By: Ehren Hatten

Hello every one! And welcome to the Mark Spleen show! I�m your host and numero uno prankster, Mark Spleen! Today, we are taking on Cotkrit high school! Let�s see who we can mess with!

We are entering the building and are about to run into a fat hall monitor.

�Do you have a visitor�s pass?�

Why yes we do! Infact, we want to see you try to find them with out using your hands.

�Like hell I�ll do that!�

Hey you have a whistle! You use it on poor, defensless students like a cattle prod to get them to where ever they�re supposed to go, right?

�Uh��..�

I mean, really, the students are sheep to you administrators aren�t they.

�Umm���� (shift) (shift)

Okay, I see we aren�t gonna get much outta you! Bye! Let�s go boys!

We are in the English wing of the school and are about to trip in on a class. This black lady who hobbles around with a cane and writes worse than a doctor on his own drugs, is Ms. Borh.

�What the hell did you just say about me!? And why the hell is everyone staring at me! Why are y�all staring at me! Do yo DOL!�

We neglected to mention that she is also one of Hitler�s grandchildren and a complete lunatic. Um�..Ms. Borh? I would like you to drink this please.

�What!? Fine�..If it�ll git rid of you.� (gulp)

We have laced it with a sedative to calm her down.

�Oooooo��perrty colors�..� (scribble) (scribble)

My God! The drink has made her handwriting better! We better book it before it wears off.

We are down in the dungeon area of the entire school. Room 45. Hello Ms. MacMan!

�Oh, what�s going on. And where�s your notebook! If you don�t have one, then take this one.�

Ms. MacMan, I am not a student.

This lady here who walks like a bulldog, has a face like a skull that has been painted to look like a face, and yet another screwball, has a fixation with binders. Let�s see if we can get her to admit she is a man.

�Then why are you here. I said, take the binder!�

I don�t want the binder! I�m here to ask�what kind of operation did you have two years ago?

�I never had an operation.�

Damn! How about what kind of underwear do you wear?

�Boxers and when I�m feeling sexy�briefs.�

That�s good enough. And don�t worry about that wig! It looks completely natural! (snicker)

We are in the I-35 of the entire school, the �senior hall�! If you thought traffic on the road was bad, then this hall is worse! The reason�..all the preps stand around doing nothing, but talk about who has the best car or clothes, who�s dad has more cash, and generally annoy everyone by taking up the entire hallway and stand in front of everyone�s locker. Hello�what is your name?

�(giggle!) Like, my name is Britney and like, I�m a Tex-Ban. (giggle!)�

Ah yes��you are the ones who wear the minuscule skirts and parade around hoping every guy looks at your posterior.

�Like, what did you say? Posteri-what and mini-cool? Are you like, saying that I�m, like, totally cool!(giggle!)�

Uh�. Yeah�.whatever�..Hello young man! Would you like to talk to us?

�No, because I don�t socialize with people who don�t wear majorly expensive clothes, and because it�s beneath me to talk to peasants!�

Well�he was rude�better find another victim. Ahh�..room 251. Mrs. Trice-Harp�s room. She is said to be the screwiest of all the teachers here. This lady said to be an escaped mental patient, but let�s not delve into that.

Ms. Trice?��..we would like a��..

�Ah said, I don�t want any food or anything in here!!! I already had to deal with the leprechauns!!! I don�t need to deal with the little gray aliens!!!! I said, I don�t need a damned anal probe!!!!! Get away from me!!!!!!!!!!�

Okay�it looks like she forgot to take her medicine and the men in white are going to come soon, I hope, to take her back to Lalaland.

I guess that�s all we could do for today. So until next time, bu-bye, creeps!