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Father Shaughnessy signed audibly. She was back again. He didn't need to ask the nature of her sins. He was just worried about his poor parishoners, and who was the latest object of her attention. They went through the usual rigmarole, where she confessed to lusting after one of her neighbours, or maybe a boy in a store - and then stalking them.

"I know I shouldn't" she said "But I can't help myself, I just like watching them."

Well aware that he shouldn't, he became more conversational. He had to reach this girl somehow. She was incorrigable. "Who was it this time Gina?"

"No-one you know Father, just a guy in the mall."

"You know, to be honest, I'm beginning to wonder if any of us are safe from you my girl. If I'm safe even"

"Oh you're perfectly safe Father, you're way too old, and in any case you wear plus lenses, I'm only interested in minus lenses. See?"

He sighed again, returned to his professional tone and continued "....and sin no more". What a waste of breath.

She walked out and down the steps, walked half a block, turned right around, and started following another one. This one walked quite fast so she picked up her pace, hurried round the corner, and wham, straight into Father Shaughnessy.

"Oh, I'm so sorry Father, I was in such a hurry, I....."

"Who were you following Gina?"

She hung her head.

"My child, can you not just get a job in an optometrists? It would save us all so much...trouble."

"Well" she mumbled "I did work in one once but I got fired......"

"I DON'T want to know" said Father Shaughnessy quickly and gestured for her to walk with him.

How distracted she was, always on the lookout he thought, like a predatory bird. He left her at the intersection with an admonishment, and tried ".....and get a...HOBBY.....a different one."

She crossed the road, headed down into the subway and found a watching-place. She knew all the best watching-places. Businessmen in suits got off here, as did students. She wasn't too picky about age. In her early thirties herself, but with her lack of responsibility giving her a much more youthful appearance, she would watch them from youth to middle-age.

After a good hour in the subway she took a train herself, and took her usual place in the coffee shop. One of thousands in the city, this had been hand-picked as a bustling center of life on summer evenings, where for the price of a couple of cappucinos she could watch for myopic men to her heart's content.

In her head was a racing commentary: "Oh, look at him, very nice, mixed race, wonder what......oh! over there in the green sweater, get a load of......WOAH! sitting by the window he has to be at least.........wait, what's this, natural blond, I like......." on and on, until it got too late and she made her way home.

Gina lived alone. She worked hard and supported herself, but by any standards it wasn't a comfortable lifestyle. Her tiny apartment was clean, pleasantly furnished, and cozy, but certainly no palace, and she had no real career prospects or any chance to change that, as things were. She was just as aware as was everyone who knew her, that her obsession was standing in her way of improving her lot, and yet she was in no hurry to alter things. All that bothered her was the clock ticking away. Yes, she followed men. Yes, sometimes they noticed. Yes, some were flattered and would talk to her. Rarely did she actually get a date, and when she did, it never led anywhere.

The next morning she sat at her desk gazing out the window. All she could see from there was a wall, and some pigeons. That at least helped her concentrate on her work. After many attempts of finding such a job, she was now in an all-female environment, with no distractions. The only male, the boss, was too old to interest her. Way too old, due to retire.

Saturday came and she had plans. She was going to go to the swimming pool and watch for guys squinting. However the phone rang early and changed all that. Her mother was coming over. DAMN. Of course she was happy to see her Mom, but this meant hiding a ton of stuff around the apartment. It was full of pictures she'd snapped of unsuspecting myopic guys, like a fetish paparazzi, hiding behind shrubs and signs. Then there were celebrity pictures, her precious magazine collection, and the videos......she didn't have time to hide the videos. She just assumed they'd go shopping once they'd had a coffee. Her Mom wouldn't see the videos.

Her Mom saw the videos. She was just sitting sipping coffee and announced "hey! You got some new movies? What have you got?" and before Gina could even THINK she was going through them........

"This is a weird bunch of titles, what's this? "Over Time"? Hey, you're turning into your brother, he watches that stuff...."

"He can have it" Gina said, and meant it. Damn disappointment that had been too...."Highly recommended" by her friend Kevin, the one and only person she confided her fetish in other than her priest, he still hadn't GOT IT. She was into MYOPIC men. Sheesh, what was so hard to understand about THAT?

So they went shopping, her Mom and her constant chatter which she quickly zoned out from, and Gina looking every which way for men to ogle. Every now and then she caught a glimpse and felt a pang of excitement. Some were worth a really good look, and one drop dead gorgeous guy in quite strong glasses actually spoke to her, asking if she knew the way to the art gallery, and didn't her Mom jump right in and tell him? Like Gina didn't know? Sheesh, it was one of her watching-places!

An idea hit her, and she excused herself from her Mom, remembering a sudden urgent appointment with a sick friend, and made her way to the art gallery. It was a huge place, and she hadn't a hope of finding him in there so she lurked in the lobby, and got lots of other sightings while she waited. A good hour passed

Finally her quarry appeared from an elevator and she moved into action. Out the revolving door (which she almost got squashed in) down the steps, turn left, across the road, past the hot dog stand, avoid the trash can, STOP. He'd seen her. Just when she thought she was getting better at this.

"Are you follow....oh, you're the girl I asked directions from, did you...want something?"

The times she'd had to answer this sort of thing. By now she ought to have a perfect excuse ready, and yet despite being caught over and over again, she was always stumped as to what to say. Kevin had told her to be honest. Upfront. Just admit she had an obsession. He said it would go one of two ways, either a disgusted look and a request to stop, or an invite. She's never had the chutzpah to come out and say it. So once again she mumbled "I was just going this way......"

Few if any, bought it. This one didn't seem angry, but in fact laughed out loud. "Well, I'm just meeting my boyfriend for lunch, if you'd like to join us."

That was the other problem. In this city with its high ratio of gay guys she was often on a wild goose chase. Chalk one up for Kevin. Still undeterred she hung around and watched him greet his lover. They embraced briefly and her jealousy bore right through her. Then she headed for the music store and wept silently, but blew her nose loudly.

Kevin was working. After he'd dealt with his customer he waved to Gina and she went over. She gave her a big smile and a bear hug.

"How's your day?"

"What is it with you guys, are you recruiting or something?" she whined.

"Huh?" said Kevin?

"First catch I've made in weeks and he was gay."

"Oh, well, there you are, was he nice?"

"Gorgeous."

"Rx?"

"Argh, I don't know, quite good, you're so much better at this - maybe about like....WOAH!"

A customer had walked in, and he was HOT...

"Like that" she could hardly get the words out, she sounded like she was choking.

"Oh my" said Kevin, and pulled himself up taller.

"Mine" said Gina.

"Prove it" said Kevin.

She walked over to where he was browsing and stood very close. Then she reached across in front of him to pick out a CD, and said "excuse me" deliberately AFTER she'd done so. It was a test they contrived between them.

He completely ignored her.

She shrugged and gestured to Kevin, who left his post and approached with "Are you looking for anything in particular?".

The customer smiled, and Kevin winked at Gina. She stuck her tongue out at him and left the store, muttering to herself and even more distracted than usual.

It took several attempts for Hannah, one of her colleagues from work, to get her attention.

"GINA! I tried calling you!"

"What, oh....Hi....why? it's Saturday."

"Yes, I know but I got a call this morning, you won't believe it, Frank Anderson is dead!"

"WHAT?!"

"Yes, last night, massive heart attack. Nothing they could do."

Being her usual caring self Gina asked "Am I out of a job?"

"No, silly, they'll send a new manager in from Head Office, I've been asked to go in tomorrow and empty all the personal stuff out the desk and everywhere, change the name plates and computer passwords and everything. Weird huh?"

"Go to work on a Sunday? Very weird."

"Yes, want to come and help me?"

"Well, after church, I guess..........."

"OK, thanks, I hoped you would because, well, it's kind of creepy, you know? "

"Yeah, it is...OK....wow........a dead boss......that's never happened before......"

In Gina's world reality tended to take second place to her plans. It shook her up quite a bit, put her off her customary Saturday afternoon's man-following, and instead of watching movies all evening, she went to her parents place. Anderson was the same age as her Dad. It made her think.

She came from a large family and a number of her siblings were there. Although they were pleased to see her they berated her for not coming round more often. The place was full of babies too, and her older sisters couldn't resist passing them to her, making her feel even more uncomfortable. She was beginning to wish she hadn't come, but at dinner it all seemed warm and familiar, and quite nice. Maybe it was time to settle down.

Father Shaugnessy was expecting her next morning and he wasn't disappointed. He wasn't expecting what he heard though.

"I really want to try and change Father, I really want to just find a good man, and get married, have a family, like everyone else."

"What's brought this on?" he found himself saying inappropriately, but unable to hold back.

No reply. Gina was crying. He absolved her and watched her leave. She seemed quite different to usual.

Arriving at the unusually quiet office she found Hannah kneeling on the floor filling boxes with stuff from Anderson's desk, but she wasn't alone. Helping her was a good-looking - a VERY good-looking - man in his early fourties dressed in jeans and an open-necked denim shirt. She assumed him to be from her late boss's family. But Hannah introduced him.

"This is Tony, he's our new manager. Came in today to get down and dirty with the workers!" they both laughed. Gina was speechless.

"Oh, I guess you're not used to a boss who crawls on the floor with the office staff? Old man Anderson, great guy, but pretty distant right? I'm more hands-on, good to meet you" he held out a hand to Gina and she came back to her senses.

Well, this wasn't right. This wasn't right at all. For one he was going to be her boss, and for another NO GLASSES. And yet all the usual sensations were running through her body. She thought to herself, maybe there's hope for me yet, and fingered the cross around her neck. A silent prayer. Then she thought maybe that wasn't the sort of thing you were supposed to pray about.

After they'd finished he took both girls for coffee, and it was obvious Hannah was interested. She was flirting with him quite openly. Funnily enough, however, it seemed to be Gina he had eyes for, and she felt herself getting quite flustered every time he smiled at her.

Arriving home she immediately phoned Kevin.

"I can't..um..talk now Gina, I have a.... visitor" he whispered

"Not the guy in the store yesterday?"

"Yeah.......well, anyway, talk to you soon."

Thanks a bunch, she thought, I'll always be here for you too.

Well, she told herself, what if this new boss does turn out to be interested, should I turn him down? The boss, he could support me, yes. I could be a good wife. A manager's wife. Nice house, nice car. Yes, I could do that. BUT WOULD I GIVE UP MAN-WATCHING. Could I? She went to bed early, wanting to look her best next morning.

A respectful air of gloom hung over the office, but who could say they really missed him? No-one really KNEW him. He stayed in his office most of the time, never had a personal conversation with anyone, heck, no-one knew anything about him. No, this was just a change of staff, and Tony shook hands warmly with everyone and settled right in. He chatted easily to everyone but, unless she was imagining it, seemed to be very keen to spend more time with Gina. Hannah looked like she was ready to kill, and Gina therefore figured she wasn't imagining it. Three times in the course of the day he made the trek from his office to her desk to bring her things to do, when he could easily have called her in. He seemed to like getting around, being with the staff. Everyone took an immediate liking to him.

She stayed home all evening. She had no desire to go man-watching. She had no desire to watch her movies. She had no desire to go through her collection of pictures. All she could think about was Tony. It was the weirdest thing.

Kevin phoned, and apologized. But she wasn't angry with him. She said she felt like there'd been a change in the wind direction. She was happy for him. Kevin thought she must be ill.

"Oh come off it" he said "this won't last. I know you."

"I mean it Kevin, I really want to be normal."

"WHY?"

"Well, it's OK for you, you can carry on like this forever, I want to have a family."

There was a long silence "Don't you think I'd like that too?"

Gina was mortified "I'm so sorry, I just never thought......."

"No-one ever does. It's OK. One day....maybe."

Along came Tuesday and Gina got another greeting from Tony that filled her with hope. All that's holding him back, she thought, is that he's the boss and he needs this to be done discreetly. So, I'll give him plenty of time.

After his initial "New Boss" tasks he now had to really get down to work, and was busy most of the day. He came through once, smiled at her, but kept going. She didn't mind. Work first. Priorities, it's ALL about priorities.

By Wednesday he was snowed under. She only saw him once, very briefly early in the day, and on Thursday he didn't even emerge from his office. Maybe Anderson hadn't been such a recluse after all, maybe this was just one hellish job. But Friday he made an obvious, deliberate effort to come and see her, just before leaving, and apologized, sort of, for his absence.

"Well, I don't know what he'd been doing in there but I've got some serious catching up and damage control to do. He certainly didn't die from overwork - that's for sure, maybe it was guilt stress," and with that, he briefly gripped her hand and said "See you monday".

Gina felt like a million dollars. She'd definitely been singled out. She wondered how long she'd have to wait for.....well.......more.

She spent Saturday doing laundry and catching up with errands. She went to her parents for dinner again Saturday night, and when she got home there was a message on her phone from Kevin asking if he'd offended her. It was the first Saturday in 4 years she hadn't visited him at the store on her man-watching tour. And when Sunday morning came..........

"Forgive me Father for I have sinned......."

Father Shaughnessy sighed, but, miracles do happen, this time it was very different.

"I know I shouldn't lust after my boss Father, but he would make a good husband."

"Well, we may be jumping the gun a bit here.....but it's good news Gina, it really is."

Kevin was busy, again, damn him, so she spent Sunday putting away her photo collection. She felt like she was overcoming an addiction. She thought she'd quite like a photo of Tony though.....and then she thought of wedding photos and went off into another daydream. She'd got it BAD.

Monday started in the new familiar routine, he arrived mid-morning, greeted her warmly, and gave her a pile of papers, then disappeared for the rest of the day. Every time she saw him the sun came out, and these brief meetings just weren't enough. She wanted at least to give him some encouragement, so that it wasn't DOUBT that was holding him back....she decided to contrive a reason for going to HIM. But she couldn't think of one. There was no genuine, innocent reason for her to bother him in his office.

And then fate stepped in.

The ladies' room was being fixed. Staff were told that as it was such a long journey to the next nearest ladies' room, on another floor, they were allowed to use the men's room. As the only guy in the place was Tony it was pretty much free all day anyway, and it meant walking right past his office.

To her utter delight Gina discovered he worked with his door open. This was so senior staff, with genuine reasons to go in there, could do so freely. So twice during the day she went to the bathroom, and got a quick glimpse of Tony, busy on the phone both times and quite unaware of her walking by. It didn't matter. She got her fix of his beautiful brown eyes and slightly messy hair. Desperate not to slip into her old "ways" she resisted the urge to go any more than actually necessary, but she did have an extra glass of water.

On the third occasion he seemed similarly distracted on the first pass, but on her return he saw her and called her in. At first she was too taken with his face and the fact that he wanted to talk to her to be aware of much else, but some sort of internal detector took over and dragged her eyes to the desk.

Right next to the phone were a pair of glasses.