my weekly dose of dementia, thanks to Tiggy121, my newsletter will now be
refered to as "Sanity for the Sick and Twisted" or SST for you lazy folk.
Thanks again Jessica, the name fits perfectly. Now for some of the
suggestions that did not make it, be prepared, some of them are sooo stupid,
that they may emit small amounts of radiation through your computer. "Zygote
Fans", "Health Club for Half-Tards", "The Only Newsletter Planned to Resurect
Hitler", "RedRum and other Fine Wines", "Brunswick Hillbillies", "Don't You
Hate Alanis Morisette, that Canadian Bitch?", well as you can see, none of
these suggested titles were ever taken in for consideration, (well maybe the
one about resurecting Hitler....), but anyways, SST is clearly the winner,
even if by default.
Now I'm not sure how many of you out there will actually get this, with
everybody moving to college. If you have another e-mail you would rather I
send this to, just give me a buzz. And Nikki, I just wanted to say in front
of everyone that I love you very much, and I am not afraid to admit it in my
newsletter. Hang in there we can get through this.
Well back to business, we will now move onto the letters column.Our first
letter is from Bailehead7,(for those of you who don't know her, she is an
actress, you might have seen her playing a hairball on a Drain-o comercial)
Um, Tom, hate to burst your bubble, but you know very well that the
cologne that smells like money is not your idea, its from Seinfeld....just
thought I would remind you.
That is where I think that you are mistaken my dear fuzzy friend. In fact
I know exactly where you went wrong, and I'll be more than happy to point out
your errors. See in Seinfeld, the character Kramer had the ingenius idea of
making a cologne that smells like a beach, rightly named " The Beach", not a
cologne that smells like money.If i remember correctly it was Episode 31( The
Pez Dispencer), Season 3, where Kramer first came up with this zany idea for
a fragrence, and proposed it to Calvien Klein. Of course they rejected it,
but the next season, in Episode 51(the Pick), Kramer finds out that Calvin
Klein ripped off his idea and made the cologne without him. So you see
Bailehead7, you must have confused television with real life, hey, its a
mistake we've all been caught with.
My next letter comes from youngfolker:
dear pezorgy,
i am writing in response to your letter about the cash schemes and such.
the whole idea of saving the pennies is paying off. i have been saving my
change ever since we made our first trip to the store. soon, i will return
to that machine at country counter...er...giant eagle...to get cash for my
measly coinage. trust me people, this works! although, that is not the
reason i wrote. i am writing to reaffirm the whole part about not getting
soap inside your penis. you girls may all think this is a joke, but let me
tell you! just one teeny bit of soap in that little hole at the penis-tip
and you will feel pain like never before. not only will it hurt like a
bitch, there is nothing that you can do about it. you cannot rinse out the
soap, only wait for the pain to subside, which can take forever. so, when
cleaning your penis, i suggest being really careful. i mean, you should
always clean it well....its really important not to lose it to
mistreatment....but be careful of the dreaded hole. maybe i can suggest
plugging it up in some way, but then you cannot pee in the shower.
So I was right, again, damn, but soap in the penis hurts. You all
probably thought that I was an idiot for even saying such a statement, but
it is nothing but the truth. I thing all guys of the world should unite
against soap in the penis, only then do we have a chance at true shower
happiness. And Dan, about pee-ing in the shower, that is sick man, really
sick. Most of us just pee in the sink.
tom
well you've shocked me!! the news letter is a big hit....i love it. the
weekly dose of evil you send to me makes me remember the old time in study
hall and working on prom. you really are a sick bastard!!!!! thats why i love
you, you nigger-jew!!! well i'll see you soon...dont forget to send me a copy
of the hooker contest.
nikki(NicciEC)
Did you expect any less of me Nikki? Oh well, I'm glad that you are
enjoying it. You can always count on me for "sick bastard" stuff every week.
Just remember, evil never dies.
Tom,
you really are cracked out....... where do ou come up with this crap!!lol.
You're such a goober!!! Wait 'a' go!!
Katie( cabbykate)
I'm not sure exactly where I come up with this stuff, but you too can be
just like me. All this insanity can be accomplished in 5 easy steps, step
one is to send me $10, and I'll send you the other 4 steps. All the steps are
easy to follow, even a drunken mexican can do it! My next letter is from my
nemisis physco171, these are always good.
Ahhh i see were back to wrinting again. Well I am thrilled you get some
feed
back. Although you are lord of nothing and thats all I have to say about
that. o yes and if you think I am week here is my quote. (strike me down I
will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine.)
Well physco, you never cease to amaze me. And correct me if i am wrong,
but did you steal that quote from Star Wars? Well anyways, I think that I am
the lord of many things.....Lord of Wet Napps.....Lord of Hypocracy.....Lord
of Lazzyness...well the lord list can go on, and on, but my newsletter
hasgotten quite lenghty, so I'm signing off.
