| SANDRA WRITING |
| Mental Insanity Down at the Fox Network Why? All I want to know is why. It makes no sense to me. How can it be? How, I ask you, how? How can it be that the same folks at the same network who program the best show on planet earth, "the X-Files," and the second best show on planet earth, "The Simpsons," also father such filth as "The World's Deadliest Swarms"? I don't get it. I guess they are just trying to keep up their reputation as a sort of offbeat network- I mean, they are sort of an outsider compared to the Big Three- ABC, CBS, NBC. But Fox has gained a reputable reputation now, sort of.I mean,people talk about the Big four, and i's UPN and uh, that other one... I can't think of the name, oh, yeah, the WB, that are the outsides now. Fox has becomoe mainstream, thanks to such utter crap as "World's Scariest Police Chases." I mean, you'd have to be pretty bored or extraordinarily sick to want to watch something like "When Good Pets Turn Bad," or whatever the title was. "When Good Pets Go Bad"? Yum. Makes the pets sound like food being kept in the fridge, and then spoiling-going bad. Hehe. Actually, a show like "When Good Pets Turn Bad" wouldn't sound quite as awful in other places as it does here. Americans really, really treasure their pets, pets are like members of the family, so a show with a title like that really strikes horror into our animal-loving hearts, whereas in someother countries, pets are, well, less treasured, to say the least. In HongKong, pet dogs are usually kept in cages inside the house, and the plethora of news articles in the paper about pet attacks are amazing. I think maybe in Japan and other places it might be like that too, but I really can't speak for Japan, because I've only been there on stopovers. But I've lived in Hong Kong, so I'm speaking from experience. I think I read somewhere that Americans spend more money on their pets than on their children'd education.Or was it, more money on their cars than education? Both equally likely. I don't know. In any case, back to the Fox Network. "The World's Sexiest Commercials"? "The World's Most this," "The World's most dangerous That"- good heavens, what's with all the superlatives? Who decides on these things? What right have they to be saying that these are the ultimate in each catergory? A bunch of high-up three-piece suits is not representative of the world. But these "World's Most" shows pale in comparison to the truly, purely, utterly evil chick-shows. That's right, shows like "Ally McBeal" and the- I think, I hope-now-cancelled "Melrose Place." Those mentally-deficient robots down at the Fox network could have done no worse. I believe this is what hell will be like. I will be strapped to a couch with my eyelids peeled open ans staring at a TV screen, doomed to forever watch endless episodes of "Ally McBeal". The blood in my veins will boil as I watch these supposed lawyers do nothing but frolic in their unisex bathrooms. Aaaaauuuuuugggggghhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! You're lawyers, aren't you? Work! Work harder! Work really, really hard! Where on earth do you peopl find time for all your little office soap operas? Work! Damn it, Allym, your search for a guy is pathetic. You shouldn't have been a lawyer, you don't deserve it. Leave the job to people who will actually work at it, and then, you can go and be free all day to screw all the car wash guys you want. Go, why don't you? Just get some job as a ditzy waitress someplace. Why the hell are you so preoccupied with finding a man? Why be a lawyer? You should've just gotten married and kept house for some stupid MALE and left it at that! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaauuuuuuuuuuuuggggggggghhhhhhhhh!!!!!! <Sandra gasps for breath.> |