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2/13/2002
Logfile from Elehu
MOO Time: 2002-02-12 23:54:41

Stores and Wine Cellar (#11839)
Redolent with the smells of oak and spirits, fresh linens and drying stores, these caverns offer a certain cool serenity. Swept clean and kept neat, the stores area is well-lit and carefully arranged to offer efficient access to the weyr-tithe. A few small stools and narrow wooden tables offer a quiet moments peace.
Deeper into the weyr, the cool dampness of the cellars stores large casks of wine and spirits. A large stone table and some worn rock-benches fill one branch of the caves, while the Storemaster's office is angled such that any unauthorized visitors might be apprehended.
Most of the hallways are barred and locked.. most of them. But perhaps a few are open?
Obvious exits:
Kitchens

Elehu (#19619)
Elehu has grown into womanhood with quite a bit of success. She has curves in most of the right places, though her body is still a bit on the thin side and heartily built, a stubbornness of physicality to match the resolute bedrock of her character. Her skin glows faintly of golden bronze, the visage of a wanderer. Her rich brown, shoulder-length hair contains streaks of reddish gold, bleached by the sun, that seem to make her hazel-brown eyes shine with an inner fire. Her hands are small, but her fingers are slender and nimble, well built for her walk of life.
Soft leather pants cover Elehu's legs from hips to heels, the materiel well tanned to a supple texture, taking on the light shade of milky klah. Carefully spaced black stitching lines the hems keeping the leather formfitting, and yet leaving them pleasantly loose. Peeking out at the cuffs is a hint of downy soft lining, meant for keeping her nice and warm. An almost flowing blouse of creamy lavender has been tucked into the trousers and opens about a quarter's length down, sleeves neatly buttoned at the wrists but easy enough to roll to the elbows when needed. Over that there is a sturdy black vest made of oiled leather that falls just above the dark brown belt, tanned to match her boots.
A soft cord of the deepest purple winds itself around a similar cord of bright white in a single loop. Small strands of icy blue and shadowy black are intertwined intricately, a long tail of all four colors hanging from the knot, signifying that Elehu is a Healer Journeyman posted at High Reaches Weyr.
She is awake and looks alert.
Elehu is 22 Turns, 6 months, and 14 days old.

Khena wanders in from the catacombs.

Khena (#20839)
The most striking feature of this woman is probably her near-white blonde hair. Cropped short to within three inches of her scalp, it is not worn for style, but rather practicality. Gray-green eyes sit at each side of a slightly crooked nose in a face with a square jaw and a strong chin. A scar following the line of her right cheekbone stands out white against her tanned skin, while high arched brows angle over her eyes. Standing at almost 6 feet, her body is trimmed and well-trained with hardened muscles of arms and legs. Her usually flat belly has been replaced by the much-widened girth of pregnancy.
The dark-gray tunic, which falls loosely from Khena's shoulders, widens at the middle to allow space for her extended belly. Refusing to wear dresses; the rider wears a pair of black canvas trousers with a much-enlarged waist, a red cord encircling them at the midriff to keep them up. Falling loosely around her legs to come over a pair of short wherhide boots, the seem to fit quite well, despite the size of the rider's belly. Scintillating in colors ranging from deep mahogany to an almost bronze gleam, her rider's jacket does not quite close at the front, but is still worn with pride.
Twisting together in a single loop around Khena's left shoulder is the two colors of High Reaches Weyr. Black and blue. Midnight's colors, which extends into a long tail, dangling from the top of the knot. Intertwined with the dark colors of the Weyr is a dazzling silver thread, adding a spark of light to the knot. Completing the knot of a High Reaches Wingrider, is a mahogany thread, indicating the color of her lifemate, and the badge of Mudslide Wing.
She is awake and looks alert.
Khena is 25 Turns, 8 months, and 23 days old.
Khena has no apparent threadscoring.

A small amount of noise emits from one of the rooms off the main storage area where light spills out into the hall way. A small stack of blankets sits on the wall just beside the door, and before too long Elehu emerges with yet more, one a bit thicker than the others. She sets the new ones on the other pile and straightens again, smoothing a few stray strands of hair back behind her ears.

Muttering something under her breath as she enters, Khena's eyes sweep across the cavern to fall on Elehu as the Healer makes an appearance. "Evening, Ele.." she says, nodding to the other as she approaches. "For the infirmary?" Motioning at the pile of blankets, she tilts her head giving the Healer a crooked smile. "You don't have apprentices or assistants to get supplies?"

Elehu gives a tiny start at Khena's voice but quickly smiles as she spots the rider. "Hi there, Khena. I didn't expect to actually run into anyone." She glances down at the blankets and nods a little. "Mostly, yes. I think I'll keep a couple for myself though," she adds with a tiny grin. "I don't want to pull out that silly stove heater of mine until absolutely necessary. Why I don't just find a better room...." She trails off slightly though and just shakes her head. "I didn't think I'd need any help," she answers, referring to the apprentices. "They're often studying right now. So what are you here for?"

Khena grimaces as she glances down at her much extended belly. "I need something... Larger. And warmer," she says, rolling a shoulder. "And probably a bigger jacket too. No point in going to the weavers. I won't need it for all that long..." Crossing her arms in front of her chest, she looks over the piles of blankets, then up at Elehu. "Need a hand with that?"

"There's quite a few things down here for pregnant women," Elehu pipes up. "I know I've seen the room once or twice." She bites her lip lightly and glances both ways down the hallway, a frown forming. "Can't for the life of me remember where, though. Certainly makes sense. You can't have more than a few months left now, right?" Her gaze falls to the blankets as well while the healer ponders for a long moment, perhaps comparing the size of the pile to the size of her arms. "Well... if you wouldn't mind. Much good it'd do me to drop them all between here and the infirmary. But we should find those clothes for you first. It wouldn't kill me to make two trips, if it comes to that."

Khena nods slowly, following Elehu's glance down the hallway. Not like she'd ever been looking for maternity clothes before. "There's about three or four months left," she notes as she passes the Healer on her way to search out new clothes. "More than halfway there at least." Taking a glowbasket down from its holder, she holds it up to peek into each room she passes, until finding one which seems to hold what she's looking for.

Elehu follows slowly after Khena, her face brightening as they reach the correct room. "Ah, this was the one," in case Khena hadn't figured that out. "See? Tons of stuff. The Weyr has had a lot of need for it over the Turns," she teases lightly. "What all do you need?" she adds, slipping into the room and heading for the various piles of jackets and thick winter coats.

Glancing around at the various shelves, Khena shrugs, then heads to one piled with thick rider jackets - in large sizes, and odd design. "Just a jacket.. And a few tunics. Maybe some trousers, if there're any," she says, grabbing the top-most leather jacket and holding it out. "Too small," she mutters, putting it back without caring to fold it first.

Elehu nods slowly and moves on from the coats with a shrug. "Um... like these?" she asks, unfolding a pair of pants and holding them against herself. Which looks... odd. She gives a soft shudder and quickly folds them back up. "I don't think they're long enough anyway," she offers as an excuse before muttering beneath her breath about how she'd rather go naked than wear those things. Ahem. But they /were/ a rather distasteful set of trousers. "I think I heard once that you should dress in layers. I guess you can go through cold and hot flashes or something..." Yes, something like that.

Khena chuckles, shaking her head at Elehu. "Something a little more.. Simple, I think," she says, picking out another jacket. Well-worn, but the right size. "Not as good as my own, but I s'pose it'll do... Layers? You mean under-tunic, over-tunic and such?" Folding the jacket over her arm, the brownrider moves on to a shelf holding dresses, bypassing it without so much as a glance and stops at a large box, looking rather un-organized. "I s'pose this hasn't been sorted yet," she notes, digging around in it, hoping for a good catch.

"We should leave a note for the stores keepers about that," Elehu says idly, walking over to peek around Khena's shoulder into the box. "And yeah, something like that. Just... I don't know, layers." Talking fashion with Ele is like talking sailing with a miner. "Sweaters, blouses, those... button-down things," she adds, gesturing at the last as she grins at Khena.

Khena glances over her shoulder at Elehu, grinning back at her. Coming out of the box with a dark-blue tunic, she nods, satisfied with it's cut and size, and drapes it over her arm along with the jacket. "I did that when I traveled with my family. As much clothes as possible when we were out in winter," she says, turning to move to the shelf containing pants. "Makes it hard to move sometimes, but at least you don't freeze." Running a finger along the edge of the shelf, eyes sweeping the clothes, she shrugs, then takes out a pair of thick canvas trousers, which used to be black, but looks more gray now. "I think that's enough for now. Thanks for the help, Ele.."

Elehu laughs softly and shrugs, hands clasping lightly behind her. "I didn't actually /do/ much, but sure, anytime," she replies, grinning with more than just a touch of amusement. "And at least now you'll know which room this stuff is in. Could come in handy." She starts to move out of the room again and down towards her pile of blankets. "And no need to bug the weavers, which I'm sure is a good thing around this time of the Turn. I'm sure they're just swamped with orders for winter things. People never do plan ahead, do they..."

"Aye," Khena notes as she follows Elehu out of the room, remembering to close the glowbasket as she leaves. "I wouldn't want to spend good marks on clothes I'll likely never wear again, though." Re-settling the clothes on her arm, she holds out her hands, wriggling her fingers slightly. "Lemme take some of those blankets," she says, giving the Healer a slight wink.

"That too," Elehu replies, laughing. "I hope I'll always be lucky enough to only need new clothes when I wear out the old ones." She winks at Khena before bending to pick up the first few blankets. "Only if you're sure, of course," she comments while handing them over, not waiting too long before taking up the others. "A bulky lot, but this should do... So, first stop, the infirmary?"

Grinning, Khena nods, then takes the lead and walks out the stores with blankets and clothes in her arms. "So, how've you been?" she asks, over her shoulder as she turns a corner, almost bumping into a hurrying assistant coming down the hallway. "Watch where you're going!" Giving the assistant an angry glare, the rider mutters under her breath as she takes a firmer grasp of the bundle in her arms.

Wide and well-spaced, the stairs back up are easy.
Kitchens (#7908)
Heat and a large, unidentifiable morass of pungent odors assail those that pass through the herb-strung doorways and into the broad depths of hearth-filled kitchens. From the earliest hour of morning to shadows of latenight, the cavern is never empty: mealtimes bring vast crowds of drudges and workers scurrying 'neath cooks watchful eyes, while at other times a handful of clean hands tend the many fires and huge ovens that bake and broil breads and meat. A smaller hearth sits near-idle but for the ever present pots of klah, soup, and stew kept warm and ready.
Several anonymous doorways lead into storage caverns, stairwells, and cabinets that line the walls... surely anything needed can be found.. somewhere.
Hoping for food are Tolly, Frokost, Lorelei, Jager, and Tse.
You see Skan and Delphin here.
Obvious exits:
Cellars --- Caverns

Khena comes up from the cellars.

"Well... much better since we last talked," Elehu answers quietly, a wry touch to her voice as she tries to avoid the bakers and drudges cleaning up after the day as she makes her way to the caverns. "And what about you and Mneoth?"

[Travel spam]

Infirmary (#7841)
Echoing and austere, blank stone walls are vaulted high to overshadow the row of white-curtained cots along the back wall. Ancient metal gleams steel-bright in the form of sinks and examination table, lit relentlessly by bright glows and reflecting the colours of bottles and jars shelved above. Padlocked cabinets hide the more dangerous drugs and implements, whilst healer paraphenalia litters one solid oak table with sweetly-fragranced herbs and tattered scrolls. A small hearth contains a fire usually banked low, several cauldrons set ready nearby to for heating water. A dark staircase twists up from one corner to the dragonhealer's lair; one low door leads into the lower caverns, another to weyrhealers' quarters. Barn-sized doors open inwards with creak of hinges from the ground weyr.
Comfortable on top of a cupboard are Caerulus, Risidan, Hermes, Enjolras, Fluker, Kidda, Mercury, Jupiter, and Klee.
You see examination area and Candidate Physicals Board here.
Obvious exits:
Ground Weyrs --- Inner Caverns --- Healers' Quarters

Khena ducks in from the inner caverns.

"That's good to hear," Khena says, dumping her load on the nearest empty cot, glancing around at the patients taking up the others, then turns to Elehu. "Mneoth's good, as always. A little unhappy that I won't go in the lake with him anymore, but I have the firelizards helping out." Shrugging, she grins slightly glancing back at the occupied cot, motioning her head toward one in particular. "I see Tekin's back.. What'd he do this time?"

Elehu begins to nod at the comment about the lake, then frowns while scanning the cots. "Um... I don't know, actually. I haven't had the infirmary for a few days now." Probably meaning being on duty. "And as for the lake, that's probably a good idea, autumn or not. It's not good for pregnant women to alter their body heat too drastically, too quickly. Hence not going between." A fountain of information. Elehu stoops to leave her own blankets next to the ones Khena had set down then picks up the two topmost ones from the other pile. "I need to take these to my room before someone else snatches them up," she explains, nodding in greeting to one of the senior apprentices on duty. "I have some excellent juice up from Tillek if you'd care to come..."

Khena nods, picking up her 'new' clothes so they don't disappear while she's away. "Sound good," she says, smiling crookedly as another glance is offered to the sleeping Tekin. "Wouldn't surprise me if he slipped and broke his leg again." Turning back to Elehu, she winks and beckons the Healer to show the way.

Elehu grins quickly and nods. "Well, no worry of yours anymore, right?" she asks, forgetting any relationship between the two. "The juice should even be cool. I swear my whole room is an ice box some days." She rolls her eyes dramatically before turning towards the healers' quarters. "It's just through here... and down the hall. And around a couple turns. They really did stick me in the deepest, most out of the way room when I got here. But it's got a view." It's one redeeming quality perhaps,

You go to the Healers' Quarters.

Khena treks in from the Infirmary.

You head into Elehu's Room.

Ele's Spiffy Hole in the Wall (#16964)
This room is a natural little hole in the wall. Looking out towards the west there is a round, but very small and heavily shuttered window. It looks to have been a crude vent at one time from when the area was still an active volcano but a basic windowpane has since been added along with light purple curtains, giving the room a soft, cozy feeling.
A small bed has been tucked into the corner, covered by a think snowy white quilt. A clothespress stands at the open end of the bed and a few pillows are stacked at the end against the wall a small wooden nightstand set up beside them. A glowbasket sits on top of the stand, and there is a small drawer built in, and just above the nightstand there is also a glowbasket hanging from a hook in the wall. Against the opposite side of the wall there is a small desk with one chair pushed underneath. A matching chair stands off to the side, and a wooden shelf has been built into the wall above the desk with stacks of hides and small vials and jars stacked on top plus yet another glowbasket. A tall but narrow bookshelf stands just beside the door, stacked with still more hides plus some wineskins, bottles and other odds and ends. Between everything else there is a thick wool rug spread on the floor to protect uncovered toes from those cold 'Reaches winters.
It is an autumn evening. The high cloudbegin to thin out, and you can see a fuzzy white halo in the cloud cover where the moon rises. The north breeze continues, chilling you.
On the perch is Zauberer.
Obvious exits:
Healer's Quarters

Khena comes in from the hallway.

Khena lifts an eyebrow as she enters Elehu's room, glancing around at furniture and out the window. "This is nice, though," she notes, nodding approvingly. "I can't imagine it'll get as cold as my weyr, though.. I've a big hole in the wall, with nothing but canvas covering it," she continues, giving Elehu a wink as she drapes her bundle o' clothes over the chair's back. "If it wasn't for that hearth we'd freeze up there..."

Elehu dumps her blankets on the corner of the bed and moves towards the window, mostly to stay out of the way. Think dorm room but smaller. "It is nice, yes... One of the reasons I'm still in here," she comments, running a finger across the light frost on the inside of the window. "I have this tiny stove in storage that I use in the winter. I usually have Gid or one of the Smiths install it, though. They have to remove this glass and use a different pane." And now she's just rambling. Smiling quickly at Khena, she motions towards the bed. "Please, have a seat. It's much better than the chair. I'll pour some juice."

Khena nods slowly, glancing at the bed, then back at Elehu. "Thanks, Ele," she says, lowering herself to sit on the bed, pulling her leg up one after another to pull of her boots. "You don't mind, do you?" Nodding at her boots on the floor, then pulling her legs up under her to get a more comfortable seat. "I haven't had them off all day."

Elehu shakes her head quickly before kneeling next to the one bookshelf, taking a glass jug from the lowest shelf. She then grabs two glasses and sets them on the desk, slowly filling them with the dark red liquid. "This stuff is a little strange, but very tasty. It has a bunch of different fruit juices in it," she explains idly before putting the jug away and holding a glass out towards Khena. "So what have you been up to all day?" she then asks, pulling out the chair to take a seat.

Taking the glass, Khena shrugs, tasting the juice before answering. "This is good. I like it." Taking another sip, before continuing, the rider smiles at Elehu. "Visiting injured and sick wingmates, going through more of those hides P'rru stuck me with and such things." Looking down at the floor, she sighs, turning the glass around between her fingers. "I really do miss the drills and training, y'know?" Shaking her shoulders, she looks up at Elehu again, the expression on her face somewhat serious. "What about you? Did you speak with Reiko?"

"I can see if Pia or one of the other Vintners has anymore," Elehu offers, meaning the juice. "And you'll be back in regular formation in now time," she adds with a grin, meaning more than just flying as she gestures at Khena's rounded belly. Her grin fades a little as the rider mentions Reiko, however, and Ele shakes her head a little. "I haven't seen her since then," she answers quietly, swirling her juice for a moment before taking a long drink. "But I'm feeling much better. I think my main problem was just keeping it inside too long," she admits, voice quieting still more. "I think I was even hiding it from myself."

Khena nods slowly, then drains the rest of the juice. "Not bad at all," she notes, holding the glass gently in her hand. "I'm glad you're feeling better. I... I didn't like seeing you... Hurt." Hesitating in her words, the brownrider's eyes wander a bit around the room before finally coming to rest on Elehu. "I... Nevermind.." she says, deciding not to burden the Healer with more emotional baggage. "It's just good to see you're feeling better." Repeating herself, the rider offers a half-smile, then looks away.

Elehu frowns for a second before she can smooth the look from her face. "Would you like more juice?" she asks in a distracted tone, nodding towards Khena's glass. "And honestly, I'm sorry you had to see me that way. It wasn't exactly a normal situation," the healer adds with a tiny smile that doesn't quite reach her eyes which have reached a rather darkly sombre look. "What is it?" she then asks softly, head tilting as she prods gently.

"No thanks," Khenas says, waving off the offer of more juice. Looking back up at Elehu, her eyes still wavering some, the corners of her mouth twitching, she shakes her head, "it's not important," she says, though the tone in her voice is not very convincing.

Elehu's frown becomes a more apparent as she sets her half-finished glass on the desk. "If it weren't important, it wouldn't be bothering you," she says, though that logic has never helped her much. She suddenly smiles a little and leans back in her chair. "Khena, if I could tell you about what was bothering me, you can tell me what's bothering you, right?"

Blinking, Khena shakes her head, a twitch now starting at the corner of her eye. "Look.. I know you don't want to hear this, but..." Pausing, the rider looks down at the empty glass in her hand, turning it a bit to watch the way light catches in the transparent material. "I still love you," she finally whispers, looking up again with a look close to fear in her eyes.

Elehu takes a slow breath as her frown disappears, instead a somewhat contemplative look on her face. "I had... suspected," she admits to Khena with a small smile before she bites her lip softly and glances towards the window for a long moment. "It's been so long since I even allowed myself to think beyond... where things already were," she begins carefully, slowly turning to glance at Khena again. "And the time I did didn't exactly turn out well." Think meadows, two riders, two dragons and a healer.

"No," Khena says, hardly putting sound to the word. Putting the glass down beside her on the bed, she grimaces as it rolls of the edge, shattering as it hits the floor. "I'm sorry!" she exclaims, quickly getting off the bed to pick up the pieces. "I didn't mean to.. It just.." Stuttering, the rider is hardly careful as she picks up piece after piece, ending up making a cut in her palm, though not noticing it. "I didn't do it on purpose," she says, looking up at Elehu, her eyes becoming wet with un-shed tears.

Elehu kneels quickly beside Khena and gently waves her away, pulling over the waste basket for the pieces. "Here now, stop that," she instructs in a soft voice, standing again to pull a small box from the top of her desk. She pulls some gauze from the box and glances up at Khena, studying the woman for a moment before holding out her hand. "It's all right... just a glass. I'll sweep it up." Her eyes don't leave the rider's face, however as she continues to calmly watch.

Khena blinks, making tears run down her cheeks, which she quickly brushes away with a sleeve. "Shells," she says, looking down at the shattered glass on the floor, then Elehu's hand. "What?" A look of confusion crosses her face, before she glances down at her own hand, seeing blood seeping out from a cut there, coloring the glass there red. "Oh," she continues, blinking again, then throws the glass into the basket and holds her hand out to the Healer. "Didn't even feel it...."

"Cuts can be like that," Elehu responds lightly, motioning for Khena to sit on the bed again as she takes the hand and examines it for a moment before taking a book from her desk to push the glass aside. "See? Not a big deal," she adds, trying to reassure Khena. She then takes a small pair of tweezers from her box of first aid items and kneels in front of the rider, carefully taking the glass from the cut. "Are you all right, Khena?" she asks softly, glancing up at the rider for a moment. And she obviously doesn't mean the cut.

Sitting back on the bed, Khena hangs her head, closing her eyes as she lets Elehu take care of the cut in her hand. "I'm okay.. I s'pose it's just the pregnancy doing strange things to me," she mumbles, glancing up at the Healer for a moment, then down at the floor. "I heard it can do things to your emotions. Y'know, being preganant." Not showing much emotion at the moment, the rider's face settles in a mask of stone as she continues, "I shouldn't have told you...."

Elehu carefully begins cleaning the cut before she pulls a handkerchief from the nightstand beside the bed and hands it up to Khena. "Khena, it's all right, really. It's better to let things out... trust me on that one," she says, lips tugging into a crooked smile. She returns to the cut then and examines it once more, very carefully, making sure no shards are left in the cut before applying a bit of numbweed with a tiny stick (so her own fingers don't go numb) as the bleeding slows to almost nothing. She then wraps the hand lightly in cloth and stands, wiping her own hands on a towel.

Khena chuckles lightly as she looks down at the cleaned and bandaged cut, then up at Elehu again. "I s'pose you're not the only one holding out for someone," she notes, rolling a shoulder in a shrug as she attempt a smile. Taking a deep breath, she clenches and un-clenches her hand, testing its dexteriety (sp), before continuing, "I've been waiting for you...." Whispering, tears wells up in the rider's eyes again as she shakes her head, "shards..."

Elehu sits once more, the look on her face sad and perhaps a little guarded. "Khena... it's not exactly that. I just don't quite know what to do anymore." She shifts a little and sighs, glancing around the room slowly with an odd look on her face before she returns that gaze to the rider once more. "I'm not waiting... I never was, for that matter. I never knew there was a need to," she then admits, brows furrowing before she shakes her head. "This doesn't even have anything to do with anyone else. I just need to learn who I am all over again." The healer sighs softly, shoulders slumping. "And that's never an easy lesson."

Khena's grin is close to be a grimace as she gives a short nod. "No.. I don't s'pose it is," she replies to Elehu's statement. Reaching out, she touches the Healer's cheek softly, but quickly draws back her hand, eyes falling to the floor. "I should go," she mutters, but makes no move to leave.

"Only if you have to," Elehu replies as an almost confused look crosses her face. "If you'd rather talk... that's fine too." She doesn't move at Khena's touch. If anything the confused look intensifies for a brief moment. "I just... might not always know what to say," she finally adds, tone almost defeated. "I'm really not much of a mindhealer, I'm afraid. But I can be a friend. I just can't promise more than that right now."

Talk. Friend. The words find their way to Khena's ears, but are slow to sink in. After a long moment, she nods the corners of her mouth turning up in a strained smile. "I dunno... Talking is hard sometimes," she finally says, letting out a sigh as her arms fold around to hug herself. "I don't talk with a lot of people about... These things.. Except Mneoth.. And you.." Blinking, the rider looks away and down at the floor. "We've been friends for a long time," she finally adds, letting an unspoken wish hang in the air.

Elehu nods slowly and tries to catch Khena's gaze, smiling softly. "We have. You were one of the very first friends I ever made here," she adds, smile growing a little. "And I know it's hard to talk. Shells, here am I, a flaming /mindhealer/ and I can't even talk about my own problems." She shrugs a little, definitely a little more at ease now than a moment before. "It does get easier though. Talking, I mean. And it's a start."

"I guess," Khena notes after catching Elehu's gaze and holding it for quite a while. "I don't even know where to start, though...." Letting out a deep sigh, she flops back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. "And I'm sure you're a fine mindhealer. Or you wouldn't be a jouneyman," she says, lifting her head slightly to shoot a genuine grin at the Healer, followed by a wink.

Elehu just laughs softly, slender shoulders giving a bit of a shrug. "I'm really much better with children. That's where my training is, anyway. Children don't have nearly as many problems though," she adds in a teasing tone. "Though they /are/ a bit harder to help sometimes. The younger ones often have a lot of trouble even knowing what's going on, much less telling me about it." In other words, if a kid can do it...

"I don't know a lot about children," Khena says, her head coming down on the bed again, staring up at the ceiling again. "I don't even know what I'm s'posed to do when I have my baby.... " Folding her arms behind her head, she turns her eyes toward the window, looking out at the black sky. "How'm I s'posed to take care of her?"

Elehu shakes her head a little and shrugs. "I can't help you there. I said children, not infants." Ele winks quickly at Khena and sits back with a quiet sigh. "Kariel would know, though. That's his area..." She stops then and folds her hands lightly in her lap, glancing down at them for a long moment. "Of course... you don't necessarily need to know. That's why there are so many nannies in the Weyr." Just a suggestion.

Khena nods slowly, closing her eyes for a long moment as she considers that aspect. "I can't help worrying about it, though." Opening her eyes again, she looks down at her enlarged midriff, then up at Elehu as she lets out a sigh. "It's silly, really. I never used to care this much about anyone, but this is different." Sitting up slowly, her eyes locking onto the Healer in front of her, she continues, "/you're/ different." Suddenly getting off the bed, the rider steps over to the window to stare out into the night, clamping her mouth shut. There she went and said /it/ again.

Elehu nods slowly, still remaining in her chair. "It's a normal reaction, Khena. This isn't just /a/ baby, it's /yours/. I just meant..." Ele falters a moment, shifting uncomfortable in her seat. "Well, if you're not totally sure you want that life as a mother, the child would be better off with the nannies. That's all." She does stand then, if nothing else because she doesn't want to look up at the much taller rider like that. "Being a mother is a full time job. It means sacrificing your rider duties, sacrificing your time with Mneoth... with quite a bit for that matter. If you try to juggle everything at once, the child will end up hurt, I can guarantee it." Her little spiel for the day. "And you'll end up hurt as well."

Khena rolls her eyes, her back still turned to the Healer, so Elehu doesn't see her, becoming slightly annoyed at her insistance on avoiding the issue. Turning suddenly, she attempts to make eyecontact with the other, hands hanging limp at her sides. "Why don't you /say/ anything, Ele?" she demands, voice growing louder with each word. Turning again, she shakes her head, leaning arms on the window sill and forehead on her arms, "nevermind.. I know what you feel." Or don't feel, as the case may be.

Elehu winces at Khena's words and even looks a little hurt at first, though that slowly drains away. "I was just trying to help," she replies quietly, though she does stand a little straighter. Stubborn-streak? You bet. "And I'm not saying anything... because I don't know what to say," she adds, voice almost purposefully quiet this time as if to emphasize Khena's own tone. "And I don't know what I sharding feel, so I highly doubt you do."

Khena doesn't move from her position by the window, eyes closed and head bent forward. Shoulders quivers slightly as she begins to speak in a whisper, "is that why you've been... Avoiding telling me anything?" Lifting her head, she stares out the window again listening for sounds of Elehu behind her.

"Well... I don't want to lie to you, now do I," Elehu comments, more statement than question. "That wouldn't do either of us any good." This time it's Elehu who sits on the bed, slumps really, her own gaze falling to the rug for a moment. "All right, what I do know?..." She shifts a little and finally looks up at Khena, a rather blank look on her face. "I know that while I'm no longer waiting for... well, I really don't know. Despite that, my feelings for Reiko haven't changed. I can't help that. I also know you're a dear friend and I'm scared to death of endangering that. And... I'm also scared of getting hurt again," she adds in a much quieter voice, a small blush creeping into her face.

Turning, Khena's eyes still don't meet Elehu's as the rider looks up at the ceiling while slipping to the floor, using the wall as a backrest. "Aye," she mutters, drawing her knees up toward her belly, putting her hands on them, her eyes finally wandering over to look at Elehu. "I'm sorry... I should stop pushing..." Glancing down at the floor and up again, she shakes her head, "But I'd never hurt you, Ele," she adds, after a long pause.

Elehu gives a very soft sigh while rubbing idly at her neck, lips pressed together for a moment as she just stares at nothing in particular. "I know, Khena," she replies quietly, grimacing slightly at herself as she lets her hands fall to her lap and shakes her head slowly. "People rarely /intend/ to hurt anyway. It's the stuff around the edges that you lose sight of, though... that's what can get to a person." Which Ele has learned all too well lately. "I could say I would never try to hurt you, which would be true, but the chance that I might is still there."

Khena leans her head back against the wall, squeezing her eyes shut and wanting to shut her ears to Elehu's words as well. Lost for words, the rider sits there for long moments, listening to weak sounds in the room and outside. "This hurts," she finally whispers, not daring to open her eyes to watch the Healer's reaction to those words.

Elehu sighs softly as she watches the rider. "I'm sorry, Khena, I just can't say more, can't promise more. Not now," she replies in a small voice as she fidgets with the corner of a blanket. "It would hurt us both much more if I lied. Or if I promised something I can't fulfill," she adds, squeezing her own eyes shut for a second after that last. She takes a slow, deep breath, however, and glances at Khena once more.

Khena gives a short nod before getting off the floor - a bit more clumpsy than usual - then turns to Elehu with a shrug of the shoulders. An attempt to keep her face straight fails as her jaw quivers and tears well up in her eyes again, "I better go," she says, turning to walk toward the door, forgetting about the clothes she'd left on Elehu's chair. Pausing at the door, she turns looking back at the Healer, "I just... I.... It's late. I should get back to our weyr before Mneoth falls asleep in the Bowl."

Elehu stands as well, hands clasped tightly for a moment as she simply watches the rider start to leave. "Khena," she begins quickly, eyes wide before she steps forward to give the brownrider a simple hug, and perhaps just a touch awkward. "I don't know what will happen. But I'm still your friend no matter what, all right?" she tells Khena quietly, face sincere as she steps back a little. "Right now that's all I can promise... but I /do/ promise it."

Khena simply nods, receiving the hug without responding. "It's okay.." she mutters, eyes avoiding Elehu's. Stepping back, she bumps against the door frame, then turns and leaves without another word.

Khena treks to the Healer's Quarters.

[End of log]

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