By Edmondia Dantes

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Part III

Episode three, nine years later or so
Onwards and onwards and on it must go
Steerpike's still crawling about on the roof
Although through the years he's gotten aloof
Still working for Barquentine, a lousy job
Fringe benefits: Fuchsia and never a mob
Titus has grown, he's in school now
Even though Bellgrove's a bit of a cow
Castle life's boring, so Titus escapes
And then he comes back - see, he missed his cape
Met old old Flay way out in the woods
(Don't talk to strangers - it does you no good!)
And so he saw a girl who was both strange and dirty
And what else does he do but get really flirty?
Fuchsia's out walking and who should she see
but our dear sweet Steerpike, behind a tree
She wanders, he follows, they chat and it rains
He tries for a kiss - alas, only pain!
For Fuchsia she tumbles right over the bluff
And gets hauled to a cave - Steerpike's plenty buff!
He runs for the doctor and for all his trouble
Door slams in his face, bursts his love-bubble
Steerpike stomps up the stairs, rather pissed off
Can't blame him - no kiss and he's starting to cough
The twins try to kill him, and that's just not right
Frankly it gave him a bit of a fright
And Irma she wanted to get her a man
And so she devised a quite cunning plan!
Why not a party, for all of her men?
Professors and tomcats! All of the fen!
So they come to the party, all in a bunch
While Titus eats batteries for his lunch
Steerpike is skulking while Irma host-esses
Bellgrove's a real cutie - even in dresses
They flirt in the garden and the scene is a keeper
Interrupted, of course, by their very own streaker
Then from the fun turns a sinister force
Steerpike's kilt nanny (a matter of course)
And so we scratch our heads and wonder
For our book Steerpike ne'er did her under
And after all this, there's still even more fluff
Even in graveyards, Steerpike's got the stuff
But Fuchsia freaks out and throws flowers away
Then hits him and hugs him in all the same way
Steerpike snuggles but then gets rather scary
And Fuchsia takes off out of situation hairy
While she skedaddles Steerpike makes a vow
That kind of devotion's hard to find around now
And Titus he swears by the stones that he hates
Somehow or some way he'll get out of this place.

On to Part Four
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