 |
 |
 |
| Sirius found himself crumpled next to his bed after Apparating back from Cassie�s flat that night. What a miserable Valentine�s it had been. He couldn�t see what else there was to do that night. Remus was probably out with a fellow professor (as he now taught at a small wizard nursery school, something Moony was always good at) for the night. Peter always seemed to be preoccupied those days, and James and Lily probably did not want to be bothered.
And there he was, on the most romantic day of all the year, eighteen years old, alone and feeling more unloved than he ever had his entire life. Sure, his family life was no picnic. No one in his family seemed to understand the concept of love and affection, nor the difference between what was right and wrong behavior for a wizard. He did not grow up lavished in love as his best friends had. He found comfort in Lily who explained how awful her sister had been to her over the years. She�d never accepted Lily as a witch, though her parents had loved the idea. Lily was ridiculed by her sister and her sister�s friends for many years afterward, and could sometimes understand where Sirius was coming from. But at that point in all of his life, he had never felt lonelier. He had every intention of picking himself up off of the floor, Apparating straight to The Leaky Cauldron and getting completely pissed. He had nothing better to do than absolutely forget this holiday even existed. �Come on, Black. Just stand up.� He reached up onto the bed and pulled himself into a kneeling position, but found he could go no further. His legs were too weak and he felt too much like crying. He wanted everything to go away, he wanted his feelings for Cassie to disappear, he wanted Valentine�s Day to become nonexistent, he wanted love to be just some fictitious belief, and most of all, he wanted Cassie gone. He didn�t want to have to deal with the way he felt about her and the way he felt each time she told him she loved him but couldn�t be with him. Sirius put his head down on the bed and felt the tears pour out of his eyes. Before he knew it, his shoulders were shaking with heavy sobs and every horrible thought he could have ever thought managed to sneak its way into his brain. She�s playing me for a fool. That�s what�s really going on here. She keeps telling me she loves me and pushes me away just for sport. She�s doing it for some kind of sick amusement. What else could be the problem? She has the nerve to confess her deepest feeling of love and devotion and then turn around and say, �Oh, we can�t be together because of this secret.� What secret could be so horrible? Is she one of the Dark Lord�s minions? Is she a Death Eater? Did she murder a slew of people? Because I�d love her anyway. I wouldn�t know what to do then. Then again, she wouldn�t able to love, right? Isn�t that how it goes? Once you�ve turned to the Dark Side, you lose all feeling for anyone or anything else. So she can�t possibly be a minion of the Dark Lord. Then what in the world could be so terrible that she�s keeping us apart? His sobs echoed along the empty flat and came back to him. He lifted his head up, looking around the dark room. It mocked him mean spiritedly. It told him in a million different ways that he was all by himself. He was a lonely wizard who would never, in a trillion years, find someone to return his affections the way he wanted them to be returned. �I HATE YOU ALL!� he screamed suddenly, pounding on the bed with ferocity. He stood up and stared vengefully around the room. �You stare like you know what it�s like to be this hurt! LEAVE ME ALONE!� �Sirius?� He stopped dead. For a fleeting second, he�d madly thought that the walls had answered him. Someone was there, calling to him. It was Cassie. She was in the doorway, looking angelic in all white, her eyes red rimmed from crying, her voice hoarse as though she had been yelling as well. She swept her hair behind her face and her eyes twinkled like the frost that curled up onto the windowpane. His whole body went numb. She�d commanded him to leave only an hour before, and now she was standing inside of his bedroom. What was he going to do? Why was she here? �Why-� he began, but in one fluid movement, she crossed the bedroom and pressed her finger to his lip. �I thought about what you�d said, Sirius.� She stepped away from him and put her hand on her chest. �And you�re completely right. I am the one standing between you and me. I am the one who is not letting this happen. But I�m just so scared you�ll reject me if I tell you everything. If I tell you the real reason I don�t want to fall in love again, maybe you won�t want to be with me.� Sirius stared at her for a few seconds, almost as if he hadn�t heard what she�d just said. �What are you saying, Cassie?� he asked hopefully. She closed her eyes, and for the first time in what seemed like forever, she smiled. �I love you, Sirius, and I want to be with you. More than ever. Especially tonight, on this special holiday.� Everything seemed to go dark around Sirius and he felt the world spin beneath him. Cassie stepped toward him in a most sensual way. She closed her eyes and put her cheek against Sirius�. He felt elated at this gesture, and wanted nothing more than to feel it all the rest of his life. She brought her arms up and wound them tightly around his neck. He felt closer to her than before, and now feeling bolder, he let his own arms wrap around her back and pull her in. They stood in this embrace for what seemed like eternity. Cassie picked her head up and looked into his eyes. �I love you, Sirius.� �I love you, Cassie.� She watched him for a couple more seconds before she leaned in and placed her lips on top of his. Sirius felt explosions going off all around him as the kiss deepened in passion and fervor. Sirius couldn�t get her close enough as the kiss continued. Cassie�s hands found Sirius� hair and she ran her fingers teasingly through it as they kissed. Sirius let his mouth open slightly as he ran his hands up and down the length of her back soothingly. Cassie then pulled away from the kiss, staring up at Sirius. �I want to be with you, Sirius,� she whispered lovingly. He touched her face with his right hand, tracing her jaw line, and as he reached her chin, he pulled her lips toward his again. She let Sirius lift her up off of the floor and set her gently down onto the bed. He pressed his weight down on top of her as they continued to kiss. He picked his head up and looked down at her. �Are you sure?� She only nodded, grabbing the hem of his shirt and pulling it smoothly over his head and casting it down on the floor. She ran her hands down his bare skin and pressed a kiss softly on his cheek. He lifted her up by her waist and she wrapped her arms around his neck. He removed her sweater just as easily as she had removed his and dropped it. He kissed her shoulder and reveled in the beauty and creaminess of her bare skin. She was even more beautiful in body than he�d imagined. She buried her head in his neck and he moved her on the bed so he could pick himself up onto it. Within the next few tantalizing and romantic minutes, they�d stripped of their constricting garments and were able to fully love each other, as Sirius had never loved any other. Sirius was completely fascinated by how well Cassie fit into his arms. It was as if their bodies had been made to compliment each others.� He had never felt closer to anyone than Cassie at that perfect, splendid moment in time. He placed kisses all around her face, pausing occasionally to admire her exquisite beauty. She had her eyes closed for the most part, her sensual pink lips turned up in a smile of a peaceful contentment. Sirius intermittently inquired on to how she was faring, and she never countered with a negative response. She continued to hold him, to run her hands up and down his arms, to let him know she was truly there and that she loved him. And when he had spent himself, he fell beside her, feeling as though he�d never love anyone else as much as he loved Cassie at that exact moment in time. He wanted her beside him, like this, every night for the rest of his life. If he could open his eyes to her magnificent face every single morning, he could die a happy man. Wrapping his arms around her trembling body, he drew her close to him and kissed her hair happily. �Are you all right?� he asked quietly. She turned in his arms, moving the hair out of his face so she could look into his eyes. She set her hand on his cheek and stroked it tenderly. �I�ve never felt better in my entire life, Sirius Black.� Sirius closed his eyes and smiled blissfully. �I love you so much,� he said. He opened his eyes and felt tears rolling out his eyes and onto his cheeks. Cassie couldn�t help crying either. She gave Sirius a watery smile. �I love you.� She then buried her head into his chest and snuggled close to him. Sirius wrapped his arms tightly around her protectively. He would never let her get away again, not if he could help it. He was finally at peace. |