Chapter 9

�Okay, so we definitely want the limo,� Bailey reported. �I have a couple of companies in mind to call whose rates are good.�

�Sounds good,� Chloe said, not really paying attention. She was studying Quincy�s senior picture, one that he had given her that day. To say that she was excited about getting it would be an understatement.

�Pay attention woman!� Maria said, punching her firmly in the shoulder.

Chloe seemed clueless as she continued to run her finger up and down the outline of the face in the picture. �He�s got the most beautiful green eyes doesn�t he?�

Maria rolled her eyes. �Dear we have to focus on something other than a hazy pair of green eyes if we want this to be a successful prom experience.�

Chloe sighed and set down the picture. She folded her hands and looked up at Bailey, casually shooting glances toward the picture.

�Okay,� Bailey said, sighing once Chloe had given her attention back.

�Hey!� Regan screamed, opening the door to Bailey�s house, slamming her stuff on the couch, and scooting over to the table. �I�m here!�

�And where were you?� Maria asked, putting her hands on her hips.

�Got held up at home,� she said, turning red. It was the truth though; Regan had gotten into a spot of trouble at home for coming home late that morning. She got home at eleven after she had said a long goodbye to Chase, and her mom had chastised her for at least an hour. After that, she had to jump into her car and race over to Bailey�s. They all agreed to meet at noon, but unfortunately Regan had been a little bit late and was too quick out the door to call and say she was held up.

�How?� Bailey asked, now drawing her eyes away from her notepad.

�Mom yelled at me,� she said, wanting to get off the subject right away.

�Why?� Chloe now asked, pulling her eyes away once more.

�Well� awe! Is that Quincy�s senior picture?� Regan asked, looking down and finding the perfect way to get the subject off of her.

�Not so fast,� Maria said, knowing exactly what she was doing.

�What? I was just wondering� he looks really good Chloe,� she complimented, smiling at it.

�I know, doesn�t he?� Chloe exclaimed.

�AH!� screamed Maria, stopping Chloe in almost mid-sentence. �Why won�t you tell us? You usually do.�

�Because it�s different,� Regan said, looking down at her hands.

�How?� Bailey asked, now thoroughly interested.

�It just is!� Regan shot back defensively. She didn�t want the whole world to know that she and Chase had just lost it to each other that night.

�Well, then tell us sweetie,� said Bailey, now turning on the concerned face. It looked like something Regan was having trouble dealing with. �You tell us everything anyway.�

Regan sighed, knowing she was right. She wanted desperately to tell them all about it, but part of her felt indebted to Chase to keep it quiet. �This time it�s just a little more personal okay?�

�Well,� Chloe said, sighing. �Then let�s get back to prom.�

�Yeah,� she whispered, still looking down.

The three other girls turned to face each other and talk about the limo for prom again. It left Regan to sit there and wonder. She had a lot to wonder about, and them giving her a space for silence was just what she needed.

She knew that after having had sex with Chase, it left her feeling like they were closer than ever before. She knew now that she wanted to be with Chase and that she could grow to be in love with him. Even though before she had known for a fact she could never love him, things changed when he gave her a special part of himself. Being in love was something she loved, and she wanted it back so desperately she could taste it. She still loved Evan, but didn�t think she was in love with him anymore. It just didn�t feel right to say she was in love with Evan, but she definitely loved him.

�Hello? Earth to Reggie!� yelled Bailey.

Regan looked up at Bailey�s sweet and concerned face. �Something�s wrong hon, do you want to share it with us? We won�t tell!�

Regan shook her head. �No, I�m fine. I�m just thinking.�

�Okay,� she said, very obviously unconvinced.

�Well, tell me something,� Maria interrupted.

�What?� Regan asked, still not looking at her.

�If it�s not a big deal why don�t you just say it?�

Because I don�t want it to be a known fact that I am not a virgin, she thought to herself. �Because it�s not something I wish to share at this time.�

Right after she said that, she bit her tongue. She had practically given it away. Now the questions would start, and someone would eventually guess, and she hated to lie to her best friends.

�Well are you going to tell us later?�

�What is it?�

�Why can�t you just say it?�

�Does it have to do with Chase?�

�Is this about Evan?�

Regan shut her eyes and put her head on the table. She felt like she was either going to burst and tell them or start sobbing uncontrollably.

�You guys! Leave her alone!� yelled a voice from behind them. They all looked up, including Regan, to see who it was.

It was Trevor, coming to save the day. He had told Bailey he was going to drop by and hang out for a while after he got off work. Bailey had completely forgotten he was coming. He had just gotten there and had heard the barrage of questions hitting Regan. He saw that Regan obviously didn�t want to answer any of them and felt a right to protect her. Trevor and Regan had gotten very close when he and Bailey started dating sophomore year. They were like brother and sister.

�Hey sweetie,� Bailey greeted, standing up to kiss him. He accepted her into his arms and kissed her sweetly on the lips.

He put his arms comfortably around her waist and then looked at the other girls seated at the table. �So what�s up? Why are you guys bugging Reggie?�

They all rolled their eyes and Chloe answered for everyone. �She�s upset about something, and she won�t tell us.�

�Maybe she doesn�t want to,� Trevor offered.

Regan smiled at him, offering a silent thank you. He smiled back at her full blast and then turned to sink his face into Bailey�s neck. She giggled girlishly and fell backward as Trevor pushed her back farther and farther with his face. They toppled over the couch into a giggling and kissing mass.

Maria turned around and rolled her eyes. She got up really quick as Chloe and Regan silently watched the pair on the couch lovingly wrestle. Maria filled up a glass with ice and in the next instant the ice was down the back of Trevor�s shirt.

�AAAAHHH!� he squealed, pulling back from Bailey and trying desperately to get the cold ice off of his back.

The girls were now all laughing. As they all said, it was definitely a party when Trevor was around. Trevor was a sweet guy, one in a million they all agreed. Not only was he sweet, but he was funny as hell. He wasn�t the normal type of funny, where he would crack a joke and you�d laugh. Trevor was what you would call a clumsy comedian. He just kind of �fell into it.� He�d say the wrong thing or say something really stupid and it�d be the greatest joke any of them had ever heard. Trevor always defended his stupid comments with �I don�t think before I speak� and that was a very obvious comment. Even though Trev had that clumsy way about him, he was also a really big sweetheart. If any one of his friends were really upset, he would know the perfect thing to say to get them smiling again. That is how he and Regan had grown closer. He was like the big brother she never had, and he loved assuming that role. Trevor was a wrestler, and it was obvious. He stood at six foot one, had brown hair that was dyed light blonde at the tips, the most intense green eyes anyone had ever seen, and a full, perfect white smile. Thanks to the braces he had, his smile was even flashier than before. He loved Bailey very much, and it was obvious in the way he touched her.

�So Trev what brings you here?� Regan asked, now feeling comfortable.

He didn�t answer, but opened his mouth and the expression on his face was showing nothing but pain. He finally dropped the ice out of his shirt and then answered Regan. �To see you guys.�

�Why would you want to see us?� Regan inquired, trying not to sound as depressed as it had come out.

�Because,� he answered, leaving it at that. He got up, walked over to her, and kneeled in front of her. �Is there something wrong?� he whispered.

All the girls leaned in while Trevor talked to Regan softly. When Regan was being as stubborn as she could be, everyone knew Trevor had that magic touch to get her to open up. It didn�t matter when Regan was shutting herself off as much as she was at the moment. Piper�s concern couldn�t open her up, Bailey�s sweetness couldn�t do it, Chloe�s persistence couldn�t do it, and Maria�s sarcasm couldn�t do it either. It was the male hold that Regan had over her head. All her life, no matter how stubborn or how closed off she got, whenever a male in her life showed the slightest bit of care and concern, she would open up and spill everything like a pressured bottle of soap. Regan knew exactly why that was. It had a direct result with her father. Regan never had a father figure she could really open up to, but her mother had always been there for her. She told her mom everything and her mom always helped her out. But Regan�s father had scarcely been a part of her life, and she had never felt close to him. So whenever a male that she was close to would offer to hear her out, she would automatically open up and share.

Her big brown eyes fiercely darted beyond Trevor�s head. All the girls stopped dead in their tracks and turned around.

Trevor stood up, still looking at Regan. �Let�s go talk.�

Regan sighed, knowing she was going to tell Trevor everything as soon as they were alone. She didn�t know if she was really prepared.

Trevor led her to Bailey�s room, closed, and locked the door. Regan sat down comfortably on the bed, laid back on her elbows, and watched as Trevor walked over with questions written all over his face. He sat down next to her and didn�t take his eyes off of her for one second.

�There is something wrong.�

�Yes.�

�And you don�t want to tell anyone.�

�No.�

Trevor paused. �Would you like to tell me about it?�

Regan sighed.

�You don�t have to,� he jumped in.

�No, I�ll tell you.�

�Okay.�

Regan sighed one more time and then pushed herself up into a good position for talking. �Well,� she began. �It all started with this weekend.�

And from there, Regan spewed out the details. About the talk she had with Chase about Evan, about her realization that she still loved Evan, and about how she wanted so much to be in love with Chase. She told him about what she and Chase had done, and how she felt afterward.

�Well, if you think you can love Chase and you�re sure you�re not in love with Evan anymore� what�s the problem?�

�It�s the fact that I don�t know how much having sex with Chase made a difference. I mean, I feel closer to him in some way� but that same feeling that I�ve had before is back.�

�What feeling?� Trevor�s brows furrowed in confusion.

�The feeling that I can never be in love with Chase. No matter what.�

That was one thing Trevor didn�t expect to hear. �Well,� he said, straightening himself. �I guess that you have your answer right there.�

Now Regan was the one that looked confused. �What do you mean?�

�If you thought that making love to Chase was going to allow him into your heart, and now you are questioning it, you have your answer.�

Regan looked down at her legs and realized he was right. She kept staring down for a long time. Trevor sat silently, letting her think. Regan knew. She had known. She was a fool to think that doing that with Chase would conquer the fear of never loving him. Her heart had been telling her from the beginning that Chase was never going to be someone she fell in love with. Her heart wasn�t going to change because of it. She also knew that in a way, because she had reminisced about Evan, Chase was there as a comfort to her. She hated to think she had had sex with Evan because she needed comfort. She really hoped it had been deeper than that. But her heart was telling her otherwise.

Regan looked back up at Trevor with tears in her eyes. �I love Evan.�

Trevor saw the look on her face and opened his arms to embrace her. She fell into them and cried her eyes out.

It was almost three minutes of her crying before Trevor whispered, �Of course you do. You always will.�

�I don�t want to,� she sobbed.

�There�s nothing you can do about that,� he told her.

�But�� she protested, looking up and rubbing her eyes. �If I love Evan forever, I�ll never be able to love anyone else the same way.�

�No,� Trevor said, shaking his head. �That�s not true. You�ll have that passion for your first love forever, but that�s not to say that you won�t feel that way about someone else ever again. Of course you will. There�s someone out there for you.�

�B-But, what about Chase?�

�Chase isn�t the one.�

�But I�m not looking for the one!� she screamed finally. She knew the girls in the living room had heard that. �I�m looking for someone to be in love with!� she yelled at him. �I want to be in love again. I want someone to love me.�

�Well you knew from the get-go you�d never be in love with Chase. That reason is not because you�re still in love with Evan. That is because you knew from the start he wasn�t right for you. And you should have listened to it.�

�I thought I�d fall in love with him though.�

�Well your heart told you that you would never fall in love with him. Never go against your heart. Your heart is always right. Trust me.�

She sighed, and wiped the tears from her eyes. �I feel like I�ll never love anyone again.�

�You will. Just give it time.�

�I�ve given it time,� she protested. �A year.�

�Obviously it�s not long enough.�

�Well I don�t know how much longer I can wait. I need someone.�

Trevor said nothing more. That said it all. Once again, he held her and she cried onto his shoulder.

�You know what to do,� he said when she was through crying.

�Yeah,� she said, agreeing.

�You�re fine. You�ll find him. He�s not far away, I promise,� and with that, Trevor got up and opened the door. Bailey almost fell on top of herself when the door opened.

She smiled sheepishly at the two and kissed Trevor on the cheek. She looked at him innocently and then ran for her life when he ran after her.

Regan looked at the floor after they left and knew. She knew the answer to her problems, and especially to the one about Chase. She just didn�t want to face what she would have to go through to fix the problem.