Quotes from my own life and those that touch it
Or
Things that made me think, things that made me giggle, and stupid things which came out of my (and others') mouth, even without bad dubbers.
On this list, any many names, even within quotes, have been changed to, as they say, protect the innocent. No, my name's not really El Juno. And, for instance, in the "Junogoth digivolve to..." one...it wasn't originally Junogoth, it was "<my real name>goth". Names for those who haven't given me choices have stayed the same...(Yep, some parent at my school actually named a poor kid "Tristan." And Cedar? He's my Calculus teacher...we all call him that, too. Gotta love Waldorf school...)
But Thornn, Caitlin and El Juno...those are all changed. In the cases with Ratboy (My little brother...) it's likely that it actually WAS Ratboy. His name is James, but no one calls him that, not even his teachers (they don't call him Ratboy either, but it's a point, no?)...
However, in one case this provided a bit of confusion...did you know that I not only have a fellow student named Ken...but I have 3 Kens at my school? And they all have the last initial "S"? If it wasn't for "Kenny" and "Kenneth" we'd be dead by now... And three Matts...and an Indigo (his brother graduated last year...name was Prairie...) and a Té, and an Aja and a Shoshona and an Ege and an Anea and a Sandro and a Sia and...
Now you know it's late. This has degenerated into a rant about Waldorf parents and the naming habits thereof...
"You'd look like a week old rotting corpse. Of course, that's always been the aim..." - Thornn
"So I go straight from sacred Buddhist chants to black tape for a blue girl." - El Juno
"I shall call him...Mini-Ken!" - El Juno (it's a LOONNNGGG story...)
"Less kicked-puppy, more skinny-puppy" - Thornn (on Ken's amazing gothness...)
<Thornn, El Juno and Caitlin are running for their lives.>
El Juno - "Anyone want a tic-tac?"
Thornn - "Oh, great. We'll die, but at least we'll have minty-fresh breath."
"Rocks and bees do NOT mix, boys." - El Juno (another LOOONNNGGG story.)
"Oh, I love the zoo! Look, Ratboy, they have monkeys, and...little monkeys, and...OOOHHH! Froot Loops birds! See?" - El Juno at the Biodome in Montreal
Ratboy's attempts to say "Gomamon"
Topamon
Togamon
Gongamon
Gomomom
Godabon
Ahfafamon
Fafamon
Gothamon
Golamon
Gomehmon
Gemmamon
Botamon
Motamon
Batamon
Momamon
Gaffamon
Golomon
Ekans
Arbok
"Ratboy, if you guess 'Meowth' I WILL pop your eye with this pen." - El Juno's response to the last two on that list. (Gotta love sweet, joyous familial relations, no?)
"AAHHH! Juno, that was SUCH a mind-fuck!" - Thornn responding to "Mask"
El Juno - "I need a name for this thing."
Thornn - "Why not 'the great mind fuck'?"
El Juno - "So many reasons I can't say it."
"Junogoth digivolve to...Perkyjunogoth!" - Thornn, as I go all perky.
"Monks are celibate. They have a lot of incentive to make alcohol." - My mom
"Hey, look! It's Le Naturaliste!" - Ratboy in the Biodome (long story...)
"Practically speaking there is no reason we shouldn't eat our kin." - El Juno in class.
Student 1 - "Does human flesh REALLY taste like seafood?"
El Juno - "Actually, it tastes more like pork."
<Everyone scoots away from Juno>
El Juno - "Um, or so I've been told..."
"My life is a constant stream of disturbing monkey imagery." - El Juno
"Doll parts! I need doll parts! And razor blades...and cheesecloth!" - El Juno trying to make props for animation.
"Okay, new plan. I have my doll parts. I need tiny skulls and LOTS of broken glass." - El Juno's new plan.
"Dude, that kicked so much ass it's not funny" - El Juno to her teacher
"Another day, another person convinced I'm a cannibal." - El Juno
"Freaky. Like an evil clown. With ice cream" - Zack on my music
"No drugs except revolution. And pot." - Phil (three guesses who runs our leftist group...)
"Ooh. Blue bed for a black girl" - Thornn
"Let's just say I kicked you into oblivion and leave it at that." - El Juno to Ratboy
"Let's find our way out of the puffy white...oh, FUCK!" - Ratboy, lost in the netting.
"Wow. Is that one of the guys in KoRn if he was Japanese and a chick?" - Ratboy on my Serial Experiments Lain wallscroll
"The cow's always hiding when you see the map" - Cedar
"Otherwise known as Daisuke's Army of Darkness" - Thornn on Daisuke Lovers
"I wanna be a frog!" - El Juno
"Black is not black!" - El Juno
"The salt I spread on my icy driveway has more personality than this kid." - DJ on WFNX about Ratboy
"Stop taking off my clothes!"
"Are you masticating?" - Overheard in Optics.
"Jesus is a sneaky little bugger" - Ken (not Digimon Ken, fellow student Ken)
"But C'thulu doesn't look nearly as good in a fuku" - Sailor Hellblazer
"Stop playing with my legs!" - Chris
"Phil! Put your pants back on! This will NOT get you an 'A'!" - A teacher, to Phil (natch)
"Eminem is like a Sanskrit poet" - Art Teacher
"New York is on my left nut" - Nate H.
"Can I trade hats with you, sir?" - Cris
"NOBODY disses the hypercube!" - Dan B.
"They're mirages? Then...why don't they look like beer?" - Ratboy
"Hey! Don't touch my guts, please!" - Tristan
"Wormmon's the shits." - Ratboy
"You know, I have this constant mental image of Ken and Matt sitting in a graveyard smoking cloves and writing angsty poetry about their respective loves." - Thornn
"He looks like he's going to an Orgy concert" - Thornn, on Good Ken
"Mimi...Mini-Mimi...Mimi...Mini-Mimi...Mimi...Mini-Mimi..." - El Juno, playing with a graphics program
"Snow. It...destroys me."
"Calculus. It...destroys me."
"HTML. It...destroys me."
"Cafeteria food. It...destroys me." - Ways to tell that Juno's been
hanging out at the Lost Temple of Ishida
for FAR too long...
"If you need me, I'll be in the Textiles studio knitting a noose." - El Juno, after finding out the end of 02...
"The definition of a Waldorf Graduate is 'can knit a pair of socks in five minutes and has an irrational fear of right angles.'" - Ken, telling the honest truth.
"Don't forget, 'Can live for weeks off coffee and cigarettes and only eats organic food.'" - A later addition
"The bubbles are coming! The bubbles are coming!" - Long story, running joke, you wouldn't understand it but it still makes me laugh.
"Everything makes me want to have sex." - Ben P.
"I guess it's all about booty." Nate H.
"We're in hell."
OR
"I'm in hell." - El Juno, around 20 million times a day, especially in
Calculus class.
"The third day, however, I had become a thing of evil. Children would
run crying and adults would not look me in the eye.
"I decided I needed to go drink coffee. Lots of coffee." - Roman Dirge
in a strip in Lenore...
"Not only can we know everything, we do. We just tell ourselves we don't to make it all bearable." - Destruction in The Sandman by Neil Gaiman.
"Dude! Elvis is the eater of souls!" - Thornn
"Relena is Elvis! And C'thulu is a duck!" - Thornn, again
"Being an activist is like being Sailor Moon" - El Juno (it made sense at the TIME...)
"Wormmon! Bring the Manic Panic!" - Thornn, in a surprisingly Ken-ish voice.
"Lookin' for love here..." - Sam, doing the World's Best Wormmon Impression.
"It is one thing to pray; it is another to pray to entities who might not only be listening, but who will seek you out on the road and beat you across the head with sticks if you say something that offends them" - Neil Gaiman, Sandman, The Dream Hunters
"To steal a quote from Starhawk, 'I believe in God like other people
believe in rocks.'" - Thornn.
"Well, that's funny. Because I believe in rocks like other people believe
in God." - El Juno's response to that (and if you internalize those two
comments, you will understand a lot of the dynamic between Thornn and I...)
"My Amazon's got a gold dick" - Matt
"Hey! You're not psychic! I'm just stupid!" - Matt again.
"Don't steal my soul again." - Edward
"Hi! I'm your guest DJ for tonight. I'm going to play some Guster and Baby Got Back. If you don't like it, kiss my pasty white ass." - Ratboy (needless to say, he wasn't invited back.)
"Est-ce tu mange ta derrière?" - My French teacher, in class. (and, for those of you who do even worse in French than I do...that means "Do you eat your ass?")
"You know what balls are...you grew up with them." - Cedar
"Connie can shove her block-book up her ass. And I hope you're taking that down in that little book of yours, Juno." - Té (well, if you INSIST, dear.)
"Your mike is drooping...it's impotent, Molly" - Ken
"Hey, they found a body
"Not sure if it's his, but they're using his name
"And she gave him shelter
"And somewhere I know she knows
"Some things only she knows" - Tori Amos, Past The Mission
"You'll draw the guns you're given
"Write down the words as written
"And never disturb the presence
"Of resurrection crutch." - Smashing Pumpkins, blue skies bring tears
El Juno: "Who can say 'no' to frolicking chinchrats?"
Louis: "Me."
"And today's fastest finger challenge...put these men in order of flaming homosexuality, from most gay to most straight. 'A) Ken from Digimon, B) Boy George, C) Elton John, D) Matt from Digimon.'" - If Ratboy ran "Who Wants to be a Millionaire"...his answer is A, D, B, C, if you care.
Ratboy: "Is that their gay ray?"
El Juno: "What?"
Ratboy: "I mean...it's a rainbow, and Matt is involved...what else WOULD it
be?"
"AHHH! Wormmon is no longer the shits!" - Ratboy, upon seeing the Megchan entry for Puttimon
"Why must gay men be so DEVASTATINGLY handsome?" - RatBOY in Paris.
"Look on the bright side...at least you can catch a unicorn" - El Juno to Ratboy, while the second was bitching about his virginity.
Ratboy: "Yeah...well...Je suis la jeune fille!"
El Juno: "Do you know what that means?"
Ratboy: "I don't care."
(It means "I am a little girl" in French...)
"Un carnet, por favor..." - El Juno, screwing up her French and Spanish...no, it isn't that funny, but Ratboy has yet to let me live it down.
"You know, for a city that prides itself on being cool and artsy, Paris is surprisingly freak unfriendly..." - El Juno, after being stared at on the Metro for FAR too long...