My name is Teja and I guess you can call me a survivor of domestic violence.
I met my husband Brandon when we were in high school together. We were what people called "high school sweethearts". It was an on again and off again kind of relationship because he was so jealous of anyone I talked to. I believed him when he said he was like that because he loved me so much.
We went to different colleges but we stayed together even though we were far apart. The long distance relationship was hard not just because we didn't like being apart, but also because he kept asking me if I was cheating on him. I always had to reassure him I wasn't.
We married in 1988 after we were done with college. That's when it all fell apart. About a month into our marriage, I was late coming home from work because someone called out sick and with being short one person on a busy day, things got hectic. Brandon screamed at me the second I walked in the door and demanded to know why I was late. I said, Brandon, let me settle down and I'll tell you what happened today. I walked into the kitchen and he followed me. He spun me around and slapped me. He said, I ASKED YOU A QUESTION. I just stood there stunned and then he punched me. He said WELL?? I just said that we were short someone at work and the work load was big and I was crying and then he walked away.
I just went into the bedroom crying all night. I didn't understand what just happened. Later he came into the bedroom and said he was sorry and he was having a bad day too.
Things were good for a while but then it all started again. Brandon always accused me of cheating on him and it always ended up with him hitting me. He raped me if I didn't want to have sex. When I became pregnant with my son I had mixed emotions. I knew he was the product of a rape but I also thought this would put an end to all the abuse and it would help our marriage. Brandon was really happy we were going to have a baby. After the baby was born, Brandon started drinking more saying he was under a lot of pressure financially which is something I didn't understand because we both had jobs. I found out later he had a baby with another woman he had to support. All that time HE accused me of cheating on HIM! When Brandon drank he got really violent, more than usual. I was so afraid of him that he would hurt me in front of our son or that even that he'd hurt our son.
I stuck around because I was too afraid to leave. I lost track how many times he pointed a gun at me when he thought I was going to leave. But other times he was so wonderful. It was like I had the man that I married back.
When I was pregnant with Elicia, Brandon was so happy. He was so loving and he doted on me all the time. He was still like that for a while after Elicia was born and it was like we were a family again.
About a year after Elicia was born, it all went back to hell. He quit drinking for a while but he was doing it again. Every few months, it would all hit the fan and then everything was back to normal again. I even left a few times and I paid for that very dearly.
Fast forwarding 9 more years, in the months before we left for the last time, things were terrible. Brandon was violent more and more often. He started bringing women home and sleep in our bed and he threatened me with a gun if I ever complained about it or wanted to leave again. The night before we left, I found out he was sexually abusing my daughter and that was the last straw. I screamed and screamed at him and he lunged at me, pushed me over the table and wrapped his hands around my neck and kept yelling DON'T YOU EVER TALK TO ME LIKE THAT, until I passed out. When I came to, he was passed out drunk on the chair and stayed that way for a long time. I started packing while he was passed out. In the very early morning and sunrise wasn't coming for another half hour, we walked out. I thought he was still passed out and I should have checked before we left. My daughter Elicia might still be alive if I did because....
