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| Sirius let a few weeks pass by before he went to see her again. He�d fallen suddenly ill as soon as he reached his apartment that night. He felt like retching. He skipped a day of training, but knew he�d have to get back or his trainer would curse him into oblivion.
He let the sickness sweep over him in the next few days to follow, and then decided with a deep vehemence that he was going to win her heart no matter what it took. He had to. She was his Cassie, he was her Sirius. She�d confessed to loving him more than that other guy she�d been with, and she�d love him a great deal. Obviously, if she was still having trouble accepting the fact that Chris had left her, Sirius definitely meant something to her. What was holding her back? He just wanted her to tell him the truth. She knew he�d do that much in return for her. He�d tell her all of his secrets, and pretty much had. He just didn�t understand why she was running away from him continuously. How long can I put up with this? Is it possible that I want to give up? I�d give anything to hold her in my arms. I guess I should keep chasing her. He knew he wasn�t going to give himself an ultimatum until Cassie had gone to extreme extents to keep him away. He knew it was worth the battle he was fighting for her. He was waging a war between Cassie and this huge secret of hers, and he was determined to come out the victor. �I will win her heart, whether she wants me to or not,� he promised himself. That Valentine�s Day, he found himself at Cassie�s door again. This time, he wasn�t disheveled and barely wearing anything. He was slicked down and dressed up to impress her and convince her that he�d go to any lengths to love her. She opened the door and a look of shock crossed her face on seeing the person standing outside. �Sirius?� �May I come in?� She looked away and then back at him. �No, you may not.� Sirius frowned in confusion. He peered over her head anxiously. �You�re not� busy� are you?� Cassie sighed, placing her head on the doorframe. �I�m not on a date, if that�s what you mean. I am cooking, and I don�t want my dinner to burn up on account of you.� Sirius felt a stab in his heart but persisted again. �May I come in?� Cassie closed her eyes painfully. �I said no, Sirius. Please go away.� Sirius put a hand on the door, and testing his full strength, pushed it open further than Cassie was allowing it. He put his face into the door and felt rather foolish, but continued nonetheless. �Cassie, I told you I would be back. What is going on? Why won�t you let me in?� She finally relented, allowing him access. She led him over to the couch and sat down on it, crossing her arms and staring at him fixedly. He sat down next to her, wanting to just reach over and touch her golden tresses or just to smell her perfumed skin. He resisted. �I meant what I said last time, Sirius. I don�t think we can continue what we have. This friendship just can�t work. I have other feelings for you.� �Cassie, you may find this hard to believe, but I love you. It�s a little hard just to completely forget about someone you love so much.� She put her hand on her face and brushed her tears away. �I do love you, Sirius, but I don�t want to see you. If I even look at you, I�m reminded of all things I can�t have, and of the things that Chris took from me.� Sirius threw his hands up. �Oh, for Merlin�s sake, Cassiopeia! Why don�t you just tell me already? I�m going insane with this secret nonsense.� Cassie�s fiery look came into play just then. She narrowed her eyes at him warningly. �It�s not nonsense. If you even knew the half of it�� �Oh! Oh! But that�s where you�ve got it all mixed! I DON�T know the half of it! Hell, I don�t know the BIT of it, and it�s already gnawing at my insides. You are the one who�s already assumed that my love and devotion is so feeble and weak that it can be simply dismissed because of the presence of one miniscule secret.� �I don�t think your love for me is feeble and weak. I just think you won�t want to be with me after you hear it.� �Then why don�t you say it?� �I don�t want to tell you.� �You are the one standing between us. Not the secret. You�re the one who�s keeping it from me.� Sirius stood up to leave, but Cassie ran toward him. She placed her hands on his back and then stopped dead. He turned around slowly and saw Cassie in a state he�d never witnessed before. She was pale and shaking, her eyes focused on the wall behind his head, but not really focused there at all. She appeared to be looking at something completely not there at all. He grabbed her shoulders and shook her gently. �Cass? Cass? Cass, are you all right?� Cassie finally came back to him and her arms went lax. Her eyes focused back on Sirius� and in the next second, they rolled into the back of her head as her entire body then went limp in his arms. A few hours later, Sirius had put Cassie in her bed and laid a cold, wet rag on her forehead as to rouse her from her unconsciousness. She barely moved for three hours. Finally, after Sirius held her hand and watched over her quite patiently, she blinked her eyes and looked around at the ceiling. �What happened?� �You fainted,� Sirius whispered and Cassie jumped out of her skin. She looked at Sirius in confusion, as if unsure of why he was there. �I did?� she finally asked. �You�ve been out for three hours,� he said with a smirk. She put her head back down on the pillow and closed her eyes painfully. �Do you even remember what happened?� he asked. �I do now.� �You really scared me, Cass,� he confessed, taking the rag off of her forehead and pressing it against her flushed cheeks. She looked up at him and then, without warning, grabbed his wrist. She pulled herself up slowly, with help from Sirius, and set his hand back down. He was still clutching the rag. He handed it to her and she took it in her hands but did not press it back up to her face. She merely played with it and tugged at the seams. �May I ask what happened?� Sirius repeated in a short whisper. She didn�t look up at him, but continued fiddling with the rag. �Do you remember in school when I told you I could See?� He nodded. �Vaguely.� �Well, sometimes, when I touch people I get these visions. It�s rather unexpected and it usually has that affect on me. Especially if it�s somewhat distressing.� Sirius remembered how she had touched his back before he left and how rigid she had become. It was scary turning to see her face that blank and her usually pink face that horribly ashen. He�d never forget the fear in his heart when her eyes rolled back into her head. �What did you see?� She glanced at him quickly and then looked back at her rag. �I�d rather not tell you.� Sirius felt his heart drop into his stomach. It was something horrible. It was something that was going to happen to him, something going to happen to his friends, what could it be? �Please tell me.� Cassie�s eyes flooded with tears. �It�s a number of things. I don�t usually just see one specific event. I sometimes see snippets of things, like words or pictures that become reality.� Sirius gulped, leaning in closer to Cassie. �What did you see?� he repeated. �A veil.� He stared at her for a second and then looked away. �What kind of veil?� �There was actually more than one. A black one and a white one. The white one came first.� �A white veil?� Sirius inquired confusedly. �Yes. A white veil and then a black veil, only they were different. Very, very different. One was representing new life and growth, the other represented a dark force. A world that could be entered, but never left again.� Sirius remained silent for a few seconds. �Just veils? Nothing else?� Cassie shook her head. �Nothing else. Just, this really beautiful, glowing white veil that looked shiny and new, and full of hope and then a black shroud of disdain and fear, one tattered and torn.� Cassie then widened her eyes in surprise, but a smile crept to her lips. �There is a child,� she whispered. Sirius looked at her, perplexed. �What do you mean? A child?� �No,� she said, shaking her head. �Two children. That�s what else I saw. I knew there was something else. That black veil reminded me of it. There are two children, and they�re playing together. One has long blonde hair. They call her Andrea. She�s surrounded in a halo of white, and seems almost ethereal. The other has black hair, and I never knew his name. He�s running with the girl called Andrea, but he�s real. He�s full and clear, as if he is a real person and she�s only a spirit. They laugh. They talk about their fathers.� Sirius was now completely entranced by Cassie�s story, as if she had made it up and was now telling it to him to lure him to sleep. �She�s beautiful, Sirius. She wears all white and has blue eyes the color of frost. He has green eyes the color of emerald. They laugh and smile together. Her smile is small and delicate, his wide and impish. She speaks of the father she never got to meet, he speaks of the father he never got to know. I don�t know whose children they are, Sirius, but they feel familiar to me.� Sirius was lying on his back now, unsure of how he got to this position. �Children?� he whispered. �Children,� she breathed wistfully. �The girl called Andrea sounds exactly like you, Cassie,� he said quietly, staring at the ceiling. �She has long golden hair and icy blue eyes just like you have, with a smile that makes me weak in the knees. Delicate, like if you were to hold it in your hand, it would break into a million pieces. I don�t know who the boy would belong to.� Cassie was quiet for a long time. She sniffled loudly and it caught Sirius� attention. He looked up at her and was immediately concerned. �What is it?� �Nothing,� she said unconvincingly. �It just seems so absurd to me, the thought of me being a mother.� Sirius felt his spirits deflate the tiniest bit as he turned to look back at the ceiling. �Really? I always wondered what it would be like to have children. I don�t think it�d be so absurd if I were a father. I think I�d make a terrific father. Actually, having a few of my own running around doesn�t sound like too bad of an idea, does it?� But Cassie did not answer. Sirius turned to look at her once again. �Oh, come on, Cassie? Where�s the sarcastic remark about what kind of havoc my children would reek? Where�s the remark about my children never being able to survive if they had my brains?� Cassie still said nothing. She turned to look out the window. �Maybe you should go.� Sirius propped himself up on his elbow and stared at her. �Why?� �You should just go.� He looked around and then made to get up. �Cassie, was it something I said?� She hung her head. �In a way.� He said nothing more. He walked toward the door of her bedroom and then turned back around to face her. �I love you.� �GO!� she screamed harshly. He closed his eyes and just as a cold tear crept down his cheek, he Disapparated. |