Oliver and Michelle are not fighting as much as they used to. That can be a good thing, sometimes. I kind of miss him talking to me. He doesn�t do it as much as he used to. Probably because he and Michelle have gotten a lot closer. I wish that she and Fred would go out; they are alike in so many ways. I think that Seamus likes me because he is always talking to Theo about me, and even sometimes Michelle. I don�t know what he is saying to Michelle because I don�t talk to her often. She probably won�t talk to me. I have to run, my next class starts in five minutes. Stephanie January 13, 2002 The air is getting thicker with tension every day. I can feel it. My classes are going okay, but things with Oliver are not. We haven�t fought in a long time but I would prefer that to whatever is happening now. We were supposed to get together and talk a few days ago, but he never showed up. I went looking for him when he was a half hour late and Fred said that he had already gone up to bed. I was so angry. Ever since then, I�ve been trying to get Oliver to crack and he won�t say anything. Something happened today though, that made me really scared. I was sitting in Charms, next to Fred. He was going off about this random thing I don�t even remember. I was staring at the wall, and all of a sudden, I found myself playing with my ring. I got the overwhelming urge to take it off. It was halfway off my finger before Fred shook me and asked if I was listening. I shoved the ring back on and didn�t think about it the rest of class. But that was seriously scary. What�s happening? I feel like I�m under some really strange spell. I seriously hope I�m not because I don�t want to be quick to point a finger of blame. I�ll just have Fred perform a �finite incantatem� spell. He says hello, by the way. Michelle January 15, 2002 The last couple of days have been strange. First of all, Oliver and Michelle are fighting again. I guess they were supposed to meet and talk somewhere, and he never showed up! I would be mad too. Then in Charms, I was on the other side of the room and I noticed that Michelle was slipping off her ring! I wonder if they are still together. I haven�t seen them together in a really long time. Talking that is. Then you will not believe what happened in Transfiguration! I was sitting there doing nothing because I had just finished my exam and I started to stare at Oliver. I drifted off and before I knew it, I was on the floor. I had fallen out of my seat without even knowing it! Everyone was laughing, even Professor McGonagall. I could feel my cheeks turn bright red. I saw that Michelle was staring at me, not with anger, but like she knew how I was feeling. It was strange. I wish I could have run out class. All I did was get back in the seat and lay my head down on the table. Theo kept nudging me and saying, �Oliver is looking at you. Don�t do anything stupid.� Well I was already past that level. I am going to hide from everyone now. Stephanie January 19, 2002 So let�s not start at the beginning. That�s too far off. I know in my own mind what has been happening. I don�t want to reenact all of it. I�ll give an update. Ron and Hermione finally just went on their first date. Took them long enough. Harry is just starting to realize his feelings for Ginny Weasley. DUH. Seamus is still goo-goo eyed over Stephanie, but Stephanie is still goo-goo eyed over Oliver. Oliver is still being stupid, not talking to anyone, especially me. Fred and George are my kin at the moment. I do everything with them. George usually disappears from time to time and Fred and I are left alone. Things are getting tougher at school, too. I never realized how much work we�d be loaded down with in our sixth year! Hermione�s been helping me, when she�s not staring lovingly over at Ron. Grr! I wish I still had that with Oliver. I think that part of our relationship disappeared after the first two years we were together. I don�t want to give up on Oliver, not after being together for four years. I�m starting to wonder if there aren�t better options laid out for me. Oh and by the way, there is no spell on me. Fred checked it out and even did some extra research for me (wow, Fred and �extra research� in the same sentence is strange). Only in the Dark Arts are there such spells to make you fall out of love with someone. He suggested it�s probably my heart, telling me it�s time to experience new things. What new things are there for me at the moment? Fred says hi. Michelle January 20, 2002 I am happy for Ron and Hermione. They are so cute together! I guess that they finally went on their �first� date. It was really cute. In Transfiguration, they were sitting by each other and Hermione put her hand on the desk. Then Ron put his up there, then made the move and took her hand in his! It was so adorable. I thought that she was going to start to panic. It was hilarious. I have been in a weird mood lately. I�ve been staring at Oliver a lot� I mean a bunch. I can�t help it anymore. I just want to kiss him! Whoa there, sorry. Michelle has been around Fred a lot, too. I think they are going to end up together. You did not hear that from me. I have lots of schoolwork. Stephanie January 22, 2002 Fred did the funniest thing today (it earned him a detention, but it was fabulous all the same). We were all in History of Magic class when Professor Binns actually broke out of his boring stupor (WOW) and lit up the chalkboard to show us an old goblin raid. Well, Fred, George, Oliver and I sit at the front table (more about Oliver in a second). While Binns was telling us the exciting adventure, Fred conjured up these small plastic dinosaurs that Muggle children play with. He made it so there were shadows on the wall, looking like the dinosaurs were fighting. I laughed so hard I nearly wet myself! Fred has to go clean dishes in the kitchens until midnight, but hey! Oliver and I finally talked! It was last night. I cornered him after Quidditch practice. I kind of played Fred false (I feel so bad) and told him we were going to study when I actually wanted to scream at Oliver. Fred looked pretty disappointed, and didn�t speak to me for the rest of the night. I�m sure whomever he walked back to the common room with got an earful. Oliver and I went to the locker room to talk. I asked him what�s been going on, how come he won�t talk to me, why I suddenly feel like I am the only person who�s in love anymore� and he finally cut me off. At first we screamed at each other. He was telling me that he had been feeling suffocated for the past few weeks and wanted time to himself to think. I told him that if he was feeling suffocated he should have just told me and I would have backed off. We calmed down a bit and he said that that wasn�t it. He didn�t want to lose me, which was what scared him. He is scared about getting married straight out of school and letting such a good thing go bad. I asked him if he wanted to take a break and he was adamant. He doesn�t want to lose me. But he still won�t talk like he used to. Fred�s talking to me again, though. We made up in History of Magic, right before he pulled that great stunt. He told me he didn�t like being lied to, and I apologized. He�s the best hugger in the world when it comes to making up! We have a study date, gotta go! Michelle January 23, 2002 It was hilarious yesterday! During History of Magic, Fred had Muggle toys (I think they were plastic dinosaurs) and he was making shadows on the wall during the lesson. It was so funny. I thought that Michelle was going to blow a lung or something. She was laughing quite loud. I guess that Fred got detention! The worst thing about it is that he has to scrub the dishes. I would hate that. I was walking into the common room after Quidditch when I heard Michelle and Oliver. I knew that I shouldn�t just walk in, so I stood by the door and waited for them to finish yelling. I couldn�t help overhearing that Michelle said something about how she thinks I am trying to take him away. I wanted to march in there and give her my word about it, but then if I did she would know that I was listening. Decisions, decisions. After they were finished fighting, Oliver stepped out and saw me standing there. I felt really stupid so I pretended that I had lost something. I started to look toward the ground saying, �I know it�s here somewhere.� Oliver just looked at me, smiled and said, �Nice Quidditch today, Stephanie. You are a great Seeker.� Then he walked away. I didn�t even get a chance to say thank you. I felt really stupid! Stephanie PS I love Oliver! January 29, 2002 I don�t know what�s going on anymore. I�ve given up hope in figuring things out. Specifically that of the male gender. Oliver, despite everything he said that night, refused to speak to me the next day. Of course, he had plenty of time when he wasn�t talking to me to stare at Stephanie, while Fred was trying to distract me by talking animatedly about� I don�t even know. So when we got back to the common room that night, we hashed it out. Not surprisingly, he walked out in the middle of it, claiming he �couldn�t take it anymore� and Stephanie happened to be right outside at the time. Hmm. I didn�t say anything to her. I just went to bed. Then today (which is the true reason I�m writing) I had a very interesting chat with a Mr. Frederick Weasley. I�ve been putting on this tough, hardcore front so no one will see how much I really can�t take it. I mean, what with school, Oliver, the weird pull to compete with Stephanie, and watching my best friend fall in love while I fall out (GASP did I just write that?), I�ve been feeling the serious pressure fall on my head. I just couldn�t take it. As soon as I went down to the Great Hall for dinner and stared at the sea of faceless students, I bolted. I couldn�t stand being around anyone. I went to the common room and just cried. Fred had seen me walk in and leave so he came to comfort me. We sat alone for almost an hour talking. You would not believe some of the things he said! Whoops. Fred just came in to go study. Gotta go! MichHI! DOES THIS THING TALK? |
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