Chapter 9
The Reports of My Renovation Being Nearly Completed were Greatly Exaggerated
Table of Contents
Days 255 & 256 - It's the weekend.  Saturday, my Mom and I cook three kinds of chili for the holiday tomorrow.  Of course, I mean the Super Bowl.  Sunday we eat, drink and watch football.  I pick the Panthers.  Final score: Patriots 32, Panthers 29.
Day 254 - I try reaching John a number of times today and keep getting his voicemail.  He's supposed to pick up the stone at Gem Marble (in Ronkonkoma), drive into Manhattan, pick up the grout at Bella Tile in the East Village, go to the apartment and drop everything off, park his truck and then install the stone slabs.  (Yeah, I'm laughing too, as I'm typing it!).  I finally hear from him at about 3:30pm.  He asks, "do you want the good news or the bad news first?"  The 11 words I never want to hear.  Anyway, I always opt for the bad news first, hoping that the good news will emotionally (or actually) counteract it.  In this case, it basically did-- when they were loading the stone onto John's truck at Gem, the piece of slate for the hearth "shifted on the guy" who was carrying it, fell and broke.  The good news is that they had more slate, they cut and polished a new piece and all the stone is loaded on John's truck.  So, John spent the day waiting and never came in.  Supposedly, the plumber came and tested the fireplace gas line, but didn't have time to get the back bathroom sink working.  This one stumps me-- it's been in place and hooked up for weeks and looks good to go, but no water comes out.  It's probably just turning a knob on the wall, but nobody ever does it.
Day 253 - I meet John at about 3 o'clock.  He is going to pick up the stone slabs (and sinktop, I hope) at Gem Marble tomorrow and he needs money.  He tells me the plumbers are coming tomorrow to test the gas line for the fireplace.  Better to test it BEFORE John installs the stone slabs on the fireplace (but you wouldn't want to do it too soon in advance, obviously).  I ask John if they can hook up the sink, toilet and shower in the front bathroom.  He says, not really because he still has to grout the walls and he won't be able to easily get behind the fixtures to do that.  Of course not.  BTW, the reason I had to meet John so early is because today is his wife's birthday and he wants to get home early so they can go out to dinner.  I mention to John that I was sure I would miss her birthday (i.e., HE WOULD BE FINISHED BY NOW).  As you know, the children's birthdays and his anniversary are sacrosanct holidays-- no work is done.  Anyway, John apologizes (so?) and says at least he didn't take the entire day off.  Yippee.
Day 252 - Wed. - It snows, John doesn't come in (surprise!).  I don't go up today, either (an unfortunate pattern is forming).  John  e-mails me a laundry list of things he says we need; one of which is "bathroom accessories."  Part of the problem is that things have been delivered and John doesn't inventory them, and the place is such a mess he can't find anything.  We have everything for the bathroom, except the toilet paper holder.  So, I answer John's e-mail (obviously written by his wife-- it has no spelling mistakes and the list is bulleted �) point by point.  He doesn't respond nor does he tell me what day would be best for me to take off for "Handle Installation Day." I don't think he's particularly happy about my spending the day with him.  Too bad.
Day 251 - I don't go up to the apartment today, either.  Robert goes up and drops off the new mortise locks for the front doors.  the ones that came with the doors were for left-handed doors and we have right-handed doors or vice-versa (not surpised are you?).  He tells me Louie and Otto were there.  Louie was finishing up the front bathroom and Otto was painting.  John came later in the day.
Day 250 - Monday, January 26, 2004 - I don't go up to the apartment today.  I call John but he never calls me back.  Robert goes up to the apartment after he picks up the kitchen cabinet handles.  He calls me afterwards and tells me that John, Louie and Otto were all there. John and Louie were laying the front bathroom floor tile.  Otto is sanding the walls of the den.  Robert puts the handles away and tells John not to attach them.  This is one of those things where we basically have one shot to get it right and I want to be there this time (see Day 236 (the chamfer debacle)).  I'm going to take a day off on "Handle Installation Day."  I'll consider it a Mental Health Day.
Days 248 & 249 - It's the weekend.  It's cold.  There's no football on TV.
Day 247 - I speak to Robert in the morning and he asks me to speak to Louie in Spanish.  I explain to him that I want to make sure  we have enough blue glass tile of the original order (one single lot) to tile the shower ceiling.  I had initially asked John to tile everything but the shower ceiling, just in case there wasn't enough tile from the original lot, the shower ceiling would be the least conspicuous space to put upa slightly different color lot.  Now, I want to get the shower enclosure measured, and I need the shower ceiling tiled.  Had the tiling been finished sooner, this wouldn't have been an issue.  I tell Louie to stop tiling the alcove where I am going to hang a bathrobe (and you really can't see) and tile the shower ceiling and visible wall surfaces first.  Later in the day, John calls and we have a long conversation about how much tile is left, whether we can have the shower enclosure measured without the tile being on the shower ceiling, etc.  In the end, there is enough tile to do all of the wall surfaces but not the shower ceiling.  But, we can have the shower measured for the glass enclosure before the shower ceiling is tiled.  Robert is ordering more blue glass tiles, which will take two or three weeks to come in (maybe less-- hardy har har!).  John still hasn't heard from his wall unit guy.  He says he is going to stop by over the weekend, because this isn't like him (Wall Unit Guy) not to return his calls for so long.  John tells me Louie and Otto will paint over the weekend if I pay them cash.  I tell him I'll get back to him.  I don't.  I meet my parents at the apartment in the evening.  The back bedroom is all painted.  There is a painted door resting on two pails on the floor.  The radiator pipe has the connection it needs to attach to the radiator, but of course, the radiator is not attached.  The little hallway and den are almost all painted, just the trim and mouldings need to be done.  Blackened (the paint color) is very subtle.  The plastic is off of everything in the kitchen, but everything is covered with dust.  Even so, you can see the potential.  The front bathroom shower floor is tiled and looks very good.  They have the radiant heat mesh strewn on the floor.  Maybe that's (one of) Monday's jobs.  The front bedroom still looks like a construction zone as does the living room.  John once said he was obsessively clean.  Yeah, right.  The slate tiles are still not grouted.  Oh, and I am now convinced that John was waiting for Louie to come back to finish the front bathroom.  There has been more done in there in the past four days since Louie came back, then in all the weeks he was gone.  Gracias INS.
Day 246 - Thurs. -  I don't go up to the apartment.  I really don't want to see John or what's going on.  I think Otto is continuing to paint and Louie is continuing to tile.  I don't know if John ever came today.  BTW, you might not realize this, but three years have passed since I started the renovation.  It feels like it to me.  Happy New Year!  4702-- It's the Year of the Monkey.
Day 245 - Well, John never faxed the shower ceiling plan to me ("it wouldn't go through") and "forgot" to fax it to Robert (does anyone think he really did it at all?).  He wasn't at the apartment until sometime after noon.  Robert called and we went over the shower ceiling stuff.  I had been thinking about it and agreed with both John and Robert that putting full tiles along the front of the shower ceiling will look better than lining the ceiling tiles up with the wall tiles.  Well, you'll have to see it, to see what I mean.  Other than this, I have no idea what went on today.
Day 244 - I meet Robert at the apartment in the morning.  Otto is there and Louie is back!  Yes, Luis (a.k.a., Louie) is back from Colombia!  Now, maybe my bathroom will finally get done.  Otto was at the apartment yesterday.  He fixed the wall where the leak was and started painting the back bedroom.  The Parma Gray looks good.  I notice the pendant lights are hung in the kitchen.  If only the plastic was off all the cabinets and appliances, the handles were on the cabinets and drawers, the flooring was done and I decided what to do with the walls (paint or paper?), the kitchen would be finished!  Robert and I decide on light placement in the living room (more or less) and thanks to Otto's brilliant idea, we put little pieces of blue tape on the ceiling to mark the spots.  I look at the slate tiles (that I had to choose and arrange ASAP, so John could lay them, have them "set-up" and then be grouted), they're still not grouted and I notice that two of the tiles have shifted and one of them is chipped.  Louie is going to try and pry them out without breaking them (yeah, sure) reposition the two that shifted and replace the chipped one with one of the four remaining tiles.  Did we order really well in this instance or cut it really close?  I speak to John in the afternoon.  We discuss the lights in the living room.  I'm still up in the air about how many high-hats to put in.  I ask if he picked up anything from Gem Marble.  He tells me he picked up the shower thresholds but not the sinktop and the stone for the fireplace will be ready the Friday after next (i.e., January 30th).  I ask when the wall unit will be ready.  It was supposed  to be this week.  It took about a month to get the drawing of the wall unit (and I'm convinced his wife did it.  She's taking architectural drawing classes) (See Day 202) and it's been over a month since then.  Anyway, John has a call in to "his guy."   No one ever seems to return John's calls.  John calls me later in the afternoon to ask me how I want the shower ceiling tiles to go.  He gives me two options  I don't understand his explanation of either one.  He is going to fax something to me tonight.
Day 243 - Monday, January 19, 2004 - Martin Luther King, Jr. Day - John is upstate, skiing with his family.  It's nice that on this day, he can break his chains of servitude. 
Days 241 & 242 - It's the weekend.  It's warmed up a little.  The Thursday snow melts, but it snows again on Sunday.
Day 240 - I speak to Robert.  He has told Warren the electrician not to put in the lights in the living room until I come and re-decide on positioning.  He is also going to put in the Lutron dimmer switches I asked for.  I speak to John.  He didn't come in on Wednesday (his truck was towed-- non-payment of parking ticket(s)) or Thursday (Parent/Teacher conference), so he didn't get a chance to do the templates for the fireplace.  He says, he'll do it today and drop it off on his way home.  I ask him if he can start working on the front bathroom sometime.  Right after he does the templates, he's going to jump right back in there... 
Day 239 - Thurs. - I speak to no one.  I know John is probably not coming in at all today-- Parent/Teacher conference for Tyler.  Apparently, they're trying to get his teacher fired.  Whatever.  Anyway, afterwards he's supposed to pick up my front bathroom sink and shower thresholds from Gem Marble and drop off the templates for the stone fireplace front.  I doubted he would come in after that, and since it's snowing this morning, it's pretty much a lock.  My friend, Sally is in from London and I meet her at the apartment in the evening.  She has promised not to notice the things that are done badly or wrong, and comment only on the things she likes.  She is true to her word.  I, however, can't help but point out both (leaning towards pointing out the stupid, badly done things).  Robert has told me that they had marked the living room ceiling to show where they are going to put the high-hats and dining table light fixture.  I look up at the living room ceiling and realize that between the stereo speakers, the air conditioning vents and the light fixtures, I have very little actual ceiling.  I am not thrilled with the placement of the lights and leave a message with Robert.  As you know, I started bitching about the Farrow & Ball paint, and the fact that I was now waiting for the shipment to come in so they could paint the rooms for which I picked the colors.  It must be kismet (or is is karma?)-- the radiator in the bedroom of apartment 3D leaked and messed up the ceiling and wall a little.  Good thing we didn't paint, yet.  Guh.
Day 238 - Wed. I speak to Robert in the morning.  He tells me the tub enclosure was installed... but there's a little problem... the color of the metal around the enclosure is the wrong color, but they can easily change it.  I don't even ask what color it is.  I ask/remind him that the glass doors should be plain, with just a knob on them, not a towel bar.  I discussed this with him at least twice.  Of course, I have a towel bar.  He says, (oops) his fault and he will get it changed.  He also tells me that the Zee-lite undercounter xenon lights (that he recommended) don't come in the sizes I need.  I ask him to find anything else that does.  I ask him if he's ordered the kitchen cabinet handles yet, and he hasn't.  Now Robert is not helping my mood.  I don't speak to John at all and I don't speak to Robert again today.  I don't know if anything was done in the apartment today. 
Day 237 - John calls me in the morning.  He wants to know where the speakers are supposed to go in the living room.  We have gone over this ten times.  I tell him it's marked on the back wall (and I know this time it's not spackled or primed over, yet, which is his usual excuse).   Robert calls while I'm on the phone with John.  I talk to Robert for so long, John hangs up.  I tell Robert to call John and tell him what we discussed.  My bathtub enclosure is being installed today.  That will finish up the back bathroom!  I leave a message for Robert asking when the paint might arrive and reminding him what kind of light switches I want and various other small things.  The problem with this Farrow & Ball (fa-a-a-bu-lous) paint is that you can't walk into any Janovic Plaza and pick up a couple of gallons, paint the damn room and be done in a day.
Day 236 - Monday, January 12, 2004 - Nevius (Architect No. 1) and his friend, Robert are up from New Orleans and they meet me in the afternoon, so they can see the place and Nevius can measure the kitchen island and front bathroom door jambs for stainless steel.  John, Otto, Bobby and Robert (the other one) are there.Nevius starts to measure, while I show New Orleans Robert (sorry, Robert) around.  Nevius and John have a little run-in about the "straightness" of the walls (or lack thereof).  Nevius is questioning whether stainless steel door jambs will work and John saying, he'll take care of it.  I don't think John appreciated Nevius coming up just once during this whole project and then having something to say.  While I'm showing stuff to N.O. Robert, I look at the slate floor that I had so meticulously planned out with my accent tiles (placed exactly where I wanted them) and it doesn't look right.  John asks, "what's wrong?" and says, "Robert had the same look."   I tell him the accent tiles aren't placed right.  He says, they're exactly the way I laid them out.  No way.  After we had laid them out the other day, I went home and told my parents what we had done and my Dad asked me how John will know where to put them.  Foolishly, I believed John when he said he would mark the tiles I wanted cut and then pick them up in rows and it would be exactly as I wanted them.  I should have known better.  Anyway, we shift a few tiles around and it's closer to the way I originally had it.  John asks me to decide how I want the cork floor in the kitchen as he wants to start laying it.  He originally said the cork floor should be last, because it needs a smooth, clean surface underneath and to be installed in a clean, dustfree room.  Plus, he didn't want too much construction traffic traipsing over it.  Now, he thinks it's okay.  I think he was right the first time and I tell him so.  And it's not like there's nothing else he can do.  HOW ABOUT FINISHING THE SECOND BATHROOM!?  I also find out the reason some of the corners on the granite countertops are cut too close.  I finally phrase the issue right.  I said, "I don't understand how these corners were cut wrong if they did a template for them."  John says, "Oh, they did a template for these counters, but they didn't mark the corners, they left them square.  They were just supposed to 'chafer' [sic] (see chamfer) the corners.  So, they granite people came and left without an exact measurement, either on their own accord or because of John (I can just hear him saying "oh, just put a chafer on it!")(in any event, I doubt John suggested they take an exact measurement) and then they just cut the corners based on... what?  I have no idea. 
Days 234 & 235 - It's the weekend.  It's butt-freezing cold.
Day 233 - Fri. - I go up to the apartment in the morning.  John wants to lay the slate tile in the entryway today, so it can "set up" over the weekend.  He wants me to come and pick out and arrange the tiles.  He has finally realized I'm "particular" (read "a pain in the butt") about things.  I told him awhile ago, I wanted to put the color enhancer on the slate and I asked him to move all the tiles into the entryway before I get there.  He tells me he gets in at 7:30-8a.m., so that should give him plenty of time...  Of course,  when I get there at about 9:30a.m., he is just starting to move the tiles and lay them out.  Anyway, I look at my paint choices again (I still like them).  John and Otto are trying to convince me to paint all of the mouldings and trim white.  I prefer using the same color for walls, moulding and trim, except flat on the walls and semi-gloss on the trim and mouldings.  I also see that most of the sills are in, and they look good.  I might have gone with a lighter stone, but you won't be able to see dirt, dust or soot on them and that was what I was going for!  Robert comes in, as John finishes moving the slate tiles.  I start pointing at them with a long, thin piece of bamboo flooring (my back is better, but I'm not bending down and moving tiles).  We put them into a pattern that I like and place the accent tiles where I want them.  I tell John (again) that I want to use the color enhancer on the slate.  He acts like this is the first he's heard of it.  Well, using the enhancer will (of course) mess up his schedule of laying the tiles on a Friday, so they can "set up" over the weekend, but he says he will lay them on Monday and then put a 2x10 (piece of wood, I think) over them as a bridge.  Something John said to me yesterday, led me to believe that the fireplace is still not the way I want it, and of course, it's not.  In addition to not raising the opening, they didn't move the firebox out, either.  Possibly for the same reason (carbon monoxide and the flue).  The way the wall unit is being built, the firebox has to come out three inches more.  John will put in a three inch wide piece of slate all around the opening (as a nice decorative touch, of course) and I will keep the logs towards the back of the firebox.  Note to myself-- buy a carbon monoxide detector.
Day 232 - I go up to the apartment in the morning to see how the paint looks in the light of day.  I choose the colors for the front bedroom (Skylight), den/media room (Blackened-- it's a white/gray/blue), little hall (Blackened, again) and the back bedroom (Parma Gray-- although, I vacillated between that and using Skylight in there, too).  The fireplace people are here.  They are widening the fireplace opening (which they should have done in the first place).  I'm told they can't make it higher (something to do with the flue and carbon monoxide).  I'll take their word for it.  John has brought in a piece of birch and put some Minwax stains on it.  I have to decide what kind of wood I want for the wall unit in the den, so they can start building it.  I like the birch and opt for that over the maple, but I'm not thrilled with any of the stains.  The Jacobean is good for accent pieces (doors, maybe), and if I had to choose one of the other colors today, I'd choose the Sedona Red (which doesn't look very red on the birch), but I'm going to buy some other stains and see how they look.  BTW, the sinktop and sill are in, in the back bathroom and they look very good.  Things are finally coming together (N.B. It's Day 232).  Oh, and my back's starting to feel better.
Day 231 - Wed. - My back kept me up most of the night.  I don't go to work.  Luckily, John does.  He says, he has all of the saddles, sills and the sinktop for the back bathroom.  The only thing he is missing (stone-wise) is the front bathroom sinktop and the shower threshold.  He is going to finish the back bathroom and then start putting in the sills.  The plumbers, Warren (the electrician), and the fireplace people are (supposedly) all coming tomorrow.
Day 230 - I tell Robert I will meet him at the apartment at 4 o'clock, to look at paint colors.  I want to decide on the back rooms, at least.  I am in agony (my back) and make an appointment to see a doctor near the apartment, and yup, I have lower back pain.  I ask for a shot in the back or horse tranquilizers.  She prescribes a muscle relaxant and anti-inflammatory.  I go to the pharmacy and then to the apartment.  Robert, Otto and Bobby are there.  John never came.  No surprise there.  Bobby is putting down bamboo in the long hallway. Otto is prepping the walls for painting.  The paper is off the floor in the back bedroom and the den.  It looks good.  They have also put up plastic between the den and the short hallway, and the den and the kitchen, giving me a slightly less dusty area of the apartment.  While we're there, I get a UPS delivery of some accent tiles I ordered for the entryway.  Robert and I recount kitchen cabinet handles-- there's discrepancy with handle sizes (which size and how many) and I just want to make sure we're right before we order 71 handles.  Robert has brought about 20 cans of this English paint (Farrow & Ball) (supposedly, "it's slightly more expensive, but it has better coverage").  I pick some candidates for each of the rooms (Blackened, Powder Blue, Parma Gray, Skylight, Dead Trout (yes, Dead Trout-- ahh, those wacky English), etc. and Otto paints each of them in labelled, taped squares in the various rooms and hallways.  When Otto's done, Robert and I leave to have martinis and meet my parents for dinner, so they can drive me and my aching back home.
Day 229 - Monday, January 5, 2004 - I don't go up to the apartment today.  I speak to John, who says he will pick up all of the granite that's ready, the front doors, more wood (birch) and stains tomorrow.  So, he's not sure if he'll come in.  I tell him, I'm sure he won't, he says, he might if he can get everything done early.  Yeah, right (double positive = negative).  BTW, my back is killing me.  I go home early.
Days 227 & 228 - It's the weekend.  My back goes out.  I watch football.  On Sunday, my parents and I meet Robert at the apartment to count cabinets and drawers to see how many handles and of which size we need.  We did not do it in the most efficient manner, but it gets done.  Back still hurts, I go home and watch more football.
Day 226 - Supposedly, John (and maybe Otto and Bobby) is working at the apartment today.
Day 225 - Thursday, January 1, 2004 - No comment.
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