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| It felt like the whole world ended for both people. Blake never called like he promised, and it was three days before Regan heard anything from him at all. It was simply an email to her, and it wasn�t even addressed to only her. It was just some forward, and not thinking he must have sent it to her out of habit.
She moped around, feeling sicker as each hour passed. She pushed herself into work, thinking it was the only thing to keep her mind off of her troubles lately. She began to work so hard that she didn�t notice her pills had run out and she was fading more and more without them. It seemed like forever had gone by since she had heard from Blake, and her days became grimmer each time she thought about their fight. The ugly words passed back and forth. She had never felt so angry with him in the short amount of time she�d known him. Yet she knew she couldn�t survive without him and he knew it too. He was pushing himself away from her so he didn�t feel so attached to her when he left. She never knew how much she loved him until he stopped contacting her. Every day without him was harder than the next. It had almost been a week since the fight when she finally heard from him, for real again. It was only a Wednesday afternoon, and the tears had almost dried from her face. She forgot to fill her prescription for the anti-depressants that were helping her fatigue, and made a mental note to call in and then pick them up after work. Liz tried not to bring it to Regan�s attention, but she noticed how much Regan was suffering lately. She tried to get her to cut back on work, but Regan was so stubborn about coming in and working harder than she usually did, that Liz couldn�t say anything to stop her. Prince Charming was still there for Regan, and it now hurt her to see him. He reminded her so much of Blake. She loved the horse unconditionally, but couldn�t bear to stand around him and stare at him like she used to. That Wednesday morning she convinced herself she wasn�t going to dwell on things that made her unhappy anymore. She was going to go to work, throw herself into it, and not give herself time to think. She fought off the urge to stay in bed for the entire day, pulled herself up, and went to her closet. She picked out a pair of her favorite, most comfortable jeans, threw on a short sleeved, tie around pink checkered shirt, put her hair in braids, and finally left. She thought it was funny how country hick she looked at the moment, but didn�t care. It was part of her vow to herself to have a good day and not feel like her life was totally wasted not talking to Blake for so long. She got in her car, and felt a wave of fatigue come over her. She had completely forgotten to call the drug store for her pills. It wasn�t like her to forget something so important. She brushed it off as nothing, made another mental note to call in for it while she was at work, and continued her drive. The fatigue plaguing her finally took over, so she pulled off to the side of the rode and slept it off. She woke up ten or fifteen minutes later, felt immediately better, and continued her drive to work. She finally got to the stables, warding off another battle she was having with her fatigue, got out, and went to lie down almost instantly. Liz noticed her instant exhaustion and went to tell her to take the day off. Regan refused once again, told her it was nothing, and went to go work ten minutes later. She continually had bouts with her fatigue most of the day, and found that at times, it was almost impossible to shrug off. She also noticed that the more she went, the more her knees, back, and muscles in her upper body started to ache and burn. She thought nothing of it when it first came about, thinking it was the lack of sleep getting to her, but she found that the more she sat down and the relaxed, the worse it got. She was so sick by her lunchtime that she found she couldn�t move off of the couch in Liz�s office. Her muscles screamed at her to stop even breathing because it hurt them so much. Liz walked in, saw her pained face on her couch and begged her to leave. �Liz, I�m fine. I�ll just work it off and it�ll be okay.� �Regan you�ve been playing this game with me for too long. You need to get some rest and you need to do it where you�re not on your feet all the time.� �Liz, I am going to be fine. It�s nothing. Will you just let me work the rest of the day?� Liz sighed and nodded. �I guess so. But I have to leave early today to take my nephew to a dentist appointment, so I want you to lock everything up when you leave.� �I will,� she said, smiling as best she could. �Girl sometimes you worry me far too much,� Liz joked, patting her gently on the shoulder and walking out. After a while, Regan mustered up the strength to stand up and go back to work. Her muscles and joints were unbelievably disagreeable to her determination, and she found that no matter how resolved she might have been in sticking to the vow she made herself, her body didn�t want to comply. Around three o�clock, Liz walked over to Regan, who was working diligently in Stall Eight. �Hey Reg, I�m leaving now,� she greeted. Regan looked up at her and smiled. �Okay,� she consented. �Here are the keys,� she said, pulling them out of her pocket and handing them to her. �Don�t work too hard hon, I don�t want anything happening to you,� she warned in a motherly tone. �Oh Liz you worry too much. I just have to pick up my pills and I should be fine later on tonight,� Regan answered. �Okay,� Liz said in a not so believing tone, waved, and walked off. As Regan heard Liz�s shoes crunch on the dirt ground and fade into the distance, for no reason at all she began to think about Blake. It had been so much a part of her normal routine to go to work, come home, call Blake, and have him come over that it was hard to get used to the fact that she couldn�t just call him now. There was far too much that had been left unsaid between them. She regretted everything she had said to him, but was so angry at him for walking out in the middle of it that she wasn�t even sure she�d be happy enough to speak to him again. She finally shook it off, and returned to work. She knew that all the praying and hoping in the world wouldn�t bring Blake back to her. All she had to try and convince herself of was that if it were meant to be with Blake, it would be. That was all she had to hang on to. Blake had been tossing and turning and not getting a second of sleep since the night he and Regan had fought. A lot of what she said had made sense, and a lot of what she said had infuriated him. However he was more remorseful than angry, and fully intended to fix their problems. He just wasn�t sure how to go about doing so. It was harder than anyone thought, picking up the phone, dialing her number, and getting up the courage and strength to say �I�m sorry.� It wasn�t that simple. There was so much that he hadn�t said to her to make it all up, that he knew she would be furious. Walking out of that room was easily one of the stupidest things he could have done. He had so many options. He could have controlled his anger and talked things out with her, he could have wrapped her up in his arms and told her he was sorry. But no, he walked out when it got too tough, and left her angry with him. He was deathly afraid that he wouldn�t be taken back, and couldn�t stand the thought of not having her with him anymore. He wanted her more than she could ever know, and he was going to go to any lengths to prove that to her. On that Wednesday he made the decision to patch things up, tell her he loved her, and hold her again. It had been six days since he had seen her face, held her in his arms, or kissed her soft lips. He was dying to even talk to her, to let that much happen. He couldn�t stand the thought of losing her and not having her near. It hurt him too much to think of. He called her house and her mom told him she was at work. He felt like an idiot as he remembered that she still worked at the stables. She had told him about a certain horse once called Prince Charming that she said had reminded her of him. He was completely moved when she finally brought him out to see the horse. The horse was beautiful and magnificent, and he was so flattered that she thought the horse to compare to him that he was overtaken with how much he really did love her. He vaguely remembered the way to get there, but made it to the stables in less than an hour. It usually took her twenty minutes to get out there, and since he had only been there once, it was amazing how short of a time it took him to locate the exact place it was. Regan watched the horse in Stall Four eat and wondered about Blake. She wondered what he could have been doing at that moment in time, wondering where he was and what he was thinking about. She had gone for what seemed like forever without touching his face, running her fingers up and down his neck, staring into his deep blue eyes, playing fondly with his soft blond curls. It had been so long since she had heard the smooth voice tell her he loved her. It felt like forever since she had heard him joke around about the fact that she had no friends, or that she was completely crazy, out of her mind even. She missed how much he made her laugh. There was never a dull moment with Blake Turner, and she had discovered that even more now than she ever would have before. It seemed like her days got more boring without someone there to make fun of her, tell her he loved her, or just simply kiss her and make love to her the way he did. She looked up at the summer sun and smiled briefly, remembering the exact moment they had met. Little did she know that stumbling out of that locker room and seeing a stranger would have changed her entire life. Seeing someone as beautiful and mysterious as him, she knew that he was probably from somewhere else, and never even suspected she�d fall in love with someone as charming or irresistible as him. She felt even more so now that it was over, and hated herself for ever contradicting what he had said. She was so upset that he walked out on her that she tried to tell herself over and over again that she would never forgive him if he wanted to make up for what he did. She didn�t know how long that threat would hold out however. And just as she broke from her thoughts and returned to work, Blake�s Cavalier pulled into the driveway down the hill from the stables. She couldn�t hear the car approaching, and didn�t think anything of it. He took a deep breath when he saw her pass by while working. She looked somewhat different, and he almost couldn�t wait to get up close to her and study every single bit of her beautiful face. He got out of the car and walked up the hill to see her. She was still so intent on her work that she didn�t notice anyone else�s existence but her own. He stopped just outside of the stables, and watched her. He was right, she did look different. She looked as though she had lost weight and had been through a terrible amount of stress. He couldn�t help but feel guilty for that. Just as he was about to open his mouth and bring attention to himself, she turned and dropped a bucket of water on the ground. It splashed all over her jeans but she didn�t seem to notice. �What are you doing here?� was all she whispered. He couldn�t muster up the ability to say what he had come to say, but he managed to say at least something. �I came to see you.� �Why?� she asked, not taking a step toward him. �Because I wanted to clear some things up.� �Blake I have a lot of work to do,� she commented, looking at the ground. �I know,� he said, finally taking the steps toward her with wobbly legs. �I just wanted to tell you how s-sorry I am. How much I miss you.� �Well Blake you could have told me that six days ago.� The words smacked him in the face and he held his breath for a quick second. �I know, I know. But I wanted to see you and not call you or anything, because I need to get some things off of my chest.� �Like what? What was so important that you couldn�t tell me that night in my room?� �Listen Regan�� �No you listen Blake. I was completely devastated when you walked out after I had begged you not to. I wanted to sort it all out right there and not have us walk away with hard feelings. You chose to neglect that plea, and leave when I needed you the most. I can�t just forgive you off the tip of my tongue and take you back like nothing ever happened.� �I know Regan, but I wasn�t the only one who was shooting off things that night.� �I�m sorry.� �I�m sorry too. Can�t we just work things out?� �We could.� �Then why don�t we do it?� he asked, taking a few more steps toward him. She was still so paralyzed by shock, anger, regret, and excitement to see him that she couldn�t move her legs. �Because Blake, it doesn�t happen just like that. You can�t come here after not calling me or talking to me for six days, say I�m sorry and expect everything to get patched up like that.� �That�s why I want to talk to you!� �Can we do it another time?� �No, I want to do it now. You are the one complaining that I haven�t called you, but I�m here now and you want to push me away. What is with you?� �I have work to do,� she muttered. Her heart was not the only thing aching right at that moment. She felt overwhelmed from standing in the same place for so long that she felt fatigue hit her like a ton of bricks. She wobbled a little and tried to make nothing of it. �I want to talk to you Blake, but not here. Can you come over later and we can talk about it there?� �Please Regan,� he said, walking slowly toward her now. �Don�t send me out of here just as soon as I got here. It took me so long to get up the nerve to come out and see you. I don�t know how I lasted so long without you. Every single day I thought about how much I really do love you Regan. It hurt me to walk out of that room. It was the dumbest thing I could have possibly ever done and I know that now, but it was the only thing I knew to do at that point. I was too scared to do much else.� �You didn�t have to walk away.� �I know,� he whispered. �I�m sorry.� �Blake, you have no idea how much I hurt after you walked out of that room. I thought it was a sign of you giving up on me.� �Oh no,� he said sympathetically, walking right over to her. �I would never give up on you.� �Then why�� she said, battling her weariness to look him in the eye again. �Why did you do it?� �I told you�� he muttered, watching her health fade right in front of him. It scared him to death to see her so sick. �I was scared and I didn�t know what else to do.� �Blake I don�t know what to say to that,� she said, trying to back away from him. He put his hands on her arms and tried to make her stay. �Just say you love me.� She felt tears pour down her cheeks and she looked back up at him. �I do love you Blake, but I can�t forgive you.� Blake let go of her and backed away, something that Regan had feared he would do. �I love you Regan. I want us to get over this, but if you can�t, then I don�t know how I will.� She felt herself start to cry as he walked away. She tried her hardest to call out to him and get him to come back, but the more she tried, the more she found that she couldn�t. She tried to run after him, but the pain in her muscles doubled once she took a step and she collapsed onto the dirt of the stable floor. She felt a stabbing all throughout her body, and tried one more time to call out to Blake before she blacked out. He turned abruptly when heard something hit the ground. He turned around and saw that Regan was nowhere in sight. He walked curiously back up the hill, and once he got a better view, he saw that Regan was the one who had hit the ground and he felt his heart drop in his chest. �Oh my God Regan,� he screamed to himself, ran over to her, and kneeled to see her. He rolled Regan onto her back and saw that she was out cold. Blake tried his hardest to revive her but to no avail. He stood over her with blurred vision staring at her limp body. The only thing he knew to do was pick her up and carry her to his car. Once he had done that safely, he peeled out and drove like a mad man to get to the hospital. He prayed the entire way there that she would be okay, and it was only a bit of heat exhaustion that had come over her and caused her to pass out. But somewhere deep down, he knew for a fact that wasn�t the real cause. |