Dear Doc
Thank yo' fo' yer letter.
I was hopin' t'conclude this hyar transackshun next week but it will be delayed if I ah need t'git a cell phone. The office ladies can get me one in about four weeks so I guess this hyar will be delayed till December.
I would like t'look for a house for you.
How many bedrooms does you need? Do yer hankerin' ennythin' special like a pool, sauna, jacuzzi? Do yo' like t'live near water (lakes o' ocean?) o' in th' hills?
Kind regards
Rev Elmer
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From: adamuohiroma adamuohiroma <[email protected]>
Subject: URGENT REPLY
Date: Wed, 06 Nov 2002 20:34:51 GMT+1
ATTENTION:ELMER FUDD
I RECIEVED YOUR MAIL,AND HOW IS YOUR FAMILY? HOPE THEY ARE ALL FINE, IF SO THANK GOD.
REV.YOU REALLY GET THE RIGHT LOCATIONS OF THE HOUSES IWANT TO BUY.BUT I WANT THIS MONEY TO GET TO YOUR ACCOUNT BEFORE CHIRSTMAS.I HAVE PUT ALL MECHINARY IN MOTION TO SEE THAT YOU RECIEVE THIS MONEY IN YOUR NOMINATED ACCOUNT BEFORE CHIRSTMAS AND PLEASE TRY AND BE HAVEING TOUCH WITH ME ON DAILY BASES .
AS YOU TOLD ME, GET A MOBILE PHONE THIS WEEK REV.I GUESS YOU ARE NOT A SMALL MAN.GOD BLESSES IS IN OUR SIDE.
THANKS AND REGARDTO YOUR FAMILY
DR. ADAMS OBOZUWA
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7 November 2002
Dear Doctor Adams
Thanks you for yer kind email.
I reckon I am mighty fine but I doesn't have a family. I was an o'phan an' I never married up. The gals hyar at the home take fine care of me.
I doesn't reckon thet you unnerstood my email. It will take me at least four weeks t'git a cell phone. ah's hankerin' to conclude this hyar transackshun earlier. So please call or fax me on the numbers I sent you earlier.
I have been lookin' for a house for you - attached you will find some photos thet yo' may like. The house has 5 bedrooms and is mighty right purdy. I can buy it for you as soon as the funds arrive. Please be honess if you doesn't like the house ah will find you for you.
Is you married? Do yo' haf a family? Can you send me a photo of you so thet ah recognise you when we meet.
I received some letters from the govment - does thet mean thet the money will be a-comin' t'me soon?
God bless you my son
Rev. Elmer Fudd
DEAR REV.
I JUST RECIEVED YOUR MAIL NOW.REV.
HOW ARE YOU?
REV AS PER THE PAPER YOU TOLD ME YOU RECIEVED FROM GOVERNMENT TRY AND FAX IT TO ME IMMEDIATLY SO THAT I CAN GIVE YOU A CONSTRACTIVE ADVISE ON IT.
I CAN GIVE YOU ADVISE NOW BECAUSE I HAVE NOT SEE THE PAPER.PLS REV. DO THAT AS SOON AS YOU GOT MY MAIL.MY CAREING REV.
I SAW THOSE FANTASTIC STRACTURAL DESIGN HOUSES PICTURES YOU SEND.I LOVE THE MASTER PIECE HOUSES.THEY WILL BE OKEY FOR ME.THANKS. REV.I WILL STOP HERE FOR NOW BECAUSE OF MY TIGHT SCHEDULES OF MY ROUTIN DUTIES TODAY.
THANKS AND REGARD TO YOUR FRIENDS.
DR.ADAMS OBOZUWA
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10 November 2002
Dear Doctor Adams,
Thank for your yer kind email ah's fine thank you. I had a bit of a rash in the kyber pass region effin you now what I mean. But my friend Travis has a cousin who's a vet and he gave me this ointment to use. That's why I's bin asking what kind of doctor your are.
How is you? I hope thet your fine.
I's gald that your like the house but I doesn't want to rush into buying a house unless yer certain. Attached is pictures of two more fine properties that I looked at on the weekend for you.
Th' firts will cost $2.5 million, as enny fool kin plainly see. Th' second $2.3m whut does yo' reckon. ah will keep lookin'. Is yo' married up wif? Do yo' haf enny chillun? How menny varmints will be livin' in th' house?
God bless you. The gals send their love.
Rev. Elmer
In the meantime - good news - The Debt Reconciliation Committee and the Office of the Accountant - General Of the Federation have written to advise that the transfer is approved!
11 November 2002
MY DEAR REV,
I JUST RECIEVED YOUR MAIL.EVERYTHING YOU WROTE ARE GUITE UNDERSTOOD.
THANK GOD YOU ARE IMPROVING FROM YOUR ILLNESS. I LOVE TO HEAR THAT REV.
THE HOUSES YOU SHOWED ARE NOT BAD AT ALL AND ALSO THEIR PRICES ARE OKAY.THEIR CHEAP. I WILL LIKE HAVE THEM AFTER THE MONEY HAVE BEEN TRANSFERED TO YOUR NORMINATED ACCOUNT.
ALSO REV, THE PAPER YOU SAID THE GOVERNMENT SENT TO YOU,YOU HAVE NOT FAX IT TO ME.WHY? IS THAT THE WAY WE ARE GOING TO GET THE MONEY? PLEASE LET KNOW WHAT IS HAPPENING.BECAUSE I WANT THIS MONEY TO BE IN YOUR ACCOUNT BEFORE CHRISTMAS THERE I WILL MEET WITH YOU , IF POSSIBLE AND MY WIFE AND TWO OF MY CHILDREN. PLS REV LET ME KNOW THE TRUITH POSITION OF THE TRANSACTION WITH YOU AS FOR I HAVE NO PROBLEM AT ALL. IS ONLY THAT I AM VERY BUSY MAN IN MY COUNTRY.REV ,YOU ARE THE PERSON DELAYING THIS TRANSACTION
NOW.FAX THE COPY OF THAT PAPER TO ME IF WE CAN FORG AHEAD FOR THIS TRANSACTION.
THANKS AND BEST REGARD.
DR. ADAMS
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13 November 2002
Dear Doctor Adams
I is sorry kind sir, I thought that you received the faxes as well. I have attached copies for your reference. It is great news ain't it! Fry mah hide!
The money must shorly be arriving. Kind doctor please don't say that I's been delaying this here transactiun as I have been working mighty hard from my end, cuss it all t' tarnation. As you are aware, I have opened the bank account and have been looking mighty hard for a property for you an your fambly. On account o' you have only two kids I have been looking for something smaller.
Please let me knows if yo' like any of these. The first is a bargain at only $1.9m - the realtor said thet it is worth at leats $2.2m but that the ownys be hankerin' to sell. The second is $2.5m but fine within your budget. I will keep lookin' for anything better.
Do you want to buy just in your name or will your wife also be an owner? Please send me your full names an' address for the house contract.
God bless yo'u
Rev. Elmer
The next two houses that I found for him are these. I hope that he likes one of them.
