Chapter Eighteen
It feels like it is still the middle of the night and Viggo's eyes are somewhat thick and heavy. He yawns profusely and tries to keep the car safely on the road ahead of him, realising that if he had to do this every morning, he would probably start crashing into trees and lampposts within a week. He always sympathised with the four hobbits starting at the most ungodly hours of the day, and right now, he is beginning to understand exactly what it feels like.
So he yawns again to prove his point, pulls up into the studio car park and switches off the engine. For a minute he stays where he is, staring at the tiny green digits of the car clock that read four thirty AM, then staring out of the window into the inky blackness of another New Zealand night. He gets out, grabs his Ranger sword and perfectly dirty cloak from the back seat, locks the door and starts walking towards the trailers in the distance, scanning for any lights that might be on inside of them.
A car is pulling up behind him and he moves to the side of the makeshift road that circles the many trailers still lining the studio grounds. Even though they are only shooting pick-ups now, some trailers are still necessary every day.
When the car comes to a halt he watches Billy getting out on the passenger side, thanking the driver. The car disappears and Viggo starts walking again. He notices how Billy doesn't move, but just stands still, stretching his back, eyes closed, inhaling the crisp early-morning air.
"Morning," Viggo says in a gentle voice, careful not to scare the living daylights out of the Scot. Billy jumps anyway, and quickly turns around, trying to figure out why the voice he's hearing at this time of the day sounds so oddly out of place to him. His eyes light up in recognition and relief when he notices the Ranger in the soft light of the nearest trailer.
"Viggo," he breathes, and for some reason they both decide to embrace each other. They hang onto each other a moment longer than they would normally have, and when they part there is a sheepish grin around Billy's lips.
"You don't have to be here until another few hours, now do you, Vig?" he asks and gives his colleague an inquisitive look. Viggo shakes his head and both men start walking towards a trailer that has a sign spelling 'Pippin' on the door. An assistant walks up to the both of them and they readily agree to the coffee she offers to bring around. They stop in front of the metal door of the trailer and suddenly Billy turns his head, scanning the grounds for signs of life. He notices how a dim light is on in Elijah's trailer, and how pitch dark it is in Sean's.
"I dread this day, Viggo," he says, very quietly and unlocks the door, inviting the taller man inside with a wave of his hand. "The four of us have to be in the same trailer in fifteen minutes. We have to stand in front of the same counter, and share the same mirror for more than two bleedin' hours." He shivers. "I don't know about you, Vig, but I am just plain scared."
He opens the door when there is a knock, and accepts the cups of steaming coffee gratefully, handing one to Viggo and sipping carefully from the other himself. They both sit down at the small table in the middle of the kitchen compartment.
"It's why you're here, isn't it?" he asks, giving Viggo yet another meaningful stare. Viggo shrugs half-heartedly, nods his head and drinks his coffee. He waits for Billy to put all the pieces of the puzzle together, guessing the Scot might have already done so, or will within the next few minutes, and when that moment comes, it will be early enough to explain himself.
"In fact, my dear Ranger from the North," Billy continues, and Viggo realises Billy thinks quicker than he gave him credit for. The green eyes are suddenly shrewd and very focused considering it's four fifty in the morning. "I think you are quite involved in this bloody mess." He places his cup on the table and sits back, folding his arms for good measure. "Or am I wrong?"
Viggo can't help but grin at the amount of unnecessary powerplay from the diminutive Scot, who is clearly very protective of his best friends. He puts his cup down as well and runs a hand through his hair, all the while eyeing Billy carefully.
"Yes," he says, quiet and softly, like he's confessing his darkest secret to Billy. "You are right." He picks up his cup again. "But I merely got the ball rolling, Bill," and suddenly he remembers one of Ian's first days of filming, when the knight had his "I was barely involved" line with Elijah on Gandalf's cart. He smiles.
Billy ignores the laughter in Viggo's eyes, too pre-occupied with the impending disaster he will surely have to deal with in Feet in ten minutes. He barely notices it when the tall American gets up, dumps the Styrofoam cup in a dustbin near the door and turns to look at Billy.
"Hey," he says softly, and Billy looks up. "Don't worry too much. Lij is a big boy, and Sean is only pretending he knows it all. It will all work out, you'll see."
"I'm not too sure, Vig," Billy twirls the cup around and around in his hands. "Elijah - I have never seen him so furious before... I mean, did you look at him? Really look?"
"Absolutely," the Ranger replies, and the smirk he sported last night returns. "I have watched Lij and I have watched Dom and Sean and you, too, and to be honest, I enjoyed the sight immensely."
Billy opens his mouth to vent his indignation over Viggo's words, but he is stopped short by the serious look in the man's eyes. "I'm not gloating over it, Bill, never for a minute think that I am. But last night it was time for the air to be cleared, and our pretty Ringbearer took complete initiative. I have never felt so proud of him before, and that's saying something." He takes a deep breath and Billy is staring at his feet, taking in Viggo's words.
"Sure," the American continues, in his usual growl. "I saw the fury unleashed in his eyes, and for a moment he scared me, too. But once I heard his words, I knew it just had to happen, it was time. It needed to be released, because it was the next logical step. Dom saw that, I saw that, and yesterday, Lij saw it too. And I think you know all of this, when you're really honest with yourself. Right?"
Billy grins, dumping his own cup in the dustbin. "Okay, okay," he chuckles. "Credit where it's due. But-" He puts his hand over Viggo's, preventing him from opening the door, looking at him with his green, piercing eyes.
"Yes," Viggo breaks in. "Yes, Dom asked me to put Lij on the spot yesterday." Billy grins again, mumbling "I knew it" under his breath.
"He had asked Ian first, but our wizard, in his infinite wisdom, suggested I should do it. He thought the fact that he himself is so openly gay might jeopardise the preferred outcome of the whole enterprise in the pub last night." Viggo opens the door, accepting his cloak from Billy, who locks the trailer behind them.
"Off to Feet, then?" Viggo asks and grabs his huge sword from its spot against the railing of the trailer's metal stairs. Billy nods. "It's still early, but maybe it's best if I were to be there first." They embrace each other again and when they let go, Viggo's eyes follow Billy until he has disappeared into the Feet trailer.
He throws the cloak over one shoulder, swings his sword a couple of times and briskly walks in the direction of the only other lamp-lit trailer.
* * *
Sean replaces the phone in its cradle and stares at the wall in the darkness of his trailer. He notices how the clock is steadily ticking the early-morning seconds away, and to his chagrin, finds that it doesn't tick loud enough to drown out his unsteady breathing. Maybe, if he sits here for just a few minutes longer, the wobbly feeling in his legs will subside and he can actually get up to start this dreadful day.
* * *
One knock and the door flies open.
Dom.
"Hey," Viggo starts, his voice gentle. "Can I come in?"
Dom nods and steps back, giving Viggo space to enter the trailer, still carrying his sword and cloak. He notices that there is one light on, in the kitchenette, but the rest of the place is shrouded in darkness. Dom moves over to the small table and finishes unpacking some items from his bag, motioning for the Ranger to take a seat.
"How are you, Dominic?" and when Dom hears Viggo use his full name, he instantly knows this is not the time for masks or jokes or escape routes. He turns around slowly and sits on the edge of the table, lowering the bag onto the floor carefully.
"Well," he says and clears his throat. "Let's just say that I could still wrench Sean's neck for everything he said yesterday. And when you consider the fact that I have been chasing Lij at top speed, arguing with him for shutting me out again, almost having my lip bitten off and making sure he didn't do himself any serious damage, I would say it's a wonder I haven't stopped by Astin's house yet to take a real good swing at him."
Viggo grins and reaches out to the boy on the table, hugging him close and rubbing his back. "You did well, Dom," he grumbles, close to his ear. "You are a true friend."
After a minute in silence they let go of each other and Viggo takes an unconscious look around the quiet, dark trailer. "Where is he anyway?" he finally asks, when he realises Dom is not going to supply that information of his own accord.
"Outside," is the clipped reply, and Dom plants himself back on his feet, grabbing his bag from the floor. He picks up his jacket, ready to leave. "In fact," he adds solemnly. "I'd better go and find him, or we're going to be late for Feet. Did you see any of the others?"
"Billy. I spoke with Billy," Viggo opens the door and walks out, waiting for Dom to follow and lock up behind them. They start walking towards the now brightly lit Feet trailer. "He's nervous about today."
"Can't say I blame him."
"I said it would all work out fine."
"I hope it will, Viggo. I really do."
"Why is Lij outside?"
"He has been smoking non-stop tonight, Vig," and Dom stops dead in his tracks. "We never went to bed." The Ranger raises his eyebrows and moves in between the hobbit and his destination, giving him a questioning look.
"I slept on the livingroom couch for a couple of hours, you know, but Lij didn't sleep at all. Make up is going to have a field day with him, I'll tell you that," Dom says and looks down, pushing bits of dirt around with his foot. He remains silent for a bit longer and then lifts his head to give the Dane a shy smile. "He fucked me last night, Viggo, fucked me in the middle of a bloody street, almost right under a goddamned lamppost..."
Viggo's eyebrows move up a little further, but he doesn't say a thing.
"I allowed it," Dom continues, staring at his feet again. "I allowed it because I liked it, I won't lie about it. It was dangerous and fast and furious and, yes, I liked it... But it was also completely insane..." He swallows and lifts his head, studying Viggo's eyes, searching for traces of disgust.
"He needed to blow off steam, you know?" Dom explains. "Will you believe he had actually slammed his hand into a wall? I mean, it scared me, man, because he was bleeding like crazy and in the end he just clung to me like I was all he had left and, yeah... Jesus, Viggo... We fucked in a goddamned street."
A half smile begins to form around Dom's lips and Viggo chuckles softly. "Iron balls strikes again," he mutters with a smile and proceeds to gently push Dom in the direction of the trailer.
"Go, you'll be late. I'll find Lij for you." He nudges some more. "Go! It's okay. We'll talk later. Go get your Feet on." When Dom remains hesitant, eyes darting around, hoping to trace his lover somewhere in the darkness, Viggo threatens to point his blade at the reluctant Brit. They both grin, and Dom drops his hands in resignation, trotting off towards the torture that is Feet.
* * *
"I just cannot believe you treated him like that!"
"But... But, honey, I tried to explain this to you... You remember, don't you?"
"Of course I remember! And I also remember having to comfort the little one for the way he walked out on her without a second glance. And why was that? Why do you think he never turned around to blow her his usual kiss? Because he was crying his eyes out! Because of what you said to him!"
"But, really... Chris, listen, someone should warn him, right?"
"Fuck, Sean! I really don't understand why you stick to that ridiculous idea of yours! Why does this bother you so much? I couldn't care less if he screwed half the male population in Hollywood, which I know he never will, but it's his fucking business! Not yours! I told you to butt out of Elijah's affairs and this is exactly what you get when you stick your nose where it doesn't belong."
"But, Chris..."
"Do you realise you have started your last three sentences with 'but'? Stop being such a damn mule all the time, Astin. And start listening. I already told you that I am not the least bit surprised Elijah declared his love for Dom last night. And you'd better believe it's for real, because I know Lij better than to just randomly blurt out something so personal and not mean it."
"I just don't want him to get hurt..."
"I know, Sean, but life is all about trying and succeeding or trying and getting hurt. He deserves his space and he will take it, no matter what you say. In fact, he'll push you away if you keep interfering, and then you'll really lose him. Is that what you want?"
"Chris..."
"And there's another thing. Have you ever given any thought to how Dom might be feeling? I mean, if I were him, I'd feel terribly insulted by the precious little faith you have in him after all these years. Just think about it."
"Chris... please, listen..."
"Sorry Sean... Not now."
* * *
When Viggo reaches a large patch of grass at the far end of the trailer area, he finally spots the restless boy, smoking and pacing, his sneakers wet with dew. Viggo jams the tip of his sword into the moist ground and walks closer to Elijah, who has moved all the way to the back of the field, staring up at the tall trees that ominously tower over him, casting dark shadows on his pale face. Dom was right, make up is not going to be pleased.
"Lij," he says softly, and the boy spins on his heels.
They stare at each other for a few moments, and Viggo can hear Elijah's breathing. He scans the beautiful, familiar face, and, as usual, Lij's soul is bare to those who know how to read his eyes.
Viggo knows how to read Lij's eyes.
He sees guilt for almost literally attacking Sean like he did, he sees anger, bright and blazing because it really isn't anybody's fucking business, he notices shame for what he did to Dom, which is so far removed from his usual self, and he sees ever-present Confusion, this time for being unable to get rid of all the negative energy that is pent up in his body.
"Come here," is all Viggo says, and Elijah practically falls into his arms, dropping his cigarette in the wet grass, gripping Viggo's back hard, mumbling unintelligibly against the cloak that is still hanging over Viggo's shoulder.
* * *
"Hi guys..." Sean mutters as he opens the door and takes in the site before him. Dom and Billy are already on their Feet boxes, both with one hand hanging on to the railing overhead. Dom is sipping tea, trying his best to ignore Sean, whereas Billy turns around and briefly looks at him, managing a weak smile.
Sean takes that as a sign he's not a complete outcast yet and so he walks over to a waiting Sean Foot, greets him, shrugs out of his jacket and steps onto the box.
The door swings open a second time and Elijah comes in, Viggo's voice somewhere in the background, saying goodbye. Billy and Dom exchange swift glances and Sean can only stare at Lij, taking in the disturbing sight of his pale cheeks and sunken eyes, clearly caused by lack of sleep. He is not sure if it causes him to feel guilty or angry, but he won't take his eyes off of him.
Elijah crushes his cigarette in an ashtray near the door and moves towards his station. When he is halfway across the trailer he stops, snakes his hand around Dom's neck in order to pull his face down and then kisses his completely surprised lover full on the mouth. It's a slow, tempting, wet kiss and as soon as Dom recovers and actually realises what is going on, he quickly brings his hands up to Elijah's face and runs his fingers over the cold, smooth cheeks.
Elijah shivers under Dom's touch and a moan escapes. Their lips part and Elijah slowly lets go of Dom's neck. "I'm so sorry," he mumbles, still close to Dom's mouth, voice a little hoarse with fatigue and too many cigarettes. He smiles and gives Dom another, small, departing kiss and walks towards his own Feet box, ruffling Billy's hair when he passes him.
Elijah sits down on the counter, loosens the laces of his shoes and pulls them off impatiently. When he moves to hop off the counter, he notices Sean's expression, notices that the man is completely stunned by the liberty he just took with Dom. There is a wordless challenge in Lij's eyes, and Sean shrugs, letting it go, unable to stand his ground under the unrelenting scrutiny of the blue gaze.
"You know," Elijah says, cutting through the silence, and Sean cringes. Billy merely raises his eyebrows and Dom looks up, vaguely registering Lij's words. He quickly returns, however, to replaying in his mind the brilliant kiss and gentle words his love just offered him.
"I am sorry for the way I threw you around yesterday." Elijah's voice is low and quiet and his eyes are dark. "I know that I hurt you, and I am really sorry for that." He coughs, clears his throat again. "I guess I wasn't myself last night."
Sean opens his mouth to say something, but Elijah shakes his head.
"I also said something about you never coming close to being my brother," and those words cause Sean to abruptly close his mouth again. He feels deflated. Elijah's eyes shift briefly, searching for the right words, then locking onto Sean's again.
"It was a lie."
"E-Elijah..." Sean stutters, but Lij's pointed stare doesn't waver.
"I take it back."
"Does this mean-" Sean starts to ask, but Elijah cuts him short once more.
"It only means that I apologise for the way I behaved and for some of the things I said. But as long as I don't hear you apologising for the things you said, it really means nothing at all."
Chapter Nineteen
Meet Confusion Index