As I continued praying, it became very clear to me that God intended for Tanya to stay in my care, and not be adopted by another family. I explained this to all concerned as best I could and determined to become Tanya�s mom, for however long God dictated. The more I got to know Tanya (I spent the first year and a half just trying to figure out who this kid was), I saw more and more of myself in her at that age. I understood why God had brought her to me now� I didn�t know the answers, but I surely knew the questions. Looking into my own heart and wounded soul, I discovered Tanya�s fears, rage, and an unutterable sadness. I was determined to guide this abandoned and lacerated soul to truly know she is loved�first by God, her Father, and then by me.
From the beginning of this saga to today�s great victory, I can say that I had no idea what to do or how to do it. I was overwhelmed with the responsibility laid on my shoulders for this child, my friend Natasha, and all that became connected with them. I had lived all my life pretty much alone, concerned with no one but myself. Suddenly I had a family to care for and I felt totally unprepared. I was just as suddenly exposed to the Russian education system and health-care system�areas of this culture I�d had no reason to explore before. My life became extremely complicated. So I turned to God and simply said, �This was your idea, not mine. She�s your child so you raise her! I�m just a woman, a single woman to boot, in a foreign country whose culture and language I cannot truly understand. I don�t know what to do or how to do it so I�m not going to say a word or move a muscle unless you tell me to and tell me exactly how to! After all, you are her Father and the only �husband� I have.� And thus our family was completed and our path laid out.
