I'd like to say a few words before I start up Dear Pezorgy. I know this might sound crazy ( comming from me ???), but i've been starting to look at people as food. What boggles my mind is figuring out who would taste the best (so I know who to plan my trips to Antartica with). Farmers fatten up pigs, does that mean fat humans would taste the best? Or do I go the "veal" approach and hit them young and lean? Would too much muscle make them stringy? Do mexicans taste spicy? Would italians go great with maranera sauce? Do chinese people have msg in them, and if I eat them would i be
hungry an hour later? White meat or dark meat? Are Jews Kosher? Would cops taste like bacon? All these questions left unanswered........the mysteries of cannibalism. I'm sure people pie would taste the best, speaking of pie, I think Jodie has something to say.
Dear Pezorgy,
I totally agree with you on the Eggo thing. The Government sucks ass. I mean, if they can't control and have in mind what happens when something like this happens in the presidential election, how the hell are they
supposed to rule our country? I mean Bush is the biggest dick I have ever seen...his comments are all moronic (as some of you received my email of his
quotes). Ug...it saddens me that even in America we cannot do everything professionally or right...go with the Eggo thing and tom, i think you should be our "god" as you call it.
~Bean~
I'm glad you have a mind of your own not to believe everything the government tells you. Like Roswell, come one, is it just a coincidence that A UFO crashes in 1947, and both Pauley Shore and Sinbad get sitcoms in the
90's? I think not. Is it also a coincidence that Bob Dole ( Vaigra spokesman) lost the last election, and now two losers fight over the state that looks like a limp penis? I think not. Our next letter comes from an old teach.
Did you know that the first turkey was a TOM turkey? Why is it called Tom anyway?
I was talking to Susy and she said that we out here in computer-land weren't responding to your messages. I bet some of us think that you get so much mail that we don't want to add to the list. So, we don't respond quickly, if at all.
I don't enjoy Holidays of any sort, except spring break (if that's a holiday). I guess I've been ruined by the wholesome depiction of holidays on the old black-and-white shows (Ozzy and Harriet, Leave it to Beaver) and the mind-numbing happiness in magazine ads and all the tv commerical parties--"where everyone knows your name."
I don't know how to enjoy a holiday in reality. Maybe I'll try to block all other suggestions out and try my own way to enjoy a holiday.
Did you ever see Cold Comfort Farm? A good rental. And the family seems real enough to me.
aschmidt Thanks for wishing me/ us a Happy Thanksgiving. Happy
Thanksgiving to you too.
I too am not a big fan of any holidays (well except Halloween),
which is why this year I plan on ruining christmas for everyone. The grinch
was a failure, I plan on suceeding. First I plan on telling a 100 little kids
the truth about Santa. Then I plan on taking a walk with a pair of pliers,
crunching one lightbulb in every set down the street. I'll wrap up dead
puppies and put them under trees. I'll dig up Jimmy Stewart and re-innact
"It's a Wonderful Life" with his corpse. And for a grand finally I'll set up
an art display in my front yard, I'm thinking the tittle to be "sleigh ride
with rednecks", a bunch of dead deer attached to a pick-up truck with two
rednecks holding the reigns.
Well I asked Easy Liz a question, it went a little something like this :
"If you could be any kind of pretzel, what kind would you be and why?"
Dear Tom--
In a delayed response to your question If I were a
pretzel I would be an alphabet pretzel of the letter
"N". Why you might ask, because the "N" has a compact
form that gives the most calming crunch and the tangy
salt in blissful combination with the crunch I crave
tantilizes my taste buds and drives me wild. I would
like to be this pretzel if I was one so I could
satisfy everyone the way it does me. I aim to please.
Enjoy--Love--Easy Liz
ps sorry for the long wait I hadn't checked this
address in a while TTYL
And now for Handy Randy
Sometimes life is a bitch,
Instead of a gift it plays you a trick,
To little Randy life wasn't too grand,
Instead of a normal body, he was born with one giant hand.
Some childhood things were damn near impossible to do
Like baseball, tying laces, and rubix cube,
Instead of clapping with two hands, he just slapps his head,
Instead of playing ooutside, he just sits on his hand like a statue of lead.
Trying on gloves is out of the question,
He once was called a "damn dirty ape" by Charelton Heston,
Poor circulation is bad for his health,
And don't ever ask how this little boy plays with himself.
