May 23, 2005
Outraged Muslims Stay Home
From The News Agency, The People That Bring You The News
In an alarming sign of complacency thousands of outraged Muslims failed to take to the streets today.
"I was going to protest but I had to run some errands" explained Muhammed Anon Aziz Al-Zawari, a merchant in Yemen. "I have protested the illegal and immoral existence of Israel and the decadence of The West practically every day for weeks. Somebody else can do it for one day".
"Normally I would be out killing and burning my Arab brothers but my wife’s been ragging me about fixing the bullet holes in our apartment from a riot three weeks ago." Said Anon Aziz Al-Zawari Muhmman, a taxi driver in Bagdad. "She told me fix it today or I’ll be sleeping on the couch." He added sheepishly.
"There were some kids burning an American flag earlier but that’s about all I’ve seen today." Said Al-Zawari Zhid Ahad, a shopkeeper in Damascus. "Praise Allah and death to Americans. I am in favor of violent protest as much as anyone but I tell you in all honesty, people have other shit to do."
Mullahs all over the Middle East have been concerned about an all too familiar refrain among rank and file Muslims "I can always be violent tomorrow". Sheikh Omar Al-Aziz Mohammed summed it up "May Allah the one true God bring us death and misery at the hands of the Zionist Imperialists soon, lest believers forget what we’re here for."
- T.N.A.