Chapter 37

Blake was the first to wake up the next morning, and when he realized that he was in the buff, everything that had happened last night came back to him in a sudden flash. He couldn�t help a bright smile from spreading across his face when he realized the treasure he had right there, laying next to him.

She was breathing in and out so confidently that he knew he couldn�t disturb her rest. He leaned over, grabbed her journal, and opened it up to begin the long journey of reading all of it.

After an hour of reading, he finally came to terms with just what she had been dealing with for the last few weeks, months even. Some of it had to do with the years passing by her. Evan had been such a huge part of her life, and even though she told him in words how much she loved Evan and how involved with her life he had been, he never really understood it fully until he read about it.

So many things to say about past relationships. So much to tell. Evan was enough to crack me down and make me unwilling to ever wake up again. I should have felt that way when he left, but I didn�t. I didn�t want to live, but I woke up each morning. I don�t know how I did it, but I did. I managed to get out of bed, I managed to go to school, I somehow even managed to become involved with someone again. We won�t go there for today.

Yet he was such a huge part of my life that hearing the words come out of his mouth... well reading the words that came off of his fingertips... drunk or not... should have crushed me to the point of suffocation. Yeah, I almost did suffocate under my heartbreak. I almost did. But I didn�t. And that�s what shocks me the most.

That�s what puts my heart at such a weird angle and twist with Blake. Everything about him screams at me. Everything he does, every word he says, every time he looks my way, I know. I know that he�s going to be everything I ever love forever and again. He�s going to be the person I end this life with. I never want to know any other love than his. And each time I look at him, I know that more and more. Everything in my gut, heart, head and soul tells me that he�s going to the one for me, that he is the one for me... that he is my soul mate.

Blake set down the journal when Regan began to stir to life. It concerned him that she still wasn�t up, but he didn�t let it get to him too much because of her condition. The disease caused fatigue and the doctor told them not to worry if she slept in a lot.

He pet her hair when he realized the stirs were nothing and she continued to be entranced in her sleep. His thoughts went back to the journal as he picked it up and kept reading. All of the things he thought about her were echoed in this journal, and it shocked him to see how perfectly their thoughts reflected each other�s. It was like she was listening in on his thoughts and wrote them all down for him to read. It was like nothing that he had ever known before.

After another hour of sitting alone and reading the journal with no sign that Regan was going to rouse, he got up, dressed, and set the book down to go downstairs and get something to eat.

He ran into her mother in the kitchen and smiled brightly. She rolled her eyes at him. �Good morning Mr. Turner. Did you sleep well?�

Blake actually blushed thinking about what they had actually been doing other than sleeping. It was no big deal however, because her mother knew and didn�t seem to mind as much as other mothers would have. �I slept fine.�

�Where�s my daughter?� she asked, opening up a Mountain Dew and taking a swig.

�Asleep,� Blake answered after searching through the breakfast food possibilities he saw. He settled on Froot Loops and didn�t hesitate to pour himself a bowl.

�When did you get up?� she asked, a look of concern passing over her face. Undoubtedly her mother was worried that Regan had not yet waken as well.

�I woke up at eleven,� he said, knowing full well it was past one.

�That�s weird. What time did you two eventually fall asleep?�

He racked his brain for the time. �No time past midnight. We started a real conversation at about 9:30.�

She raised an eyebrow. �As opposed to a fake conversation?�

�Um... well... not a fake conversation per say,� he panicked, looking for something to say.

She grinned evilly, watching her daughter�s boyfriend flinch under pressure. �So she�s still asleep then?�

�Yes,� he said, grateful that she hadn�t kept going on the subject.

�Well that�s weird. She doesn�t normally sleep this long,� her mom commented.

�It must be the... condition,� he said, hesitating to call it a disease.

�I don�t know,� she said skeptically.

Blake looked back at his cereal and was suddenly disinterested in eating. He wanted to have company and that certain company was asleep in her room.

Her mom looked away from the ceiling and back at Blake. �If she�s not awake after you�re done eating, will you go get her?� Blake nodded silently, a spoonful of cereal in his mouth and her mom left the room, a serious expression knitted into her features.

He ate his breakfast, barely noticing that it even made it to his lips, between his teeth and down his throat. His thoughts were all focusing on the girl upstairs. Not that she wasn�t awake, but after everything they had talked about last night, he finally realized to what he lengths he truly did love her. It only amazed him that he had not come to grips with it sooner than he had.

It also amazed him that it had taken him so long to find her. He had known Maria for a long time and yet had never met any of Maria�s friends. Maria�s best friend happened to be his soul mate, and she was there all along without his knowledge.

He knew it couldn�t have been just a coincidence that he was so interested in this friend when Maria told him about her. Everything about her fascinated him even before he met her. And it shocked him even more that he thought he found one of the most beautiful women he�d ever seen in his life, and it just happened to be the same girl he was so interested in by word of mouth.

Blake Turner was just a man, but he felt the power of the Gods whenever she touched him or whenever she looked at him with the look that only told him one thing. He was everything to her. He tingled inside and out just knowing that a woman so amazing could ever look at him that way.

Thoughts overtook him in and out before he finally realized that his spoon was scraping an empty bowl. He broke out of his trance, took care of his bowl, and headed upstairs. Regan had not made an appearance throughout all of his soul searching and brain racking. He felt as though his thoughts were so loud that everyone in the world could have tuned in and heard them if they wanted to.

Not that he would have minded. Declaring his love for Regan was one thing that wasn�t going to cause him any complaints. He wanted everyone to know that he was the one who possessed that rare gem. He wanted everyone to know that the most dazzling diamond in the entire world now belonged to him, and he would care for it like it would break at any second.

He made his way up the stairs, every step getting more and more excited knowing he was closer to her. It made him feel so happy that he could exhibit so much love for this one person who meant everything to him.

Blake pushed his way into the room and found Regan still asleep. He walked over to her, watching her sleep. The slow rise and fall of her chest enchanted him like nothing ever had before in his life.

�Wow,� he said happily.

He reached into his jeans pocket and pulled out his wallet. He left one of his smaller painted doodles in there, something that meant a lot to him whenever he saw it.

It was a variation of the picture he had drawn of Regan while watching her sleep. He made her look like a princess that had just happened to fall into a deep sleep while simply resting her eyes. It was beautiful, and he wanted her to have it.

He placed it on her headboard and smiled as she continued to sleep.

His smile faded however when he noticed the large blood stain that he had somehow missed waking up. It was on the comforter and it was so obvious and large that he felt like an idiot to not have seen it.

He quickly and hastily pulled back the comforter and noticed that it was coming from Regan. It couldn�t be what he assumed it to be, there was far too much blood for it to be that.

His heart dropped into his stomach and he looked at Regan. He hadn�t even noticed that her breathing was much more shallow and that the pigment of her skin was fading.

�Oh my God Regan,� he screamed, throwing back the comforters and firmly shaking her by the shoulders. �Wake up Regan, wake up, wake up!�

When there was still no response, he panicked. He ran over to the edge of the stairs, screamed for Regan�s mom, and ran back into the room to try and revive Regan as much as possible.

�What is it?� her mom yelled up the stairs.

�Hurry, it�s Regan!�

In a flash, her mom bounded up the steps, took one look at the mess and her daughter, and screamed for someone to call 911 and bring her the phone immediately. She and Blake rushed around trying their best to get Regan to wake up. Blake frantically cleaned up the bedding and watched in disbelief as Regan lay lifeless on the bed.

Within minutes an ambulance pulled into the driveway and paramedics were rushing up to Regan�s room.

Through all of it, Blake watched the entire scene like it was a movie. He found it hard to move from his exact spot and couldn�t believe that in a matter of seconds, everything he had been thinking of changed to exactly the opposite of what he had been thinking before.

Regan�s eyes fluttered open miraculously as the paramedics struggled to get the stretcher up the steep steps and into her room.

�What�s going on?� she managed to whisper in a weak voice.

Blake heard her voice and instinctively rushed to her side.

�Blake? Mom?� Regan looked back and forth at them, both holding her hands.

�It�s alright honey, we�re here, it�s going to be okay,� her mom reassured.

�What�s happening? Who are all these people? Blake? BLAKE?� Regan�s screams started to sound more and more desperate and labored. It was as if she was struggling to breathe and rasp out the names.

�Regan, sweetheart, I�m right here,� he encouraged, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. �I�m not going anywhere Regan I love you.�

�What�s going on Blake? Who are these people?�

�Hon, they�re paramedics, they�re coming to take care of you,� her mom intervened.

�I don�t need paramedics. I feel fine. I�m a little lightheaded but I�m fine.�

The two gripping onto Regan exchanged a hard look over Regan�s head and knew that wasn�t a good sign. She was losing too much blood and it was a wonder she was even able to talk or contemplate anything.

�Regan, relax, everything�s going to be fine.�

�But, everything already is fine. DON�T TOUCH ME!� she screamed as one of the paramedics ignored her to get her onto the stretcher. �Blake what are they doing to me? Help me Blake!�

Blake closed his eyes, knowing he was letting her down by not answering her cries, yet knowing full well he couldn�t do anything to stop it. �I�m here for you, just squeeze my hand when you get scared.�

�Blake! BLAKE HELP ME!�

Two fresh cool tears poured down Blake�s face as he leaned over to press his lips on Regan�s forehead and cheeks. �Sh, it�s going to be alright.�

�BLAKE!�

�Regan don�t scream... that�ll only make it worse,� he pleaded. �I love you. It�ll be alright.�

�Blake...� she whispered. It was obvious that she was becoming weaker and it scared him. He leaned over to her headboard and pulled the painted picture he had set there for her what seemed like minutes ago and held it in front of her.

�Regan see this? This is you. This is how much you mean to me. I painted this and I want you to have it as a reminder that I love you and I need you so, so much.�

�Blake... I can�t see it...�

�It�s you sleeping sweetie, and I�m going to put it in your journal.�

�Journal?�

His heart twisted in a wrenching motion. �Journal. The one you gave me last night. I realized how much I love you and need you, and I�m not about to let you give up on me.�

�But, Blake... I�m so tired, and so cold...� she said, falling into what looked like a state of unconsciousness.

�No, Regan! You don�t talk like that! You�re not going to give up on me, I need you too much.�

�Blake...� she whispered. Her whispers were starting to sound more and more forced each second.

�We�re going to have to move her down to the ambulance now,� the paramedics reported.

�You hear that Reg? You�re leaving, you�re going to the hospital, and they�re going to make everything better. You�re going to make it because I need you so much. You can�t leave me like this.�

�Blake...� she said, feeling a force pull over her. It forced her eyes shut and weakened her beyond anything she knew.

�Regan Stanbury! I refuse to lose you like this! Come back to me, come back right now!� he demanded. Now he was past feeling desperate and he was angry. He wasn�t angry at Regan, but angry at whoever allowed her to slip past him this much.

�Blake...� she whispered again.

�Regan,� he said, squeezing her hand as they were about to move her out of the room.

�I love you.�

Blake looked down at Regan�s face unbelievably as he watched her eyes flutter shut for the last time, her head tilted toward the side, and the hand he thought he had a tight grip on slipped and fell onto her lap.

His mouth dropped open and he continued to wave the picture in front of her. The paramedics stopped the stretcher and rushed in every direction and did everything they could to revive her and get her back, but it was obvious to Blake and to Regan�s mom, that Regan was not coming back from where she had gone.